My boyfriend always calls me stupid?

Question

So when we argue, I guess I'm not understanding him like he wants me to or my brain is slow, I don't know. But I'm always being called stupid and that I don't realize how dumb i am. And then when he tells me again slowly I kinda understand and apologize for not understanding before. But it really hurts my feelings, and I do tell him but his anger gets in the way. But other then that, when we don't argue he's really nice and a good boyfriend. We don't argue much though, we do give each other space which I believe is important, it's just when we argue. Lol
I am just slow to understand. Like I'm one those people that you have to tell over again to understand I guess and I know it can be very annoying but I'm not sure what I can do. Like I believe I am dumb.

rong1234 · Accepted Answer

i want your guys opinions too
i know im stupid sometimes but when it comes from you partner to say that it doesn't feel nice like when i do something wrong or yea do something stupid but i know i did it wrong but just i dont like it we went out Some times and yea some accident happened even tho for him wasn't and yea something stupid happend but just when it comes to public and he says like why u have to be so stupid whats worng when u and ish yelling it for me ots just awkward and i never did tell him that and even when we talk about funny things or silly things and he hits me with" actually u are stupid it " just hurts me I don't know if its normal for ur boyfriend to think that u are stupid or im just being to dramatic over this,,

Annamariam · Accepted Answer

Well if he doesn't mean it like he's just saying it only because he's angry or when ur kidding it's ok for few times , well my boyfriend calls me crazy sometimes too! well if I'm in the mood I laugh and if I'm not... I BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM😁😁😁so if u feel annoyed get mad and show it to him , make him understand that he doesn't have this right to treat u that way tell him is it ok if u call him a monster or I don't know Moran only because he can not control his anger sometimes? if u don't SHOW it to him he never understands how hurtful it can be

NyomiMcClinton · Accepted Answer

You are not dumb, so get that out of your head. He sounds rude and his behavior will only get worse over time with the way that he talks to you. I would never be with a man who calls me stupid. So im guessing if he calls you a "bitch" you would be okay with that. Its unacceptable behavior and is a toxic relationship. I dont see the two of you working out for long term. Sorry.

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

That's verbal abuse, why are you still with him? Please have enough self-love and respect to get out of that situation. You do not deserve that. If someone really cares about you, they will not call you names or insult your intelligence. It doesn't matter if he only does it when you're arguing, he has no right to tear you down like that and there are no excuses for it.

hsg14002 · Accepted Answer

in my opinion, don't take that from him. If he calls you stupid. Dont apologize. You did nothing wrong. He shouldn't be calling you stupid. Thats just plain wrong. I don't know how you put up with that but I just wanna let you know that that is not aceeptable. Im not saying to break up w him or to stay w him bc you said that he is a good boyfriend when you dont argue. But in my opinion, him calling you stupid is UNACCEPTABLE. Dont apologize to him.. It sounds like he wants you to look inferior (when you apologize, you look inferior) and he wants you to feel like you need him to get around. Im sure you are a smart, strong woman. Dont put up w that nonsense.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

They say the way a guy treats you when both of you are having a fight can really show how much he truly loves you and cares about your feelings. When things are going good and smooth it's easy to be nice to each other but honestly I think when things get tough and fight occurs are the best time to see your SO's true colour.

You sound like a really sweet and wonderful girl I really feel bad for you because you definitely don't deserve to have your feelings hurt by someone so close to you. Your boyfriend is really inconsiderate when you guys argue.

Genie23 · Answer

I don't know how long ago you posted this but I really hope you broke up with him because he doesn't seem to respect you. When someone truly cares about you and and have feelings for you, that person will make sure to not to say things in anger that's not disrespecful or very hurtful. The fact that he kept calling you that to a point that you started believe that you are stupid. He's clearly not good for you. This will get worse if you don't put a stop to it.

So, I'd say you deserve someone better who knows how to treat his partner even when he's mad or upset.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

And if he hits you, it's your fault for making him angry?

Anonymous · Answer

''But other then that, when we don't argue he's really nice and a good boyfriend.''

This is EXACTLY what every single person that is in an abusive relationship says. You are starting to believe what you've been told and soon you will not have any self confidence left.

Your best course of action is to remove yourself from this relationship but I can already see you disagreeing and repeating how good he is when he is not angry.

So I don't think you are asking for advice here, I think you want people to say it's ok to stay with him...

abc3643 · Answer

You may not be the most factually or logically intelligent person in the world, but you are emotionally intelligent to realize that what he is doing is wrong. He needs to get his anger and frustration under control, be more empathetic, and try more calmly to make his point. He may need to learn logic and/or how to talk to women and this may help him talk to you.

jovairia · Answer

Just leave him. Better sooner than later. Where there is no respect there is no true love. You are not dumb. You are in love with him and he is an asshole who don't appreciate your feelings enough not to hurt them. No matter how many times it takes to explain something to you, that's not a reason to offend you.

Pandagirllove · Answer

I’m the same way it’s hard for me to understand things with my boyfriend and when I don’t then he calls me stupid but tbh he calls me it a lot which I realize I’m in a toxic relationship because he tells me to stop crying like a kid when I have period cramps that make me cry last night I cried because of then and he said stop crying like a kid and then he said I don’t think your confident enough to have a kid which really hurts me because I have been trying to be perfect for him I have been doing well but sometimes he says things or tells me things that I don’t sometimes and I don’t think he understands periods either or what is girls go through when we have them

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

You are not dumb. Stop believing that bullshit. He's an absolute "gaslighter". Toxicity isn't love. You know it deep inside that you don't deserve this treatment. He's just a boyfriend and he's insulting you, what more if he becomes your husband and you have kids?

Stop excusing for him. You get what you tolerate.

danniec4 · Answer

Don't believe that. You need to toss his dumb ass. He is suppose to build you up, not tear you down! Find a patient, caring guy that won't hurt you like that.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

No, fuck him. My boyfriend calls me stupid, Imma tell him you're absolutely right. I must of been drinking the dumb ass tea when I hooked up with you so let me just pack my shit and leave. I won't force my presence or stupidity on you any longer.

Izzygarzon · Answer

Do NOT let him call you stupid. If he says anything that upsets you even the tinest bit, STOP HIM. Tell him, "don't call me that it hurts, it's not true" if he apologizes and never does it again, forgive him. If he laughs, and ignores that, dump his undeserving ass. Get a guy who treats you right.

TheUsername27 · Answer

''he tells me again slowly I kinda understand and apologize for not understanding before. ''
Patronizing as hell that is. The fact that he keep saying it/using that insult he obvious things it to an extent. Dump that twat. He clearly thinks he is superior than you he sounds like a real arrogant douche. But looking at things logically he is probably your typically handsome guy who can treat girls like crap and get away with it... so do as you wish.

Mehoyminoy · Answer

He should understand that it takes you a minute to understand what he is saying and not shame you for it. Find a new man

karahiri · Answer

he shouldn't be calling you stupid. it sounds like he's verbally abusive. leave him.

Anonymous · Answer

Someone times people will throw insults when they're angry but that doesn't mean they're true. Is it because you're close to him you've accept yourself as stupid? Honey, you're probably not.

WhereAmI · Answer

People can get very frustrated having to explain themselves over again. If he can't learn to control his anger over this then he probably isn't the guy for you.

natrickk · Answer

you're not dumb. your boyfriend is kinda an asshole.

Jessicastern · Answer

Please leave him asap. This is abuse. Find a man who would never call you names.

naraku · Answer

If you stay with this guy , sorry , but you are !  * I doubt you are , today he calls you stupid the next what? Poor excuse bc he gets angry or whatever *

wynot · Answer

I'm like that too, I have brain damage. Get a new boyfriend, one who understands!

boobliker · Answer

us guys use STUPID a lot of others do get what we are saying first off. so say you don't like that word.

My boyfriend always calls me stupid?

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