My boyfriend cried during a huge fight. He has never cried in front of me before. Was this because he loves me but saw the end of "us"?

Anonymous
My boyfriend and I have fought several of times in the past, but this was the worst fight we've ever had. We got vindictive; we were yelling and throwing things; It was awful. We've been together for a little more than 2 years. As usual this fight started from something so small but I know there's an underlying reason for this fight; I started the fight... I start every fight it feels. He cheated on me once physically (slept with someone) and emotionally (texting and telling a girl he liked her and calling her baby and cutie/beautiful). The first cheating was a one time incident, but the chatting/texting, well it was on and off & probably flirting occurred while they were working (they've been working together for at least a year). I know deep down I haven't forgiven him even though I've tried; I understand that it takes time to forgive but I don't know if I can. The emotional cheating is what hurts me the most because he was with me when he was chasing some other girl. When I caught him, he ceased contact with her unless he has to at work (from what he tells me), but the trust is gone. How can someone say he loves you and then tell someone else he likes her? The things he's said to her are stuck in my mind and even though I want to forgive and forget I just can't. I've tried to hold in my rude comments about his cheating but when I do, a fight like the one we had happens. It was literally over me not wanting to mail something for him. This time, however, when I was throwing his stuff back to him he started yelling "what are we doing?" He kept yelling it and then he just cried. I've never made a man cry and here I am, I feel bad because I made him cry... was it because he realized we would never work out? did he cry because he does love me but saw the end? I do love him, but is that enough?
My boyfriend cried during a huge fight. He has never cried in front of me before. Was this because he loves me but saw the end of "us"?
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