Is there a reason why my black boyfriend refuses to date a black girl?

[CierraChan]

I'm white and my boyfriend happens to black/Mexican. He's been raised by his black mother who has four other kids (all are his half siblings) he has two older black sisters, and two younger black sisters. When we started dating (it's been a long bumpy year) he made it clear one of the reasons he really liked me was because I'm blonde/light eye color and white.

At first this didn't bother me, I was like whatever and we dated, broke up, did friends with benefits and dated and now went to a long distance relationship (my hair is turning grey). Although I love him and want him to be with me it bothers me that he really dislikes black girls (it's more then dislike and not quite hate but close to it).

He claims he doesn't like black girls because all black girls are apparently "loud" "rude" "violent" and "crazy" he even goes as far as telling people he's Caucasian with a European tan (I roll my eyes and tell him if that's what he is I'm black with a I never left my house tan). He also claims that his mother is a big reason for him being "anti-black girls" because she was always forcing him to date black girls and told him she'd beat the sh*t out of him if he dated a white girl. (his mother is very racist; she went as far as calling me a good black man steeler and slave owner and other white racist comments, I told her she needed to attend more church is she had so much hate for her son dating a white girl).

What I want to know is there more to these ill feelings? And if I should persuade him into therapy sessions, or seeing a counselor. Because I love him and want what is best for him and I feel that he shouldn't have a negative view of his own race. Because in my experience white girls can be just as bad as a stereotypical black girl. And I don't think the only "good" black girls hang out with white girls. I think the media is a big negative to the black image.

So any help or suggestion I can get for my boyfriends definite psychological problems?

[CarlaDanger]

Sounds like a smart guy!

From the CDC:

In 2014, blacks account for 45% of the total HIV cases in the U. S.

In 2014, 55.4% of all reported cases of gonorrhea occurred among blacks.

In 2014, The rate of chlamydia among black women was 5.7 times the rate among white women.

In 2014, 38.1% of all cases of Syphilis reported to CDC were among blacks.

In 2016, 57% of black females were obese.

According to the DOJ:

Black women are 4 times as likely than white women to be incarcerated.

In 2015, Black women were 3 times as likely as white women to commit violent crimes.

In fact, African American women are more likely than women of other races to go to prison during their lifetimes. According to a 2003 Bureau of Justice Statistics report.

So, what did we learn here?
Black women are much more likely than white women to be diseased, obese, and violent.

As a side note, I would suggest you do some further research into reports published by the Department of Justice, the Department of Labor Statistics, the Centers for Disease Control, and the Bureau of Justice Statistics regarding black males. They are not far behind their female counterparts regarding likelihood of STD infection, commission of violent crimes, and prison incarceration rates. #JusSayin.

[RiverUndertheSkY]

Look I'm not going to lie, when I saw this my first inclination as black women was say something mean, but I ended up changing my mind because I'm not that kind of person. However I do feel the need to address this because as a young black girl I know and share the struggle that other young black girls have when men and women alike both inside and outside our race try to put us down and make us feel like we aren't worth the trash on the side walk. I'm not in the position to deny any of what you said right now, since I tend to not pay as much attention to this some others do.

[RiverUndertheSkY]

But I just wanted you to know this poor attempt to hurt other young black girls with this post was not achieved. Black girls have to go through a lot as it is dealing with a world that only wants to see and bring out the worst in us, I'll admit we aren't the best all the time but I want to say that this personal attempt to put us down as a way to uplift women of other races is a low blow and is truly ugly. I don't know what experience you've had with black women to compel you to do something like this, and I don't even know how you are when you aren't hodi g behind a key board, but it's clear to me at least from this post that you aren't willing or maybe even haven't understood the pressure and mental burden put upon young black girls to grow up quickly and be their for our fatherless families, to see our mothers forced to work 13 hour shifts to support you because your black dad doesn't think you or your mom are worth the crap on someone's shoe, to be seen as aggressive when you're repeatedly having to defend yourself against posts like this one the internet that make you out to be nothing but the common rachet criminal, nor the alienation that comes when you realize that no one's in the world not even the black man will stick up for you when you've been wronged. So I don't know what state of mind your in, or how you were feeling when you wrote this, but I'll be dammed if I'm going to sit here and be insulted but a post like this. I know my worth as a black women and I will teach my nieces, cousins, and daughters just how loved and important they are in this world so that when they read hateful posts like this they won't be discouraged.

[Anonymous]

he dislikes himself. I can tell because you said he doesn't claim his own race. he is half black but tells people he is "caucasian with a european tan". and also it sounds like rebellion because his mother is black and only wanted him to date black girls. his feelings about his mother are transferred on to all black girls.

I have met guys and girls like this and they always have issues. if someone doesn't even like themselves, or respect and take pride in the race they come from, their family and background how can they respect you? eventually some of that dislike and hatred is going to come back on you.

if a guy likes white girls he should like you because you happen to be the girl he loves, not out of a fetish (white girls are all like __), and not out of a second hand (I hate black girls so I will date you because you're not like the girl I hate).

i think you should try talking to him more indepth about his feelings and then suggesting that he see a counselor about it, if you feel that will listen to him. seriously nobody respects people like that you don't want your boyfriend to be like that any longer

[princesskayle]

The same reason most black guys don't like black girls. They don't like themselves. You've said that he likes you because you're white and blonde with blue eyes. That's probably what he wants to be but he isn't. He hates black girls because they look like him and he doesn't like the way he looks. Therefore he doesn't like them because he looks like them. ~ Kayle

[Alpha93]

He doesn't like what he is. If he tells people he is Caucasian, and is dating a white girl, he seems to want to be white! Plus, I find it strange that he hates his own mother and sisters?

How can he not like his own race?

maybe find a counselor? He has some identity issues I think.

but what do I know :)

good luck!

[CierraChan]

Agreed, thank you :)

[Anonymous]

I don't think he has psychological problems. He prefers non-black women. His claims that black girls can be loud, rude, violent, crazy may be true. Most educated black women do not sound ghetto, act civilized, and use words instead of fists to win an argument.

Racism is caused by ignorance. Sorry that his mom is the way she is.

[CierraChan]

Thanks, I just want what's best for him and feel a extremely negative outlook on his race is sad. Thank you again :)

[Honeybaby]

My father was black and was the typical negative stereotype of a black man, sure enough I've hated his very existence, but I don't go around hating black men.

[Freetobe007]

A lot of black guys and mixed black guys have self hate issues and take it out on black women.

[oxidizer235]

Last time I checked, it's a free country.. he can date whoever he wants... does he HAVE to date a Black chick, simply because he's half Black...