Bachellorette Parties... Are they really cheating and fucking up?

[Anonymous]

So I read a few articles
https://thoughtcatalog.com/hok-leahcim/2014/05/16-women-on-the-most-insane-thing-theyve-seen-at-a-bachelorette-party/

I was wondering if most bachellorette parties are like this? Do most women fuck/suck a stripper?
Does the bride usually get involved?

Would you be mad if the groom did the same thing, but with a female stripper?

Is this expected?

I'm kind of thinking that if this is what happens at the parties I refuse to get married.

[redeyemindtricks]

If yr girlfriend's party is at a CLUB, then, you have nothing to worry about. Clubs are SUPER rulesy, and they are pretty no-bullshit about following the rules, too. (Not because they have airtight morals, or anything... but, rather, because they understand that violent aggrieved boyfriends/husbands are bad for business.)

If it's a private party at a private location, then, there are no real rules other than the decorum/atmosphere of the party itself.
• If the girls at the party are classy women with respect for their relationships -- AND if they do not drink to crazy excess or use mind-altering drugs in these kinds of situations -- then, again, you have nothing to worry about. Class begets class, trust can be trusted, etc.
• If the girls at the party are... uh... less classy, or if they tend to get totally shitfaced, then, who knows what will happen and with whom. These situations can get out of hand pretty quickly, especially if there are one or two more aggressive women setting the tone and egging the others on to push the envelope of doing things they'll later regret.

As for how I know these things -- I've been to a couple of parties myself, with the aforementioned "classy" crowd.
As for the others... My husband was an exotic dancer for about 13 years. He was in revues, he worked at some clubs, and he did private parties, among other things. Ohh the stories that boy has to tell.

On the other hand, to be honest, if yr girlfriend is the type to hang with the less classy crowd -- or if she's the type to get shitfaced at parties -- then, well, mb you should question whether she deserves to be yr girlfriend, and *especially* whether you want to marry her.

__

In any case... This is simply a matter of trust between you and yr girlfriend.
I mean... this situation is more sexually charged than most, yeah. But, if yr girlfriend is hot, she's getting EVERY bit as much male attention -- and she has EVERY bit as much opportunity to capitalize on it -- pretty much EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY.
This is a hard thing for guys to understand, but, you have to understand it. If you can't trust her at a party... you probably can't trust her ANYWHERE. Either you have trust, or you don't.

That said, there are 2 things you should think about, here.

1)
How much does alcohol affect her judgment?

2)
Does she have wild, aggressive friends who could push her into doing things she doesn't want to do? (Sometimes, the most obnoxious girls set the tone of these parties.)

[Asker]

Good reply.
If you asked your boyfriend what the brides did in most of the parties he attended, what do you think he would conclude?

[redeyemindtricks]

Capsule summary:

• Grabby-grabby is normal, and at least *some* groping is more likely to happen than not. As far as that is concerned, I'd just say, deal with it. (The same would happen at a gentlemen's club for a bachelor party. More importantly -- In the big picture, seriously, who gives a shit.)
97 percent of the time, this is the limit of what happens.

• The worst-case scenario is if the answers to #1 and #2, above, are "a shitload" and "yes".
In this case... the essence is this:
Women can be pushy spoiled brats. Especially hot young women, who are, frankly, used to getting what they want.
Get a crowd of those together in the same place, and get them liquored up, and they can get VERY pushy.
Put them together with someone whose job is to entertain -- in a situation where there's no supervision, and where the definition of "entertainment" is fluid -- and you get a situation in which the GIRLS can pressure the entertainer into lots of things.
Partially it's the

[redeyemindtricks]

pressure of business -- he's there to entertain them, for money, and he doesn't want to disappoint. Partially it's the usual masculine pressure to perform (what guy would want to feel like he couldn't "perform" for a crowd of women?). But, yeah.

The worst of it happens when the WOMEN are pushing the situation further and further -- and that's the dynamic that can absolutely be driven by the obnoxious friends I'm asking about in #2 (who can TOTALLY CONTROL the vibe, if everyone is getting wasted).
And that can happen a lot more often than you think -- especially if the entertainer (s) have that whole masculine pride thing going on, where they couldn't possibly say no to something like that. You get me.

Even *if* the party devolves into something like that, though -- which is only like 3 percent of the time anyway -- it's still perfectly possible that yr girlfriend could sit out the, um, festivities. Again... trust.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm not getting married. Fuck that. There is a difference between trust and lust. I trust her to not do it. That doesn't mean she won't do it. I mean, for most guys, stick a pussy in their face and they will fuck it. I think women are the same way.

If I'm having a casual get together where we fish or something I would expect her to do the same... For what women do. Now if I'm going to a strip club then I can't be mad if she does too. If I touch the stripper then she can too.

I think you need to set up boundaries ahead of time. That's the only logical conclusion I can make to get out of this party without cheating.

[redeyemindtricks]

"I mean, for most guys, stick a pussy in their face and they will fuck it. I think women are the same way."

Well, it's not my job to un-convince you of weird ideas, but... really, dude, you should know better than that.

[slimstiffy]

wow. appreciate this ladies info. i have never been to a bachelors or bachlorettes party. the whole concept seems dumb af to me tough. why would you wanna do a singles thing right before you get married?

[snowangle]

I threw a bachelorette party for one of my friends. We had a spa day, got massages and facials, sipped on fruity cocktails, got dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, and had a sleepover at my house (no strippers). I had to make it pretty tame because the bride & groom's younger sisters were bridesmaids. I wouldn't have gotten male strippers anyway, but I regret not at least baking a penis cake!

[slimstiffy]

lol. thats one thing we dont have to worry about. where i come from, we dont do single gender bachelors parties. usually jist the young people dance, drink and talk and have fun together with the newlyweds. no duch thing as the girls and boys going to strip clubs separately. thats just weirf

[ThisDudeHere]

Would I be mad? What reason would I have to remain with that woman. No way am I I staying with someone like that.

By all means have a party but I don't think there is any excuse to go to a bar, club or let alone a strip club.

[Asker]

True, however, they must likely will never tell you what they did

[ThisDudeHere]

That just further goes to show how they're not worth it. I would expect to know.

[AleDeEurope]

I'm pretty sure most cheat... but if they cheat during a bachelorette party, they will cheat anytime too.

Knowing me and my trust issues, I won't be able to trust any girl at these parties, they're just there to fuck and cheat :/

[FakeName123]

If I learned one thing over the years its that women are as angelic as men. Aka usually they aren't.

Those in the article naturally are individual cases, but I am sure it happens more often than just a handful of times. There is a reason why many gay clubs don't like bachelorette parties coming there.

[Bandit74]

I wouldn't be surprised if they do cheat. I don't plan on getting married but I do feel bad for the guys who take the leap of faith only to get screwed over emotionally and financiallly.

[Rissyanne]

No more than men do at bachelor parties