I don't find my boyfriend attractive anymore?

[Anonymous]

We have been together for 3 years. These past 2 years he has gained weight and hasn't been taking care of himself. Personal hygiene, haircuts, wearing clothing that looks good, or shoes he wears dirty shoes. He has a lot of animals like chickens and ducks, so on... he takes better care of them than himself, his room, his car, his belongings in general and I can't take it anymore. Yes I've told him multiple times. I love him but I don't know what to do. I'd rather not leave but I'm gonna have to if he doesn't change. Any opinions?

[spasticlizard]

I dunno but I feel like even when you're in a relationship you should still want to look good for your boy/girl, because though he's doing it to himself mostly, he's really affecting your relationship too as he showing immaturity and laziness. I think he needs some sort of epiphany because like you said, you don't want to leave, but leaving may become the only option if he doesn't change. So yeah I think a completely serious conversation with your honest thoughts will give him that epiphany. If it doesn't then he's not willing to change for you, because I know I definitely wouldn't like to date someone like that.

[rgb008]

he's gotten comfortable and feels like he doesn't need to try anymore cuz he has you.
Maybe for his birthday take him to a fucking spa hahah

[jammy85]

I think you're the problem. If you love him, you will love him for all his quirks.

[paulyy_07]

I don't think the things she said are quirks, they're more like concerns regarding his health, lack of interest in personal hygiene and where his priorities are :)

[Anonymous]

I've had the same situation happen to me where I was dating a guy for quite a while when he totally stopped trying to take care of himself seemingly out of nowhere. He stopped cleaning up after himself, he didn't brush his teeth, he didn't bathe much and even his laziness itself began to repel me. I told him how his behavior was making me fee and gave him time to sort himself out, but nothing changed and I ended up leaving because I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't think you can change someone who doesn't want to change.

[Slothium]

He has grown comfortable. You have been an effective comfort-giver and he has just laid back and accepted your comfort. Probably good to tell him that you will leave if he doesn't literally clean up after himself.

[Schnikies]

I think everyone experiences ups and downs in cycles and it can effect all sorts with self esteem and such. If he is as young as you he might not realise the importance of making an effort. try and sell him on the benefits of making an effort. If he is counter suggestible nagging will have the opposite effect you want. But sounds like he isn't valuing himself or his appearance. Talk to him and find out if anything is bothering him... job, education, family... it all makes a difference

[Kermite]

I experience the same with my girlfriend. The problem with her is that her selfesteem is going down when her weight goes up. I told her lately how i felt, after that she tried dieting.
I think it's best to open up to him to tell him how you feel. He can't change what he doesn't know is wrong.

[vittle1999]

Let him know that his attractive quotient has gone down to such a level that you are forced to leave him and see what he does. It seems that no matter how much you love him, he has gone beneath basic standards of decorum.

[Walrus_au]

you cannot change another person. that is up to them. You can only control your actions. If you decide you cannot live with things as they are, then your choice may be to leave. But you cannot expect or try to force a change on him.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

Thats kinda gross there's different reasons you can gain weight but b ad personal hygeine too? Make him shower or no sex lol and if he doesn't change find a new boyfriend you are young

[jersos1]

Talk to him or do stuffs to him that would surprise you... like giving him a shave one day... that would help him realise the importance of personal hygiene

[edgyfox]

I don't believe I attractiveness. I believe in personality.

[Asker]

Yeah I understand that. But do you believe in personal hygiene? What if you starting dating a girl that was one person then 2 years later is the complete opposite?

[edgyfox]

That won't happen for me because I'm happily single. I won't go beyond friendship.

[boochie0]

Sounds more like you're his mother than girlfriend talk to him about it!

[Asker]

I have.

[Anon-ymous1]

You've told him how you feel; what does he say about it in return?

[Decentguy]

tell him that you are gonna leave if he doesn't changes himself

[MikeHanel]

sounds like you now have a son...

[Asker]

That's how I feel it's a big turn off.

[MikeHanel]

been there before. Sometimes you just outgrow people. Don't let them hold you back. You only get one life. Make the best of it :)

[Anonymous]

What's his sex drive like? Yeah, it's relevant.

[Asker]

Good

[Opinion Owner]

Try explaining to him you'd be more interested more turned on, want it more, and more enthusiastic if he could keep himself back in shape and groom more.

[Monstarz]

maybe he is doing that to push you away?

[darkpsycer]

Be open with him, it's the best solution

[Hexxx]

Do you work out and take care of your appearance?

[Asker]

Yes that's why it irritates me so much bc he did the same when we first started dating then 2 years goes by and he looks and acts like 40 year old man but he's 19.

[Hexxx]

I personally don't believe that a guy and girl are supposed to be together for life. Maybe you can but it's a sacrifice that I'm not willing to make for someone who doesn't want to put in as much effort as me.

[burpzzzzz]

He's a country dude.

[TriTree]

Find another

[Anonymous]

Break up