Is making out on the first date a bad idea if you want something long term?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure this could vary or maybe I'm overanalyzing a bit but I've had a few times where I have a date with a girl and well hit it off and have endless conversations that flow well throughout the date but if we make out, it hasn't really lasted or well just have 1-2 dates. There may be no correlation at all but it's something I've noticed.

The other day I had a date with this girl off okcupid. We hit it off pretty well and had a ton in common, she was very attractive and easy to talk to. Then at the end of the date we hold hands and I walk her out to her car before going to mine and we kissed but then it turned into heavy making out for 30 minutes. After I left, I didn't get a text saying thanks or had a good time and today I texted her and still haven't heard back.

I'm not gonna rule out that it's over because she could be busy. She just usually responded right away to my texts and might be pulling a 180.

Anyways to the point of the question, if you make out with a girl on the first date and it's someone you met online, are they most likely thinking you just wanna hook up with them and that's it?

[vmw2008]

Eh, not for me. I mean I'll try not to get into a heavy makeout session just because I don't want to give the guy the wrong impression, or seem like a tease if it doesn't go further. But if I'm making out with a guy it's usually because I'm attracted to him. It's a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Not for me. I do that when I'm really attracted to a guy. Which is important for something long-term. I won't assume he just wants to hook up unless he says so or acts that way.

[Asker]

I guess it varies for each person. There have been times when I've made out with a girl and they want a 2nd date and there have been times where I just had a kiss and then the next time I text the girl says that was too much physical contact for not knowing each other even though we just held hands and kissed on the way out.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, must be different depending on the person. Kissing seems pretty standard to me on a first date. I feel like it's necessary, to really know if we have chemistry together. If it's not there, there's not much point going out again.

[truthbeknown]

I think that is a great start. It shows mutual attraction, sexual interest and compatibility right off the start.

[Asker]

True. It's just weird how one date can you can feel like you have all that and then out of nowhere they ignore you.

[truthbeknown]

She may have been on the fence about whether she really liked you or not and needed as much information as possible to properly judge if you were dating material or not. At the time she was into it, but later evaluated there isn't enough spark or interest to keep it going for another date. Sorry to hear than, man. Plenty of fish!

[Asker]

Yeah I mean I'm not ruling it out yet as I don't know what's going on. I could just be overanalyzing.

[Anonymous]

it can be.