It is bad to admit I find my boyfriend more attractive after he lost weight?

[ItsJill]

My boyfriend has lost 16 lbs over the last month and I told him I find him much more attractive. I'm being honest, I was attracted to him when he was chubbier but the way he is now is peak for me, it's the way he got more confident about himself too and that he quit drinking too.

I take great care to keep myself fit and have some abs, I don't necessarily want him to be like me, but I find it attractive he taking care of his health and keeping himself in shape.

Am I being shallow? I just want him to be healthy and confident about himself.

[Finchie40]

If you loved him when he was chubby and drinking and you still love him now , that he lost some weight and quit drinking , that’s not bad to admit at all that you find him more attractive , cuz you still loved him no matter what , you are just happy for for his accomplishments. It can be hard for someone to quit drinking and to lose weight , so by him doing that just made you happy and proud of his accomplishments. And hopefully he did it for himself and didn’t just do it to appease you. So as long as you didn’t tell him he needs to lose weight or quit drinking for you , then you should be alright. But if you did tell him to lose weight and quit drinking to appease you , then you might of set yourself up for disaster , because he might resent you for making him feel like he wasn’t good enough. Which could push him to accept someone else or want someone else. Weight is a touchy subject to a lot of people , A lot of relationships can fail because a partner makes the other partner feel like they are not good enough because they gained some weight , so by making comments about your partners’ weight , can sadly make them resent you without you realizing they do. I have witnessed and experienced people cheating on their partners’ because their partner made comments about their weight gain , So hopefully you didn’t say anything to him to make him feel he wasn’t good enough , because if you did tell, don’t be surprised if he ends up screwing someone else.

[Makeushiver]

I don't think you're being fair to yourself when you ask if you are being shallow. We are all attracted to people we find attractive. If you were admiring him for his brilliant intellect rather than his degree of buffness you would not be any ;less shallow as he is even less responsible for his scintillating intellect than he is for his excess weight. From what I can see in your photo, you go to lengths to ensure you have a very attractive figure. Expecting him to do the same is completely okay. If his weight is due to a temporary medical condition over which he has little control but is nonetheless still trying to do what he can to remain fit that might be asking a lot for him to change as a condition of you being available but it sounds as if he is taking care of it. Having him health and with the self confidence that comes with being in shape is fine but you could have simply said that you feel as if he abrogated a contract ( which, if he gained a lot of weight and refused to do anything about it) would be true and there is no reason you need aside from you finding it unattractive. A relationship has many of the same characteristics of a contract and the person you were attracted to no longer exists if he is 50# heavier. I think that people in a relationship who have let themselves go to pot are acting disrespectfully to their partner. In a transactional sense, it's similar to retail sales tricks like bait and switch. The - usually unspoken- deal id that we are attractive and attracted to each other as we were upon first meeting and if that changes drastically it is not what you were attracted to. Hope this makes some sense.

[Raphaëlle]

A confidence boost can do a lot for a person and when that's paired with feeling healthier you can really see it in a person. If you like him as much as before the weight loss, I wouldn't think too much about it.

[linka_pat307]

Hey you aren't instead I see u as someone has noticed his efforts and is okay with the new him

[AI Opinion]

Sweetheart, as a relationship coach, I'm all about honesty and celebrating those *glow-ups*! 🎉 You're far from being shallow. Being open about heightened attraction due to positive changes, like confidence and health, is perfectly fine. Your encouragement is key. Love isn't static; it evolves, and you're appreciating his healthier lifestyle which is a great motivator. Keep being supportive and enjoy your journey together! 😘

[Summeroflove]

No it’s not shallow because you seem to genuinely like him for who he is as well as the fact that you seem to be a good influence on him. You seem to bring the best out of him so I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing no.

Now I get you probably have a good heart if you didn't have a good heart you wouldn’t give a damn. So keep pushing him don’t be naggy or demanding that will make a guy loose all interest fast lol. But you seem good for one another

[Summeroflove]

Make it like a fun game. Make him do push-ups until he’s exhausted just keep pushing him and cheering him on. Then when he can’t hardly move give him a massage.

[HungTexan]

You’re not being shallow, and you should encourage him to stay in shape. And admit it, you’d be pleased if he had abs as well. Being honest with him is good g both of you.

[ItsJill]

Yeah I would enjoy for sure if he had abs, but it's not a requirement on my part

[HungTexan]

Not a requirement, but an obvious plus. Just keep praising and encouraging him. 🥵

[FunkyMonkee]

Nom, it SHOULD be an incentive for him to keep it off! Besides, don't others tell him similar things? Why would it be a bad thing to hear it from his girlfriend?

[LiamS95]

He just made himself more attractive so why wouldn't you tell him and praise him a bit for looking after himself so he can better look after you.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s not shallow to support his journey to health. If you lost 15 pounds wouldn’t you want him to say you look better too?

[Ms_Facesitter]

No, I'm the same way. But I'm the one who made him gain weight in the first place 😈

[tzdc21]

You're attracted to someone who makes care of himself. As long as hus body isn't the ONLY thing that makes you attracted to him, then you're nit shallow.

[DaBiggestBird]

No, if anything it’s an affirmation to his efforts. He should feel accomplished.

[RingOfFire]

Of course you're not being shallow. This is completely normal. What normal person wouldn't want to be with someone who's more fit and healthier?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like honesty to me. There may be times when he feels the same about you.
The correct course is action is to reward him with more attention, appreciation, big and kisses.

[Flower7]

Nothing wrong with that.

[AviatorTom]

Not at all.

[shortster]

Nope, honesty is the best policy.

[JonCobretti]

Nope.

Make Fat Shaming Great Again.

[hello4433]

It's normal how you feel

[jahaims]

That's normal lol

[oldpigg]

Yes.