My boyfriend thinks I’m stupid?

[Anonymous]

So me and my boyfriend have been fighting more lately. Recently he said that I come across as thick, as in stupid. It all stemmed from a question that I misunderstood even after he explained it to me. I mean maybe I am little slow, but it still hurts he thinks that of me. He got super mad at me.

He said I’m always misunderstanding simple questions that everyone could get. Again he is probably right but I think my brain takes a different meaning sometimes if it’s not explained properly. I feel extremely low and not myself after this. I love this guy but he says I’m always annoying him. I’m trying to watch out what I say in case he gets mad again. How can we sort it out? Sometimes I think he hates me

[Anonymous]

It is perfectly clear from what you have just written that you are anything but stupid.

Its really quite upsetting to hear about what you are experiencing, thats not ok.

I would suggest one or more of the following:

Improve your self love and validation etc so that you are not allowing other people define who you are, how you feel and what you do etc.

Goto couples counselling or otherwise have a real grown up and interactive 2 directional conversation with your partner about what you each experiencing and why, what is happening with him for example which makes him say these very hurtful things etc.

Get a new boyfriend after a period of processing your feelings etc.

[mark000h]

You need to not be with someone who makes you feel less of yourself. Just because you see things in a different light doesn't mean you're stupid. You process things differently than him. He shouldn't make you feel less than him because of it. You shouldn't feel you have to walk on eggshells around him.

[gabi487]

I’d let him go if I were you. I know it hurts to be treated that way by someone you love. I was treated like that by a close friend in the past. I know the thought of letting go of someone hurts too. You’ll be free if you let him go instead of hurting any longer. No need to continue walking on eggshells for someone who clearly doesn’t care about how you feel. All this fighting and his arrogant criticism of you indicates it’s time to let go. He can go and find someone new to complain about. You deserve someone who will love you and make you HAPPY♥️

[SecretsofKB]

Honestly, you may love him, but he's super disrespectful to you.

So my partner and I don't always understand things the same way. There's been times that she's had to really explain something to me or I have to ask a bunch of questions because I don't understand. I've had to explain stuff to her too.

But we've never called each other stupid. I've definitely never even thought of her of stupid.

You need someone that will respect you. Not belittle you.

[Kush4kae]

Girl my boyfriend does the same. I'm here looking for help. He thinks I'm stupid. Talks to me like I'm stupid. He's rude but he just says he is "bold" and "truthful". It hurts my feelings and he doesn't care about my feelings at all. Yet expects me to care about his. It's so weird. He tells me how to do things I already know how to do and they are simple things a child knows. I don't know how to fix this. When I talk to him about it he doesn't seem to think he does these things and when I'm explaining it I feel so stupid

[jaybee281]

Tell him how you feel - Especially if he wasn't like that - but if he's like that constantly and it really hurts you then leaving him is the thing you should do - There is a difference between being honest on one hand and lashing out on you and disrespecting you on the other hand..

[JBlade]

"I love this guy but he says I’m always annoying him. I’m trying to watch out what I say in case he gets mad again." This is what love is? I've never experienced love, don't even think it's real, but this ain't it chief.

[KatherineJ]

Girl, you need a new boyfriend! A good boyfriend will build you up, not insult you!

[Asker]

He said he wasn’t trying to insult me and couldn’t lie to me , had to be honest

[KatherineJ]

Yet…he insulted you.

[awkward_author]

I think he's super toxic, and you should leave him. There's no real way to sort it out without it becoming abusive, assuming it isn't already.

[Wise4myage]

You can sort it out by removing him from your life.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

So why are you still dating him?

[Asker]

Because I love him and we’ve been dating 3 years it’s hard to just leave, if he thinks I’m dumb why is he even dating me

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Don’t shift the blame here. If you are unhappy, leave.

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe it's just because you're a girl.

[Zygum]

You people don't have mind syncronosation

[Anonymous]

look for Christ