Watch yourself with this one. When I was 27 I had a "friendship" with a 48 year old and after one time having sex, he pressured me in to more sex. I agreed, only because I was horny and found him handsome. Plus, he seemed to agree to my terms of a sex-only friendship. (Does that make sense?) When we began having more sex, the more possessive he became of me. The way he described it was he was so happy to have this "young woman" but he was wildly insecure and jealous that at any given moment, my 27 year old self would turn around and find a new guy, leaving him without sex again.
He said his only pick of women were mostly older ones, and he cherished having a younger beautiful woman to be with now. But he also said something weird to me, about how I'm 27 and all I am about is fucking. He figured I was just some walking vagina waiting to be fucked around every corner who would give myself up very easily if asked. He didn't get that I was a 27 year old with a brain and some morals. No amount of calming him down would convince him. He figured if he let me out of my sight I was basically a fucking machine with no filter.
Maybe he figured that since I was fucking *him*, I must be fucking *every* other guy out there? Again, a clear sign that his insecurity made a mess of things.
Anyway, he was insane to deal with. After a short time, I refused him sex and just wanted to go back to the non-sex friendship if he was okay with that. He said yes, but was itching for it again and kept hounding me for it. When I said no, it eventually led to my rape. He came over to 'talk' and I believed it. He raped me telling me he needed closure with me.
Anyone here who knows anytime I've mentioned about my rape and that it was by a male friend who I refused sex to, this is the story - so now you know.
I'm not blaming the guy's age because violence knows no age. It's the clingy, possessive shit that got to me. People like this play passive aggressive a lot when they try and guilt you in to doing things because they play this little game of coming across caring when it's really controlling.
I hope like hell this doesn't happen to you, but I do think people like this need to be trained early that you aren't appreciating the clingy side and you're not going to respond to it in ways they hope and for them to find a new way to communicate with you and treat you.
Good luck!
Damn ! I am sorry for what happened to you. It sucks that it tarnished your view of older men. I can't blame you for your distrust, but shouldn't the guy be given a chance? He's just being clingy, it might actually be a good thing...
I don't distrust men. I tackled my problem by saving evidence, going to court, and with the overwhelming amount of support from the police who were called he actually put in a guilty plea. I'm not afraid of men. I'm sick of those who are violent toward women, and this is a sign that though he might have gotten what he wanted out of me in four minutes, he paid for it bigtime. I wasn't going to let any man get away with that. And his defense was that I was promiscuous. It didn't help his case.
I also dated one more clingy guy before my husband, and he was wickedly abusive in all ways except physical. He was verbally violent when he didn't get his way and acted like a humungous baby in the body of a gorilla. He and I didn't even have an age gap. He was just a clingy, smothering, possessive guy who couldn't stand me even going to the bathroom alone. In the end I couldn't tolerate his emotional and verbal abuse.
I just find people who act like this put up red flags for me.
Perfectly understandable !
I am surprised that he ended up in jail ! I am so used to hearing about girls being raped and doing nothing about it. Isn't that pathetic? I am very happy to hear you sent the asshole to jail !
Not all men are the same. Some of them are more loving than others. Maybe he is a sweet person and feels closer to you now. Just enjoy having all that attention and love. The world is full of cold- hearted people who look at you as though you are a stranger after sex. Looks like you have found a gem. :) Just don't hurt him. Try to reciprocate in kind if you can.
Thaaat he's a woman?
Hahahaha
No, sorry, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.
He thinks you want him to be more than just a hookup and he's okay with that. Or he's possessive because he knows you have a lot more options than he does.
Cause #1 could be the emotional connection has grown for him where he's lovestrucked and has become clingy. Sex is the ultimate and it can do that.
Cause #2 could be where he realizes the age gap. And instead of being just in the moment of the relationship. He could be having thoughts of you, "waking up" so to speak. And realizing that you're young and can "do better"... I'm not saying this, but just like what he MAY be thinking. This causes the person to start to act different, always wanting to be around, almost like monitoring the person you're with to see how they're still feeling lol. But it actually works against you.
It must of been some bomb ass pussy. Shieet i would be clingy too if that pussy was on point lol
I think it was on point. He was saying how tight I was, lol
Oh shit I got MHO. Thank you so very much Asker
Loool this comment is funny
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Well , clingy after sex, next type use anti static when you dry the covers, cause its probably only static cling that's keeping him there.
Seriously , I would never thought it would be a problem since I never heard women complaining about it , so that might just that particular guy
You are absolutely right ! Now that he has had sex, I guess he should be treating you like dead weight rignt? He should be using you and then throwing you away like a used condom right? The guy loves you, shows you respect and you come here to complain about it when plenty of girls are constantly complaining that guys "use" them. How are we supposed to know how to react?
I don't think she is complaining. She just wants to know if it's typical for a guy to act like that after.
@Darkfairy17
Well, the word clingy implies that it's negative, or else she would have said something like attentive, always there for her, etc...
Depends.. you see girls being clingy more often, but then again you always hear about your mates mate who got his heart broke AGAIN, so this effects a persons trust/abandonment issues. He could have those issues, might really like you, or may be really desperate because he doesn't fuck beautiful younger women so often. Either way i am gob smacked your not over the moon.
Men that are older feel more vibrant and more energy with younger women they enjoy being with young women not only because of the young attractive look but the chemicals that are released making them feel that way. It's an addiction. Now usually an older man will be less jealous given that they know that there was someone that is Young and attractive and also more energetic to go out and do things so it'll be more willing to do it and let you go. That said there's a deep-seated father/daughter psychological relationship. So if you think a young man and his jealousy is an issue wait until you see that. And they'll try to hide any feelings they have to give you that room to do those things all the while causing resentment and trying to hold on to that young sex. For a lack of a better term.
I am not doing that. I do not think that there is any relation between the man age and being clingy after having sex.
most probably it is due to wrong advice OR wrong understanding of a true advice. do you consider him as an experienced person in making love?
Every guy is different. If he's making you crazy then this relationship is probably not going to work, at least not for you. He sounds a little desperate. What causes a man to get like this? Mostly it's guys who don't have much of a life so they want to take some of yours. If he had outside interests and friends he would be too busy to be clingy.
Could be he is just totally into you. Or he could be really insecure. You need to be able to tell the difference as you know the back story. Has he changed his behavior in a remarkable manner? Like stopping doing things he normally did without you? Hobbies sport or whatever? If he stopped having a life and is obsessive then get out. But if he is just really into you (mentally and physically) then roll with it. The newness will wear off...
For some men there is a emotional attachment just like women. Like me if there's no emotional connection now matter how attracted I am to the person I won't. E able to sleep with her.
I'm guessing it means he doesn't think having sex with another girl is particularly likely. At the age of 42, that's understandable.
Oxytocin... A horemone released during and after sex.
Maybe its his age but thats mostly common in women but lets face it... Its good both ways
It probably means he is insecure... he's afraid you might dump him & find someone else... he thinks this is how you want to be treated.
Communication is key. Tell him how his behavior is making you feel. You are both adults (although that doesn't mean you both will act like adults). You should be able to talk about things like this. If he has a negative reaction to this conversation, then he is not acting like an adult... and you need to decide if you want to continue this relationship.
It is just that guy. Some guys are just that way inclined. When you have sex it releases chemicals in the brain as you cum and both men and women are susceptable to this. It is called love or attachment
It means you're a bitch. Sex is supposed to mean you two are super close now. You better tell him that you're a slut and he's not off the hook an maintaining his alpha personality.
Older men most probably feel a lot more lucky than younger guys when they finally land a younger girl.
I hope you realize you're basically a trophy for this guy. You're a big ego booster for him and he doesn't want to lose that, hence the clinginess.
While true, is that necessarily such a bad thing, if he treats her very well otherwise?
I really don't see the problem in being someone's trophy as u say if they treat her with respect and love her
he does treat me well, so I cannot complain whether I am a trophy or not
You must really rock his world. I would be flattered and pleased if I were you.
That's not an older guy thing. That's the signs that he likes the girl! He likes the sex! He wants more of both :)
he likes your young snatch.
Your probably the youngest he'll ever get.
It's either the girlfriend experience he craves/misses
or he's warming up to playing house with you
I don't see any reason for it to be attached to age. It sounds like more of a personality thing.
After sleeping with you he probably gained more feelings for you. Sex can be a big thing for some people and it might have been more special cause you two waited until your 6th date. I would take it as a compliment.
Your probably really good in bed and being much younger helps, probably the fact that he got someone as young as you he wants to hold on and hope it lasts
I don't think I was that good, haha. We basically did just missionary. When he was about to put it in, he said God you are so tight, lol. Also I have to ask you this since you are close to his age. When we were kissing and things were getting heavy, I was the one who had to ask if he had protection, he didn't mention anything. Is this typical for most men. I have only been with one person and he makes number 2
Maybe he wasn't expecting it to go that far so he didn't mention it thinking you were not going to have sex at that point or he didn't want to bring it up at the moment but I'm sure he would have been prepared at the moment when needed with out mentioning it. We may be older but still have safe sex
Some guys just bond more from sex than others. That might be what is happening.
He knows he probably can't score much younger and wants to keep it coming for a while!
He wants to put a baby inside you and be with you forever
u silly. :P
That's so weird. I never heard of a man getting clingy after sex. I think he is insecure and he is probably desperate
Most of the time when i guy gets clingy with a girl he thinks your the best he is going to get. That you might not be the one , but your the best thing he thinks he can get. Until something better comes along.
It means the Oxitosin, released from him Cumming is doing its job.
He probably really likes you
I think he adores you and your body has him hooked, so enjoy his attension and the love making!
He's sentimental (happens to men too)
He hasn't had good sex for a while
Damn you must be great at sex!!!
Maybe he's anxious to get married?
Emotional attachment.
that is common behavior
Aw, he wubs you.
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