Is it a bad thing to be someone's "Trophy Girlfriend"?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend who is 33 told me I am his trophy girlfriend after I asked him why he always insists on buying me new expensive outfits everytime we have a function to attend. (I'm 20) At first it was nice but I've never been overly comfortable receiving stuff I didn't pay for. I told him I didn't need anything new and he said "You're like my trophy wife only my girlfriend. I want to show you off."
I wouldn't mind so much if I thought he and his friends who are at these functions thought any less of me. Like I'm using him. Should I be concerned now that he's just using me or just accept the gifts?

[Guy83]

No... he's using you. I assume you're probably sleeping with him. Basically he is calling you an object, a cool accessory. He tell's his friends "I got this hot girl, you've gotta see her she's really hot"... He thinks that you are a symbol of his success in life because he believes that pretty women come with financial success. The problem is... that it's an emotionless relationship from his perspective. Of course I'm breaking 'guy code' by telling you this stuff, but you seem like a nice innocent girl. Get out of this relationship, unless you are just looking for a man that will provide. If that's the case, just make sure you stay hot and are always on point around him and you should have a problems. Girls don't start aging till 26, but you can start Botox then to prevent frown lines.

[Asker]

Haha thank you for all that it helped a lot actually.

[BarefootJB]

Basically what he's saying is he's surprised he got someone as hot as you and he wants everyone to know your his, and he takes good care of you. Not always a bad thing but everyone has different taste as far as style, he apparently likes expensive. So he's going to naturally try and get you what he thinks you look best in. So in a sense you Are his trophy and he is proud to call you his.

[RachelBrigs]

This is a man who is looking for an ego boost.

His ego is gonna come before you, first and foremost. If at any point you stop feeding his ego for whatever reason, or he finds someone else who will do it better. You'll get old to him, your glow will wear off. When things go bad he will look elsewhere.

I'm just speaking from experience. A guy should like to show his girlfriend off to a degree, he should be proud that she's so beautiful, but more so than that he should be admirable of her character.

[Jupiter35]

I would take that as a compliment. Do you know how hard it is to make a man pay for dinner? Lol. He is after your looks. I would accept the gifts but unless you want someone to want you for your heart, this guy is not it. However, he is a good experience for you. Take it and use him back. You told him you don't feel comfortable and he didn't care.

[Asker]

Thank you

[vonasaurus]

depends. a trophy wife/girlfriend is basically arm candy, a woman who typically has nothing to offer but her looks (at least from his perspective).

he's almost definitely using you~ you deserve a guy who will appreciate the whole package.

[BellePepper]

Well, he values you for how you look, how other people think you look, and how your appearance somehow gives him status.

Is that someone you want to be with?

[Asker]

I guess not

[BellePepper]

Then it's bad for you.

[Asker]

Yeah thank you

[BellePepper]

Good luck

[MrAtticusLebowski]

Gray area but it seems like a red flag if you don't plan to stay at a level of attractiveness to be his trophy.

Your looks are essentially buying you these outfits.

[Asker]

I think it's just I feel like my only choice is to let him dress me with stuff he's purchased. I wouldn't mind it so much if it didn't feel so forced. He just doesn't get that oh well Thank you

[Elarra]

Usually a trophy wife is someone that a guy wants to just show off like 'Look what I just found. It's better and newer than yours.' Most likely, he sees you more as an object than a person who should love.

[Zendrya]

I don't see how he would be using you if he is the one buying you gifts... That could just be the way he shows love. That's how it works for some people

[posted]

Like someone said, gray area.. But 33 and 20..
Trophy... Yeah not a great sign.

[AynonOMouse]

He is too concerned with what other people think in my opinion. I personally care more about how a woman dresses when she is at HOME for me, not so much as to impress other people.

[akadatank44]

I think you shoukd end it if he treats you like an object which he is. Find someone who loves you for you. Not use you as a hot girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think it is a bad thing.

Also, would you like to help on my question:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2125027-this-married-young-lady-told-me-i-am-attractive-would-date-me-if

[Anonymous]

Just keep in context of how he treats you overall. If you are just a trophy, he'll grow bored and you'll notice you're collecting dust on the shelf. If he treats you as a person, you'll feel he wants to get to know you and connect.

[NatashaJ]

Why the hell are you with someone who is 13 years older then you?

[Asker]

Because I'm young and stupid enough to fall for someone that much older. I'm learning now

[NatashaJ]

Well I don't think your stupid, you can easily walk away now. Before its goes too deep in the relationship.

[Sweetie3423]

Well you know he is attracted to you but I would be concerned if he truly cared for you being you.

[YourName123]

whoa, why complicate a good situation. Would you prefer if he was not proud of you. Like if you were a "grenade". Geesh, 99% of women would give their left arm to have this "problem".

[Anonymous]

He's saying he's proud of you.

That doesn't mean you do or don't have a good emotional connection. Just that for itself.

[Anonymous]

The problem with that is when he would find a better girl he would dump you. If you gain some pounds ir look tired a days he would always complain.

[Anonymous]

Just deal with the guilt. Free expensive stuff is worth it.

[HappierThanYou]

yes. it is bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Yeah that isn't a good term sweety

[blondfrog]

As long as he is also your trophy boyfriend.

[beefcakebradybatson]

No, because I'd be a trophy boyfriend !!!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like how a cult lures people in to me