Incels are guys who can not get a girl no matter what they do. Girls don't even look at them or notice them. Usually the reason of inceldom is being ugly or short.
Incels can be both confident and inconfident. An example of an inconfident incel is iftsj: Another inconfident incel is Orb:
An example of a confident incel is Elliot Rodger:
The thing those guys have in common is being ugly. Girls are so repulsed by their faces that they won't even look at them. Being confident is not enough, so if your advice is simply being confident, don't post here.
So what is your advice to them?
Women, do you know who the incels are? What is your advice to the incels?
None of those men in the pictures are ugly. Tbh most incels aren't that ugly either. I found that most I've seen are just very unconfident individuals, and women find confidence atttactive. Confidence in yourself is necessary for anyone before entering a relationship, many people think a relationship will provide confidence but it really doesn't. Relationships require a lot of effort and work and if you aren't already confident in yourself then it will only make it worse. I feel like that lack of confidence incels usually have is translated to anger and frustration towards women which doesn't help their case at all. There is nothing more unattractive to me then a man who blames me for his previous misfortune that i had no part in causing. And i think a lot of them need to learn how to properly cope with rejection, its a normal part of life. I have been rejected by about 4 men in my life and each time i have not turned around and insulted them, i just moved on.
And Elliot Rodger obviously had some sort of personality disorder, probably narcissism. There is a difference between being confident and being a narcissist. He became angry and enraged when he found that people didn't have as high of an opinion of himself as he did. Because of this, i dont consider him an Incel. Incels get mad at women because they are insecure, narcissists get mad at women because they don't live up to their expectations.
I agree that they're not doing themselves any favors with their narrow-mindedness and defeatist mindset. Even if they have no shot at ever finding love - which, let's face it, most of them simply don't - , nothing is worse than embracing the lay-down-and-rot (LDR) mindset - you might as well be dead. But I don't think it's their bitterness that drives women away so much as their combination of physical unattractiveness, unimpressive job and income, nonexistent social standing, lack of masculine traits and overall social ineptitude. Confidence is a vague concept. You can have all the confidence in the world in yourself with certain things, but not other things. If you continuously fail at something, you can't be confident at it. So when women repeatedly reject a man for the aforementioned reasons, real genuine confidence with women simply cannot materialize. They can convince themselves that they have it and possibly feign it, but it is ultimately delusion. But even if confidence can be feigned, if you score low in physical attractiveness, masculinity, social status and financial success, you're odds of finding love are still nil.
From what I've encountered online, women really don't seem to care if you're sweet and affectionate if you fail at all the aforementioned attractive traits. And a man's value in society seems to hinge upon his attractiveness to women. If you don't get women, you have no value. Any nice guy who lacks these traits is deemed by women to be part of untouchable caste of men who are beyond consideration for dating or sex. They may not hate a downtrodden nice guy, but they're still a non-entity, or a non-man in a woman's mind. For all the talk from women about nice guys, what seems to be the defining characteristic of women is a deep-seated and visceral disgust towards men they perceive to be genetically unfit for reproduction. Being nice doesn't spare you the fate of dying alone unlike being physical attractive, popular or wealthy might. So I don't think it's really about being a nice guy. If I had to guess, I'd say that maybe society instills the concept of the nice guy in the minds of women so that they're spared of any guilt. I think their attraction to bad boys disproves the nice guy myth.
Also, rejection is not the same for a woman. Woman rarely have to approach so the few instances of rejection they experience doesn't inflict as much emotional toll since they spend most of the time doing the rejecting while receiving validation from men approaching them. Rejection is easier to stomach if you rarely ever experience it and you never struggle to find men who are interested in you. Incels are literally never approached and they're rejected endlessly and often cruelly too. There is a feeling of inferiority, worthlessness, and hopelessness that sets in with constant rejection. The idea of rejection becomes unbearable because it's happening constantly and intensifies horrible feelings with each instance. When you see couples in public, you feel like someone who's been left out in the cold, like an outsider looking in, forever doomed to watch other people experience life-affirming love from the sidelines and you never really feel like you're part of humanity. And people wonder why incels are bitter. You can't not be bitter or cynical on some level as an incel. The difference between the life of a woman and the life of a man is as different as night and day. And most women would kill themselves if they had to experience the emotional isolation and endless derision from society that incels have to endure for pretty much the entirety of their existence.
Those guys aren't even close to being ugly. Elliot could have met girls if you're just basing this on looks alone, but it was his narcissistic personality that turned most people off of him. Have you read his manifesto? It's so cringe-worthy.
Incels complain that Chad and Stacy are so shallow, and yet you nitpick on looks more than anyone I've known of. You think those first two guys are ugly, and you go on and on about land whales and 2/10 foids.
Most people don't think the way you do!
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I think this whole concept is bullshit. Women really are not as motivated by looks as men, and I have seen guys with virtually every different body type, appearance and height do just fine in love.
I think "Incels" are usually jerks who get ignored for being jerks, or they are men who just never learned how to communicate effectively.
So if a guy truly believes no woman will ever accept him and he believes he's this "incel" than my advice would be to give up on women. It's a really dumb theory in my opinion though.. But to each their own. Maybe commit your life to something else rather than finding love from a woman? 😑
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Asker
+1 y
I am incel because no one likes me. I didn't choose to be incel.
Imagine having 0 kisses, 0 hugs in your entire life. Do yo really think a person can be happy while incel?
I met a monk once. He lives a life of celibacy. He seemed to be one of the happiest people I'd ever seen. There's somebody out there for everyone though. Learn to love yourself alone before you can love another. Maybe this is why you can't find love.
The 2 guys above are model type looking guys , while elliot rodger is just above average in terms of looks. You also have to remember that girls look for other things besides looks. Confidence and personality can help a lot for gaining attraction. You also need to love yourself before expecting anybody else to give you love back.
I do consider myself an incel, and thus I can totally empathize with the rest of them. Due to misinformation spread about what inceldom really stands for, which is based on the old tactic of the media to manipulate attention in the few radicals, the opinions the rest of the public has shaped about us is, that we are either ''toxic misogynists who hate all women and we want to witness their suffering'',''we are a group of mentally ill subhumans who consider women shallow because they only care about looks'', ''we believe all our problems are due to our appearance, as such we are idiots who do not know how reality works'' etc. Now, all these opinions have one thing in common. They show lack of perspective-taking ability. A basic ability of what you call ''social skills''... One cannot comprehend how another's reality is, when he never ever experienced it. An example of this would be people with decent economic status thinking about beggars in the street. What would their thoughts look like? Me, you and everybody else knows that our thought would be something like ''poor man... look, he doesn't even have a roof over his head'', and then we will just continue with our day (maybe we will buy a sandwich for him)... but to actually reflect on his position, to actually imagine and live, by virtue of imagination, how it would feel to know that you have not got a single penny on your account, you have no actual prospects for ensuring your day-to-day survival, you are obligated to just roam around sleeping in the cold and have roaches climbing on you, mice taking away bits of food from your mouth when you are sleeping etc... is a whole different story. Most people, by virtue of mental capacity seem unable to do this. Now as for me, an incel. I am a master's holder in Anthropology, I am a person who (shockingly) has friends, and has no problem meeting people, and making them like him. I would like to perceive myself as generous and kind, althrough this is not always the case. I am a member of my national Mensa chapter, which obviously points to something. Yet, with all these proof that I am, a socially average guy, with hobbies, with interests, with self-confidence to a decent degree, and with more than sufficient mental capacity, I still am alone. I am still rejected by every girl I ever decided to walk up too, or to propose something more than us being friends...8 freaking years I am out there socializing with success, studying with success, growing with success... but there is something I haven't told you about myself yet. I am physically disabled, dysmorphic, I have droopy eyelids, curved bones, malformed facial and body features. For this reason I had both men and women bullying me when I was young, and now that I am an adult I hear them wondering before they even met me ''is he retarded, his eyes seem off'' ''whats wrong with him'' ''he LOOKS disgusting''... these are MY experiences, and not you or anyone else can tell me what I live and what I hear everyday is not real. It is not real for you, just like not knowing how a beggar's each day feels like. If it doesn't happen to you, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen to anyone.
Elliot Roger? Girls were repulsed by him because had a bitter narcissistic attitude and was down right creepy oh plus in the end he murdered people so there's that... i hope you don't categorize yourself with that. There's plenty of girls out there don't lose hope maybe your in the wrong place you don't even have to be over confident just have good intentions I'm sure you'll find one
He has a lot of fan girls. I can't post links yet, but I wish I could link show you a video of a girl opening a package with shirt with his face on it.
Well those girls fall into the same sorry ass category of the pyscho desperate fan girls that would send love letters to Ted Bundy and drool over Richard Ramirez at his court hearings while listening to them talk about the women and that child he tortured then sexually assaulted. No need to send link I believe you that shit is just not natural
ITs amazing how someone who never researched him or met him knows so much about elliot rodger. He was in fact narcissist, but that is NOT a reason for inceldom. many narcissists get laid enough.
I wouldn't voice my opinion on something I knew nothing about, no need for you to be rude. Yes obviously I don't know him personally but he has put enough about himself out there and there have been numerous accounts of people who saw or encountered him to come validate my opinion. I didn't say anything about narcissists not getting laid I can't help what others do or inceldom at all... still that doesn't change the fact that HE was a bitter, deluded, murderer.
Well it really comes down to confidence so the more you think you're an "incel" the less popular you'll be. The guys you showed here aren't ugly at all! So really I think "incels" should just put themselves out there and not fear rejection. The more people you interact with the more likely you'll find someone who'll like you. I mean men born without feet have wives, so I really don't think appearance is that big of a deal :P
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Wtf dude the top ones are the prototype of Chad thundercock in terms of looks. What are you on about? If they have a hard time dating it probably is due to mental elements. Not looks. They can work on improving that. Hell they would probably be "slaying pussy" like this kind of posts tend to say. I know dudes that look like them and had so many options when I was at highschool. Hell even women from other cities talked about them as "oh, you are from that city where those hot dudes live". It definitely is something about mentality or behavior when looks have nothing to do on it.
Yeah kind of hard to ignore them when they blame you for their own problems and wish harm on you. :/ that said, itâs usually not the looks that women find repulsive, but their actions and personality.
My advice: donât blame women because you canât get laid. You have options that donât hurt people, use them. Not getting a girl also, is not a big issue. Become an actual good person and it will come naturally.
Basically, I never liked this but unfortunately I don't see it ever going away, I've always been a fan of the belief that men need to have better social skills or a better understanding of social dynamics than women do in order to succeed in the dating world
Dude, Roger Elliot wasn't confident in public. He was confident over camera.
I am short as it could be but not ugly - I'm not getting laid.
I know plenty, let me say again "plenty" of men who are short and ugly and are fucking women here and there. One thing I can say about them is they are fearless, they don't hold back on what they are saying.
The second one's is really cute. I'd totally date him, if it were based on looks
I don't know what you're talking about.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
To me an incel is a man who shamed women for dressing or acting in a certain way even if they do it to make themselves happy. They try to control and shame them like for example, âyou must not cut your hair short you are so uglyâ, âShave your pubes!â, âew your fashion sense sucks lolâ. They think they can be a jerk to women and get away with it. Too bad women wonât listen to them since they had no rights to tell a woman what she should do.
I think what I learned is that incels can also be handsome physically but ugly on the inside. As beautiful a fruit is on the outside it sometimes can be rotten on the outside.
I read something so incredibly hot the other day that I thought I'd pass out from the sheer excitement of what a young woman said -- she said that she was fascinated with the idea of giving a virgin, pussy free incel a really, really good prick teasing! Now, she's got the right idea:)
@sahas20 haha okay I can see why you laughed now. I've never gotten plastic surgery, by the way. I just don't think there's anything wrong with it if someone wants to do it. It's probably because of the culture I grew up in.
yup and that's really bad according to me honestly. I understand that you're not happy with your face, body etc. and you just want to impress others or look just like others. rather than that I would suggest the asker to not worry about impressing everyone. you just have to find that 'one' girl who likes you for what you are. the only thing you need to change according to me is your approach and how you treat them.
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