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If you know you don’t love this guy, then why are you leading him on? He’s developing feelings for you, and you’re ready to just rip him apart. Truth is you will always find better guys, even if you’re dating somebody who seems perfect to you. There will still be someone better. Love Isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. You can love anybody you want through choice and determination. Why would you choose not to love someone who is choosing to love you? If you pass opportunities like this guy you may accidentally love the douche bags who don’t love you.
Exactly u make a lot of sense thank you
@Lilly26 Thank you!!!
👍👍
It IS that bad.
He's not an old pair of shoes you can throw away after getting new ones. You're just toying with a human. It's so sad to hear that he thinks someone like you is the one.
After you, at least he'll learn to pick better next time & not every desperate chick who he crosses paths with.
Please understand, you're saying he thinks you're the one... that means he's already thinking about you so much with great intentions and emotions. And you're throwing him away when you have no need for him anymore. Can you honestly not think of this action/behaviour like that of an emotionless scum?
Poor guy.
Wonder what guy downvoted this
@lord_chilled Ohhh that's weird.. Can't imagine who'd wanna go through that. Maybe it's a guy who does the same that OP does?
Probably
No. As someone who have been used to different degrees, I couldn't just use someone until I"find better". Either she's the one I want, or she's not, and if she's not, I don't date her.
And you should feel bad, because not only you're using him to not feel lonely, but you're also not honest because you didn't tell him.
You let him believe it's serious because you don't want to lose him and be alone again, it's selfish and dishonest.
Break up with him as soon as possible, let him have a chance of being happy with someone worthy of his love.
This ^^^
you are a chauvinist manipulator in a female version. you are dragging him along. are you that incapable to stay single even for a couple of years till you find someone you like? did you have to steal and chain someone's heart?
I don’t blame you for keeping your options open. However, you two are not on the same page and you misleading him is extremely unfair. I generally prefer to be honest with who I’m with. Yes, I would do what you are doing, dating someone for the sake of keeping them until I find someone more fulfilling. However, it should be brought up that the relationship is somewhat “casual” and there is no expectation of marriage. A matter of “seeing where it can lead” and a lack of pressure on the relationship in itself.
You are also very dishonest, just a lower degree of it. What your are saying also hurts people. Jesus, grow some balls and be honest with people. There's lots of people out there who would be happy to just keep you company for a while or be your fuck buddy.
I think what you're doing is kind of awful. That's not how it works. You date people because you wish to see where things go, if you start to feel that they're going nowhere you explain your feelings and leave. That's how you learn what you want in life, by going through genuine relationships with people you who you genuinely care for and hope for the best and learn for the worst, if you're not emotionally capable to handle this stick to flings and the single life until you're ready. Playing with someone's heartstrings out of boredom or for you own benefit is so cruel, and one day, if you keep doing what you're doing, when you finally think you've found "the one", he'll most likely just do the same thing right back to you. It doesn't pay to take the low road in life.
I'm in this rn. I found out through a friend that my ex was just 'content' being with me until he finds someone better. I feel like he's using me for all the relationship benefits instead of living alone. when he did find someone 'better' he instantly began treating me like a friend. he talked about her and how in love he was with her.
that experience definitely changed me. I tend to have trust issues now and a lot of people don't understand it
Honestly, no I wouldn't date someone "for the time being" and I think it's horrible that you are! Knowing that he thinks you're 'the one' is even more shameful seeing as he's probably doing all he can to keep you happy, but you knowingly (and this is sheer assumption) and silently keep him at a distance because soon you'll leave. I don't know your situation fully but I was in a similar predicament and believed, TRULY BELIEVED, that no distance could be a factor to our relationship; she did and was planning the same as you. I think it's wrong and you shouldn't treat a "friend" like this. What's the point of dating someone if you're immediately thinking of being with someone else?
I don't think any guy is going to want you if you're that selfish. He should of been aware of the situation and your feelings. Don't lead people on if you're not serious. You're just gonna scar and break this guy for the next girl he's in a relationship with.
I don't know if women know this or if it's the same for you girls. But guys didn't kill chivalry you did. Some of you are highly undeserving.
How did us girls kill chivalry? Not all of us are that bad! There are some really good ladies/women out there.
Good women in my opinion have become pretty rare. I honestly use to be more romantic and what not. But I gave up giving effort from all the cheating and selfish women I have dated. Women have some of the BIGGEST entitlement issues and demands from a man these days.
100% Agreed
serious dating is like for marriage for me. So i would NOT date someone just until there was someone better that came along.
That's like I am lying to them, that I like/love them when I am actually using them. I would feel seriously troubled when I am with them if i did that.
The first person I slept with and had real sex with I married him.
I don't understand people who just want to date someone to "date" them until they find someone better. People aren't stuff, they have feelings.
I'm sorry but that is a horrible thing to do to someone. You know full well he thinks you're the one for him. The one he wants to be with. You are just using him. It would be different if he felt as you did. You just can't face being alone so you are using that poor man. You should be ashamed of yourself.
It's cruel. You're an adult woman not a little girl. Grow up and end it now before you hurt him even more. That's a terrible thing to do to someone. What about his "someone better"? You're wasting his life away for your convenience when he could have found someone he could truly love that actually felt the same way.
Get over yourself, break up with him and don't even consider such a selfish and despicable act again
The thing about being young is you don't know enough about relationships to know what all is out there and what you like and don't like. However you could lose a guy you didn't realize was better than most until after he's gone. So be careful with how you end your relationships...
Doing this is mean but I get where you're coming from. Next time try to make your intentions clear before you start a relationship. Some guys are only looking for temporary relationships as well so maybe you can find someone that you don't have to break their heart.
If you are aware there are better people, why continue your current relationship? Why drag him further along for a few more months where he might fall deeper in love? Are you afraid to be lonely for now? Personally, if I knew there were better people out there, I would "fall out of love" with my current partner, and couldn't stand to stay together.
Totally not okay, at least you feel guilty. If one day you're doing something like this and don't feel guilty, you have successfully your consciene.
That is using someone out of what? Boredom? Fear of loneliness?
Exploiting someone is never right. And its pretty easy to see, i mean how would you feel?
No. I would be extremely mad if someone wasted my time (and money) doing this and not ever intending to try for something more in a relationship. If you want a relationship like that, whether for sex or just company, you need to be up front with the person about it and they have to be okay with it.
No don't break up with him before you leave especially if he thinks you're the one it will mess up his whole world he'll be crazy he'll message you Non-Stop begging for you to come back to him at least wait till you find someone else then break up with him it'll be a little easier for him to take
Absolutely not. I take dating very seriously and I won't even bother going past a first date if I can't see her as a potential future spouse and she feels the same way. I think it's terrible to use others for emotional and sexual gratification without the intent to pursue it further. You are toying with someone's feelings and thats not fair to them. The only case where this would be acceptable, in my opinion is if you continue to go on dates to check for further compatibility.
I'm sorry, but these actions are disgusting. Seems to me like he is the one deserving better.
Sorry for the attack. Now to answer your question. No I would never do that, because to me, humans are not the means to an end. Also being untrue to myself would make me feel irrational and full of contradictions. Also I wouldn't be happy if I didn't feel the same way. Lastly I don't think there are anything "better or worse" its about subjective taste.