I don't like that my boyfriend adds my friends on social media?

[Anonymous]

It makes me feel weird that he adds them on Snapchat and Instagram and Twitter. I don't like him being THAT involved with my friends.

[ilovelegs]

I think you have every right not to like that... like every time you exhale you breathe right in his face, or every time you turn around you'd bump in to him. I think every person should be able to have, at least, a little privacy and something that identifies them and makes them unique and have something to talk to their partner about without them already being fully informed. Adding all your friends on every social media that you're on makes me feel that he's slightly insecure and is keeping tabs on you. If my girlfriend was following every footstep of mine it'd make me feel so insecure because I'd feel she didn't trust me, so you have a right to feel the same way. It'd make me feel a little creepy. As far as all-around friendship with a lot of people I guess everyone could belong to every social media. If you like it, ask him why he does it. Tell him you like to have a few personal friends of your own and he can do the same. It's best to be upfront with him if there's anything your feel uncomfortable with. Couples should not hesitate to discuss indifferences between them if any exists that are bothersome to either. It's best to have the lines of communications open between couples that are in relationships.

[Alexgagnon]

I can understand getting upset if your boyfriend is putting more effort into them than he is you. but if you just wants to be friendly there's nothing wrong with that. and personally I would have a huge problem with my girlfriend not wanting me to have any connection at all to her Social Circle.

[Asker]

I guess you are right. I guess it isn't fair of me to tell him not to be friends with them on social media. I think I should just unfollow him because it makes me jealous and I don't want to see his social media interactions. I don't want to feel left out that he doesn't interact with me that much on there either.

[Alexgagnon]

does he not interact with you in person? and does he want to see them in person without you?

[Asker]

He does interact with me in person. But, he isn't big on PDA. He doesn't try and see them without me being there, but I feel left out. I feel embarrassed that he will comment on/like their posts, but leave me hanging. Sometimes I will comment on his and he won't reply. If my friends comment, he will reply.

[Alexgagnon]

one I hate all social media stuff and I use it to get a sense of connection without actually caring about you. so this could just be his way to be personable with your friends without caring too much. and why does he have to comment on you when he sees you in the day.. you get me,

[Asker]

I understand that, yes. I just feel unseen and unimportant to him. I don't know

[Alexgagnon]

unseen and unimportant in social media correct?

[jennyPuss]

it really doesn't matter because the odds are at some point you will break up with him anyway so who cares? and in the odd scenario where you might actually one day maybe get married- chances are you'll get divorced anyway. so who cares? once the two of you split your friends will go back to being exclusive friends with you. and if the two of you stay together- well then what's the harm with him being friends with your friends?

[miiszmel]

Wtf? How would you know if theyre going to break up?
Sounds like you dont believe in relationships.
This is bad advice mate.
Dont put your belief onto someone else.. it can do some damages and thats fucked up.

Im in a relationship so you think me and my boyfriend will break up at some point just coz we are in relationship? LOL.
I have friends that are in long term relationships already and family members that are married and still going great.
So dont go telling people that their relationship won't work out just coz theyre in a relationship.
Dumbest thing I've ever heard.😂😂😂

[jennyPuss]

@miiszmel most relationships eventually fail. i didn't say that hers would. i said if it did- and for whatever reason it likely would- it wouldn't matter. who can say why relationships fail there are lots of reasons. it's just a statistical probability that it will fail. most relationships don't turn into a marriage. and marriage fails at least 55% of the time- but it's generally agreed that government statistic is faked to suppress even more depressing figures. just being real and not giving her false hope.

[browneyedgirl88]

I would want my boyfriend to get to know my friends and get along with them, of course if he was snapchatting my friends more than me i would be jealous, but if he is just following them since they are your friends it's not strange at all. Also my friends would likely follow a guy I'm dating first since I'm talking about him so much and they want to know who he is haha

[btbc92]

What's the point of dating him then if you don't want him to be involved in your life? Your friends are in your life. So if you just want to keep him at arm's length, you should have just not become official. If you're that jealous, then you don't need anybody or any friends, until you learn to value the people who enter into your life.

[Blueberry_Spicehead]

So, your friends are YOUR friends and nobody else can have them, or is your boyfriend a special case and just he isn't allowed to be friends with your friends? The way I see it is that if I'm serious about a girl then I'd at least try to become friends with her circle and I'd hope she'd do the same with mine, else it's like she isn't trying very hard to be a part of my life. If he was calling up your friends and asking them to go hang out with him or going to meet with them in person without taking you then that would be too far. But social media? come on that's a bit ridiculous. (once again I'm talking about a serious relationship that's pulling towards something more)

[Asker]

I just don't think it's really a good idea. What if we break up? I don't want him to feel badly because I am involved in his group. I don't want to feel badly because he is involved in mine. I just find it strange how sometimes he has gone about it. He wouldn't even ask them for their social media, he would search them up.

Some of my friends he'd NEVER met but he would search them up (I've told him about them) and go like their past selfies. He'd also go onto friends' profiles and like their past selfies too.

The way he went about it makes me feel so strange.

I just have never really added an ex's friends on social media. That didn't mean I don't want to be a part of his life, but, I feel it's just weird. They're his friends, I can enjoy their company when we are together.

I guess it's because the way my boyfriend went about it, that is why I feel so strangely.

[Blueberry_Spicehead]

Well it seems to me like you aren't really invested in the relationship if you are already looking at what will happen when/If a breakup happens. Either way it seems his interest in your friends is more social media based than physical world, so he isn't really part of the friend circle. Have you told your friends that you don't want them being friends with your boyfriend? Technically something odd can be there but it really just appears like he's just being friends with your friends because they are your friends.

[Sabretooth]

dreading about the worst case scenario clouds judgement

[Asker]

I told them I sometimes feel jealous and weird about it. They said "oh, if you want me to delete him I will". I tell them, "no, no... I just wish he gave me the same attention on social media that he gives you guys".

I don't want to make it so he can't follow my friends and stuff. But, I just feel insecure and awkward. I feel weird. Sometimes I feel left out. I know he is seeing me and dating me; he is texting and calling me. But, I give him attention on social media. He's my boyfriend. I sometimes think to myself "what is so wrong with me that he likes/comments on friend's photos but not mine?"

[Sabretooth]

if you revealed that-i people would've been more understanding

[Blueberry_Spicehead]

See with the way you worded the question and the way you've answered most people it seemed like you were only talking about a "what's mine is mine and what's his is his" thing where here and now we're getting into it more as an insecurity thing. He is most likely talking with them to get (In a roundabout way) closer to you. Also he SEES you and might not see a point in commenting on social media when he can just talk to you in person (that's how I am anyways) and he comments on their's because the point of social media is to be social without being next to someone.

[hulkster]

Well tell your friends, to unfriend him. Also tell him stop getting involved with your friends. Both of you, should have your own friends. Its a bad idea in a relationship to have the same friends.
If he get upset with you over it, then that is his issue, and if doesn't respect you for it, break up with him.

[sineater8]

Welcome to the world of social media, all your friends are his friends now.

You either accepted it and confront the fears or feelings you have about it on your own or with his help, or you ask him not to friend all your friends on social media, if he loves you and is serious about the relationship he will respect your feelings and do it, though he might find it weird, or that your insecure about him and may ask for a explanation.

[Asker]

He feels it is insecurity on my end. I mean, perhaps it is. I just feel awkward and annoyed about it.

[Asker]

None of my friend's boyfriends have done that with me. I have also never done that with their boyfriends.

[rjroy3]

Is he sending them requests or are they requesting him?
Because I know for EVERY girlfriend i've ever had. I would receive friend requests from her friends and I accepted solely because they were her friends. It's kind of rude not to, unless he already knows that you two aren't close.

[NobodyKnowsAnything]

Is it because of your own insecurites or because of jealousy? Because I totally get the whole insecurities thing. But if you trust your boyfriend and you trust your friends then it shouldn't matter. I guess if it gets weird then say something but really it's a good thing he's interested in your life and trying to connect briefly to the people you are close to

[Taishici]

maybe he's trying to fit in more with you? guage what your friends are like as he's Gona meet them one day. better get a head start now.

[MusicMayhem]

Why? Are you worried he likes them and will cheat on you with them?

[imphenominal]

did you talk to him about it? yes? did he listen... guess not... well sometimes if he really loves u u have to take risk making him feel the same way u feel one of the best but risky ways

[Prettygurl12]

Do you not want a sustainable relationship with him?

[Asker]

I do. But I don't add his friends. I don't need to be close with them like that.

[Prettygurl12]

I mean... he's trying to integrate himself in your life. Like a good boyfriend.

[Asker]

No. It's not to be a part of my life. He told me "I want to be friends with them". That doesn't really have anything to do with me at all.

[TheUglyMonk]

Why would he want to be friends with them? Lets think about something they have in common... hmmm... Oh I found it... it's YOU. It's called being friendly, if you don't like it you can talk to him and solve things with him on your own.

[madhatters4]

if he's going to be in life for a long time he should become friendly with your friends

[levantine99]

change friends. or mindset, if you are irrationally jealous. or boyfriend if he is a player prick

[justlikemike]

maybe there adding him that's how most of my wife's friends got on mine

[Asker]

No. They aren't the ones to do it.

[Harlock2045]

he's simply listing all the relationship assets for the eventual separation, so you can divy them up after

[Angel_Enemy]

That's a little creepy unless they know eachother through other means. Drop him

[Sabretooth]

perhaps he just wants to be friends with them and be closer to you-almost sounds you don't want that-many guys don't want nothing to do with their girlfriends/wive's friends.

[Asker]

He can make his own friends. I met a few of his. I didn't add them on social media. I don't need to.

They are HIS friends, they are NOT mine. I don't need to be close to them like that.

[Sabretooth]

i kinda feel sorry for him

[Asker]

Why?

[Asker]

I don't really think it's appropriate to become too close to a bf/gfs friends. I think you need to give your partner space and a life of their own.

[Sabretooth]

cause frankly, you sound like a cold, controlling bitch-and that's not a term i use very often. most women would be happy-and if you keep this up... well, you well, you won't be having to to worry about space anymore.

[Asker]

I don't really think that's really accurate. But okay lol.

I have feelings too. This makes me feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't do that to him. I don't need to interact with his friends. I don't need to talk to them. They are his. I respect that. I can't interact when we all meet together and my boyfriend is there with us. That's just strange to me. I've never had a boyfriend add my friends, and I've never added a bfs' friends before either. I thought their friends were cool people, but, it just seems inappropriate to me.

I'm sorry you're a jerk and cannot understand things from my perspective.

[Asker]

At 26, I thought you would know how to talk to people in a more respectful manner. I guess I was wrong...

[Sabretooth]

i'm the jerk? i'm sorry-but i'm not the one who's trying to to turn a positive thing into into something it's not. if the fact he want to hang out with you and you friends makes you uncomfortable or inappropriate... well, it's gonna get much more difficult down the road. it also sounds like you either don't trust him or ashamed of him.

[Sabretooth]

i'm not too sure i'm the one who's being immature.

[TheKeyMaster]

sabretooth, it doesn't help you called her a cold controlling bitch

[Sabretooth]

@TheKeyMaster that's how she sounded.

[hulkster]

You talk to shit sabretooth, She is not a controlling bitch. In a relationship, everyone should have their own set of friends. why? because if things were to get messy, that could lead to problems of one person in the relationship having no friends.
So its not controlling or about having trust issues. Its about everyone having friends when a relationship ends sour. I wouldn't want my girlfriend being friends with mine friends. I would tell her to fuckoff, and get friends of her own.

[hulkster]

Cause when it comes down to it. If I end the relationship for whatever reasons, she could easily be vindictive and turn my friends against me. If my friends decided to take her side, then I felt with having no friends. So its not about, being controlling or trusting your partner. Generally most people vindictive, most people always out to seek revenge, you have done wrong to them. You would niave not to think that.

[Sabretooth]

@hulkster and if she has any self respect, she'll do just tthat.

[Asker]

If you had any, @sabretooth, you wouldn't feel the need to comment rude things to people. I'm sorry you're displeased with your life. I hope you find happiness in the future :)

[Sabretooth]

This has nothing to do with me., that was being being honest-

[hulkster]

QA just leave it. The problem when asking for advice from strangers, who don't know you, are going to make wrong assumptions about you. They don't really know you, they are going on the information you have told them.
Sabretooth, He made an unfair judgement of you, But that's fine. He might not like the decision you make in your life, you might not like the decisions he makes in his life. One mans treasue is another mans poison. The key thing to do on this, is take everyone opinion with a pinch of salt, evaluate it, and decide the best course of action.

At the end of the day, it your life, No one knows whats best for you. I have had plenty of people tell me on this site, say horrible things to me, because of what I asked and said. But that's fine, its perpective of the individual. Everyone entitled to their opinion, but their opinion doesn't have affect you.

[hulkster]

You have 2 choices in life QA. You can be the best actor of your own life. Or you can be the person who reacts to everyone else's drama, meaning there will be people who bring you down, call you names. But if you keep reacting to their drama, you will never get anywhere.
Just be true to yourself, that's the key to being happy. When you always listen to others, you become a miserable. take care good luck.

[Asker]

Ty for your comments, you are a good person. But, I have moved on from it.

[hulkster]

ok no worries good luck to both of you.

[Sabretooth]

It's not my fault she didn't mention things like him spending more time with her friends-had she-people would be more understanding. I happen to have helped a quite a few-however reread some of the things you've said here and see how it sounds.

[hulkster]

Sabretooth. Don't my opinion personally. I am not attacking you. If you two misunderstood each other, then you should apologies for the mistake.
If I have judge your comments unfairly, then I am sorry. But I still stand on my opinion, that each partner should have their own friends.

[hulkster]

Don't take my comments personally.

[Asker]

Hey guys, I think we should all just agree to move on and let it be. There were misunderstandings everywhere. Also, its nonsense at this point. Let's carry on with our lives :) take care

[Sabretooth]

@hulkster meh, Im used to it-but thanks. I think it's a recipe for disaster-especially with the way you said it-I'd personally would have no problem adding her to my friends. I've also learned that allowing your fears to dictate your action will cloud your judgement and you'll be the one who made your fears come true-as I did

[hulkster]

OK, I agree with QA. Move on, lets not make a big deal out of it. Let put it down to a misunderstanding each other. Take care good luck.

[hulkster]

Don't worry sabretooth, I understand. Thanks anyway.

[Sabretooth]

@hulkster no problem

[baby181036]

Why do you give details of your friends to your boyfriend？

[Asker]

What?

[Anonymous]

Let him know that you're uncomfortable about it. If he doesn't stop, I would be a little bit suspicious. But if you really think he's loyal, he probably is.

[Ephemera1]

Have you tried talking to him?

[Asker]

He says to me "I didn't know I was JUST the guy you're dating. I am trying to be friendly and make friends".

I don't want him to be friends like that with MY friends. He doesn't need to be THAT involved with them.

[Ephemera1]

And did you tell him what you're telling me?

[Asker]

Yes. He said to me "I didn't know I was JUST the guy you are dating..."

[Ephemera1]

Ok and then tell you don't like it and he needs to cut it out. What's so hard? It's not Abdool

[Asker]

I did tell him. But it still bothers me. I don't get why he has to add my friends. Why he has to chat them sometimes. Why he gives them more social media attention than he does me. I feel left out.

[Ephemera1]

Ohhhh so it's more like why isn't he showering me with attention?

[Asker]

I also just feel uncomfortable that he wants to talk to my friends outside mutual hangouts :/

[Ephemera1]

It's normal. If you spoke to him and he doesn't stop, you probably don't wanna keep him around.

[JohnDoe3000]

Sounds like you don't trust your own friends...

[levantine99]

you know the level of the average female friends. boyfriends stealing backstabbing bitches that politely greet you and stab you behind your back.

[JohnDoe3000]

@levantine99

I get your point, but why stay friends then? At least make friends with girls you can trust or who like different types of guys than you?

[levantine99]

i talk about past mistakes. no i hold no bad bitches around.

[levantine99]

now*

[JohnDoe3000]

Yeah, Asker needs to choose better friends.

[StormRiderszz]

Do u fear that u lose him?

[Cannuk]

Why. Don't you trust him

[Asker]

He doesn't need to add my friends. He doesn't need to like their posts. He doesn't need to be friendly with them like that and chat them every once in a while.

[Cannuk]

Oh. Wow

[Nahid1234]

You can talk to him about this

[Ravipartap]

He is Narrow minded or possesive about u thts it

[Anonymous]

tell him you don't like

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way but what can be done.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

whys that exactly?

[eagle1951]

why not?