Do you think a lap dance is cheating?

[Anonymous]

When answering, please note whether

1) you would be ok with your girlfriend getting a lap dance

2) what if you finished during the lap dance - is it cheating then? Would you be ok with your girlfriend finishing from a guy giving her a lap dance?

[Anonymous]

Seriously a lap dance! No way that is not cheating, and this is coming from a chick. Maybe if your partner went home with the dancer, now that cheating. lol. I see people who have issues with their partners going to strip clubs or wherever the lap dance is occurring, very insecure. Which is understandable in some cases, because when you are previously hurt you watch your back. But a lap dance is meant to be something casual and fun. Now, if you were at an "all nude" bar and getting a "nasty" lap dance with crotch in your face that would be crossing the line a little. Other then that, always give your best in a relationship, so if something happens you can look back and say well I did everything I could, and it just was not compatible to what she/he wanted. Therefore you can let him/her go out get there lap dance, and not worry. and by the way we are talking professional lapdances here, not house party sh*t lol

[Dollface-86]

So many things come into factor so I say it depends.

It is ok if you guys are in a group of friends and being silly. Because I think someimtes lap dances (not at a strip club) are silly fun things to do with friends in a joking mannor. But if someone is doing something to make the person get off from a lap dance then it isn't for fun. Its a sexual act, its cheating and totally not ok. I wouldn't want my boyfriend getting off to anyone but me. Not cool. And please keep in mind that getting off is a bodily function and getting off isn't cheating. It is more about what that person is doing that arouses the person sooo much that they get off. That is the part that's cheating.

[DivaMonae]

If it was then the husband and bride to be are already cheating on each other at their bachelor (ette) party.

[Spelunker]

do I think lap dances are cheating? I lean towards "yes". to me, cheating's not only defined by the specific act, but also by the intention. and if someone in a committed relationship intends to get sexual thrills from close contact with a stripper, that qualifies as an intention that violates the respect and boundaries of a relationship.

1. no.

2. "what if you finished during the lap dance." what do you mean? he had an orgasm? if so, whether or not a guy (or girls) has an orgasm without their partner involved does not automatically make it cheating. see the above paragraph about intentions.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

How on earth does one "finish" from a lap dance?

That doesn't sound right at all.

I view lap dances as fun, flirty things. Not a sex act, there's nothing about them that should cause someone to climax.

And are we talking lap dances at a strip club, or by some person we know outside of our committed relationship?

Because those are two very different sets of circumstances.

[Asker]

Why is it different to get a lapdance with a stripper vs. anybody else?

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Because getting one from a stripper is impersonal, and just a bonding experience amongst guys, it doesn't go further than that.

If your best girl friend is giving your significant other a lapdance and you don't know about it, something is wrong.

If she was doing it at a party in front of you, and it was part of a joke, then it's harmless.

[Asker]

OK second question: Would you be ok with your girlfriend giving another guy a lapdance? I mean, exactly what you get from a stripper at a strip club (with her only wearing a g-string), but to some random guy?

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Is this a male stripper at a strip club, or some strange guy she met socially?

If it's a guy at a strip club, I wouldn't care. There's no reason for me to feel threatened by that.

If it's some random guy she met, I'd have a problem with that. Because that's not about a lapdance, that's about her seeing someone for purposes of gratification.

Just like I wouldn't accept a lapdance from a random girl if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't want my significant other to accept it either.

[bittorment]

In my opinion it's not cheating. unless there's something going on between you and the guy that did it.

[1FastFC]

i agree with "waitingatthedoor" .

if my girlfriend did any of that she would be out the door so f***ing fast...

[Dollface-86]

Do if someone gave you a lapdance you would expect her to dumb your ass just that fast right?

[1FastFC]

I wouldn't go out and get a lapdance in the first place, what's the point in just getting blue balls? strip clubs and lapdances are like buying a pair of blue balls , makes no sense to me

[mrsvincenoir]

I agree with the others yes it is cheating and as 1fastfc said he would be out the door pretty f**king smartish.

[pearl1979]

I wouldn't be ok with it- lap dances are up close and sensual. so yes I do consider it cheating

[fish82]

Yes, it is cheating and No I would not be ok with my guy "finishing" to one!