Would you date someone until you find someone better?

Question

Dating a guy who I used to be friends with until I find someone better. I'm going away this April for a few months abroad and he knows this. But kind of feel like I'm just using him for the time being.

We fancy each other and as awful as it sounds. But is it that bad? Feel a bit guilty. He thinks I'm the one. But I want to spend my early 20s finding out the type of guy that I'm into and don't expect any relationships in my early 20s to end up in marriage. He's a nice guy but going to break up with him before I go away. What you date someone until you find someone better matched to you?

ErnestSamuels · Accepted Answer

Dating this guy until you find someone better?
And do you have a clue of what "better" looks like? How many dicks you planning to suck until your find MR. RIGHT, sweetheart? How far up the ladder you wanna climb, eh? Hey, maybe if you screw over a few dozen guys in your twenties, constantly looking for someone "better", you'll end up as the Queen of FUCK MOUNTAIN! 😆
Sorry to spoil it for you, but there is no MR RIGHT. As humans, we're all deeply flawed. Perhaps, instead of fucking your way through the jungle, searching for fuck knows what, hoping to find out what kind a guys you like, maybe spend more time on becoming less judgmental and more compassionate towards people who put their trust in you. Be honest with yourself and with other people. Always.
One more point. You already know what guys you like. You just wanna screw away your most fertile years. Don't believe me? I can save you the trouble of having to bang a bunch of dudes to gain some kind of revelation by just telling you what you like. Chances are you're not special and you like pretty much the same shit that other women like: a genuine man, quite well off, making more money than you, physically healthy, taller, squared jaw line, slight stubble, deeper voice, about 4 years older than you, average size penis, a good social circle. Emotionally he's not too soft, but not too cold, someone capable of displaying manly aggression and gentle tenderness when necessary. He is compassionate, dominant, confident, and a bobcat in the sack! And he's no pushover. He doesn't allow you to do whatever you WANT to do. He is steering the relationship, and you trust his judgement. He will argue with you to make his point clear so you understand. He will set boundaries and you will test them to see if this guys for real or if he's a bitch.
That's basically the man you want. Biologically, 99% of females are hardwired to seek these traits in men.
You're welcome. But I doubt you care. You wanna jump on the cock carousel anyways. Well, go ahead. Sexist fucks like me are already on it.

skytatoe · Accepted Answer

You don't feel like you're using him. You ARE using him.
No I wouldn't date anyone as a placeholder. I would date someone because I want to date them.

Unless you're very explicit with them that they're a placeholder for you and they are ok with it, I think thats a pretty shitty thing to do.

We all make mistakes OP, don't be hard on yourself, but you know its wrong cause you feel guilty. So cut it out for your own sake, or you will be at risk of developing a shitty self image.

inlovewiththesun · Accepted Answer

guess what, I asked myself the exact question only today and was trying to overthink my view on dating I had. The past time, I thought like "na you can have friends with benefits, you can just make out with people or you can see what you get and feel like." But recently, many of my friends started "dating" someone new they barely knew, right after breaking up with their past boyfriend. When I say right after, I mean it.

So I was thinking like, is this what you´d want? A boyfriend, just to have a boyfriend? just to fill a hole? Just to not feel alone? To feel valued?
is that even necessary in my life? Why is it not enough for most people to get their emotional satisfaction and being in balance with yourself out of yourself, why do they all need another person to feel better (I don´t exclude myself).

But you know what I´m currently far away of having a thing with anyone, and even further away from dating someone. I don´t wanna just date someone. I was rethinking my values and views, and came to the conclusion that I:
1) don´t even have time for dating right now lol. I go to school, I´ll accept a small job soon, I have homework, studying to do, meeting friends AND having driving lessons. There´s even barely time for myself, so how can I even make time for someone else?
2) I don´t wanna start dating unless I love that person.

I dated before, without loving them. It was more like a tryout. I had a thing with people and kissed around. But now, I don´t want that bullshit anymore. Love or leave, that´s my new motto. And as long as I don´t feel the butterflies, I´ll concentrate on something more important, like all the other crap I listed and have to do in my life. One day, Mr. Right will come. But I don´t wanna waste my time waiting for him and feeling unwanted and bad.

Elliegirl · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t do that. It’s going to hurt him. I don’t really see a point in placeholder boyfriends either. You may be missing opportunities because there may be a guy who really likes you and you two would be great together but he won’t ask you out or make a move because he thinks you’ve got a real boyfriend instead of a guy you would leave if you meet someone better. Keeping a guy around until something better comes along is kinda like he’s just your rubbing post with a pulse. its a red flag to lots of guys if you leave another guy to be with them too. They think if you left one guy to be with him, what’s stopping you from doing the same think to him, and justifiably so. Just food for thought. Ultimately you have to decide this for yourself and accept the results of your choice.

Samathoo · Accepted Answer

Everyone has flings. He knows your going away so he shouldn’t expect the relationship to continue super long. When you’re young you’re suppose to date other people and figure out what you want. I feel like everyone’s so serious. Ignore everyone that says it’s horrible and that you’re gonna hurt him. He knows what’s up, so if he gets hurt it’s on him. He will get over it anyways. Have fun!

XRabbitHeartX · Accepted Answer

No... that makes no sense. The person you date and are with should be the person who is the best for you and who you want. If you are already aware in your heart there is somone supposedly better out there in a relationship then you are just a really crappy person for leading someone on.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Yes, dating someone who you know wants a serious relationship with you although you don't want a serious relationship with them is wrong. You are taking advantage of his affections to provide entertainment for yourself in the interim and, the longer you date him, the harder the breakup will be for him.

I understand that this satisfied your needs but relationships are not about me, me, me. Relationships are about us, about making the other person's feelings and their needs as important as your own feelings and needs. That means that if you continue this relationship any longer, you are proceeding with a callous disregard for his feelings. The best thing you can do for him is to break up now.

You already know this, don't you? Doing it is the difficult part and I would not want to be in your position. However, if you do the right thing now, you will have a reason to be proud of yourself and it will be one of many steps that prepare you for eventually being a good partner in a long term relationship.

ChronicThinker · Answer

Nah, I'm not a piece of shit willing to fuck with someone like that. I tend to only settle for what I find ideal, otherwise, I fly solo, focus on my life, my goals.

AudreyB88 · Answer

Yes, if it's just 'dating' and not an exclusive relationship. I wouldn't want to be with the person for more than 3 dates though and I would discuss how I actually feel about them. I would need to be partially interested in this person as least.

Logorithim · Answer

I've never done this, and can't imagine doing it. That's just wrong.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Nah man I will not drag some innocent person to fill the void in my life. That's cruel

nightdrot · Answer

There is something primal in what you are doing. In nature, our female ancestors were looking for the mate who could best provide healthy sperm, ward off rival males and predators and find food.

So, at least at that level you can justify your actions.

Some justification. Supposedly, humans are the only creatures on the planet who transcend their instinctual natures. Raise a baby wolf to be the best wolf it can be - it will still be a wolf. Raise a baby to be the best baby it can be, and it may write sonnets or cure cancer.

Congratulations, you've managed to rise to the level of a wolf.

You may wish to consider that you are playing with another human beings feelings. You may wish to consider how you would feel if - when you find that better guy - he did the same to you.

If this guy is not the guy for you, then have the basic decency to tell him. It'll hurt him, but it will also allow him to move on and find someone who cares about him for him. Not just see him as a stepping stone to the next better offer.

liTeWave · Answer

You are seriously using this person. How would you like to be seriously and repeatedly used sexually and emotionally by a guy you are in love with, and then discarded? Jesus, it would be seriously traumatising. That is a truly horrible thing to do to someone. You are going to hurt this person really, but really badly.

He is literally having sex with you not on the basis of free, informed consent but on the basis of deception. That's basically rape, you are obtaining his consent under utterly false pretences. And you're not just fooling him into sex, but also into developing an emotional connection you intend to shatter. Wow.

And the worst thing is, it's absolutely fine to date someone until you find someone better. It's called having fuck buddy. But then you have to be utterly clear with the other person that that's what you want, and you need their free, informed consent to that kind of relationship (and there are lots of people who will be happy to have that with you). There really is no reason why you should be doing this to someone. You could easily acheive the same thing you're doing now by being honest, and without hurting anyone.

Jesus, these questions make me lose faith in humanity.

Laurens_ · Answer

You should date somebody because you love them and see a future with them. At our age getting to know what you really need in a person and a relationship also comes with that. The person might turn out to be not what you need and you learn from it and move on, until you find that one that meets your needs you learnt by all the previous experience and settle with that. The way you think only focuses on striving for the best, but that is the wrong focus. I hope it's clear what your focus should be now. Remember that how much experience you have, how much you know what you need in a relationship... Nobody is perfect, you might think somebody else might be even better. The hard truth is, he might be better in some aspects and then you'll realise he lacks in some things your previous partner had. After a while, you are 'experienced' enough and know well enough what you need. Then you'll settle and with what I said, that person you decide to settle with is the best. Striving for better won't get you far then.

Imafreespirit · Answer

What you’re doing is so wrong... and no, i would never do something like that. Dating just coz is absolutely ridiculous in my eyes. Are you that unhappy with being single? If I date someone is because I truly like the person and I’m willing to risk it and see where it goes... otherwise, I’m fine with being single coz I’m happy with my life, I don’t need from anyone to make it better. Dating someone is a nice addition, not a need so I’d never date someone just for the sake of it. It’s so unfair. You’re using the person, i honestly don’t understand why you think that doing that is okay. Playing with peoples emotions is not a nice move

davidrslopes · Answer

Look, I don't care about you and I think you are wrong and being unfair to that poor guy.. the truth is, he doesn't deserve you and you deserve worse.

So I already know what is going to happen to you: Karma.

You are going to breakup with this good guy and break his heart, you will meet a giant fucking asshole fall in love and at first you think this is right and he is going to fuck you up so bad and be such an asshole with you that you will be in that relationship and think of this good guy all the time.

Eventually things are going to end and you will try to get this good guy again and he is going to say, too late, you should thought of that when you dumped me for an asshole, now I'm an asshole too.

You created an asshole from a good guy. Great job.

Jmcmanning · Answer

I have dated guys but I always told them upfront I don't want a relationship so please don't expect one. He is being mislead if you have not disclosed this information to him. Whether you are just dating or in a relationship, communication is important so everyone knows where they stand. If you know you have no romantic interest in this person, then why continue to date? Personally, that doesn't make any sense to me. Not only are you ruining your chance of meeting someone else, but you are ruining his chances for meeting a female who will apprciate him and want to be with him.

Amylia · Answer

If it would be just casual sex/friends with benefits then that's fine. Any relationship.
But if I would see that he is into me and I am not, then I would break it off as fast as possible. It actually happened to me. And I had to stop this before he will be into me too much. Because the longer we would have something together, the more he would think about me and get more in love... And I didn't feel it at all. And I find it totally unfair.
Just put yourself from the other side.
Imagine you find the one, the guy from your dream that you really love and you are crazy about him. And then bam he says he actually just wanted you for a while but he was going to break up with you from very beginning.

loveslongnails · Answer

Let me understand this... the guy has told you he thinks you're the "one", as in he'd marry you in the future. He knows you're going away, but he doesn't know you don't feel like he's the one, or even close, and you'd dump him in a heartbeat if you met someone you liked better, right? If that is correct, what would you think if the situation were reversed, and you go dumped before he went away? You'd think the guy was an asshole, and you'd be right. So... yes, you're being an asshole. You feel guilty because... wait for it... you're being an asshole. It would be different if he KNEW his love for you was in vain but accepted that just so he could spend whatever time you graced with around you. But he doesn't. Put your big girl panties and go tell him right NOW, and stop "acting" like an asshole, because you're probably a pretty thoughtful person otherwise... right?

SomeStrangeGirl · Answer

I would never want to date a guy I don't see a future with. That's not only leading him on but its super cruel to make him fall in love with you and you holding him at the heartstrings just to think he isn`t good enough for you. Girl if you feel like he isn't good enough why date him? Like you are just wasting both yours and his time. I'm not gonna lecture or fuss to you about this but you should understand how this is not only bad for him but also bad for you. If you are with this poor guy and the guy you really would want sees or knows you are with him you can kiss your dream man goodbye because he probably wouldn't make a move towards a taken girl.

Sorathevilone · Answer

I know it maybe the way you worded it and it more than likely is just me. I would not play with someone like that and if your not happy with it then that's fine but if your just with him because there is no one else than you come across as a bit narcissistic for they will "monkey bar" from partner to partner to find someone they can manipulate and gain their supply from. Am not saying that is what your doing am simply explaining where am coming from. Am also not judging you for it this is just my opinion and nothing more.

Whisperhead · Answer

I think your choice to string him along like some kind of plaything is going to cause him very serious problems with trust later in life.
If you know you are going to break up with him soon, why not tell him the truth now and see if he finds it acceptable or not?

I suspect the reason you haven't done this already is because you know you are using him and you know what reaction you will get, but are afraid to face the consequences.

Quite frankly I think your behaviour is deplorable. I've been treated in a similar way, and it caused me nothing but misery and confusion.

You should treat others as you wish to be treated, life is hard enough without purposeful heartache and suffering. If he really feels for you as he says he does, you shouldn't abuse it.

As for me, I treat my partners with respect.

EpicDweeb · Answer

I wouldn't, it just seems like an asshole move like you're leading them on. Then again my approach to dating and relationships is different from most people. I plan to treat dating as a "are we good enough together for this to be a life long thing. Basically is marriage a good idea." I also intend not to start out by dating. If a girl isn't first and foremost my best friend I'm not gonna dare her. I'd be risking infatuation and all sorts of other bad choices. Dating your best friend takes away many of the usual issues in relationships. You know the person likes you for you, you know you can deal with any arguments because you've learned how whilst being friends, you can know even afree you fall out of love that you'll still like each othere and want to stick together etc. I dunno dating til you find something better seems like you're just being an a-hole and as sincere as you may be in a relationship while it lasts... you're still not being loving toward's the person.

Isopsis · Answer

Yes? But with huge caveats... If, while dating someone who I fancy, someone comes along that is 10 times better and for some unknown reason is 10 times more attracted to me than my current girlfriend... sure, why not? But I would NEVER enter a relationship that I was CERTAIN I would break off eventually. Ehat really concerns me about your question is your use of "we used to be friends." The person you date should be your BEST friend. That status shouldn't change just because a romantic aspect was added into the friendship.

Doctor_Strix · Answer

OMG! Babe? What are you saying? You agreed we were soulmates! You said that you loved me! You wanted a future with me! We looked at houses together. Even looked at rings! I even held your hand when you were really constipated and literally gave birth to a turd the size of pug! We named him Asphault, and flushed him away. This has meant nothing to you? Only because you want somebody better? Because you’re young? My god, my world is dead. My sun is burnt out. You’re a monster. A freak. A killer of hearts.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Look at the big picture here. If many girls did what you're doing, then by the time you came to date guys seriously they'd all be heartbroken, have trust issues, never open up, and be likely to just want hookups to avoid being messed with emotionally. So you'd never find the quality man you want. Your actions are going to make great guys bitter about woman and therefore more closed off so you're just hurting your future dating prospects.

joshctlee · Answer

If you know you don’t love this guy, then why are you leading him on? He’s developing feelings for you, and you’re ready to just rip him apart. Truth is you will always find better guys, even if you’re dating somebody who seems perfect to you. There will still be someone better. Love Isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. You can love anybody you want through choice and determination. Why would you choose not to love someone who is choosing to love you? If you pass opportunities like this guy you may accidentally love the douche bags who don’t love you.

Anonymous · Answer

It IS that bad.
He's not an old pair of shoes you can throw away after getting new ones. You're just toying with a human. It's so sad to hear that he thinks someone like you is the one.
After you, at least he'll learn to pick better next time & not every desperate chick who he crosses paths with.
Please understand, you're saying he thinks you're the one... that means he's already thinking about you so much with great intentions and emotions. And you're throwing him away when you have no need for him anymore. Can you honestly not think of this action/behaviour like that of an emotionless scum?
Poor guy.

Guanfei · Answer

No. As someone who have been used to different degrees, I couldn't just use someone until I"find better". Either she's the one I want, or she's not, and if she's not, I don't date her.
And you should feel bad, because not only you're using him to not feel lonely, but you're also not honest because you didn't tell him.
You let him believe it's serious because you don't want to lose him and be alone again, it's selfish and dishonest.
Break up with him as soon as possible, let him have a chance of being happy with someone worthy of his love.

levantine99 · Answer

you are a chauvinist manipulator in a female version. you are dragging him along. are you that incapable to stay single even for a couple of years till you find someone you like? did you have to steal and chain someone's heart?

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t blame you for keeping your options open. However, you two are not on the same page and you misleading him is extremely unfair. I generally prefer to be honest with who I’m with. Yes, I would do what you are doing, dating someone for the sake of keeping them until I find someone more fulfilling. However, it should be brought up that the relationship is somewhat “casual” and there is no expectation of marriage. A matter of “seeing where it can lead” and a lack of pressure on the relationship in itself.

lady_loveless · Answer

I think what you're doing is kind of awful. That's not how it works. You date people because you wish to see where things go, if you start to feel that they're going nowhere you explain your feelings and leave. That's how you learn what you want in life, by going through genuine relationships with people you who you genuinely care for and hope for the best and learn for the worst, if you're not emotionally capable to handle this stick to flings and the single life until you're ready. Playing with someone's heartstrings out of boredom or for you own benefit is so cruel, and one day, if you keep doing what you're doing, when you finally think you've found "the one", he'll most likely just do the same thing right back to you. It doesn't pay to take the low road in life.

ambarlee25 · Answer

I'm in this rn. I found out through a friend that my ex was just 'content' being with me until he finds someone better. I feel like he's using me for all the relationship benefits instead of living alone. when he did find someone 'better' he instantly began treating me like a friend. he talked about her and how in love he was with her.
that experience definitely changed me. I tend to have trust issues now and a lot of people don't understand it

PoseyPizzaPower · Answer

Honestly, no I wouldn't date someone "for the time being" and I think it's horrible that you are! Knowing that he thinks you're 'the one' is even more shameful seeing as he's probably doing all he can to keep you happy, but you knowingly (and this is sheer assumption) and silently keep him at a distance because soon you'll leave. I don't know your situation fully but I was in a similar predicament and believed, TRULY BELIEVED, that no distance could be a factor to our relationship; she did and was planning the same as you. I think it's wrong and you shouldn't treat a "friend" like this. What's the point of dating someone if you're immediately thinking of being with someone else?

TamedSoul · Answer

I don't think any guy is going to want you if you're that selfish. He should of been aware of the situation and your feelings. Don't lead people on if you're not serious. You're just gonna scar and break this guy for the next girl he's in a relationship with.

I don't know if women know this or if it's the same for you girls. But guys didn't kill chivalry you did. Some of you are highly undeserving.

HOAAH · Answer

serious dating is like for marriage for me. So i would NOT date someone just until there was someone better that came along.
That's like I am lying to them, that I like/love them when I am actually using them. I would feel seriously troubled when I am with them if i did that.
The first person I slept with and had real sex with I married him.

I don't understand people who just want to date someone to "date" them until they find someone better. People aren't stuff, they have feelings.

pedror0231 · Answer

I'm sorry but that is a horrible thing to do to someone. You know full well he thinks you're the one for him. The one he wants to be with. You are just using him. It would be different if he felt as you did. You just can't face being alone so you are using that poor man. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Anon85 · Answer

It's cruel. You're an adult woman not a little girl. Grow up and end it now before you hurt him even more. That's a terrible thing to do to someone. What about his "someone better"? You're wasting his life away for your convenience when he could have found someone he could truly love that actually felt the same way.

Get over yourself, break up with him and don't even consider such a selfish and despicable act again

Ghost_Woof · Answer

The thing about being young is you don't know enough about relationships to know what all is out there and what you like and don't like. However you could lose a guy you didn't realize was better than most until after he's gone. So be careful with how you end your relationships...

Nate22 · Answer

Doing this is mean but I get where you're coming from. Next time try to make your intentions clear before you start a relationship. Some guys are only looking for temporary relationships as well so maybe you can find someone that you don't have to break their heart.

vincjh · Answer

If you are aware there are better people, why continue your current relationship? Why drag him further along for a few more months where he might fall deeper in love? Are you afraid to be lonely for now? Personally, if I knew there were better people out there, I would "fall out of love" with my current partner, and couldn't stand to stay together.

DrSteiner · Answer

Totally not okay, at least you feel guilty. If one day you're doing something like this and don't feel guilty, you have successfully your consciene.
That is using someone out of what? Boredom? Fear of loneliness?
Exploiting someone is never right. And its pretty easy to see, i mean how would you feel?

destinybringer · Answer

No. I would be extremely mad if someone wasted my time (and money) doing this and not ever intending to try for something more in a relationship. If you want a relationship like that, whether for sex or just company, you need to be up front with the person about it and they have to be okay with it.

bloodblade454 · Answer

No don't break up with him before you leave especially if he thinks you're the one it will mess up his whole world he'll be crazy he'll message you Non-Stop begging for you to come back to him at least wait till you find someone else then break up with him it'll be a little easier for him to take

Musicgeek21 · Answer

Absolutely not. I take dating very seriously and I won't even bother going past a first date if I can't see her as a potential future spouse and she feels the same way. I think it's terrible to use others for emotional and sexual gratification without the intent to pursue it further. You are toying with someone's feelings and thats not fair to them. The only case where this would be acceptable, in my opinion is if you continue to go on dates to check for further compatibility.

sonnypie · Answer

I'm sorry, but these actions are disgusting. Seems to me like he is the one deserving better.

Sorry for the attack. Now to answer your question. No I would never do that, because to me, humans are not the means to an end. Also being untrue to myself would make me feel irrational and full of contradictions. Also I wouldn't be happy if I didn't feel the same way. Lastly I don't think there are anything "better or worse" its about subjective taste.

Wraithguy · Answer

Not telling him how you feel makes you at fault for not communicating.
And your planning to jump out of this relationship, into another when you find someone "better"?
You need to fix yourself hun. You lack being independently happy and looking to others to do it for you.
Not to mention thats a recipe for cheating as your probably going to sleep with the new guy b4 you dump the guy your with.
This is not a healthy way to think

Keyboardkat · Answer

I really don't think it's fair to do that to someone. You're basically using him but have no intention of having a real relationship with him because you are saving yourself for that "someone better." I think that's cold, calculated and cruel, the three deadly "C's."

tek555_pessimist · Answer

No way. I am a cruel person sometimes (though I do try not to be), but there are some things that I view as limits. If I am going to have an emotional connection with someone, that is something that I treasure. To act in such a way would be a denial of my basic ethics, and would be something I would regard as abhorrent if someone else did it to me.

PenguinLover00 · Answer

Dating is to find "the one" not to waste time.
Here's what I did, I made a list of all the things I would want in a future husband. Now when I'm dating, I can tell pretty soon if the guy is right for me. If he isn't, I end it.
When I say "list of things I want" I'm talking about; if he would be a good parent, if he is a loving family member, if he treats people with respect, and also a bunch of things like, does he cook.
But I get what you mean, and It's ok

mxryk52 · Answer

In my experience, if you know the person you're dating just to date to waste time or what ever, it's just gonna hurt in the long run. Either you or him or both. Feelings and emotions are hard to mess with, even if you both know what it is. That's what I did essentially. Dated this guy cause I didn't wanna be alone until I found someone else kinda. And the longer I let it go, the more it hurts now that it's over - even though I KNEW we both weren't in love and he wasn't the one. I don't know. I'd just end it, just do you and be u until you do find the one and date to see if he will be the one. If that makes sense

rmsantos · Answer

When you phrase it like that it sounds much worse than it probably actually it. If you know for sure that he isn't the one and that you are going to break up, then either end it immediately or be up front with that. The reality is that every day you're in the relationship with him is another day that either of you could be meeting the actual person of your dreams.

I'm in favor of casual dating as long as your up front with your expectations, and it's fine if you don't know one way or another and are just having fun. But I think the difference is that once you know it won't work it's on you to end it for both of your sakes.

azzntittiz · Answer

It's perfectly fine, they do it all the time. Sometimes they ruin the woman's life and plan before they move on. At least you didn't get him pregnant, many early relationships are temporary. We don't marry the first person we date, that would be stupid.

UnaKaizen · Answer

well people DO that of course, but its not good to not keep the other person apraised of the situation. you say im dating casually. you dont become exclusive. thats cruel in my opinion, i think nothing wrong with dating casually. but they should know.

Baby-Lapis8 · Answer

I won't do that cause it's just leading them on to a dead end. Relationships should be based out of love, trust, honesty, loyalty, communication, etc... if you like someone and want to form a deeper relationship go for it but just dating them until you find someone else is just messed up and rude. He might actually be falling in love with you. You'll end up breaking his heart and his self-confidence. You won't like it if someone did that to you.

ShaunaM95 · Answer

Nope I wouldn’t. I think it’s best you’re honest with him just to keep from leading him on and hurting him.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s pretty cruel. I avoid dating people unless I’m willing to at least contemplate being in a long term committed relationship with them. The whole dating just to fill time, avoid being alone, or fuck is kinda nonsensical. If you’re bored learn a skill. If you don’t like being alone go to therapy. If you’re horny masturbate. Don’t involve other people in your bullshit especially if you know it’s bullshit.

Appless · Answer

I think it’s wrong if he doesn’t know how you feel, if you told him and he was okay with it then that’s fine in my opinion. Just tell him the truth so he knows that he’s being used to some degree.

the_nice_guy_ · Answer

Well you wouldn't know who is "the one" until u get to know that person... so yeah u gotta... but make sure you tell him everything before... and one more thing.. when you already know he ain't the one... why still troubling the "nice guy" . Tell him already..

rjroy3 · Answer

No, but that's because I'm not quick to get into a relationship anyways.

To me a relationship is for love. You don't get into a relationship because you've been seeing them "long enough" or get into that, when you know you're still looking around. Sure you might click, enjoy their company and have good sex. But all of that can happen without love being present and if you don't love them it's a bad idea to get into a relationship.

1-800-your-mine · Answer

Look you do you but that is just cruel... You played his feelings and no one deserves that... This is exactly what a girl did to me once... lead me on and then broke my heart... shame on you as a human being...

Anonymous · Answer

This is incredibly selfish and you give off the impression that you know this because you feel guilty and as you should. There's nothing else to it really. You have the right to have your own set of standards and you have the right to decide someone isn't the one. But you should never ever do what you're doing right now.

Please don't ever do this again. Hopefully you will learn just how damaging this is. Don't date people just to pass the time or until you can find someone better.

dwiller943 · Answer

Honestly, I think that's what we do in general. We date those wrong for us until we fight the right one for us or we date those as right as possible for us to date until we find the one right specific one for us to marry. As long as you are not using the person you're with as a back up plan or just someone you're settling with for now, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

howlyz · Answer

Yes yes, imagine it happened to you, would you like that the guy somehow prepares you and tell you how he feels and that you should not have any serious feelings for him or would you like to act like a coward and just brake up when you leave and leave the poor guy wondering and suffering, it is your choice but think about what would you like better if you were in his situation.

weaponsdude · Answer

I don't use people like you do. I put everything I have into a relationship. I am never looking for something better while am with someone. If they prove themselves unworthy of my love, that's on them. Then, I am free to do as I please. I've never broken up with someone for another. Not one time in my 30+ years of living. I am very selective with my women.

Harsh_5299 · Answer

Here's an unconventionally good idea:

String him along and make him fall for you more everyday, madly in love.
Pretend you love him as well
Then when you find someone better break up with him in a nasty way (with lots of constructive criticism)... this loss will either motivate him towards his career to succeed in life and achieve you... or stay a loser.
it would be a win for you now and a win for him in the future

Would you date someone until you find someone better?

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Should you only date someone who makes you a better person?

Would you date someone until you find someone better?

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Should you only date someone who makes you a better person?

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