Don't find my boyfriend attractive?

[ask223]

Okay so I have an issue. It's a superficial issue, but still. I'm not attracted to my boyfriend. Like when I first saw him I saw him as a guy I would probably never date. The thing is, when we started talking and I got to know him, I realized that he's the sweetest guy ever. He has turned into my absolute best friend I am completely in love with his personality and everything that makes him up on the inside. It's just hard because I really do love him so so much, I just really don't find him all that attractive. It's getting kind of annoying because all my friends tell me "you're still dating that guy? But you're so pretty!" Or "you could do so much better" and it breaks my heart because I care about him so much. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

[Dale1982]

Its not superficial lol. The sexual attraction is the whole thing nearly. The personality and that is just the embellishment not the other way around. Its the plain and the ugly trying to convince all the young ones that sexual attraction is just the sideshow and the main event is the feeling and all that shite lol. It ain't. Listen to you body and what it tells you coz it's right. Okay you like the guy might even love him but if you don't want him there's little point. He'll start becoming an obstacle and you'll end up resenting him, especially when you meet somebody you do want

[Casey10101]

im so so sorry, but I got to respect the guy, anyway, attraction, what are we talking a 5/10? 4? lower? coz a 5 or whatever can be down to how he dresses, take him shopping then and make it a shopping date or something. but otherwise, I dunno

[Casey10101]

the sorry is like, its sad that you ca'nt see the guy physically, forgot to mention ^

[ask223]

It's so weird and stupid at the same time because I love the way he dresses and he's a competitive athlete so he has a niceeeee bod but it's his facial features that really bother me. And I swear he never closes his moth with is really freaking annoying. I know that sounds shallow and I'm trying hard not to be because I really do love him. I just don't really know how to change the fact that I don't find him hot

[Casey10101]

I dont think you dont find him hot then, because you like his body and the way he dresses. but facial features, you just got to look past it then? thats something guys can't change, their face. it would just have to come down to loving him past the flaws.

[ask223]

Yeah I guess. And that's what I'm trying to do. Because I love the person he is but yanno? haha I'm not gonna break up with him- guess I'm just gonna have to learn to love it all. Thanks :)

[Casey10101]

there's no issue in thinking about that stuff, I think everyone secretly does, honestly, but I guess you accept it (especially when its something out of really anyones control) and then you dont become so annoyed by it.

[azzntittiz]

Don't date people you aren't attracted to, you do not love him you are 16, also if you loved him we wouldn't be having this conversation, you just feel guilty for not wanting to be with someone who probably is just trying super hard to snub a pretty girl, he might not really be nice, kids these days.

[ask223]

But like doesn't the fact that he knows he's dating a pretty girl just make the relationship a bit better? Like if he knows there's something to work for isn't he gonna put in more effort? We've been dating for over 6 months which in retrospect isn't a lot, but we've opened up to each other about a lot and I feel closer to him at the moment than I do to either one of my parents. He means the absolute world to me and he treats me so so good but I just don't know if I can change whether I find him attractive or not

[azzntittiz]

Well it's up to you really, I have found that when the man is aware that he's dating a girl others want, he can be insecure and abusive, but it's your life fuck it up if you like.

[Wonderer89]

Any girl who doesn’t tell her superficial friends to fuck off when they say something against her boyfriend doesn’t deserve him.
You say he’s sweet and lovely to you, extend him the same courtesy instead of letting people bad mouth his appearance

[redeyemindtricks]

Whenever you get sick of looking at his face, just lay him down, climb on top of it, and go for a ride.

#problemsolved

#fuckyeah

#getit

[ask223]

Hahahaha just saw this

[ask223]

Damn

[ask223]

I like u

[redeyemindtricks]

mahah ♥️

[dewatergirl]

Try not to let it bother you. Same thing happened with my now husband but his personality and our love for each other far outweighs his looks. Looks fade. Don't pay attention to what your so called "friends" say.

[qwert1234]

Well, you love him.

Are you not attracted to him because he's ugly? Or because of what other people say?
If you find him ugly (or not your type) - there's only so much you can do about it. Up to you if you want to hang on or leave. And for me, leaving a relationship because your partner is no longer attractive to you physically is fine.

If you find him not attractive because your friends tease you - then don't listen to them. What matters is you love this guy.

[Bonkitz]

You could know someone isn't all that handsome/pretty and still be attracted to them because of who they are as a person. What's more important to you? And who cares what other people think about him, do you like him or not, you're the one dating him.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Try to mitigate your lower instincts. We can't force ourselves to be attracted to someone, but we can train our sense of what we find attractive.
In our culture there is such a huge emphasis on sexualizing our partners and the instant gratification of being with someone attractive, but in our culture relationships are generally short, rare and miserable. Break the mold.

[lorenzo123]

I think that you should follow your heart and not what anyone has to say. It really shouldn't matter about looks, because you could find a guy that has the perfect looks and body but his heart doesn't matter. It's important in a relationship to do what makes YOU feel happy and not what people say. Good looks is very easy to find, but to find a heart that matches is very rare.

[JenDB]

Doesn't his personality make him attractive?
If you don't find him attractive in anyway but you "love" his personality and you have him like a best friend, you should break up.

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

Jesus Christmas the cringe I can't even answer this because, like God damn what if it was me..

[ask223]

Omg haha. Or what if he actually thinks this about me too loll

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

So like he that ugly?

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

Just read the other comments. So have you two had physical intercourse yet?

[ask223]

Yea the sex is so good honestly. Just like some of his facial features bother me. It's not even his bod lol and it's sucks because it's not something that can really be changed or anything but I don't know how to deal w/ it

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

But, like... there's a light switch.. you got a guy with a great bod, awesome personality, completes your world and gives you that bomb D and you complainin? You remind me of a cow because, the grass is always greener on the otherside... I think there's gonna be some girls in here that might rip you a new one for this lollol

[ask223]

Haha get your point. I'm just being a princess rn and I'm so so thankful for him so i should appreciate what I got. Thanks for your answer :)

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

Wtf does he do with his face that bothers you so much? I really gotta know lol

[ask223]

It's too late for me to be talking to people on the internet lol

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

It's when he stares into space with his mouth open isn't it?

[ask223]

Like I swear he never closes his mouth. Like idek how to describe it but I feel like all hockey players have this "duh" look where they literally just let their mouth hang open and it just makes me cringe all the time hahaha.

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

OMG that's such a easy fix...

[ask223]

And he does this annoying thing with his eyes where he'll bend down or something on purpose and then hardly move his face up but movie his pupils up to the top of his eyes and just stare at me with this freaking puppy dog eyes and it's so annoying to me

[ask223]

And his nose is annoying. That sounds so shallow lol but it's like big and crooked and shit and I don't know. I think he'd have a really hot fave if it wasn't for the nose and the whole mouth thing

[ask223]

Face*

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

Another easy fix he's just giving ya the "Clifford eyes"

[ask223]

Okay, easy fix, but how do I tell him?

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

I can't help yea, Cuz honestly girl another girl might love it better.. he deserves to be with someone who gonna give him that sweet pussy.. I don't know if you can do that since your not even attracted to him...

[ask223]

Hahaa I like you. Thanks for not giving bullshit advice. I love him a ton and am honestly just being a princess rn. Thanks for your help-appreciate it :)

[TheGuyNobodyKnows]

Night

[Guxci_28_03]

I Don't Think This Is Even A Problem, Your Friends Opinion On Him Shouldn't Even Bother You If You Really Love Him For Who He Is And Not What He Looks Like.

[annoyingu]

Hmm move on, make him not like you if you feel sad about making him hurt. Just use the i have a lot on my mind card.

[ask223]

Omg that's so mean. I still wanna date him. Like I don't even wanna think about breaking up because I really do love him for the person he is, I just don't know how to change the fact that I don't think he's hot lol. Like I'm not so superficial as to think that looks are all that matters in a relationship. I just don't know how to change my mindset.

[annoyingu]

Why do you car so much about the fact that he's not hot anymore if you think you're not superficial? It doesn't make sense.

[ask223]

I mean I'm dating him so I still want to find him attractive right? I just don't know how..

[annoyingu]

How does him not being hot in your eyes affect you?

[Blake0048]

This is why i make sure sexual attraction is established first before I even think of being with a girl this is why hooking uo first is important in my eyes. I never want to be in that poor man's position.

[vittle1999]

He can still be Ur best friend. You can still love him but not be attracted to jim

[ask223]

I still wanna date him though. Like I don't even wanna think about breaking up because I really so love him for the person he is, I just don't know how to change the fact that I don't think he's hot lol

[vittle1999]

U r in love with him as a person n not him as a face. He might not be hot to you face wise but he is hot to u inside. I think you fell for him rather than his face.

[ask223]

Isn't that a good thing though? Looks fade anyway...

[vittle1999]

You r with him for the right reasons ( not the superficial kind). Even if you don't date him in the future, you will have a great friend with you. All the best.

[COGK_]

If you break u with him for someone more attractive you run the risk of being treated like shit.

[Blake0048]

Thats the reason she shouldn't do it?

[ROCKS128]

Well u can talk this with him, I'm sure u can settle this nicely with him...

[Insanyx12]

Just give it more time and don't listen to others listenbto your heart

[Anonymous]

If it really bothers you don’t do it trust me I’ve done it before and it didn’t end well (if it’s soemtjing that really bothers you)

[bonezrx7]

You should be single then
I am single
Could be something sweet

[carl9a]

Stop listening to your friends. Listen to your heart

[Anonymous]

Then break up. You're leading him on.

[ask223]

I still wanna date him though. Like I don't even wanna think about breaking up because I really so love him for the person he is, I just don't know how to change the fact that I don't think he's hot lol. Like I'm not so superficial as to think that looks are all that matters in a relationship. I just don't know how to change my mindset.

[Opinion Owner]

By not giving a flying fuck about what your friends say.

[burpzzzzz]

You're a fool because looks fade in time. Look at the actresses when they were younger. They were hot but when they got older they are not so attractive anymore.

[Mr_Jolly]

Get better friends.

[MakingMeHiiiigh]

Break up with him