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Finding love in a racist society as a single mother with a biracial son? (Page 2)
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wow your story is my mom's story. my mom is hispanic and got with my British dad and here I came 9 months later. then he left with no support whatsoever. she prayed and prayed to God for someone to show her the way. a man by the name of Sean brought her into an organization and there she met my romanian stepdad. my dad grew up poor in the ghetto so he accepts those of a different color than him. they then got married and I can say, he is the best dad I could ever have had. I suggest praying to god to find someone you love. someone who knows what they want. someone who is disciplined.
My mom raised me in the similar situation. A Single mother. I had a great childhood despite it all. Just need to Keep your head up and keep being strong through the hardships, that means shrugging of comments of insensitive jerks on here as well. There's a lot of crappy fathers that don't want to take care of there own children, then want to crawl back in your life when your successful. I see these absent dead beat fathers as a blessing. Let the weak men leave so a stronger man can lead. If a man doesn't want you, for now on don't see it as rejection, see it as a dodged bullet. They have deemed themselves: too weak or too scared or lacking in some area that doesn't benefit you. You don't need another worthless man to mess up what you have left.
Yes, yes, yes... strong, independent woman and all that crap.
Except she is desperate for a man to sweep her off her feet and save her from her bad life choices. Meanwhile, the only thing she currently has to offer in trade to said man is her genitals which have come with a daily reminder that someone else has been there long before him.
Keep telling these girls lies about life and consequences and keep putting them in difficult circumstances. It's soooo helpful.
Yes strong independent woman would be really a solution for many problems of western societies.
But I have in mind another kind of strong and independent woman than mainstream media depicts them. ( passive-aggressive self-absorbed bitches with an enormous victim complex )
I mean women who are responsible, respectable, credible and diligent but still elegant and feminine.
The strong men are the ones who didn't waste any time on someone like your mother. The weak ones are who clearly raised you.
Yeah it can be trying at times, but if the person you're trying to be with doesn't accept you and everything that comes with you then they're not for you. Some guys can't handle/accept kids in their life though, just try not to take it personal. I can't comment on the racial side because it could just be that you're a single mom. But I will say I've dated a white single mother with white kids and it worked until I realized that she was somewhat embarrassed for all of to be seen in public together. It didn't really bother me because I thought that she would get over it, but she didn't so I knew it couldn't work out. Just keep your head up and stay strong, some guy will come to you one day.
That's a pickle of a problem darling. I'd really focus on your son first, and hopefully, the right guy will come along. You'll eventually find someone you can jive with.
It's usually not race that turns guys away, at least what I know, it's the fact you have a child. It's the whole feeling of taking care of something that isn't their's type of thing. Women get that way as well when it comes to children and men. I've seen women turn down men because they have a child. While I would never do it, it's the way society is. Partly because we don't like surprises, and we don't like muddying the water.
Eventually, you'll find someone who loves you and your son. Just keep your chin up, and smile on your face.
She already 27 years old, and the likelihood of her getting married is shrinking every day. She needs to lower her standards, to be honest. Maybe try dating someone who is older. She competing against girls who are younger, not single mothers, and not as bitter. Sorry, but the truth hurts.
I personally don't like girls like you aka those white girls who chase After black guys (penis size). Im not trying to be judgmental but giving you my honest and personal experience white girls like you tend to be loud and talk with that "hood accent" like that "cash me outside" girl.
White girls who have dated or date black men are considered undesirable because you are seen as the type of women who date men according to the size of their penis and it's hard to please such type of woman.
You sound pained. Is your penis small?
If you were a bit more racist than you wouldn't be in this predicament (raising a child on your own). This is no longer a racist society because racists are being cast out, attacked in the streets, fired and getting banned on the internet. Who cares, you wouldn't want to date a racist so why does it matter if theyre not interested in you. You just live in the wrong area probably. Move to a liberal city and you'll be considered Holy Mary.
Is Donald Trump racist?
Obviously it depends on where you are in the country (I assume you're in the US from your post) but I feel like most guys care less about the race, and more about the kid at all. Being a single mother is not a desirable trait in the dating world unfortunately.
I'd have to second what he's saying.
If the mother's husband had died, it wouldn't be as much of a problem. But she chose to fuck some deadbeat black guy who had no intention of committing to her in any way, and get pregnant. She is a single mother, by choice. She had a child with the lowest IQ, highest crime race on the entire planet. Behavior is around 50% hereditary and intelligence is usually the average of both parents. Being a single mother is a sign of low intelligence. So here we have a woman, avoiding any kind of personal responsibility, claiming RACISM is the reason why she can't get prince charming, when she is clearly dumb and her kid is going to be too. Who would want that?
@Martina_Heidegger omg shut your racist ass the fuck up already. Stupid bitch.
"I want to find someone who will love me ***and take care of me***..."
That's why they run. If they're taking care of you, they're also taking care of another man's kid.
Don't know what to tell ya. A woman having a kid is a large enough downside, when the kid is not even of your own race, that's a death sentence in the dating game.
You are going to have to date down and find some desperate guy, that's pretty much the only way you'll get anyone. Guys who normally would be on your level are "out of your league" with that kid.
I don't think it has that much to do with race, just the fact that you're a single mother.
Big no go for the majority of guys who have alternative options.
single mothers are undesirable at the best of times, a single mother with a child that so obviously looks nothing like either parent (including any "new" father figure) is like 100x less likely to happen.
make stupid decisions in life, win shitty prizes (like becoming undatable in the eyes of most men)
I had to read your description over and over again because I am so confused on why people are saying you're being rejected for shitty life choices. It's not your fault your baby daddy is a deadbeat.
I really wish I could give you better advice but don't rush it and don't give up. Live your life, raise your son, be the great mother that you probably are and be happy. You'll find someone. Good luck.
How is she supposed to know that his deadbeat ass is gonna leave her when she gets pregnant? You've probably been dumped, did you know that they were gonna leave when you first started dating them? Probably not because if you did chances are you wouldn't have dated them. Stop being stupid.
I've been in a relationship for the past 8 years so yeah I think I've found myself a meaningful and stable relationship.
Yeah but you dating him for long enough doesn't guarantee that he'll stay. My mom was with my dad for 10 years before I was born, he still took off after I was born. Guess it's my mom's fault and not my dad's? Ffs, how can you be so stupid?
It's not the fact the guy left. It's the fact she wants to virtue signal rather than accept responsibility for what she did and she's basically accusing everyone of racism. The man she really wants is a needle in a stack of needles at this point. Not everyone who disagrees with your life decisions is a bad person... Maybe listen to them more?
My thing is forget about race. I judge women I want to get involved with by past decisions. Having unprotected sex with a deadbeat isn't a smart move. I judge people based on who they sleep with. Itds a reflection of themselves.
Your opinion is what I think most of the guys that aren't interested in her think. She thinks it's about racism though. It isn't for all guys.
Have you considered adoption? I see you dating/marrying a blue collar guy you meet at work. That will last 5-10 years before one of you cheats. Just in time for you son to be cognizant of you desperate attempts at finding love with rebound guys in his teens. After that your looks will fade just as your son chooses not to attend college. Good luck with all that!
You are not getting getting rejected because you are mother of a biracial son.
You are getting rejected because you fucked your life with a track record of shitty life decisions.
Eh, I wouldn't date a single mother. The race thing isn't really a big deal for me but I just am not interested.
I wouldn't date a single mom. If you are upset about the racist society, why don't you just date black men? That's the most reasonable solution to your problem
She wants someone to take care of her, and her kid. She obviously trying to date non-black guys. I know tons of whites, Latins, and Asians who don't want to raise a half black kid. Nothing personal, it just there preference.
listen lady.. its a tough world we live in now.. you are right current society is really difficult.. Im not trying to be harsh but you should drop the expectation of trying to find someone who will take care of you.. Take care of your son.. If anything.. he is the one who needs anyone the most.. his dad bailed out on him.. he can't have his mother looking for other men..
I wish I knew what to tell you but unfortunately you are right. It is very hard these days to find someone who accepts another race.
It may take time but don't lose hope. There is someone out there who is non judgmental and will treat you and your child with love and care.
I think it's "kid" and not race that is the issue here.
This issue is based off of race and her son. Read it again.
@zagor It's kid, race and coal burner. The whole pack. And she only wants a man "to take care of her and her son". LOL xDDDD
@SpanishGuy coal burner?
@zagor It's /pol/ slang for a white woman who is knocked up by a black guy.
There are a lot of interracial adoptions, so I don't think that is the most significant part. Just read all the responses on GaG when someone asks if guys would date a single mom.
The majority of Men out there with any sort of brains wait till they have a career and can support a family before have children and that is smart. So if I waited and sacrificed for a career then Why on earth would I settle down with this looser? I mean seriously ALL YOU WOMEN have to do is pick the right guy and He will give His heart to You and His damn wallet. This has nothing to do with RACE because I'm pretty sure His father would have reacted differently if She brought home a well educated family oriented black male but no She brought home a bastard and the father hauled ass because He is a cowardly POS that takes the easy way out just like all liberals do..
@SpanishGuy No She wants some fool to come along and save Her from economic disparity while She turns around and rings up 60k of credit card debt on His visa card.
Of course. What did you think would happen when you took up with a black guy? Even if you didn't have a child. Did you think any white guy worth his salt would ever date you again? I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying it is reality.
lol some of you girls make the dumbest decisions and then you want a good guy to play superman. you know, you could still be a good guy without being a push over who is on a waiting list...