Am I wrong if I would find my boyfriend more attractive if he lost weight?

[Anonymous]

I love my boyfriend so much more than anything in this world and he's such an amazing man, but recently he's gained a lot of weight and i tried talking to him about his weight but he isn't doing anything about it and I dont find him as attractive as I did when he was more fit, am I shallow for feeling this way?

[DarkWinterNights]

I don’t think it’s shallow. You started dating him because you were attracted to how he looked, if he’s let himself go, I think he’s probably going through something. Try to figure out what that is and if you can help. Maybe get a gym membership and encourage him to join you. Or start hiking or biking?

[Asker]

Hey, I'm trying to delete this question do but I can't unless you delete this answer so if you can do this for me I'll be glad 🙏🏻 thank you

[Anonymous]

No you are not wrong
Every person must put effort if they want to be attractive/ presentable
Plus being in shape not only helps in being attractive , but also in being healthy

[Asker]

So how would I suggest approaching him with this, he's aware of his weight gain and he complain about it all the time I tried helping him but he won't do anything, should i hurt him or offend him in order for him to start pushing himself? I feel like that's the only way at this point

[Drumlin2001]

Why has he put on weight? What's changed in his life?

[Asker]

Nothing really he's just become lazy and eats a lot of junk food I think maybe because he works many shifts he just doesn't wanna do anything and feels tired or overworked.

[Sarahslater2345]

I have gained weight and my guy has lost attraction with me

[Asker]

I'm sorry hun, maybe he feels the way I do i know if I gained weight and my boyfriend talked with me about it I would try to lose it also for my own health and benefit maybe you should talk to him about it but if you're fine with how you look then don't change for anyone but yourself! The thing with my boyfriend is that he isn't ok with it he's just lazy and doesn't excersize and eats junk all day. For me I just want my boyfriend to understand that I think it isn't a good look for him and mostly for his health too I hate seeing him feel bad.

[Sarahslater2345]

So I’ve gained about 90 lbs since we met two years ago. I tend to carry it around my waist and tummy! A few months ago he started bringing it up to me and I also noticed he’s less excited to have sex with me. We have been arguing about it a lot and he continues to bring it up infront of people and then they chime in about “how I could lose a few lbs and should start optavia or an Arbonne diet” or how I should go with them to the gym. So I’m getting very annoyed wiht it and honestly I don’t feel like losing weight or working out. So that’s the big barrier between him and I and some of my friends also.

[Asker]

First off I'm sorry to hear that he embarrasses you in front of people that's really not ok and you should tell him that, no man should bring up his gfs weight to other people that makes him a coward but girl I've been In this situation with my last boyfriend and after we broke up I started to work on myself and when I lost the weight I felt so much better and more confident and healthier! You dont have to go to the gum you can take walks and listen to Music or do home workouts eat better and do it for you! I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from because I feel like that about my boyfriend right now but talk to him and make this change for yourself and health wise trust me you'll thank yourself ans feel so much better! But if your happy with yourself right now and aren't willing to change it than make that clear to your boyfriend

[Sarahslater2345]

The other day I ordered food at a restaurant with other people and he will make a face and say , “ are you sure you want eat that.” As he pats my tummy. And one his friends who is a personal trainer and dietician laughed and asked me to start going to the gym with her. It’s super embarrassing

[Sarahslater2345]

I’ve also had people ask if I’m pregnant and then when I say I’m not they look at him and have actually said… “well isn’t she lucky to be with such a fit guy” I live in Southern California by the way. So everyone has a small tummy

[Asker]

That's horrible nobody should ever comment on another person's weight and your boyfriend should defend you if anything, my question is how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel good with how you are or do you want to make that change?

[Sarahslater2345]

I don’t want to lose weight no lol

[Sarahslater2345]

I’ve been skinny my whole life I’m over it

[Asker]

So you do you hun! And let your boyfriend know that if he really loves you he'll stop fat shaming you because that's so rude and he needs to accept the fact that you're happy with yourself and if he can't accept that fund yourself a new boyfriend that won't embarrass you in front of everyone or let his friends laugh at you.

[Asker]

Find*

[Asker]

by the way not to be a stalker but I saw your pic on your profile and ill never compliment someone if I don't mean it but you're absolutely beautiful! and in all honesty you're very healthy looking I wouldn't say you're fat at all!

[Sarahslater2345]

I just have a big belly now lol

[Sarahslater2345]

But yea my face is cute