Jealous because girlfriend is snapchatting other guys?

Okay so she's going to college next year which is great I'm super happy for her and she made a group chat and met a bunch of new people but ever since then she started snapchatting a couple different guys which I don't really understand because she has me. It's been constant for the past couple weeks and I brought it up once a little bit ago and she thinks that I don't trust her but that's not what its about. I feel like she would feel the same way if I was doing that but she doesn't know what jealously feels like because I dont snap any other girls out of respect for her. I know if I brought it up again she would probably say something like "do you not want me to make friends?" or something like that. And again thats not what its about, i think occasional snaps are perfectly fine but when its constant especially when she has a boyfriend I just personally dont think its right. What should I do?

Updates:
Okay so just to update this I completely trust her which some of you are saying I dont, its that I dont trust these dudes. Pretty sure she and I both know what their intentions are so there's no point of even letting it get to that point so why talk to them in the first place?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • An important thing in relationships that A LOT of people don't understand are sacrifices that you make to make your partner happy. Not only that, but respect. She needs to respect the fact that it bothers you that she frequently snaps other guys. If you're not snapping with other girls for her sake, she REALLY needs to appreciate that and do the same for you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching lens, here are my thoughts.

    I agree with you that there's a difference between meeting new friends and Snapchatting the same couple of guys over and over. BUT, if she doesn't see anything wrong with it then you two might just have different irreconcilable views. What's more, you must deal with the fact that she's going to college and will see a whole, new experience. This will likely create more strain with more Snapchat and more new friends. All to say, this 'problem' is bigger than the current Snapchat deal.

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What Girls Said 10

  • she's starting at a new college she must be nervous about not knowing anyone you know pre new school jitters. she is mostly likely feeling more confident and excited about going after meet people that go there. let her get to have that experience. if it's too much snap chatting have a conversation with her not an argument or telling her she can't do it. just tell her it bothers you a bit and feel her out. but try to see things from her side it's a new chapter and she's excited so try to join in on her excitement for her

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  • One thing you have to remember is that she is your girlfriend, not your wife. Therefore you can't tell her what to do, but at the same time she needs to equally respect your desires as well. Even if you won't do what she is doing now, and you never done any of that before the point is you are responsible for what you feel and how you approach this situation.

    She is allowed to make friends and do however she pleases within reason. But you need to control that jealousy, or don't be in this relationship. What I believe she needs to do is put an equal amount of effort with you as she is doing on snapchat. But if your becoming insecure due to her speaking to mainly guys, then it's your call. She isn't going to stop. However, I see this as both your insecurities as well as you feeling emotionally neglected. I believe that you taok to her one more time and this time reword jealousy with lack of emotional bonding will help her realize where she is failing and you lacking. Once again, you cannot force her to stop speaking to guys. Let her handle her affairs and you need to handle yours. But if it ever comes to a point where it crosses the line, then she either cease contact with them or your going to have to break up immediately.

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    • Update: Regardless of what Asker, she made the choice to talk them knowing this [I'm just going by what you said] is what they are or could be after. If she's entertaining them, then again, why are you still hashing over it instead of doing something about it? You either talk to her about it, dump her if she continues after you said no, or deal with it. Not trying to sound mean, but this is not our issue if you allow this.

  • You are so right! She would react the same way, actually worse, if she was in your position. Shshh, I hate that. Try and tell that it's not about not trusting her, its about you feeling unspecial since she already has you and yet she's talking to other guys. I always find it funny how people in relationships still need opposite sex friends. Like wtf, what is a guy and girl supposed to tall about? The weather? Fucking no. They'll always be someone flirting. I have experience in this, guys never wanna be just friends with girl. Only a handful might be okay to. You gotta be straight with her, if she doesn't understand and pulls the "you don't trust me, you don't want me making friends, their just friends don't worry about it" card on you, that just means she's double minded, which is never good in a relationship. by the way, you don't talk to other girls while having her, do you?

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    • thanks for backing me up!!!

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    • Its alright.
      Im over it.
      And thanks a lot. You say you were with your boyfriend for 6 years. That means you started at 14. That is so sweet. It gives me hope. I wish you and ur man all the best as well

    • @lord_chilled thank you so much

  • Dude, just because they have penises doesn't mean she's going to bang them. It's very possible to have friends of the opposite sex with no feelings and/or attraction.

    Say you were dating a bi girl. Would you be uncomfortable with her having any friends at all?

    Anyway, bottom line: I understand you're jealous, but the more you bring it up to her, the more you risk pushing her away.

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    • No offense, but you are a bit naive and too quick to assume everyone is friendly and only out to make new ones. Guys are after girls for relationships and sex, period! I am sure he can trust her, but he can never trust them! All it takes is for them to have a little fight and those other guys are the first ones she talks to and they start to brain wash her into thinking her boyfriend isn't any good, she needs to leave him, he doesn't respect her and so on. Because of those "friends" she is now second guessing her relationship. Next thing you know she is meeting up with one of them "just to talk." Emotions get out of hand because the friend plays the game and becomes this open armed shoulder to cry on. One thing leads to another, and the next thing you know she is calling her boyfriend crying because she just had sex with another guy!

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    • There is no direct connection.
      But if she is spending a lot of tike snapchatting with other guys, that will raise concerns in her boyfriend.
      Physical proximity may be a guys number one fear but, other factors like spending time matter too.

    • Holy shit you guys, I have like 40 notification from this back and forth tennis match, LOL!

  • Be chill about it. Trust her until you have proof not to. Guy friends are goo to have, let her live a little.

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  • What sort of "Snapchats" were they? Were they like flirty ones just to these guys or normal fun ones everyone can see? If she's flirting with other guys before she leaves to college I doubt she will stay faithful. If it's innocent with everyone then you're just being overly sensitive

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  • Omg, she made friends! Someone call the cops!

    If it's not about you not trusting her then what is it about? Because it sounds like you either don't want her to make friends or don't trust her to...

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    • Most guys on snapchat send nudes to women.

      And women send nudes back.

      Lol do you really think women who are dating only send dog filters to their friends on SC, and are innocent and sweet.

      To be honest she probably wants the big dick dude who wrote this question.

    • @Loadedgamer All I ever send on snapchat is either pictures of my dog, or of food 😂 Literally never been sent a nude on there.

    • @Loadedgamer
      I snap boys on Snapchat all the time and I have never sent a nude.
      Not all women are sluts.

  • errr yeah i don't think relationships like that usually last through college... sorry

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  • Iunderstand You but if You don't talk to her about it again than You can do anything. Maybe chat with girls so she gets what your talking about.
    Sorry You're going throw it... :/

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  • You should def feel weird about this! She doesn't realize how lucky she is to have a boyfriend who respects her by not talking to tons of girls on social media like my boyfriend does -_- I tell him I dont like it but theyre "just friends" when you are in a relationship you dont need a lot of "just friends" of the opposite gender I think... and if she is constantly talking to them then be strong and tell her straight up you dont like it. I know how guys try to start talking on snapchat... they think they can get away with stuff on there cause it disappears...

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What Guys Said 10

  • Sorry, I totally agree with @rushthesand. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Once she is in college and around other guys all the time she will simply love the attention and making all kinds of new friends. You know as well as I do that those other guys are only chatting with her for one reason! Your girlfriend is still in that giggly innocent phase and hasn't realized yet the hole she is digging. All you can do is be the best boyfriend you can be so she has no reason to venture out and start finding another guy more interesting. I know this pisses you off and you have every right to voice your displeasure, but the more friction you cause the more likely you will push her away.

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  • You have good reason to be concerned. Tell her what you feel and dont puss out. Be strong, a bit pushy if you have to.
    She is just taking advantage of you because you dont speak up.
    If she is not understanding and reacts negatively, you are with the wrong woman, buddy

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  • If you have a gut feeling something isn't right, then something isn't right!!
    Work on finding a replacement before your caught off guard and completely broken hearted.. twice I've had that gut feeling and both times it was right!!

    She is working on an upgrade, nothing you can say or do will stop it.. prepare now.. make the first move to replace her..

    Trust me brother, I've been there a couple of times and boy did I look stupid. All while I was saying to myself "it's nothing" and "if you say anything you'll just look controlling"..

    Take control and move on..

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  • Gonna need a little bit more details, like does she snapchat with them while you two are together? Do you know what type of snaps they are and what they talk about? Just tell her how you feel about this and ask how she would feel if you were constantly texting other girls.

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    • Yeah ill say that and I don't know once in a blue moon she opens them when I'm around but most of the time she kinda hides it because she knows it bothers me which I dont understand because if she knows it bothers me then she shouldn't do it?

    • Okay that hiding shit is fucking suspicious, I mean if she know that it bothers you then she should be open about what kind of messages they are.

    • That's what I'm saying

  • start snapping other girls. just do it.

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  • A short stoy, my friend has a hot girlfriend, he used to be really controlling at the begging and he still kinda is, she has a job and he hates it when she talks to other men or texts other men, he made that pretty clear many times and lied and fought with her, and because of that she never talks to other men, she never texts or responds to other men htting on her becuase she knows she will lose him and he will get mad.

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  • Just be happy she's not fucking a black dude... yet.

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  • Careful man it sounds not good lol

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  • As long as cock don't go into the vagina you should be fine

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  • Stop being fag man.
    1) she will cheat on you to an extent. The degree I don't know. Snapchat is the platform for cheating nowadays
    2) She's testing the waters. She probably hasn't done anything yet but all these guys giving her attention added to the fact she will be nervous to start will be a recipe for disaster.
    3) remember one thing even the nicest of people cheat. You might think your girlfriend is in capable but there's a good chance she will just make your decision on your future now

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