Finding love in a racist society as a single mother with a biracial son?

[Ashleysomebody]

I'm a single mother of a biracial son. The black father abandoned me while I was pregnant, he refuses to even see his son or financially assist me with raising our son. First couple of years was really difficult for me, my father disowned me, dropped out of college early and started working. Thankfully my aunt isn't racist as my family, gave me a place to stay and helped me get back on my feet. She has no husband or children of her own and see us as her own kids.

Dating has been rough for me, can't even count how many times I've been rejected... What hurts me the most is I'm not getting rejected because of my looks, personality or status. I'm getting rejected because I'm a mother of a biracial son, It pisses me the fuck off. What difference does it make if my son is biracial? Regardless of color, a child is a child. Obama was biracial, he became the president of the united states so what's the big deal if my child is biracial? They have no problem with me being a single mother but once I tell them the color of child the racists just run away...

Sorry guys for the rant, I'm just so depressed right now. I want to find someone who will love me and take care of me but just so difficult in our current society. Do any of you have any similar life stories or advice for me?

[Frosteh]

There's several issues that all compound together and make you a really unattractive candidate for dating/marraige.

The biggest one by far, is that you're a single mother. Irrelevant of the race of the child, many men have a very strong negative emotional reaction to putting in resources to raise another mans child. This comes from our evolutionary history, those men who evolved mechanisms to feel disgust towards the idea of raising another mans child simply passed on their genetics more often. The more resources spent on raising another mans child the less you have to spend on your own genetic offspring and traits which encouraged men to be indiscriminate about the progeny of the children he was fathering were simply an evolutionary dead end.

Second of all the child is mixed which means any white man trying to date you is going to have an outward indicator that signals to other men the above problem. And men judge other men on this issue, we all tend to feel this disgust even if its on the behalf of someone else, so there's social stigma there. At least with a white baby the problem is somewhat hidden from immediate view.

Third, the uncomfortable truth here is that black men in many places such as America tend to abandon their children. Approximately 20% of white children are fatherless but a whopping 60% of black children are fatherless. Most people are aware of the fatherless problems with black children, and so men have to question your judgement here. Men are discerning when it comes to a potential female partners choices in life, it's a judge of her character. Why did you pick a man to get pregnant with who is the type of character of someone who would leave? Too many people (mostly women) are quick to blame the man for leaving, but secretly men also judge women for picking that man to begin with, after all you have all the power when dating, who to court, who to sleep with, etc.

Forth, your attitude here is really bad. You're looking for a man to take care of you, that comes with an incredible sense of entitlement. Why would any man do that?

[Margillard]

Not only that but marriage period is a bad rap for men, iiregardless if there is children or not.
www.foxnews.com/.../why-men-wont-marry.html

[Frosteh]

@Margillard Agreed, in fact there's a growing online group of men called MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) who are generally abandoning traditional male roles like husband and father. Largely because of pitfalls of divorce, alimony and family courts. These institutions have favored women for too long and now men are opting out.

That's nothing specific to this case however, more a general comment.

[Margillard]

In some areas the divorce rate is up to 90%, which is utter fiancial and emotional suicide for a guy. Even at the rate of 50% which they lie to you about, is a major risk.
General yes, but irregardless if a girl has a biracial child or no child at all, intelligent guys that can use their big heads and not the little one, frankly are not going to get married any more.

[Militar]

Firstly, I'm laughing at this girl life right now. If she waited to get married, she could at least married a decent black guy.
Secondly, this whole post is filled with projection. For example,". What hurts me the most is I'm not getting rejected because of my looks, personality or status. I'm getting rejected because I'm a mother of a biracial son, It pisses me the fuck off. " The fact is men are rejecting her because of her social status (a car with over 200k on the odometer). What men of value want to hook up with a single mother. The answer is simply losers, who don't meet high standards.
Lastly, I'm going to assume this girl is attempting to date non-black men now. Men have every right to reject this chick. As she slowly approaches 30, her odds of trapping a man are going down. #SAD

[Brown_Bottle_Fever]

I remember a few months back i saw a white couple with a few half black kids. My fist thought of that guy was that he was a cuckold taking his wife's sons out for a walk. Almost couldn't hold in the laughter. Not many men are desperate enough to want to put up with that kind of ridicule.

[lightbulb27]

It shouldn't be an issue, everyone is a mix of something. the challenge is at this age, a lot of guys don't have kids, may not want responsibility (it's lot to take on) and risk of baggage... dad comes back, etc..

I think you'll need to do some changing and go fishing in a different pond. Something is "off kilter" here. You write like you have a great heart, your pic... makes me think you are really hurt. Its just a pic, but a pic is worth a 1000 words.

My point is, you have to look elsewhere to find someone who has a heart, so you need to project your best self... not wounded self. The only place I know where people have a chance of growing a decent heart is a place with two good parents, church (I'm not saying all people but some will have a heart), or someone older and more mature that sees the potential.

It wouldn't deter me at all, but I'm not typical. If you project a lot of wounds though... that would deter me. Your traumas... must be resolved emotionally. If willing to try a God solution for that, if that is up your alley, let me know and I'll send you one when it is ready for publishing.

Else, seek support groups and social support as much as you can. It's not easy... what a bummer. Girls... choose those guys carefully... this is the real game of life!

[sejla]

I just saw something similar posted on a dating coach facebook page. A man was communicating with a woman until he asked is your son mixed? She said yes and he said no. The first thing we told is don't post any pics of your son any more.

You're best bet might be going to groups that are more geared for people who are single parents. I mean like meetups on the site Meetup or just do some interest groups on that site. Not a lot of men in your age group are quite ready to settle down to help raise a child. You might date older. It requires a man who is willing to raise other people's children. They are out there My friend is married to one and the kids think of him as their dad.

Your best bet might be to do things you enjoy and not think about dating much. It sucks but it is sometimes part of being a mom. I know I haven't said anything about the biracial issue but in a way you just can't focus on it. Anyone who wouldn't accept your son as biracial isn't datable anyway. The world isn't full of people who are racist it is just that unfortunately you've been running across a whole lot of them right now. Broaden your non dating social circle and you might found more non racist people.

[TheMoroccangirl]

My apologies for the rude comments you have to bear. However I think there is some truth in it, but I understand that you made decisions you probably made because of the way you felt at that time. Perhaps you ignored or did not see the consequences.
It will be very hard to get you a white man since your kid is half black. It would appear weird and it might attack his manhood (Like you cheated on him with a black person yet he stays with you). I'd recommend you to search a black person (you'd have more luck finding one who is willing to date you) but be very careful this time to date a decent one and not one from the hood. Also don't get pregnant again within a short time.
Or what I'd do if I was you, I'd just raise my kid and give him double the love his coward father couldn't give him. Like spending all my time to raise my son rightly as a single mother. He'll be proud of you no matter what. You're stronger than you think you are.

[Mafiaman]

Well said no matter how much people say skin colour doesn't matter , it matters especially if your black because they are the diverse of people

It's absolutely humiliating raising a child that doesn't resemble your skin colour unless the kid adopted but if the kid's mother is biological it's hell for the white

Also like she said her family is racist and because most families are racist interracial couples don't work so if she broke up with a black guy because of it and starts dating white guys , it means she dating him to her family happy and not because she loves him

[Anonymous]

We talk about guys... why should a guy want to be together with a single mother who was banged many times by a black guy? By a black guy!!! isn't it already bad enough that guys are insecure about their dick size, now with you they would always think about how this black guy fucked the shit out of you always, thanks to your son they know of your sexual past with a black guy. Its not that your son is coloured, no its because because your son is coloured that they know its the kid of a black guy who fucked you many times, and hey, he left you right after you got pregnant, didn't you know that many black guys do this?
They dont want to take care of a kid who belongs to a black guy.

Sry girl, but you are doomed.
The only way would be to find a guy who is confident in his dick or a guy who has no other choices than you to pick.

[Fhsjakyshejznxbdjj]

Confidence has nothing to do with it. I'm more than happy with having the working parts that go along with being 6'2", and I would never go out with a woman in this scenario.

[Djnerox]

@SpanishGuy You're absolutely right. This is the God's honest truth.

[DictumVeritas]

Everything you said is true, save for the perceived confidence about penile size. I stand back for no black and I am raising my kids with my white wife. No, it's because a woman who chose to destroy the gift of her white genetic lineage by tarting around with a black and bearing his offspring, sickens me to my stomach.

[Fetur]

@DictumVeritas i agree 100% with You, im an engineer with good praying job and a good looking White wife she is pregnant of our first child, but if i was to reenter the dating market it would be out of question to share my ressources with à girl with biracial Kids.

[satori-in-life]

The assumptions about dick size have nothing to do with men not wanting to date a single mother with no standards. I'm a well-endowed white man, and I would never date a white woman like her either.

[CHARismatic110]

I think it's less about your son being biracial and more about you having a son in general. Guys are less open to dating single moms than women are to dating men with kids.

And it's a fucking shitshow in these comments. So many racist ass people. It's disgusting. I now remember why I stopped coming on here. This site is a joke.

[ciitruskiwi]

I can't believe I've been on this site for so long and never realized until now. I knew there were racist people on here but this is ridiculous. These comments are sickening.

[CHARismatic110]

@ciitruskiwi yeah, it's insane.

[sawno]

The others need to be more vocal. There are good people on this site, but the amount of hatred being spread in the comments is indeed sickening. Usually people are a lot more lovely.

[CHARismatic110]

@sawno not as of late. It seems as if more and more hateful people join this cesspool everyday.

[sawno]

Doubt its just that, there is a much larger trend infecting america and if people dont wake up soon i predict civil war. People have been encouraged by the media and hate groups that they should think in labels and groups and that you should threat people different because of it. By design thats disruptive and devisive and the only way to end it is to care about all individuals until proven one is not worth caring for.
So i doubt people are joining more racist i am affraid all these arguments are turning people racist.

[sawno]

Lol, i just dugg a bit deeper. Most of these accounts are the same person.

[CHARismatic110]

@sawno not surprised at all seeing as how they all have 1Xper

[sawno]

The reason i know is that all those accounts coincidentally only happened to reply to just this question

[musicbrain5]

I just saw a question asking what people think of Muslims and the replies are just as disgusting. And this is only a fraction of the race problems happening in the world today.

[sawno]

No worries music its mainly one person who just got 7 accounts banned

[CHARismatic110]

@musicbrain5 it's sickening. I used to say that i could never imagine living during times like the 50s but it looks like we're headed right back there.

[musicbrain5]

@sawno So all the racist replies here were just one level 1 newb who was trolling the site? A lot of the answers are from newbs but that would take a lot of effort for one person to make like 20 different accounts at the same time. Plus there's the anons who are most likely regular users here, ashamed of being racists so they hide.. There's even some racists attacking white people (I guess cause OP is white).

[sawno]

@musicbrain5 Not all of them but most of them. I can tell you the means i use to detect him in PM, i won't share that openly for him to see.

[musicbrain5]

@CHARismatic110 This is the question I saw before: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2611184-how-do-you-feel-about-muslims

Look how many people are down voting everyone who says they're fine with Muslims and just look at some of the answers... mostly from dudes too, just like here. I've no idea why that is. They have hate boners for Muslims and black people I guess. 😞

[CHARismatic110]

@musicbrain5 ughhh I let these people take me there every time!

[Poncho_Luoncho]

@musicbrain5 Or, it's a bunch of guys whose opinions have been marginalized or were never asked to give them. So some fanciful narrative developed that didn't include or even ask how certain groups of people felt about these topics.

[Desconhecida]

Wow.. this title is the dream of a liberal

[GivingYouWhat4]

I've been waiting my entire life to answer your question. I will be the storm that uproots the tree. Sit back and enjoy the feedback. Hopefully you will view it with a clear mind and learn from it.

A black male used you as a sperm depository and now you are blaming other races to satisfy your seethe. Let me point out why the racist is you and no one else. First, you deserted your own men to lay down with another. Which proves you rejected your own people well before they rejected you. Secondly, through the centuries it took to create you, your complexion, the texture of your hair, the color of your eyes... you took it upon yourself to go against the grain and flush thousands of years of culture, race and heritage down the drain to create something that is NOT in you or your family's image. Thirdly, you went against your fathers wishes. The person who helped give you life. You were arrogant and thought you knew better. Now you're suffering the consequences of your behavior. Your Aunt is a negative influence and an enabler. My guess is she a poor decision maker. This is why she relates to you more than other family members. That's why she has no significant other or children. You assumed this "interracial dating" thing was a trendy turn for you. Now your feeling the wraith of your choices. The child will never look like you. He will never identify with you. He will eventually stray and you can blame everyone else but yourself. On top of that dose of reality, everyone knows the history of black men and childcare. Facts are not racist. They abandon ship. And your sinking fast. Now your mad at other people because you are viewed as an anchor? You deserve to go down alone. Perhaps you will find another black man. I suggest you start there. You are branded. Everyone sees you from a mile away. Now you must settle. Lower your expectations. Take what you can get.

Every woman needs a rutter when navigating this world. That rutter is a man. He will give you the direction you need. You have to pick the right one because sometimes a second chance is not given.

By the way, dont listen to these other "men" when they say "you're biracial child doesn't matter". It absolutely does. Trust me. Your kind is always discussed and mocked accordingly. Put on a seatbelt because the rest of your life is going to be a bumpy ride.

[Jinx67]

OK you hook up with a deadbeat "not even tossing the race card here" and have a child. Then now you expect to have you're veritable pick of the litter in men, sad to say that ship has now officially sailed.

Single successful men that have the confidence and self esteem that make them attractive, are not looking for ready made families. They are looking to start their own.

You've painted yourself into a tiny corner to put it mildly, not in school unable to support yourself, living with auntie. Unfortunately yes the child's race is going to play a role in any relationship you have in the future. Not everyone on planet earth shares your "enlightened" views.
And on their end it actually adds another layer of complexity to the problem of you having a child to begin with "aka hassle".
I'm not speaking for the world obviously, I just know how I would feel going into a relationship such as this.

My 1st thought: Why should I support offspring that aren't mine.
My second thought do I really want to spend the rest of my days explaining your unwise life choices to everyone we socialize with.
My third thought involves running for the nearest hills.

I really don't even know what to tell you "advice wise" other than never depend on anyone but yourself for ANYTHING. And you need to make damn sure the next guy is willing to commit prior to having another child. Because your "not to be insulting" more prone to pump and dump behavior in the future. If you go looking for the next relationship right now.

The best advice I can give you, is to honestly focus on making your life better for yourself and the child, before looking for another relationship. Yes it's going to be hard, yes it's going to involve long hours and stress, and yes it will be lonely at times.

But unfortunately these are now your top priorities for the next 18+ years.

[stawrman]

Thank you man for putting it in a much more understandable manner, I'm with you on this.

[Ron8711]

I see this type of thing very much in the Carolina's where white females will seek out and date the worst type of black guy they can find. They seems to like the excitement and game that irresponsible men provide. It's only after women have messed up their value that they want a good respectable man whether black, white, or any other race. From a black guys perspective, I would not take care of another man's child no matter what race her or the child is. You could have chose a nice black guy if you wanted to, but you chose the worst type of black man as most white females are attracted to. I have seen a couple of white men marry and take on a biracial child a woman had from a black guy. Men seem to have an attraction to youth, beauty, and personality, so if you have these qualities, you could possibly find a man to accept you and your child especially a single father.

[CastizoCasanova]

Try and think about it from the perspective of a male... not only do you want someone to "take care" of you, but also your half black son. Being a single mother is hard enough, but now every time your man goes out in public with your son, every other person is going to think that you cucked him with a black guy and he was so spineless that he stayed with you to raise this guys kid. What kind of self respecting, sane man would ever sign up for that arrangement?

At least if the kid was the same race people might think it's his boy, he wouldn't feel such intense shame at being seen in public with him, but you chose to create this obstacle for yourself and it's not up to any man to just accept it.

Like others have said, you should probably focus on being independent and supporting yourself first. At which point, you might start looking for eligible black men to step into that role, because at least they won't have the same stigma about being seen in public with your son, or much less of one.

When that time comes, you should take a hard look at your own worth to a man and maybe set your standards accordingly. Beggars can't be choosers, as the saying goes.

[SlavaNat]

Please, answer it to yourself.
Why would i ever consider i single mother, which ofcourse has a chd that is not even mine. I will have to pay for him/her, raise him/her and be a father, while not even having a child of my own?
I want my kids to look like me, and i want my kids to be mine. Is that racist? Protecting your gene pool?
by the way, the kid will have problems. Not only with identity, but with the lack of the father figure in his life.
Also why i wouldn't want to raise a mixed race child? Beacuse most associate better with the "black half" of their family. The child does look like them, does he not?
Basic psychology tests have proven, that white kids usually choose white dolls. And vise versa.
Are they racist? Ofcourse not. It is a part of natural selection and self preservation drive in us. That is usually very much present in men.
I'm sorry that you dislike basic biology and human nature, but denying them and morphing them into a false prejudice, will not change a thing.

[Cupuffs]

I am so sorry to hear that there are so many racists. As a liberated white male, I would like to apologize on behalf of all white males for their typical racist white male behavior.

I want to let you know that I fully support interracial dating, especially white women who choose or prefer to be with Black Men. In fact, I think that such couples look quite delightfully lovely together -- the Black Man's muscular and masculine physique pressed against the soft feminine curves of the white woman.

One can imagine that such a beautiful contrast begins with a soft kiss and then crescendoes into lovemaking as the white woman presses her lips against the beautiful black phallus to show her devotion to the African race who has come to liberate our society from the scourge of racism.

Every act of Blacksperm dousing the white womb is a revolutionary act against racism, and I, as a progressive anti-Trump white male support and endorse your decision.

I for one would be honored to date such a wonderful woman as yourself. And I can assure you that I would not be jealous like those racist white males who wouldn't want you to continue being attracted to Black Men. In fact, because monogamy is largely a racist concept, if you were my girlfriend or wife, you would have my full support to continue seeing Black Men because a woman's happiness and satisfaction is priority and paramount in any modern, progressive relationship!

One world, one race.
Love sees no color.

[CharlesX]

LMFAO... I see what you did there!

[goyo_el_flaco]

9.5/10

[MrFinn]

I don't know why, but I am disgusted now... This self-destructive mindset won't lead me anywhere. Thankfully, I could use at least 2 neurons to think about it. Not sure if you're trolling right now tho

[LoU_Hades]

XD... I like you kind of humor

[DDpsy]

Your wife's son need's a diaper change and your wife's boyfriends needs a beer.

[Malono]

Are you Soros or just trolling like a master?

[tbonetbone]

Let's reverse the roles here. I'm a single attractive man with limited education and career prospects. I'm never going to be able to make the money to support the better life I'm looking for. I hooked up with a black women and got her pregnant. She wanted an abortion but I demanded she have the baby. She left me after our baby daughter was born and now I'm taking care of my beautiful baby girl by myself. This woman was nothing more than a player and she used me only for sex.

I'm looking for an attractive high quality women who is ambitious and can love and take care of me and my daughter. When I say ambitious, I actually mean someone who has money and resources to support my dreams of a better life. I will love this lucky lady with all my heart, but my daughter will always come first. My daughter is my world after all.

When white woman I'm dating find out I'm a single father with a biracial child, they run the other way. Why are white women are so racist? Did I even mention my father doesn't want anything to do with me. He says I'm a foolish man who makes poor life choices. He says I'm not worth the hassle of dealing with. My father is so racist it's unbelievable.

Can people tell me it's not me, but society that is the problem here.

[stawrman]

Hm. It's complicated. See, one must understand that not every one is ready to date a girl who already has a child. Moreover, usually, racially people to have tendencies to mix up in their own races although I don't quite agree with it.
I think you need to learn to take care of yourself. You've come a long way and have been a strong women. You've struggled like nobody but your child needs you more than ever. Attend to him. Even if a man accepts you and your son, let me tell you, that father figure in his life is going to absent anyway.
Educate yourself, get a job, earn, pay his school fee and find a motive in life. An attitude which strives for finding comfort isn't wrong, but you can do much by yourself. Eventually?
You may just end up writing a book about your struggle, because it's a unique one and I don't mean to sound unrealistic, but a self dependant lady scares and attracts a brillian man. Work for yourself and a child, trust me, you're capable of a lot.
Comfort will come, but you're just going to have be like bear grylls for a little
Best of luck!

[Jokerman326]

What did she do to scare away the black dude who bred her?
What is she doing to scare away the black men now?

[stawrman]

@Jokerman326 stop hating me I ain't black or white. I'm just giving my opinion that I don't focus on these things, I focus on myself, or at least I try to

[stawrman]

And she ain't scaring nobody, what I meant was, men fear a lady who is self reliant. They know she can manage without them. That's all.

[stawrman]

Bottom line, you can spend your life questioning why things happen or why people are that way, or you can choose to work at yourself.

[LoU_Hades]

I think most single mothers are a little bit limited in matter of self-improvement. No matter what skin color their child has.
The only way for a singe mother is to find a man who is willing to support her and to share the burden of raising a kid.
That girl has very little to no chances for that.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Lmao, you're not having problems because your son is half black.

You're having problems because you have a kid which scares guys away. Also, I have a feeling you would turn out to be a very defensive person. That will turn guys right away.

You have to put your love life to the side for now and learn to depend only on yourself. You have a child now. That is a real person with your blood running through his or her veins. That kid is a piece of yourself so what you need to do is find work that you can do well and get promoted in without a college degree. And once you get comfortable, then you can look for a guy.

If you keep playing the worlds smallest violin for yourself now, you'll be doing it forever. You need to smack those tears off your face and get motivated to work hard. Ask yourself: What will my kid be doing when they're my age? Keep working to make sure it's better than what you got now.

[DasRaycis]

Wouldn't date a girl with a kid

But definitely wouldn't date a coal burner

[btbc92]

What you need to remember is that there is no such thing as race, and people are ignorant and idiots for still believing in this lie that have deceived the whole world. You can't afford to think some guy has to take care of you. The problem is not the child and shouldn't be. The issue is you having premarital sex in the first place without being married. You may not believe in waiting but now look at the consequences of what your actions have left for your son. Once you become a parent it is no longer about YOU anymore. But about your son. Focus what is best for him, not yourself. That is my advice. And somebody someday may be attracted to your dedication for your son and want to be in his life. THAT should be far more important than anything. You saw what happened in Charlottetown? These are some dangerous times were living in and civil war as a race war if not just a world war will be upon us whether we want to or not. It is that real.

[dindunuffin]

If there is no such thing as race can people be racist? :thinking:

[WyattMann]

@dindunuffin Almond Status: Activated

[btbc92]

No there is no such thing as race. And even science proven this what even what smart people knee the while entire time. DNA is still the same. Re e means different species not different types of people. That's called eternity and therefore it is a social construct to fool people and cause a problem. Being racist is still a real thing because ignorant people wants entitlement to it. Take that away and they have no identity. That s what people fear the most. They want to identify with something.

[btbc92]

But if people wants to destroy and kill other humans because of xenophobia that's on them. Because that's what it is. People need to wake up and actually see how fallen they've come. All that race business was a set up since the slavery times to control people and create fear mongering.

[btbc92]

It not only makes you wicked but evil and no good is in you.

[SpanishGuy]

The best part of your speech is that your future is the same as OP's present. hahahaaha

[charlieward]

Try reading a book written by someone in the biology dept instead of someone in the humanities dept next time.. race is real and ever present. Youve been lied to. No biologist worth their salt in this entire world would deny racial differences well beyond skin colour,,, its undeniable. Social Justice is a cult.

[btbc92]

@SpanishGuy

And you think all of this is game? Keep playing games with your life. That's how many of you end up in situations you do. You have no care. I would rather for you to tell the truth about yourself instead of this idiotcy. Anybody who wants to try and play that with me may end up in a place they don't want to be at.

[btbc92]

@charlieward

The same applies to you as well. This is no time for games and you think I've been lied to? I believe in the Lord. Not man or some Social justice nonsense. Every one of you no matter what you associate yourself with are all the same and heading in the same direction: hell.

[Branes51]

@dindunuffin Technically, btbc92 is correct. Race is an artificial construct by scientists to categorize different physical traits in people from different locations on the globe. It's just another box people are put into. For example, if someone dislikes Arabs or Jews they are considered racist. But if that someone is white, then they are not racist because Jews and Muslims are categorized as Caucasian by anthropologists, believe it or not, with the sub-category, Semetic, Hispanics, which isn't a race at all but a social designation created by the United States government are also under the designation, Caucasian. Anthropologically speaking, there are only three races: Caucazoid, (Anyone not belonging to the other races), Mongoloid (Asians), and Negroid (blacks). Caucazoid has a number of sub categories, Semetic being one and Latin another. But Latin, technically, should include Spaniards, Portugeuse, and Italians ( the original country from which Latin groups derived).

[Branes51]

btbc92 When you talk about hell with a non-believer it should be with pain in your voice. A disciple of Jesus should an emissary of peace, not an avenging angel. That's His job. This is why Christians have become so despised. Our job is not to lord over people with our beliefs, but to point them to our Lord and let him deal with their sins. We have enough of our own to contend with. As much as we like to believe that we know the truth, the only ones who really know are dead. Remember that always. Paul said we have hope and an inner certainty. That can never be understood. There is faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

[btbc92]

@Branes51

As a refrence to hell , I am not just talking about the spiritual but the metaphysical. They may not going to understand that, but these are people who are already hellbent for that and we have to warn them of the present consequences. Pain in my voice is not going to reach anybody because they don't want to be reached. I have to speak in a manner that he allows for me to speak. Speaking softly won't cut it for people who wants no peace but destruction. I an highly sensitive to the spiritual things of this world and with people. I am highly aware of what tone to use unless otherwise. We cannot passive in these times. Respectful, yes. But not passive.

[btbc92]

This is why many of our Brethren and sisters are getting killed. we have to remember that we each had to be responsible for our own salvation because nobody knows the day the time or the hour of when they will leave this earth. No, we cannot rule over people. But we still have a duty to warn them. And we cannot do it by own own will or strength. His word is very clear of what happens when we go against his will. Revelation is very clear of that.

this is why many Christians today are not waking up and why God is allowing these things to be happening even with us. because many are very much asleep are being misled in the church and is not truly seeking the Lord for themselves. what a lot of Christians need to understand that many people even for some questions have made their own choice.

[btbc92]

we cannot afford to be having any type of Hope in this world if we're looking to be with our Lord and savior. he's preparing for his people to get out and those who don't want to do anything or stay will be left down here for Destruction.

[btbc92]

whatever it is that is his will for those who will be here is what it is that he knows he will do for them. We're going to be seeing some real serious things that a lot of people especially Christians do not want to see. a race war is literally soon to be upon us. what explains it a lot of people I would not want to see anybody and I'm getting hurt or being a place that should not be after this life but neither can I control their life or tell them what to do. but we need to stop sugar coating and tell them the truth. the Lord knows who's of him and he knows who is not. he knows who will go to him and he knows who won't. but one thing is true he won't save everybody who don't want to be saved. the only thing that we can do is pray that God himself will make the attempt to reach or else that's it. because the Lord has told me years ago he is not going to reach people who don't want to be reached. but the sad reality is many of us Christians do not want to believe that.

[None11am]

btbc92, I disagree. I think God reaches out to everyone at different points in their lives.

[Anonimoos3]

Geneticists disagree with you.

[btbc92]

@None11am You can't just think. You have to know and seek him for yourself to truly know. Yes, God still attempts to reach, but there are a point and time he will stop.

[btbc92]

@Anonimoos3

Really? Got proof?

newsreel.org/guides/race/pressreleasecredit.htm
www.newsweek.com/there-no-such-thing-race-283123

You are entitled to how you want to believe at the end of the day you're having another blood on your hands because of that ignorance you don't want to give up. Treat others how you want to be treated in return.

[Advocate_14]

It's not racist to not want to date a woman who has committed beastiality.

[btbc92]

We are the human race. Not races within a race. She has a son at the end of the day. She didn't commit beastiality. Now you're just being a moron. You obviously don't know what bestiality is and that's having sex with animals. Stop calling people they have a different skin tone than you animals. Now who's the one being racist?

[btbc92]

You people are just really sick.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Not wanting to date you doesn't make them racist. You chose poorly, you chose a poor mate and are a single mother as a result. That is what makes men less inclined to date you. You slept with and got impregnated by a man who immediately abandoned you, that shows that you have poor taste in men, that you where only interested in him because of superficial reasons OR because you are just overall irresponsible. So again, this is a red flag to men, its got nothing to do with your child being mixed race (do you know how many men would be fine with being with a mixed race woman? its a lot.). Combine that with the claims that its because others are racist instead of accepting responsibility for your actions just further shows you have not changed and are still that same irresponsible/poor character woman that men simply do not want anything to do with.

[LoU_Hades]

I'm a father of two girls with two different women. My current partner has a son that isn't mine. I accepted the role of being a father of another man's child only because people in my circle of acquaintances know that I have two other children.
Son of my partner is white like 99,9% of kids in my country therefor my perception about a single mother with black kid is a little bit different. But I would never accept a woman no matter how interesting she might be with a half black kid. I suppose majority of males who are interesting for females in their twenties wouldn't accept such a single mother.


In my opinion, a white single mother with black kid has the best chances to find a black guy. The other more radical way is giving that kid into adoption and trying to start new family with a responsible man.
Finding a white guy who has many options to attract women (I suppose that girl would accept only such one man) is practically zero for her with this kid.

[RolandCuthbert]

Well, I don't know the specifics of your situation. I know women who have mixed" children. I think one factor you could be overlooking is that you had a child by a man who abandoned you, it does not matter his racial background. If I were you age, I would exercise caution in dating you. But that is because I would think you have judgement issues.

As for what you are personally experiencing, if it is racism, then I am very, very sorry about it. Perhaps you could try a site I know of, meetup. com.

There are some dating groups there, some are dedicated to mixed people or parents of mixed children.

Try it out.

[Martina_Heidegger]

Racism is the excuse she uses to avoid having to take responsibility for her life choices.

[RolandCuthbert]

@Martina_Heidegger We cannot be sure of that. But I do think she can take steps to ensure she is dating from a pool of men where that is not as big an obstacle. In America, we have a lot of online groups for dating and socializing. There are definitely ones out there for parents of "mixed" children.

It might sound unfair, but that's life.

[Martina_Heidegger]

@RolandCuthbert - What man would willingly take care of some half-black kid from a single mother? Have you seen the single mother's children crime statistics? It's just begging for problems. Blacks commit 25 times more murders and over 200 times more assaults. Race and IQ are real, behavior is largely hereditary too.

[RolandCuthbert]

@Martina_Heidegger Yawn. . . crazy troll racist. Be gone. . .

[Martina_Heidegger]

+RolandCuthbert - Not an argument and telling the truth isn't trolling. Enjoy evading reality, it'll come chasing you one day and you won't have anyone to blame but yourself.

[RolandCuthbert]

@Martina_Heidegger Nah, racists and reality are not friends. Evidenced by your insane rant on race and IQ. And that crazy crap about having a child with a "White" woman.

That was hilarious!!!

[FloridaManStrikes]

There is no way I would date this skank, and I would disassociate from any of my friends that would sink so low. It comes down to decision making. I want a woman I am proud of, and how could anyone be proud of having a walking reminder that this beautiful woman who could have pick any number of good guys found a piece of gutter trash and exchanged bodily fluids with it? If she gets a white guy, he will almost certainly be a scumbag with an equal moral character to the one that abandoned her. She burned the coal, now she's paying the toll. As they say, once you go black, you're a single mother.

[MrFinn]

damn... harsh but truthful words there mate... I'd have written those exact same words if I weren't concerned only about the harsh, unalterable truth. Sure I was thinking about being truthful to my thoughts in every word but I'd have lighten it up a bit. This one is a truly learning experience, thank you.

[hi_no_tori]

I am sorry to hear about your situation, but calling all men "racist" is not going to help your cause.

Reality sometimes is tough to swallow, but it's a fact, that most men won't line up to take care of another guys child. Doesn't matter if the child is black, white or anything else.

Try to make the best out of your situation and don't try to give away the impression, that you are desperately searching for someone, who will raise your child with you.

I wish you the best and I hope that the biological father is at least paying child support.

[ChadwickBram]

Her biological father probably isn't even working, let alone paying child support.

[BelovedPaladin]

@ChadwickBram truth

[RickyKlement]

You though you were so much cleverer, enlightened and progressive than your stupid "racist" father and the rest of your family! All they tried to do is shield you from the obviously very poor life decisions you keep taking. Instead of actually listening to the only people that loved you on this earth you are, even now, still blaming society, men or muh racism.

All you ever learned in life is to parrot some (((media talking points))) providing you with the absolution from ever taking any responsibilities in your life.

But hey, f*ck your family! You go girl and keep being a strong, independent, progressive woman like all the sassy girls in your favourite sitcoms.

The white, handsome, sucessful and well adjusted Prince Charming you now seek is just around the corner! All you have to do for him to show up is to simply keep on crying hard enough, while asking some strangers on the internet to rationalise your child-like behaviour & mindset

[Djnerox]

And this is why the internet exists. 😊

[None11am]

@Djnerox You two really are moronic pricks. I'm beginning to think American men are despicable human beings and red neck scum. Oh wait, we all know that already. You ought to be ashamed of what you write.

[Poncho_Luoncho]

@None11am Think what you want but it still doesn't get this girl married to a man who will be willing to "take care of her."

Reality is a bizzo sometimes.

[Badballie]

@None11am YOU ARE BUT A CHILD STFU.

[JackWilliford762]

I dated a girl about six years ago who had a biracial son with a black man. She was a very attractive nice girl , but everywhere we went people would stare at us because they knew I wasn't the father of her son. I felt awkward and I eventually ended it for that reason. I wouldn't mind if the kid was white. I would be able to act like he was my own son then. I'm sure that's what the guys that are ghosting you are thinking. I can't blame them. I couldn't do it either. I'm sorry about your situation. I think you would probably have better luck trying to find a black guy instead. A black guy probably wouldn't mind as much. Good luck and keep your head up.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above statements. You need to focus on raising your child to be excellent. You are a parent need now. No more partying and worrying about guys. If you meet a guy that's great but no your priority. Also if you do not want to deal with responsibility. Then you need to consider adoption for the kids sake so he can be successful in life. Life is not a game you need to know a lot to help you & your kid become excellent. And perhaps when you are successful someone will come a long. Look up self actualization.

[DictumVeritas]

She is still tainted with black DNA because of micro-chimerism. No descent man with any options in life wants her. Descent black men don't date white women and descent white men won't touch her.

[Shutupman]

guys have actually said that they refuse to be with you because of the color of your kid?

To be fair having heard your story I would judge your intelligence for getting knocked up by a guy that obviously was no good.

How old were you when that happened?

Anyhow I still think most guys just don’t want to deal with single moms. Not many people would want to raise a strangers kid, especially not financially since the biological dad won’t pay.

Can’t really blame men for not wanting to be a part of that, you should have been sexually safer if you wanted better dating options. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[JohnDoe3000]

You were very young and had a kid with a loser deadbeat. I doubt you'd have more success dating if your baby daddy was white trash instead of black (not to deny there aren't racist men out there, as some of the comments here show). Hell, even if you were older when you had the kid, were married with the middle class, white father at the time, and still received child support from him you'd still get turned down a lot simply for being a single mother. Racism really isn't the most obvious explanation here.

[Martina_Heidegger]

80% of blacks in Detroit have no idea who their father is. It's a common enough occurrence for black men to not raise their children that "once you go black, you're a single mother" has become a meme. To pretend otherwise is just lying. The vast majority of white men raise their children.