I get insulted when my boyfriend says other girls are attractive?

Question

My boyfriend calls other girls attractive, sexy, hot sometimes and it makes me feel insulted because i am way more attractive than them.. He calls me sexy all the time but i still feel insulted when he says other girls are sexy. I don't say other guys are sexy infront of him.. I could do way better than him and he has the nerve to call other girls sexy!! I don't know what to do. Do i say something?

ksoma · Accepted Answer

other women do not magically become ugly to him just because he is dating you.
there are 7 billion people in the world. no matter how amazing you look, there will always be someone better looking.
even if they are not nearly as good looking as you, they can still be attractive, and men can not help but to notice attractive women.

lastly, he is not going home with any of them. he is going home with you. in bed that night while you have sex? he is thinking of you, and you are thinking of the girl whose ass he looked at 7 hours ago, convinced that is who he is thinking of, despite the fact that 40 seconds after she walked away from him, she was already so faded from his mind he likely could barely describe her, and 10 minutes later, is completely forgotten.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

He is not dating you because you are the only attractive girl in the world. When a guy is dating a girl, his eyes don't stop working. We see other girls and we can see them as attractive, arousing, provocative, alluring, etc. and that doesn't mean that he is going to leave you for him.

If the only way you can keep a guy is for every other girl in the world to be unattractive, then you will never hold a guy's attention. That is NOT what dating is about.

He should have enough sense to know that you don't want to hear about other girls being hot and you should have enough sense to know that repeatedly expressing your insecurities will probably eventually drive him away from you.

So. . . how would you like to handle this?

9mfeo · Accepted Answer

Well, it clearly bothers you so you should probably mention it to him. I personally wouldn't be bothered, but you are so that's the important thing. Frame it in a way that doesn't make you sound jealous: "it really hurts my feelings when I hear you say other women are attractive because it makes me feel like you don't value me." Or something to that effect. No accusations because that will only create an argument instead of a fruitful discussion.

Victorianne · Accepted Answer

Even those who love their SO will find other people attractive. That doesn't necessarily mean they'll cheat. Saying that though, it's quite disrespectful to voice his thoughts about which girls he finds " hot" and "sexy"

Personally I'd never make my SO feel uncomfortable by telling him which guys are ", hot" and ", sexy". I'd never put him in a position to feel insecure.

GiftShop · Accepted Answer

I would let him know how you feel.
It's one thing to know that someone is attractive, but he doesn't have to tell you.
Tell him you feel disrespected.
I would never outright just say to my husband "oh, that guy's hot"

Don't be in the mindset that you could do way better than him... You sound ridiculous. And if you actually think that, then do so.

rjroy3 · Answer

That's because you're jealous and competitive. The idea of him being attracted to other women makes you view it as competition. Him calling another girl attractive doesn't take anything away from you and further still. The way he treats you doesn't change. So why is it a problem other than your ego?

It'd be one thing if he went into detail how he wanted to fuck them and what he would do. Because that's just disrespectful. But simply commenting on the obvious isn't anything. If he's commenting on EVERY girl. Then tell him he doesn't have to point out every hot girl to you and that it bothers you when he does that. You want his attention when he's around you and not have a guy with eyes that are always wandering. That's normal. But so is noticing a pretty girl. Him becoming your boyfriend didn't suddenly turn him gay, with other women.

93stepsawayfromhome · Answer

Does he date these other girls, or have a desire to? Probably not. You're his girlfriend, and that's likely not going to change just because there are other attractive people in the world. You can ask him to not discuss that with you, but I'd rather have a relationship with someone who isn't afraid to tell me who they find attractive, I think I'd actually enjoy looking at other people and discussing who we think are the most attractive with my partner — that's just me though. But still, you should work on your insecurities.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say something. Like GTFO!

This guy is a jerk for commenting on other girls around you. I get he is going to find other people attractive. I'm sure you do too. But saying that in front of you is a jerk move.

He should have more respect for you than to do that.

SüßeJäger · Answer

You're in the right. Nobody in a relationship should do that just out of respect and courtesy.

You should say something. Maybe he just doesn't realize how much it bothers you. Give him the benefit of the doubt the first time. If he doesn't stop, go to a harsher step whatever that might be.

MissMcK · Answer

Say other guys are attractive and see what he does. Then if he argues call him out and name girls he has said to you. If nothing happens you shouldn't stress - plus - with that attitude you aren't any better than him.

Humping_Tornadoes · Answer

lol the fact that you are together doesn't mean that suddenly everyone else will transform into sexless mannequins or smth. You'll still find others attractive,

What you should do? Break up with him because you are acting like a pedantic self-centered bitch.

Mesonfielde · Answer

I dunno, I would prefer if my girlfriend wasn't so insecure that I wouldn't be able to discuss things like this with her. I'm dating her after all, not the others. Then again, if he doesn't value commitment, then who knows what's up.

Anonymous · Answer

He shouldn't say other girls are hot and sexy infront of you. I'm sure you find other guys sexy too but since you're a decent person you keep it yourself. Yes, say something , confront him he's a pig.

kaylaS91 · Answer

... sounds like you should break up with him. He deserves to be with someone a bit more mature than a girl who's supposedly over 18 years of age, but with the insecurities plus maturity level of a 13 year old.

the_rake · Answer

the power of assertive communication - let him know what emotions you experience when he engages in certain behaviours. you do this directly but non-confrontationally.

ninetynine · Answer

That's really insensitive of him. Talk to him about it, tell him how it makes you feel.

suseel_sushi · Answer

tell him that you're not a lesb and you're not interested in listening to that. if he really cares about you, he will get the message and act accordingly.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Yeah, break up with him, cause damn, you're a crazy *****!

godfatherfan · Answer

try stop being so insecure and petty. and if you asked him politely not to do it, then he does it, then call other guys sexy in front of him. My guess is he won't care since guys aren't so shallow.

Mimi_8 · Answer

When I was with my boyfriend we did this all time. We appreciated beauty together lol. It's not a big deal unless he starts putting you down.

SleepingSnorlax · Answer

I mean he could word it diferently and just say she is pretty  But you sound like you have to get over yourself as well

teawrecks · Answer

Please fucking leave him and never speak to him again. He deserves better.

serious · Answer

Of course I can understand and that will certainly be insulting to you, and his behavior is highly inappropriate and very disrespectful.

meatballs21 · Answer

Out of all the attractive girls in the world, he picked you, even with your conceited and toxic attitude.

MaiNameIsSunshine · Answer

I hope he dumps you for someone less vain and insecure (interesting combination though).

Tarvold · Answer

You should definitely say something. Not to your boyfriend though, but to a professional psychologist. Keep your crazy away from your boyfriend.

skeptic007 · Answer

question are other guys attractive too you cause if it's only your boyfriend than you have issues

riahriah · Answer

Why? He is a male of course he is going to find other females attractive. As long as he doesn't act on it your're fine. You sound very insecure.

forzando · Answer

tell him you don't appreciate it and feel disrespected

Anonymous · Answer

That's kind of mean are you saying your boyfriend is unattractive or compared to you he's unattractive and you should ask him why he always says other girls are attractive or sexy

Bards · Answer

That's normal. Jealousy. Work on that though.

JuicyBrain · Answer

You are the problem here.

apple24 · Answer

Oh your jealous!

Ialexwonderful · Answer

lol dont be

I get insulted when my boyfriend says other girls are attractive?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I get insulted when my boyfriend says other girls are attractive?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.