Simple the reason is men are men and we have to be like that. Yes once in a while we may cry or may have a moment of weakness because we are humans too but that should only be once in a while.
If a man in emotional like a woman, cries often or shows his vulnerability like how a woman does then a woman will surely lose interest in that man, a woman will begin to think that the man is weak I mean mentally weak, cannot handle things and women see that as pathetic and always needs someone to assure him which will eventually put any woman off, it is like a turn off for women or at least to most women. With time a woman will surely lose all respect for such a man.
If a man cries often then the woman will think the man needs babysitting.
Yes, crying and showing emotions, feelings are good things and it shows that a person has a heart and is human but these are only attractive on women or to put it precisely it is more attractive on a woman as compared to a man. If a woman shows her vulnerability, her feelings and cries then to a man it means that she is sweet, kind, caring, sensitive and a person of soft heart and this in turn makes man feel more like a man and this brings out the protective side of a man and he will do his best to assure the woman that she is loved and cared for.
However, it is not the same thing if a man does the same. As I explained above if a man does the same then to a woman it will be totally unattractive, unappealing to them. These are CORE thinking of two opposite genders.
I don't know why exactly it is like this but this is how it is and to me it makes full sense.
Generally mem are more able to separate emotions from fact than women are and don't usually feel the need to cry at the same things a women do. That doesn't mean that men are emotionless, although some are, but we tend to analyse situations differently and more objectively. That's not to say that there aren't women that are the same and can also look at things more objectively and less emotionally. Also society says that men are supposed to be the string protectors and be able to hold it together in situations where we need to be strong so we can resolve the situation with a clear head on not act on emotions in the heat of the moment.
Exactly. You said it better than I could
He probably doesn't get really emotional. I don't usually cry unless I'm very sad or upset (I actually cried a bit when I found out I've been blocked by someone I liked) and I don't cry over movies. I have even teared up a bit around onions but now I've been eating more of them so I'm getting used to them again
I didn’t cry very much when I was a kid, but people who don’t cry might be working too hard to hide their pain. As an adult I cry a lot, I actually find my tears are a sign my pain is moderate because I don’t cry when my pain is severe, only when it’s slightly unpleasant.
Opinion
47Opinion
It happens. My dad didn't cry when his mother or grandmother died. Plot twist: he had a medical condition that blocked his tear ducts from producing tears. Crazy huh? As he said "it doesn't mean my heart wasn't crying the same as everyone else in that room"
That’s crazy
yep it was only a few year ago the eye doctor discovered it when he went for his first pair of glasses. And apparently its more common in men. So you never know, doesn't mean they dont feel. And sometimes harsh childhoods can harden a heart. Best believe though that if that's the case and he does eventually love and trust you enough to lower his walls he'll eventually let out a whirlwind of emotions. I know because I was that guy. Eventually after decades of bottling up my emotions I finally let go and it was the most violent level of crying I ever heard/thought possible. When my dog died everything just came out. years and years of depression and anxiety just boiled over.
I’m sorry :(
Its not weird but it is unfortunate. Make sure you are allowing him the space to open up to you and get emotional. Make him feel comfortable and safe enough to do so... being vulnerable is really hard. Everybody cries, everybody feels things... and everybody hurts. It might take some work but you should let him know that its okay to share his emotions. It won't make him any less of a man.
I cry in front of him all the time lol he teared up several times in front of me but he has never cried
@pink_and_inlove Aww well thats a good sign. Some people are less prone to crying, so its possible he's not an emotional person by nature? Anyways, I think its really sweet when guys get senstive so I wish you 2 the best of luck!
Tjank you :)
For a lot of guys, that comes naturally. Some of us couldn't cry even if we wanted to. I think partially due to society. We are taught right from birth from everyone (even women sometimes, we'll often get comments such as the ever so famous "suck it up"), that it's not "manly" to cry and only women cry. We are taught it's "weakness", which is ridiculous, but the reality sadly.
I wouldn’t feel turned off if you truly love someone you wouldn’t feel turned off. My boyfriend almost cried one time when he was with me and instead i started crying because he was about to cry but he didn’t 😂
That's jus your nature. Not social conditioning... I was never "taught" not to cry... Neither would I care about whether society wants me to cry or not anyway, I'm a outcast... I don't care about fitting in... Jus feel no need to cry
It's jus how males are trust me. We're taught to not be emotional... And we are also unemotional... We're taught what were suppose to be
Not all men are this way. I would be concerned about his control of emotion. If he is bottling up, he might burst one day. He may see crying be a form of weakness. Does he ever talk to you about his feeling? Not just for you.
He does
It’s not about control.
Men just cry less
Women cry more
Biology.
I cry, when I don’t, it’s not because I’m controlling it.
Crying is similar to laughing.
Fairly involuntary
True and when I cry, it sucks because I don’t want to. My boyfriend is always laughing but I’ve never seen him cry before. Could it be that I’m more empathetic than he is?
This is both not true. Biology has confirmed men and women cry out about the same amount of tears during the lifetime... It was so funny to watch the reaserchers talk about GALLONS of tears that are calculated to be cried out during lifetime of avarage person.
What? How could that study be possibly done?
Also, men might cry MORE but less.
Meaning when men do cry, it’s worth 20 cries of women’s
Women cry more but less.
In other words, their cries aren’t as tears-producing as men’s.
One possible explanation.
Men just aren’t as sensitive or emotional as women.
There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive or emotional at all.
Men & women are different
You said women cry more but less
Then you said men cry more but less.
Khm.
I think this is what you meant : that one of them cry more often but with bigger amount of tears, and the other cries less often but with larger amount of tears.
This is very individualistic, I think this has nothing to do with gender.
Well, tears, also appear as a response of the system to stress (release of anti stress hormones that fight back to too high levels of cortisol), as a reaction to pain (also physical, from baby age until adult age. Emotional, psychological, and mental pain (for example consequences of PTSD) are all processed by very same transmitters that process physical pain. In that sense emotional pain, to brain, is completely equal to physical pain, and knows no gender). And also, whole life is taken into account in the study, not only adulthood.
Yeah, I just said that…..
Look, men cry, yes
Women, cry, of course.
Women cry MORE for obvious reasons.
I don’t think men cry less because they’re holding it in. I just think, they don’t cry as much as women.
Men & women are different, so what? That’s perfectly fine.
No, study said that was a myth. There's only one thing. Women ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE SEEN MORE OFTEN. it's more socially affordable for a girl to allow herself that. Men are also often taught it's not what men do, so they either feel shame to do it in public or they believe it would seem too vulnerable and maybe not let them relieve the pain but create new one - social judgment.
Well you didn't say that exactly, you just repeated same sentence without specifising, but never mind, I got you. 👍
I dealt don’t think men are taught that.
I was never taught that.
I just think it is more NATURAL for women to cry
Rather than men.
Evolutionary, men crying wasn’t a good look for strength and dominance, especially when other women looking at a crying men were turned off by him.
Also, competitors finding him to be weak because he’s too emotional.
Men weren’t taught this.
Women weren’t either
It is what it is.
Well were. Lol it's so engraved in our subconscious and collective memory. What are you talking about? In more patriarchal societies that's even still a thing - until day of today.
I saw with my own eyes - girl, younger than me, a mother, laughing out her 3 year old son in public to shame him because he cries, and he is a boy. And boys never cry. (I wouldn't do this to a child or anyone but I am maybe different and more empathetic than majority of people in my screwed up mentality).
Also, I remember very emotional painful song by a male artist, from neighbouring country. He's Muslim and imam. But he's also singer. So he wrote this painful song to honour male pain that never can be processed with tears because then you're judged as you're male. So the song is called Rain prayer.
It goes : "I didn't cry from when I was 13. Men don't cry, mother then said. Men don't have right to tears. We lived back then in (name of city). God I plea you that now that I deal with this pain (apparently someone died to him), that you push rain cloud dresses above, to pour with rain heavily over this city. So that as I walk towards roofs of old part of downtown, that it seems it's rain, what is on my face, and that I can hide tears from a guest and from my enemy. I don't have right to show sadness because it's not bigger or more horrible than anyone else's sadness. But I plea you for rain at least, so that it hides me away and that my sadness belongs only to me. "
Needless to say, it was extremely popular among men back then when it got reliesed.
Just because you consider yourself person who never cries, doesn't mean avarage human is like that.
https://youtu.be/wUPm6xDjQZM
Try to observe the video and song. Lyrics are far more poetical and more hurt the soul of who listens, than what I described, but I think atmosphere that music creates will transmit what I missed in translation. I always feel like crying myself just listening to this song and I even don't know this kind of internal pain of restriction that he describes. Simply song is very very heavy and deep and human is empathetic so I understand.
(edit : this has nothing with Muslim culture. The country is Bosnia, where also chatolic and orthodox Christian live. Same type of theme, song and lyrics I know in Russian written by Russian male artist. He expressed pain in form of painful poetical lyrics and opera type of high pitched screaming. He's also very praised for that song there and in China. So that much about your knowledge of anthropology and our "history". Which is still true in some parts of the world, believe it or not. )
Usually it is something personal that resonates with a man to make him shed tears. Most of the time we bottle it up and separate tears from the situation because we are supposed to persevere through difficult things and come out stronger on the other side.
I don't understand those who do cry during a movie.
You know it's not really happening, it's a story and what you see are actors.
Even when you watch something super dramatic it could make you misty eyed but breaking down in tears is something you should have control over
Unfortunately, such bringing up methods, maybe you would like to call it toxic masculinity or however - got them to it.
For more clarification, you may check my replies to other comments further in the thread. :/
Each guy is different. Some men are very emotional, and some are just ice cold. I was never really emotional till two yeas ago when I lost my father. Now I am more than ever.
I’m sorry
Its hard for me to cry in my thirties but in my early 20’s i cried all the time with my ex girlfriend probably because my puberty is a late bloomer. Last time i cried was related to my fathers death but other than that I just have occasional tears of joy when I see something so beautiful it makes my eyes water
When I've cried... I usually just like to be alone and do it in private. If someone is right there watching me it kind of stops me from crying.
I don't want to be watched. If I'm alone I can let loose.
I rarely tear up in front of others.
If you have been dating for a long time then I would find that very odd, but if it's a new relationship it might be understandable, at least until he feels more open and comfortable.
We’ve been dating for almost two years now he teared up a bit once or twice but i haven’t seen him cry
Society has psychologically trained guys to control their emotions and not cry often but I don’t like crying period especially in front of people and I feel like I would be the same way if I was a girl
Yeah I don’t like to either but sometimes it just happens
But how do you know it's a consequence of society and social conditioning, rather than jus the natural psychology of a male?
What proof do you have?
I'm pretty sure were jus this way by nature
We do it alone. When my ex had a miscarriage I still went to work my breaks where spent in a supply closet crying. Than when I got divorced she told me not to let our son see me cry because it would make him feel bad. Alone is how I did it.
I’m sorry :(
Thank you
Because we don't have to try... We don't have anything to hold back.. were jus not that emotional... We only get sad if something really really really sad happens... But there's no way in hell we are gonna cry over a movie... Only a sensitive wuss would get upset about a movie
By the way I never had a dad... So your wrong about thinking it's "conditioned" for men to act tough... No it's jus in a nature... We would be this way if we never had any parents at all.. it's jus in our DNA and the nature of being male... It's cos we have higher testosterone and think with our brains instead of our heart
Sorry about the aggressiveness of my comment... I've jus been seeing a lot of this about wanting males to cry n it makes me feel kinda like masculinity is under attack
It is the difference in how boys and girls are raised. Girls are generally more cared for. I don't mean that in a malicious way either. It is also culturally shameful for a man to cry in front of others.
Told to deal with it and be a man from very young age. It can be a bad thin and a good think. Alway need in a relationship on parent to remain calm and collected. There will be times the he won't be able to hold it back anymore and thats when the woman needs to be strong and take his place as the calm and collect one.
Men... are harassed and belittled while growing up... if they show weakness... we have to learn to be "Tough" even if we aren't
I want to be tough too in that manner
I did not cry in front of my wife until the day mt father died which was 6 or 7 years after we met. Maybe I have cried in front of her twice after that.
Men often feel nothing. We can exist void of emotion. This is a good thing, it allows us to be rational.
Also stoicism is a feature not a bug.
Because women are so judgmental, for the survival of our species men have had to be stronger, not just stronger than women ever could, but stronger than they can even understand.
Why so surprised when we've always been hardwired that way?
I watch too many kdramas I guess
Personally I find it hard to cry, even when I'd like to. I think many men are the same in this regard
@Cherry234 it’s not weird that people can’t cry. Everyone’s got different emotions. Some express it by crying while some don’t express it by crying.
@Cherry234 Same. I saw a video the other day of a 9yr old girl who dived Infront of a car to save two infant girl but she died in the process of saving them... I forced myself to drop tears jus because I thought I should.. even tho I didn't really feel like it at all... Is that gay as fuck? Lol. Maybe I should only let tears come out if they want to (never). Instead of forcing them lol
Well I hope you wasn't walking out of the bathroom
Lmao I mean pulling up his zipper
That’s not weird most men only cry over a lost loved one or one of his serious long-term relationships has ended.
Because we are men
To quote Måneskin "I'm crying all my tears and that's f***ing pathetic"
Men know better than to cry in front of their girlfriend or wife.
We don't like to control ourselves but the world forces us to. I strongly believe instead of telling boys not to cry, it's better to teach them not to be a reason to cry.
Maybe he just isn't the type to get emotional during movies. Unlike me lol i sob often
Not everyone is a cryer, some people don’t like to cry and some people simply can’t
It shows a sign of weakness and sensitivity!
Which men are not supposed to have?
So we are taught as young boys.
We cry in solitary. Only in exceptional situations, we cry in public or in presence of someone.
The last time I cried was six years ago when I was 15. That's so common in men
Not weird pretty common. Provide him with non judgmental space where he can cry if he has to. Ask him, Babe, what do you think of guys who cries?
Thanks for like!
Yah we can! But you scratch my motorcycle I’ll cry like a baby.
It was the way he was raised. It was pounded into him.
Why don't you ask him?
I did
I don’t get it either
We've been taught that men don't cry.
As an emotional guy, I couldn't do it
You are reeeaaallly into your boyfriend.
This just made me cry
The weirdest thing here is why you wants to see him crying
Sadist lady
I don’t want to see him cry i was just wondering about male psychology
I think the biggest mistake that I see people make on here is always assuming the worst without knowing someone
Men replace many negative emotions with logic.
@EssenceOfLight or alcohol
Most men don’t cry or cry rarely
To other men (pigs), crying is a sign of weakness.
That's the stereotype expected from men.
Practice and good mental discipline.
No, that's very common.
most guys only cry when someone passes away
Men don't cry easily. difficult networks
I think he's normal.
Though, he didn't cry when you guys had sex the first time? Because I would have!! ... But maybe that's just because I'm a virgin.
@Jamie05rhs like you’ve put it too high on a pedestal
It's not weird.
No its not weird
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