Are goodbye text to an ex a good idea?

Hi guys! I broke up with my boyfriend almost 3 weeks ago. One day he stopped calling or texting me back...when I finally got a hold of him he said his phone was disconnected. I asked him why he didn't call me from the land line that's in his room. He said point blank I just didn't want to deal with it. I was shocked because we hadn't argued in months. We were happy or so I thought. He told me he cared but not as much as he should. I feel used and abused and want to move on but feel like I need to tell him exactly how I feel in order to do so. I don't want to call because he won't answer. I want to text him that I miss him and that I care but I hate how played I feel because he led me on and made me fall in love with him when he knew deep down he could care less. is this a good idea? or will I look dumb and desperate. This guy is always used to getting his way and no one ever tells him how rude he can be.He always shrugs everything off and acts like he doesn't care about anything when deep down he does. Please advise guys?

ps. he's 26 years old and I'm 24 shouldn't he be more mature?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's strange, because I am myself pondering the idea of sending a goodbye text to my ex girlfriend. We broke up in May, and tried to remain friends, but we have got to a point where I can no longer see any benefit in being her friend. She broke up with me, and now she's in a brand new relationship, and is avoiding seeing me or talking to me because she doesn't want to take the chance of re-igniting an old flame, which I can understand. So, I don't really see the point in keeping something that's at a dead end. (And I say all that so you know where I'm coming from when you read the rest of this).

    It's a good idea sending a goodbye text if you don't mind the concequences, and are emotionally and mentally prepared for the chance you'll never see or hear from them again. It gives you the chance to say what you want, and you have time to think it through. It can give you a chance at clousure and to tie up all the loose ends, and can give you satisfaction that you have said all that you wanted to say, and you can now move on from it. Even if they don't reply to it, or respond emotionally, you can be safe in the knowledge you've said what you wanted to say, and there's no sense of anything being left unsaid. It's tough though, because you might end up severely regretting the decision months down the line.

    I don't think you'll look dumb or desperate if you word it correctly. Say your piece clearly with a sense of authority and control, explaining whatever you have to say. If you come across as an emotional mess, things won't go the way you want them to and matters could get worse, or it may be a missed oppertunity and leave you frustrated you didn't get to say what you wished. If you're ready to move on without him in your life, then you could say your piece and get on with things.

    • I know your right. I'm doing it but not for him but for me. I'm not expecting a reply which is fine.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm in a similar place. Deciding on whether I should send that last email, saying everything that needs to be said. I've tried a few times, and can never do it. I've just stop replying to my ex at this point, because I have nothing left to say. In my opinion, if you have reached the point where you can honestly send a 'goodbye' message, and actually mean it as a goodbye, I'm done, I'm moving on - then the truth is you shouldn't have to send it all. With my ex, it is 100% clear she has been disgusting, but she won't accept any of that. Nothing I say can change that. So what I've had to accept is that my moving in is all down to me. So sending a message or not sending should have no weight on your moving on at all. Can you honestly say you won't expect a response from him? What happens if it doesn't come? I would leave the past as the past. It's not your responsability to tell your ex how wrong they were. Thye will learn it in life sooner or later.

  • I wouldn't waste the energy. If he feels guilty that he wronged you then it is done. If not your text won't change it and only frustrate you more. Meet someone new and be happy, that's the best revenge.

    • Thanks I Know your right. But I'm completely against dating anytime soon. I feel super burned My guard is up so high followed by steel walls and barbed wire lol

    • You certainly need some time but don't let a bad experience ruin you for the person who will make you happy and you will make happy. Don't keep the guard up too high, every steel wall should have a gate.

    • Hahaha very true. I guess your right:)

  • who dumped whom?

    • I broke up with him. He was acting distant and stopped calling. He said he cared blah blah blah....but not as much as he could because he couldn't allow himself to fail....So I felt like didn't have the guts to end it. so I did. but now I think back and realize all the times he would act weird I thought it was me and it wasn't it was him trying not to care. So what do you think?

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    • Well I texted Him...No reply. I expected it. I will give us both the space we need. If its meant to be maybe somethin will happen. But I'm gonna move on. I seriously looked into the relationship and he was hot and cold the entire time I just noticed it towards the end because I wanted something better for myself. Thanks for all the advice.

    • I hear you.well good luck

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