What does it mean if a man gets clingy after sex?

Watch yourself with this one. When I was 27 I had a "friendship" with a 48 year old and after one time having sex, he pressured me in to more sex. I agreed, only because I was horny and found him handsome. Plus, he seemed to agree to my terms of a sex-only friendship. (Does that make sense?) When we began having more sex, the more possessive he became of me. The way he described it was he was so happy to have this "young woman" but he was wildly insecure and jealous that at any given moment, my 27 year old self would turn around and find a new guy, leaving him without sex again.
He said his only pick of women were mostly older ones, and he cherished having a younger beautiful woman to be with now. But he also said something weird to me, about how I'm 27 and all I am about is fucking. He figured I was just some walking vagina waiting to be fucked around every corner who would give myself up very easily if asked. He didn't get that I was a 27 year old with a brain and some morals. No amount of calming him down would convince him. He figured if he let me out of my sight I was basically a fucking machine with no filter.
Maybe he figured that since I was fucking *him*, I must be fucking *every* other guy out there? Again, a clear sign that his insecurity made a mess of things.
Anyway, he was insane to deal with. After a short time, I refused him sex and just wanted to go back to the non-sex friendship if he was okay with that. He said yes, but was itching for it again and kept hounding me for it. When I said no, it eventually led to my rape. He came over to 'talk' and I believed it. He raped me telling me he needed closure with me.
Anyone here who knows anytime I've mentioned about my rape and that it was by a male friend who I refused sex to, this is the story - so now you know.
I'm not blaming the guy's age because violence knows no age. It's the clingy, possessive shit that got to me. People like this play passive aggressive a lot when they try and guilt you in to doing things because they play this little game of coming across caring when it's really controlling.
I hope like hell this doesn't happen to you, but I do think people like this need to be trained early that you aren't appreciating the clingy side and you're not going to respond to it in ways they hope and for them to find a new way to communicate with you and treat you.
Good luck!
Damn ! I am sorry for what happened to you. It sucks that it tarnished your view of older men. I can't blame you for your distrust, but shouldn't the guy be given a chance? He's just being clingy, it might actually be a good thing...
I don't distrust men. I tackled my problem by saving evidence, going to court, and with the overwhelming amount of support from the police who were called he actually put in a guilty plea. I'm not afraid of men. I'm sick of those who are violent toward women, and this is a sign that though he might have gotten what he wanted out of me in four minutes, he paid for it bigtime. I wasn't going to let any man get away with that. And his defense was that I was promiscuous. It didn't help his case.
I also dated one more clingy guy before my husband, and he was wickedly abusive in all ways except physical. He was verbally violent when he didn't get his way and acted like a humungous baby in the body of a gorilla. He and I didn't even have an age gap. He was just a clingy, smothering, possessive guy who couldn't stand me even going to the bathroom alone. In the end I couldn't tolerate his emotional and verbal abuse.
I just find people who act like this put up red flags for me.
Perfectly understandable !
I am surprised that he ended up in jail ! I am so used to hearing about girls being raped and doing nothing about it. Isn't that pathetic? I am very happy to hear you sent the asshole to jail !
Not all men are the same. Some of them are more loving than others. Maybe he is a sweet person and feels closer to you now. Just enjoy having all that attention and love. The world is full of cold- hearted people who look at you as though you are a stranger after sex. Looks like you have found a gem. :) Just don't hurt him. Try to reciprocate in kind if you can.
Thaaat he's a woman?
Hahahaha
No, sorry, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.
He thinks you want him to be more than just a hookup and he's okay with that. Or he's possessive because he knows you have a lot more options than he does.
Cause #1 could be the emotional connection has grown for him where he's lovestrucked and has become clingy. Sex is the ultimate and it can do that.
Cause #2 could be where he realizes the age gap. And instead of being just in the moment of the relationship. He could be having thoughts of you, "waking up" so to speak. And realizing that you're young and can "do better"... I'm not saying this, but just like what he MAY be thinking. This causes the person to start to act different, always wanting to be around, almost like monitoring the person you're with to see how they're still feeling lol. But it actually works against you.
It must of been some bomb ass pussy. Shieet i would be clingy too if that pussy was on point lol
I think it was on point. He was saying how tight I was, lol
Oh shit I got MHO. Thank you so very much Asker
Loool this comment is funny
Opinion
25Opinion
Well , clingy after sex, next type use anti static when you dry the covers, cause its probably only static cling that's keeping him there.
Seriously , I would never thought it would be a problem since I never heard women complaining about it , so that might just that particular guy
You are absolutely right ! Now that he has had sex, I guess he should be treating you like dead weight rignt? He should be using you and then throwing you away like a used condom right? The guy loves you, shows you respect and you come here to complain about it when plenty of girls are constantly complaining that guys "use" them. How are we supposed to know how to react?
I don't think she is complaining. She just wants to know if it's typical for a guy to act like that after.
@Darkfairy17
Well, the word clingy implies that it's negative, or else she would have said something like attentive, always there for her, etc...
Depends.. you see girls being clingy more often, but then again you always hear about your mates mate who got his heart broke AGAIN, so this effects a persons trust/abandonment issues. He could have those issues, might really like you, or may be really desperate because he doesn't fuck beautiful younger women so often. Either way i am gob smacked your not over the moon.
Every guy is different. If he's making you crazy then this relationship is probably not going to work, at least not for you. He sounds a little desperate. What causes a man to get like this? Mostly it's guys who don't have much of a life so they want to take some of yours. If he had outside interests and friends he would be too busy to be clingy.
I am not doing that. I do not think that there is any relation between the man age and being clingy after having sex.
most probably it is due to wrong advice OR wrong understanding of a true advice. do you consider him as an experienced person in making love?
Could be he is just totally into you. Or he could be really insecure. You need to be able to tell the difference as you know the back story. Has he changed his behavior in a remarkable manner? Like stopping doing things he normally did without you? Hobbies sport or whatever? If he stopped having a life and is obsessive then get out. But if he is just really into you (mentally and physically) then roll with it. The newness will wear off...
For some men there is a emotional attachment just like women. Like me if there's no emotional connection now matter how attracted I am to the person I won't. E able to sleep with her.
I'm guessing it means he doesn't think having sex with another girl is particularly likely. At the age of 42, that's understandable.
Oxytocin... A horemone released during and after sex.
Maybe its his age but thats mostly common in women but lets face it... Its good both ways
It probably means he is insecure... he's afraid you might dump him & find someone else... he thinks this is how you want to be treated.
Communication is key. Tell him how his behavior is making you feel. You are both adults (although that doesn't mean you both will act like adults). You should be able to talk about things like this. If he has a negative reaction to this conversation, then he is not acting like an adult... and you need to decide if you want to continue this relationship.
It is just that guy. Some guys are just that way inclined. When you have sex it releases chemicals in the brain as you cum and both men and women are susceptable to this. It is called love or attachment
It means you're a bitch. Sex is supposed to mean you two are super close now. You better tell him that you're a slut and he's not off the hook an maintaining his alpha personality.
Older men most probably feel a lot more lucky than younger guys when they finally land a younger girl.
I hope you realize you're basically a trophy for this guy. You're a big ego booster for him and he doesn't want to lose that, hence the clinginess.
While true, is that necessarily such a bad thing, if he treats her very well otherwise?
I really don't see the problem in being someone's trophy as u say if they treat her with respect and love her
he does treat me well, so I cannot complain whether I am a trophy or not
You must really rock his world. I would be flattered and pleased if I were you.
That's not an older guy thing. That's the signs that he likes the girl! He likes the sex! He wants more of both :)
he likes your young snatch.
Your probably the youngest he'll ever get.
It's either the girlfriend experience he craves/misses
or he's warming up to playing house with you
I don't see any reason for it to be attached to age. It sounds like more of a personality thing.
After sleeping with you he probably gained more feelings for you. Sex can be a big thing for some people and it might have been more special cause you two waited until your 6th date. I would take it as a compliment.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions