He wouldn't date me because I'm black?

I started talking to a guy but noticed he started becoming kind of distant. When I asked him about how things were between us, he admitted to me that I'm very beautiful and sweet, but he just can't date a black girl.

I've never been rejected before and the fact that I was, only for being black, really upsets me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It happens, hun. People have certain preferences. That being said, he shouldn't have told you that. It's not as if you can help it. And if you were pretty and sweet, he should have overlooked the fact that you're black. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that.
    P. S: There's nothing wrong with being black. :)

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    • Thank you so much. It definitely sucks but that just shows he is not the guy for me. I know there's someone better out there for sure!

    • Glad I could help. Good luck.

What Guys Said 10

  • Everyone has there preferences. Anyone has a right to it. Soo being rejected for any reason is better than being cheated on or lied to.

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    • Never being rejected for your "race"..

    • @JDavid25 well life never was all about sunshine and rainbows plus I've been rejected for being too nice once. You know, a stupid reason buuuuuuut. Hey. What can you do. It's there problem not mine.

    • Yeah that's true.. Lol..

  • Wow I'm sorry to hear that. Not dating some based on them being a certain race & getting rejected because of it is really out of line. That dude really screwed things up for the both of you. It's better to find someone else who's more worthy of being boyfriend material & not a fake guy who claims to love you without any proof. I'm black as well & I know what these racial tensions feel like too.

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  • That's how it be.. It's pretty sad that we live in a society where this happens but, yeah.. It's not yo problem it's his.. As long as you know that you are a beautiful "Black" woman.. But, I feel you.. Ion like ish like that either..

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    • Thank you! Yeah I don't like it either but I'll take this as a lesson learned in case it ever happens again

  • Talk about being a jerk that's not for him to not date you because your black

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  • That sucks but guys get rejected all the time so now you know how it is xD. As for the race part usually someone won't reject you just for your race but some people will, I've heard Black girls say they dont date "White boys" so it goes both ways.

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    • Yeah I don't get that because I love dating outside of my race. I understand people have their preferences, but I just don't get how you can look at someone and only see their race, not the qualities they have

  • That sucks, maybe it was a blessing that it ended before it started.

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    • Thanks that's what I've been wondering too! I'm glad things ended early on

    • Clearly its not because he doesn't find you attractive. He might be intimidated b trying to navigate a different culture or a perceived difference in culture?

  • Just move on, was he white?

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    • He was Brazilian. But I do know that's common in Brazil, there are some people who don't really like the "Afro-Brazilians" which are just black people.

    • Well Brazilians come in all colors

    • I know, but there is also a huge controversy over the White (and tan) Brazilians v. Afro-Brazilians

  • that is rude of him. no one should not be treated differently due to their colour. fish him.

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  • I wouldn't date someone that is Black either. I don't want to deal with all the racial BS that I would encounter and every time I have a different opinion about some things, I don't want to get accused of being racist.
    Now let the down votes and accusations begin. lol
    The other and main reason is that I'm just not attracted to people that aren't White or Hispanic. Sorry.

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  • I'm sorry.

    Not everyone will be like that. I'm so white I shake hands with my dad and I'd date a beautiful and sweet black girl in a heartbeat if I were single.

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    • Aw you're so nice! That definitely cheered me up so thank you!

What Girls Said 12

  • Well at least he was honest. You don't need anyone like that in your life anyway. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving life. Find someone who will appreciate you for you (but look for people who will fetishize you and try to pass it off as love). I wish you the best.

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    • Aw thank you! I appreciate your support. That made me feel a lot better. I'm dusting myself off now as we speak lol

    • That's good. You're very welcome 😊

  • At least he didn't try to have sex with you just for the experience or "date" you but hide you from everyone just because you're black, and then dump you because you're black and his family would never really accept it. That happens so, so much that it makes it hard to trust a white person who is expressing interest, really. It's sad, but race matters to most people regardless of what they say, and you have to be more on your guard when you like someone outside your race, especially when it's a black/white thing.

    A lot of people don't get it, but I think being rejected based on race is the worst rejection you could get, lol. Like, you can tell me anything else is wrong with me--too fat, too weird, too introverted, anything--and it'd be better.

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    • I see you say he's Brazilian, but same thing. I am way more suspicious/distrusting when a non-black person approaches me than not.

    • Yeah I felt like that was the most insulting form of rejection. Because the whole time he was looking at me for my race and my color, not even the personality traits I have. I'm not gonna lie, that hurt my feelings. But he's a jerk

  • I'm sorry :/ he has his preferences I guess. At least you dodged a bullet there.

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    • Yeah that's what I'm telling myself, it just sucks because I feel like he didn't even look at me for my character or who I am.

    • That just says something about him as a person, not you :/
      Hey you have a pretty good track record! Never been rejected before this? That shows he's obviously missing something

    • Aw thanks so much! See I kinda wanted to say that to him to show him he's missing out but I felt like it wasn't worth it. But thank you for being so sweet. At first I felt like I wasn't good enough but now I feel much better and I see I'm better off without a guy like that

  • you can't change people's mind set am sorry you have to go through that hopefully you'll meet someone who will love you as you are

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  • Maybe he has people in his life who are racist, maybe he fears social reproach, maybe he's just not attracted to black girls. We all have our preferences. Rejection comes in all colors, shapes, and sizes.

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  • well fuck him, then. his prejudice is his issue, not yours bb

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  • You're better off without him. What a jerk!

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    • Seriously! He was soooo cute lol but I see that means nothing when he's an asshole

    • Yeah. Kinda sounds like this guy I was dating, he was honestly so perfect until he started making all these homophofobic comments

  • my dear. I really have no words. sorry. just move on with your life.

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    • Thank you! I was sad at first but all of your comments have made me feel better

    • I'm also black it really touched me

  • If the can't see past the race thing that's his lost and you can do so much better than him

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  • his loss! 🙄 by the way he is an ass!🙄

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    • Yes girl he totally is!

  • you deserve better

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  • I think there is more to this.
    I know you are upset and you should be, but ask him for more details. Why would he call you beautiful and sweet, then says he wouldn't date a black girl? There is something he is not telling you.

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    • Should I ask him for more details? I already feel embarrassed and rejected enough honestly lol. At this point, I feel like if that's how he feels there's nothing I can do to change it ya know

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