Why do men act this way?

[Anonymous]

i go on dates with guys- usually they look like they want to run- some of them. I'm
a very pretty female who's also really nice caring and genuine. I duno if they're intimidated but
some get really rude. truth is, i am a great catch, but i dont think or act that way. I could be very
arrogant and talk about myself, and be a b*tch but im def the opposite. But the guys usually act
arrogant or act as if theyre so important or great or are mean to me or cut me off. I went on one date
recently which was horrible- the waiter was being dominant towards me and the jerk guy began
doing the same- he was crazy. I had a date recently, and he had lost his wife months ago. Ok yes it was sad, and i was sympathetic, but he turned it into a date where he acted so arrogant and kept
saying he wasn't EVER looking for a relationship. I wasn't really looking for one with him, but he
said that just to be mean to me. He also kept talking about himself, and was self absorbed. He wasn't
humble or nice.. and was being kind of a jerk just to be rude to me. I was nice and even had to
play psychologist almost and calm him down and be nice to him.

Its sad that he meets a beautiful kind woman and rather than be nice to her, he acts like a jerk.
a lot of guys are jerks to me and im really nice--why do men do this to really good and kind women
be jerks to them... but theyre nice to mean women or others.. most guys are downright cruel to me
i can't get the cruelty towards someone who is so nice and sweet...

are these men sadists? evil or sick inside? whats the point of being so mean to someone who's
really nice- why try to make nice people feel bad? by the way this guy wasn't good looking or
anything.. and he was older. im young beautiful and i could be a b*tch if i want but i hate being
mean to people n never would do that...

Updates

+1 y

for demonic troll people here-im a gorgeous woman and lots of guys want to be with me, usually doctors lawyers and successful people including celebrities like me a lot. so for sociopaths who want ot be nasty, im talking about jerks online who are creeps and assholes.. normal men are nice and how dare people use others evil actions to put someone down.. people who treat others badly are the bad people... I've dated doctors, lawyers and even male models before

[Confusedinthisarea]

Even though self-confidence is great.. I have to say its a little hypocritical of you call the guys your going out with as arrogant. I mean you spend a good portion of your description complimenting yourself.
My advice for you would be to take a step back and try to see if objectively. I'm not saying that those guys weren't being jerks, but from the way you're describing it you may be over-playing it in your head.
That being said, I could definitely be wrong. If you don't like the guys you've been going out with recently, go out with other guys. Maybe change where your looking.

[Confusedinthisarea]

*you're looking

[Asker]

thats not true at all im describing myself. and yes these guys act arrogant towards me.. and yes these guys are huge jerks.. I've been out with guys who are nice and it's rare. i met a guy last week who was very nice and respectful.. he was rare. lots of women who meet these guys say the same thing.. a lot of women in my area are actually lesbians and some say b/c of how crazy the guys are... lots of women can't even meet guys for this reason

[Confusedinthisarea]

I don't know, just providing my admittedly uninformed opinion. But I mean most guys aren't jerks, if it is something just with the area you could always start looking for guys further away. Sounds like a strange situation to be in.

[Asker]

i think its how dating is these days- women everywhere have the same experiences- most are worse. guys have similar ones too- crazy women rude women. its worse in the city im in but i hear the same from people everywhere

[shadowofgulash]

Sounds like they did the things they did out of spite. guys who have been put through the ringer by other women become bitter and more spiteful. it's how they release anger from past relationships or rejections to cope with. It's how some men are, and when an actual nice girl does come along they act rude against her as if they are getting some kind of justice.

[Asker]

yeah.. i agree.. that's what it seems they do- but why to the nice people? if i meet a nice person im so grateful they're a good person- i reward them and am extra nice to them. I dont get why they want to take their anger out on people who don't deserve it--do they see the nice women as easy targets b/c theyre nice? its strange.

should i just be more of a bitch and not nice.. b/c these people deserve it

[shadowofgulash]

They do it to the nice people because as you said, they are easy to target. if they were to go after others as mean and nasty as they are. it would end up as a screaming match. so they go after the good people, because they know deep down, those people won't respond in more negative tone. while they do deserve it. don't for stoop to their level. they are ignorant and bitter. leave them to be bitter and angry by themselves.

[Asker]

that's true--i just find it so messed up that they go for the 'nice people'.. its sad. How can someone be not so nice.. maybe more assertive? i have noticed that if u become a little more assertive, these men become subservient, but theyre mean to nice people.. its just not right but maybe that's how it is..

[WhereAmI]

If the guys you. date are good looking and could easily find another woman, they have no incentive to go out of their way to be nice to you. Not every guy is like this but maybe your drawn to the confident arrogant type of guy. If so you'll either have to put up with it or find someone with a different personality.

[Asker]

these guys aren't good looking- theyre in fact usually old weird socially awkward weird or ugly or fat. im the one who's young and good looking. im also not arrogant. these guys act arrogant around me and theyre not- some are putting up a facade to be assholes to me..

im young really beautiful and should be a huge bitch.. i should treat them like shit.. but im really nice.. and dont treat people like that. i dont get why they're acting so rude and weird..

[WhereAmI]

So based upon your description of them WHY do you even accept a date from them if you feel you can do better from what I'm sensing?

[Asker]

well i dont know what they're like- until i meet them. but i do meet them online- like craigslist etc. i dont expect the best people- but some of these people aren't the worst. some are desperate- i dont get the reasoning for being so mean to a woman just on a date.. it makes no sense.

[WhereAmI]

I hate to say but Craigslist is like the worst place to find a date from what I hear. Try someplace reputable like match. com and be a little more selective in how you vet people.

[Asker]

its same everywhere--cl, match.. same people. I've tried all the dating sites. there is no hope really. im just looking for a nice dinner to be honest- and a good time but i can't even get that- the guys are rude to be during dinner or other times.. im never even aiming for anything more anymore

[Asker]

i can't even get through dinner without the guy being a jerk usually. those kind of guys watn to leave right away b/c im pretty- theyre intimidated. others act all kinds of crazy ways.

[WhereAmI]

Something doesn't seem right. I know attractive women I'm their late 30s with better luck than you. Your going to have to start asking friends and family about yoir profile and situation to see how they can help.
Maybe you live on a remote area where it's slim pickings..

[Asker]

its not my profile.. once a guy meets me he treats me this way. most guys online are insecure and esp around a pretty woman and where i live. there are lots of women in my area who've turned lesbian b/c of the way guys are.. no joke..

[WhereAmI]

If you don't mind my asking what state/city or county do you live?

[WhereAmI]

Guess I shouldn't be surprised she magically disappears after trying to find the REAL reason why she can't find somine.

[Asker]

this is for 'nerdvana's' pathetic despicable lame ass comment.. rofl i haven't had relationships you stupid fuck? really? let's see now--millions of humans are in relationships from people who beat and kill their kids, to serial cheaters, sociopaths, adulterers, swingers, drug addicts, liars, mentally ill people, rapists, pedophiles, degenerates.. in LONG TERM relationships... and you want to try to insult a beautiful kind female and say she hasn't been in a relationship somethings wrong with her.. or any female..(which I have) regardless.. you are one fucked up lunatic.. get help fast you psycho piece of shit

[Asker]

i magically disappear? wtf.. what a pathetic comment.. maybe i had something to do, maybe i had to go to bed.. what im obligated to sit here all day like you? what a fucking creep

[UhDopeDude]

Because they don't like your company... Or don't respect you for some reason

[Asker]

they dont respect me--but why? b/c im beautiful? one guy said that once.. he kept saying 'I Dont respect you'.. makes no sense. im a beautiful kind woman... but people who are doctors lawyers, and decent moral people respect me... i assume they're jealous

[UhDopeDude]

Yea assume that

[truthhammer]

looks like what men do to bring a women down to reality.

id have to hear their stories.

[Asker]

down to what reality... that makes no sense

[truthhammer]

were you acting pretentious? or entitled?

i can't see for sure why theyd be assholes for no reason. they did want to chill with you rigth?

[Asker]

no theyre the ones acting entitled and pretentious--theyre mean to 'nice' women..
im trying to figure out why

[truthhammer]

i think during the begininng of all relatinoships there's a storming phase and theyre trying to set a blueprint to make it more comfortable forthemsvles.

i say stand your ground.

[Asker]

lol really.. you think so? it feels they are doing it for some reason. Do you think maybe theyre

1. intimidated, feel so insecure they have to put me down so i dont make them feel
like crap b/c of my presence/power
2. trying to pick a fight, or as you say establish something or who knows?
3. try to be a jerk or bring me down - for ego issues
4. try to be a jerk or asshole b/c they think that's how they can get a woman
5. try to break me... to date me- or really i think for their own ego

i think its any of those things.. and who knows what else

[truthhammer]

1. hmmm, not sure if its insecurity. pretty girls are assumed to have been spoiled with men throwing themsevles at them. as if she's the one dominant etc. so men compose themselves not to do too much or express how much his fond of them even. his intentions in this case is to stand out and come off like someone with a backbone.
george knows this too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b3QZ2F2Ktg

2. pikcing a fight is also a dominating position establishing move in my opinion. details would help how and what its about.

3. this one is easy, shows you won't disrespect or walk all over him. not giving you his power

4. men know a woman who can't be tamed, or shall i say wild and non devoted are useless and cancer.

i think i m pretty acurate, I've dated hot chicks and knew the game since highschool. i can honestly say when girls liked me, it was all intentional and you can make people like you by playing into how they perceive things.

anyway, prettier the rose, sharper the thorns.

[truthhammer]

the last sentence is why they are trying to establish their position so early.

prettier girls beleive it or not can really break hearts. beauty is a powerful thing... often a rich man is compared to a stunning woman.

[Asker]

yes.. that's so true.. all of it.. that's a good analysis really.
These men are doing all of these things- diff ones are and it's really sad
and maybe it is a defense mechanism on their part- b/c they don't want to
'fall in love' or fall slave to a pretty woman or her beauty. Either way all of it is
so backwards and messed up. But these same men will brag about how their ex
'stole from them', destroyed their apartment.. did drugs.. proudly and try to
dominate me.

one man told me he dated a girl pretty like me, but she was crazy but he put up
with her b/c she was 'hot'. well im hot and not crazy- and these guys act like
total assholes to me.. its sad. some just want to reject out of fear

[Asker]

yes--i see that totally--wow.. how they 'try to hold back' in fact, rather than being nice and sweet or even 'excited' or interested- they come off as they don't care or even mean/rude.
once i met a guy who kept saying 'YOURE A TEN!!! you're A TEN!!!" OMG I"D LOVE TO DATE YOU.. OMG... somehow we ended up fooling around- he then tried to get me to suck his d and i didn't.. and he never talked to me again. most guys I've noticed ONLY want to dominate me--either use or dominate

and yes pick a fight- some want u to say 'yes' to them about something or anything so they can establish some kind of control over u.. it never works with me. or they just get rude nasty mean.. its horrible.. none of it works.. these kind of guys are psychos to me

yes they dont want to give me any 'power' and they try to take mine too--its bad. basically by the middle or end of the date, they're trying to weaken me or its done with. its sickening b/c i believe in equality and happiness... being in the presence

[truthhammer]

I get all of what you just said. You being hot and having inner qualities is rare. These men are turned to deal eith how 90 percent of hot women are... entitled and in their own elite reality... no one can love with that. I also know hot chicks go through more sexual abuse and just being used... and they often end up using men for money since love is grim frm their bad experiences...

It's a shitty cycle for everyone but both are just trying to adapt and make it work...

Goodluck

[Touglyforfemales]

Why do so many people who claim to be good looking
always go anonymous?

[Touglyforfemales]

This has to be a troll.

[Asker]

well my picture isn't up anyway..

[Touglyforfemales]

Exactly my point

[Anonymous]

Those guys sound terrible.

[Asker]

they are.. but what makes men feel they can treat women badly.. for no reason.. maybe theyre hurting and want to hurt someone? jealous or insecure?

[Opinion Owner]

Well I'm not that kind of person but if I had to guess I think it may just be past relationships and it didn't go so well. They now have a poor view of all women and have negative treatment of them.

I hope you can find a decent guy who has a positive outlook.

[Asker]

oh yeah that's true- that could be one reason- there are probably more.. thanks me too.

[Blueeyes81]

What's the common denominator here?

[Asker]

also being mean to people is a bad shit character... so u blame victims too if people hurt them... you're sick.. again go away

[Nerdvana]

Have you had any seriuos relationships?

[Asker]

sort of but hardly.

[Nerdvana]

If I may be honest. I feel as if I'm not getting the whole story. Something seems to be missing. I think everybody's been through some bad dates. This seems like the extreme case where you can't seem to get anyone interested longer than the first or second date. In addition you've never really had a serious relationship. There has to be a good reason why this happening to you a lot

[Blueeyes81]

Exactly she's the common denominator.

[Asker]

oh really.. there are plenty of people I know who go on date after date and only meet jerks. I've also had relationships.. have you? you're an idiot.. there are bipolar women, men and crackwhores, thieves and murderers who have 'real relationships' there are women who beat men, bite them steal from them, destroy their lives, who have real relationships.. i guess those women are 'normal women' and somethings wrong with women who meet jerks.. you need some serious help... freak

[Anonymous]

After reading this I know why they run. I would to

[Asker]

men don't run from me and most of these 'men' are creeps online. you're an idiot.. and there is nothing wrong with what i wrote.. i feel sorry for you for being a jerk.. im talking about trash like you not normal guys--men who are great people actually like me a lot and i usually date doctors lawyers and successful people