I fell in love with a girl who had a boyfriend. I confessed to her. She's not okay with that because she said she was straight until we became close and i feel that she loves me too. But she had a boyfriend. Should i walk away or stay with her?😔
Most Helpful Guy
You should talk to her. Just tell her what you're feeling and why you don't know what to do, and find out if she would be willing to break up with her boyfriend for you.
This is, inevitably, a scary conversation but if you never have it you'll be stuck in limbo forever. If you feel like she isn't yet ready to go to you, wait a while and continue getting closer -- but don't push it, you don't want her to associate you with the guilt of being unfaithful to her S. O.
Also, many people in today's climate aren't always willing to accept they're sexual orientation, or don't even recognize it for what it is. If you are in luck and she's bisexual or lesbian, she might not have realized it herself, so be wary of coming off as accusatory; people don't like other people to tell them who they are. Perhaps a good strategy would be to bring up sexual orientation in a comfortable setting, and just talk about it and yourself without telling her what she is. If she does happen to be bisexual or lesbian, she will likely start questioning herself, which may lead to self-realization or acceptance.
When you feel that she's ready and you won't be ruining her emotional state too horribly (no matter what, she's likely to either going to lose a close friend or a boyfriend, so don't wait forever), have that conversation. Be aware that you may need to step away from her if it goes wrong.
Myself, whenever I inform a friend (especially one in a relationship) and they don't reciprocate my feelings, I either step out of their life forever or (and this depends on how the conversation went and their personality) a couple weeks. If she says no, your relationship will change and unlikely for the better.
I've been listing a lot of downsides to this, but I believe that you should seriously consider going through with it; I'm straight so I don't know this for sure, but I'm under the impression that it is harder to find comparable partners in the LGBQT+ community due to their smaller population, so I feel that you should not give up this chance for someone you truly care about.
On top of that, I have had multiple friends that I cared about and never said anything to, and this has made me feel worse than if I get rejected.
You should probably go through with it, but make sure she's comfortable first and introduce the topic of sexuality slowly. Be aware that you will be risking your relationship, but you may come out with a perfect partner if it goes well.
Most Helpful Girl
Irs her decision to make. Not yours. Don't try to sway her too much. Tell her you're there for her no matter what she chooses, whether that be ad friends of as something more1