He cancelled our date because of his mother... is this a typical thing?

[vettech123]

Okay, so I've been dating this guy for a while now, and more recently he has been cancelling because of his mother making last minute plans. At first it was something to do with helping his father install cabinets at his sister's house. Then his mother threw him a "family only" graduation party when he graduated from college. Now it is almost Christmas, and today was the one day his mother didn't have anything planned for their family, so we decided to go see the new Star Wars movie. I just got a message from him cancelling on me because his mother has planned yet another family dinner that he absolutely has to attend. He claims he tried to get out of it, and that just mad his mom even more pissed. Am I just dealing with a mama's boy, or is it possible I am dealing with a mother who doesn't want to give up her son to another woman?

[Anonymous]

Cancelling on anyone unless your in a last minute emergency situation or someone is sick.. is rude. The fact he continues to cancel for pretty dumb reasons like installing cabinets is just weird. To me it seems like he's looking for excuses or he's just weird. Don't waste your time

[Marshmello_22]

The two options you have are the exact same haha.
A mama's boy doesn't belong to any other woman besides the mama. I suggest you stay on her good side but also I think you should ask him if it's always going to be like this.

[AnyaKarun]

At first I was like "awwww"
But now he sounds like too much of a Mama's boy, might want to talk to him bout that

[DidDesiDooThat]

I usually like family oriented men, but he sounds like mamas boy lol

[vettech123]

I agree, I like a family man, but I think you're right about the mama's boy thing. Have you ever dated a mama's boy?

[DidDesiDooThat]

Well im a mamas girl 😂 and i'd turn down a lot for her, so thats how i know that he's one. But no i usually fall for guys who are distant from family. Sucks, cause i prefer someone family oriented like me

[Kasper_sef]

i think it might be the latter
its probably the overly attached mother

after all your family should come first what he should do tho is to introduce you to his family and bring you along

[vettech123]

Well, I've considered both factors... I mean he is the youngest, and the only son... I just want to be put first for once.

[Anonymous]

how dare he do something for his mother when his mother has been there for all his life and you just came into it like a few weeks ago?

[vettech123]

I don't have a problem with family time, but I deserve to see him too. And how dare you! You don't know our history! We have known each other for about three years now, and have been dating for about 3 months. Don't be an asshole when you only know half of the situation.

[nckm_]

I’ve had the same situation in my past relationships. My opinion is, from someone who values family, if he said he would be there and made plans with you, then he had better be there and on time because being late is just inconsiderate. Because at the end of the day he is dating you for a future in hopes that he can invite you into his family, so him prioritizing his family over you seems ridiculous. Especially since, you guys are potentially hoping for a future together. If someone does not keep their promise, that shows you where their priorities are. In a relationship and hopes for a future, it’s important you set boundaries in the family because you’re both adults and can make your own decisions. No one is forcing him and if his mom is he needs to stop baby sitting her. I dated a guy whose mom was like that. It’s manipulative and toxic. He should have more respect for himself, although it’s easier said than done.

I’m sure his family wouldn’t like it if he had made plans with his family and canceled last minute… so they should understand. These plans are all last minute so he does not need to be there. My family has events all the time and if it’s last minute I told them I already made plans. They can either be mature about it or they can complain. If his family really wants him to grow up and be his own person they should understand. If they don’t then their relationship may have to look differently in the future. Boundaries should not be compromised. They are boundaries!

[RyB3y]

That's not good. If he has plans with you he should honor them (with the exception of emergencys). Honoring promises is a huge part of building trust in a relationship

[pshi25]

I have a similar complex in my life, but I'd give up momma's plans for my woman if I had one. Sounds unpleasant.

[enis_Penvy]

I'd be more worried that he is making up excuses not to be with you

[vettech123]

See, I wasn't even worried about that until now...

[enis_Penvy]

Sorry but that's the first thing that came to my head. I've seen way too many guys do it to too many girls. I have no idea if it's happening here but the fact that he's cancelling a lot-regardless of reason he provides-sends up a red flag that not is all as it seems

[Anonymous]

This is why women often ending up hating their mother in laws. My boyfriend did the same, then I told him it wasn't fair on me, and if he was gonna continue choosing her over me then I couldn't be with him. His mother should respect YOU, you made plans, and she should NOT make him cancel to do something stupid like that AND not even invite you. She sounds like a right bitch

[10dsw]

No you're dealing with a guy who has lost interest in you lol.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Most likely the latter, thats how my boyfriends mom is a lot.

[SovereignessofVamps]

Mama's boy... I think you should leave him alone. Those guys can have serious issues.

[Browneye57]

Big red flag. Mommy is more important than lover. Egads.
NEXT!!

[Daynada]

Haha! Sounds like the Mom doesn't want to give up her son but sounds like he is a really good son at the same time. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Mummys boy. As if he wasn't then he'd have got out of dinner as technically you have plans first

[jman46241]

I think he's making excuses.

[mistixs]

it depends on his culture probably.

[HoneyButterCup525]

Mama's boy. Next guy...

[ColinHarvey]

I'd just cancel my mother.