Is getting a lap dance considered cheating?

[Anonymous]

In the last month I've attended 2 different bday parties that were held at a strip club. Question my Friends and I were discussing. Is getting a private lap dance a form of cheating? Why? And why not?

Cheating

Not cheating

[InfoBot]

It's not cheating if it's sanctioned by your partner. If she is aware that it is going to happen, is aware of everything that it might involve and is okay with it then it's fine. If she isn't aware of it then it's a deception. The acid test is to tell her and give her the chance to express how she feels about it. If you can't tell her then it's likely to be cheating, because you know she will react badly and don't want that to happen.

Let's face it, there is no such thing as 'a lap dance' in terms of what it might involve because it's not a generic activity. It can be a simple as a girl almost touching you whilst dancing, or as much as a girl all up on you and your hands on every part of her body. If you are touching up another girl, your partner doesn't know and would hate it then yes, it's cheating.

[Miristheiss]

If you are in a relationship with a woman than it is 100% up to her. If you getting your kicks from gawking at a live naked woman who is dancing on your lap offends her and violates her relationship boundaries than yes you've cheated. If she doesn't care than no.

Couples should communicate this stuff out in advance. If it violates her boundaries than you should stay clear of strippers. If you do it anyway, than don't be surprised if she breaks up and finds someone who doesn't make her feel the way you did.

Are you in a relationship? If so how did she feel about it?

[Anonymous]

Going to a strip joint and getting a lap dance while in a committed relationship is totally unacceptable. I have standards and boundaries in a relationship and if my man would go off and do such a thing then hell he has a lifetime of possibilities to keep up the behaviour because guess what - I won't be sticking around to continually put up with that shit happening on the sidelines.

If that's important to him then he can go 7 nights of the week but watch me disappear from his life in 7 seconds. I might sound like a prude but I won't ever compromise my integrity, morals, values and standards for any male out there.

[wolfcat87]

I love going on dates to strip clubs with my man and our friends!

It really depends on who the guy is with. If he knows it's cheating to her, he's cheating.

[MyAtlantis]

It is not cheating if she knows about it and she's ok with that. I would not accept that.

[Listening5]

Cmon atlantis, what is this sorry excuse for an answer?
If she's ok then its not cheating,,, what woman is ok with her man getting a lap dance and having boobs and pussy in his face. None. If she does, she ain't in it fully and dont care about u so its not even a serious relationship.

[MyAtlantis]

I agree.

[TGFH-Satan]

You just answered your own question with that.

[ChooChooHaha]

Yes. Cause you are putting yourself in that situation, and your intentions aren't proper. What do you think happens? Why else are you back there with a woman you've never seen naked before, and will never see this way again? It's not for the interior designs!

As long as she's also ok with it, and gets to go as far as you do in the future too, stripper or not, if she wants.

[ChooChooHaha]

Besides, it's adding insult to injury with your woman. You wouldn't be teased so badly you want to fuck that stripper brainless. Yeah, you're with your woman, she might get the sex, but you want to be attacking that stripper in every dirty, animalistic way you're thinking of then. I mean, how could you not? I have zero blame.
Which is why I have that stipulation above.

[intothenight13]

It depends on the boundaries that have been set by you and your partner. Do they think it's cheating? Obviously either you or some of your friends think it is or the topic wouldn't have come up. Bottom line is, all relationships are different and it is up to you and your SO to determine what you would consider out of bounds.

[SirRexington]

I actually was invited to a bachelor party a few years ago, couldn't go legally cause i was underage at the time but i had to explain that it wasn't my scene.

I wouldn't allow my girlfriend to have a male stripper show up to one of those showers either where its her last night to be "free" or whatever.

[Too_Damn_Tall]

This is an opinion based issue. Do you feel guilty? Yes? Then it is to you. No? Then you don't see it as cheating. The bigger issue is does she? Is she upset? Have you told her? If you feel the need to hide it, then the answer is a resounding yes, and if she's upset about it, it's a yes yo her, and that's most important.

[Kaneki05]

It is not cheating cause you and the stripper don't actaully do anything physical plus this was at a party held in a strip club. Some can look attractive but longs if you don't do anything with them it is not cheating.

[Kelliecoxs]

No way i give lap dances at the club on a sat night lol some girls dont like me all over there boys but hey i get off on it grinding other girls boyfriends and the occassional bj behind the girlfriends back x

[cess101]

Ask yourself if that was your girl getting a lap dance from a half naked guy in a thong would that be cheating?

[TheUglyMan]

No it wouldn't

[EpicDweeb]

If he is voluntarily putting himself in a position to be lusting after some other woman then that is cheating. It's a mental lack of faithfulness and therefore mental betrayal of the relationship.

[BroadSideOfABarn]

Communication is key. Ask them what they feel comfortable with. If you intentionally didn't tell your partner you got a lap dance, I would consider that a big negative.

[Chaz269]

It's only cheating if your significant other feels it's cheating. Everyone sets different boundaries. If they don't, they should or bad things will happen and they can only blame themselves.

[Rich0608]

Did you have sex with the girl? Did she give you her phone number and now you're dating her on the side? Best guess is no, and no. No = not cheating

[bride-2-be]

No harm in it as long as that’s all that happens! I would be mad if I found out from my SO friends this had happened and not from his mouth

[Chonie07]

It’s not cheating but it still shouldn’t be done out of respect for your partner. I would be upset

[Tomblebee]

Withholding information that is relevant to your relationship...

[DoowaDiddy]

Not if sig. other knows about it and is okay with it.

[zagor]

No, not in the least. I wouldn't even consider going to a prostitute cheating as there it is a business proposition.

[Pamina]

As long as you're okay with your girlfriend going to a male prostitude...

[zagor]

@Pamina I didn't say I would go to one, or that going to one while in a relationship shouldn't offend the partner, I'm just saying it's not cheating.

[Pamina]

Cheating is defined by whether it's betrayal or not. If your girlfriend is not okay with you having sex with someone else, it won't matter to her if it's a prostitude or anyone else.

[LegateLanius]

That depends on what boundaries you have decided on in the relationship.

[rahul_24]

If your girl is aware then it's not. If you didn't tell her then yup

[mrsterlingarcher]

I feel like lap dances are stupid. Worst form of teasing. It kills me.

[najekim]

All a lap dance is, is a woman expertly flirting with you for her pay.