You're falling in love with someone's girlfriend. What should you do?

I fell in love with a girl who had a boyfriend. I confessed to her. She's not okay with that because she said she was straight until we became close and i feel that she loves me too. But she had a boyfriend. Should i walk away or stay with her?😔 You falling love with someone's girlfriend. What should you do??


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • Okay I read the comments too. I would say that is a confusing situation. Stick around but don't show too much interest. Just be friends with her meet new people. Maybe in the future. But for now just go with the flow of things and don't let yourself be roped into caring more than you need to. You can care about friends but there is a limit. Don't sleep with her anymore right now that would be the real test even naps! Good luck.

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    • 7d

      This is what im trying to do for months. But she treat me like im the one, she attacked me with kisses, hug me, hold my hand. See? How can i stop?

    • 1d

      Don't reciprocate but be nice!

  • I don't know... I would distance yourself and give it time. That sucks, and patience is hard, but you never know what the future could hold. As it stands currently, doesn't seem like you have much of a chance. Sorry. Good luck out there.

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    • 7d

      Agreed. I won't had a chance but i love you. And the only way to move on from her is waiting for me to love someone else

  • Walk away. Have respect for her current relationship. You might be miss reading her "love" and seeing what you want/hope to see? Regardless, she's NOT OK with it and/or willing to end it for you, so move on is what I would do.

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    • 7d

      Yes. I do respect her relationship with him. And im trying to move on but everytime i did. She did something to stop me do that. she fall for me too

    • 7d

      You may need to cut off all ties with her in that case. OR, she needs to make a decision one way or the other. Tell her that you can't continue this way as it's too painful for you.

    • 7d

      If i tell her i bet she will ask me to leave her

  • make sure she fall in with you too

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  • You are a disappointment to the Brotherhood of men... Men like you who jump on girls that have keepers and play sweet and nice.. Steep back and respect the man... Until they both deal with it without you interfering

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  • Depends on what you want out of this. Think about this though, if she’d be willing to leave her boyfriend for you, who’s to say she wouldn’t leave you for someone else.

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  • stay with her see what happens

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  • Wait it out and hope it plays out in your favor
    Wishing you the best♥️

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  • Stay with her as a friend if you choose to.

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  • Stay

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  • Dear that's for you to decide. But I do want to say something, 'survival of the fittest' :D

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  • If you develop feelings for someone who is with someone else, my opinion is you should keep it to yourself.

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    • 7d

      I shouldve not telling her about my feelings

    • 7d

      That's my opinion, yes. Find someone who is single. Or wait for her to be single.

    • 7d

      I'll wait for her. Untill i fall in love with someone else

  • No, since homosexuality is an abomination.

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  • Up to you, ultimately I look at it as you reap what you sow. If she leaves him cause she started to like you, how are you any different? She may do the same to you? I would let it just take it's course or move on.

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    • 7d

      Not sure with that bcs she's straight until she starting to likes me. Im the first women who made her feel it.

    • 5d

      Gender and orientation is irrelevant. If she is able to become attracted to and fall for someone else while still in a relationship, I would question whether she'd do the same to me in our new relationship.

  • walk away

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  • Stay away.

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  • I would make a firm choice. Either him or her.

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  • Just stay friends. Don't be a prick and potentially ruin a good thing they have going.

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  • walk away.

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  • Spaghetti is straight till you make it wet... make her want you... and see how it goes.

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  • You should talk to her. Just tell her what you're feeling and why you don't know what to do, and find out if she would be willing to break up with her boyfriend for you.

    This is, inevitably, a scary conversation but if you never have it you'll be stuck in limbo forever. If you feel like she isn't yet ready to go to you, wait a while and continue getting closer -- but don't push it, you don't want her to associate you with the guilt of being unfaithful to her S. O.

    Also, many people in today's climate aren't always willing to accept they're sexual orientation, or don't even recognize it for what it is. If you are in luck and she's bisexual or lesbian, she might not have realized it herself, so be wary of coming off as accusatory; people don't like other people to tell them who they are. Perhaps a good strategy would be to bring up sexual orientation in a comfortable setting, and just talk about it and yourself without telling her what she is. If she does happen to be bisexual or lesbian, she will likely start questioning herself, which may lead to self-realization or acceptance.

    When you feel that she's ready and you won't be ruining her emotional state too horribly (no matter what, she's likely to either going to lose a close friend or a boyfriend, so don't wait forever), have that conversation. Be aware that you may need to step away from her if it goes wrong.

    Myself, whenever I inform a friend (especially one in a relationship) and they don't reciprocate my feelings, I either step out of their life forever or (and this depends on how the conversation went and their personality) a couple weeks. If she says no, your relationship will change and unlikely for the better.

    I've been listing a lot of downsides to this, but I believe that you should seriously consider going through with it; I'm straight so I don't know this for sure, but I'm under the impression that it is harder to find comparable partners in the LGBQT+ community due to their smaller population, so I feel that you should not give up this chance for someone you truly care about.

    On top of that, I have had multiple friends that I cared about and never said anything to, and this has made me feel worse than if I get rejected.

    TL;DR
    You should probably go through with it, but make sure she's comfortable first and introduce the topic of sexuality slowly. Be aware that you will be risking your relationship, but you may come out with a perfect partner if it goes well.

    Good luck!

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    • 7d

      I did tell her about my feelings. But before i confess to her i show some effort like buying her flowers, bear and photo of her on her convocation and i did make a birthday surprised for her. I gave her necklace and cake. Then my friend told me to confess to her. The moment i tell her, she said it was wrong bcs she's straight and had a boyfriend. I keep my distance from her but she come to me. She went to my room and wanna sleep with me. I can't read her. Day by day she seems to show that she love me. But you know i can't have her bcs she really in love with her boyfriend.

      At the same time, she treat me so nice. I get jelous sometimes but that the risk of having feelings with someones girlfriend right? Every time i wanna walk away she keep coming to me. Like she dont wanna lose me.

      I get confius. I wanna keep my distance but its hard cus she's my roommate now and we play same sports and same club.

    • 7d

      In that case, the important part of my reply would be to talk about sexuality in a casual setting. Not about her, but about yourself and sexuality in general, so she may come to accept or realize it. It seems that she already is questing, but hasn't accepted it, so maybe talk about your coming out story or the like. You just want her to feel comfortable with the idea before you ask again.

      Waiting, like others have been saying, may be a good idea as well. She has a caring boyfriend, so if you wait while making her more comfortable, it's likely that her relationship may get rough at some point. Be there for comfort, but don't try to steal her away; it's a dick move. Instead, make her want to leave him for you by being a better person for her

    • 7d

      Yup. I will never steal her from her boyfriend. I respect her relationship and dont wanna ruin it. I'll just wanna make her realize who is better and who was there when she's sad and need someone to talk to.

      Even if we are not together i still wanna be there for her. Help her and take care of her.

  • Walk away and find someone else. I always feel bad for the person that they are leaving. Why can't people just go for someone that is unattached?

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    • 7d

      Everytime i wanted to walk away, she did something for me to stay. Seems like she dont wanna lose me.

    • 7d

      then she should leave before getting him hurt.

    • 7d

      Seems like she's comfortable with me

What Girls Said 5

  • Irs her decision to make. Not yours. Don't try to sway her too much. Tell her you're there for her no matter what she chooses, whether that be ad friends of as something more

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  • you should stay.. don't push her but stay

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  • How did she react when you confessed? Great image, by the way.

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    • 7d

      She said it was wrong for her. She said she's straight and have a boyfriend. But then i put effort on her. She seems like to love me. My friends told me that she loves me.

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    • 7d

      Awww thats cute.. Is he okay with that?

    • 7d

      He says we can try it for now.

  • Walk away.

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  • You should continue to talk to her because if you walk away, it'll ruin the relationship. She'll also ask why you walked away and you'll be corned. So don't walk away. Just continue to talk to her and just wait and see what the result was

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    • 7d

      Sure. Since i know that she loves me too. So i guess i should stay. One day she will realize who was there for her

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