The lack of male attention I receive makes me feel less of a woman. Is that weird?

I don’t understand why guys think they always make the first move. In my experience, I always had to be the one to talk to them first. And now that I’m older, I’m just the friend. I’m not the one that goes on dates or a potential life partner. The lack of attention from males is making me feel less like a woman. I don’t really know how to describe it, but it’s like when my students call me Ms. so and so, I cringe because I’d rather just go by my first name. The female label of ‘Ms.’ has now become uncomfortable because I don’t feel like I’ve done enough in my life to be a real woman other than being born with female reproductive parts. Or dresses that I once thought were beautiful just don’t seem like they were made for me, that I don’t belong in them. But I’m not gay or neutral. I want a guy. And I want kids. I’m just not understanding what about me is so unattractive to the opposite sex. It used to be that I felt just not pretty but now I feel less feminine, too.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you think that it's possible that you're putting out a bad vibe? I think that's the problem with me, since i believe that i'm giving off an unfriendly vibe. Other than that, all you can really do is focus on improving yourself and focusing on things that are in your control. The truth is that guys are visual and go for looks at first. Of course we care about a girl's personality, but the first thing we notice is her appearance. I don't know how you are, but you're either giving a bad vibe or you could work on improving your appearance. I know the last part may seem shallow but it's the truth, guys want a girl who they find visually attractive. Like i said though, i don't know how you look or what kind of vibe you're giving off.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No that's perfectly normal. I used to feel like that really strongly. Society has oriented us that women are to be "desired" despite modern movements that anyone is allowed to desire anyone. Most people still define feminine attractiveness and attractabilty in your perceived and real ability to be desired or to "get" someone of the opposite gender. It is completely valid.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Listen you have to understand in today's society we're everyone feel entitled. Most men would complain about how women have high expectations and how they have to be doing all the work in a relationship and that they have to be the ones making first moves.

    These are all excuses so they don't have to feel bad about not being about to start or maintain a relationship. They feel entitled, they want to have a hot babe without putting much on the table.

    So here's the good thing you're likely to be somewhere between 6 to 8.5
    Your problem could be that you're trying too hard to date someone or you're not giving guys an actual chance, having really high expectations (which is actually possible),

    As for how you feel... I think you're not finding enough time for self improvement. Finding a problem you like solving. For example going to the gym. Blogging. writing a book. a passion of any sort, getting a hobby or improving or learning a new skill. becoming a youtuber. Thing is although these may sound stressful and tiring, once you find something you like doing that takes time to improve, which in turn improves your value and well being, you'll be happier and also a lot more attractive. Women without any interesting traits, talents, passions or values are not pursued by men for a reason.

    Also a little extra advice read: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck and The 48 Laws of Power (May you could also read Ms. Fletcher if you haven't already, the book changed me.)

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  • I think it is a self esteem thing at the root of all you have described.

    I say this because it is opposite for me, but seeming to come from the same place.

    I'm told I'm attractive, I get "the look" from girls, but I don't feel or think I am attractive and am constantly trying to reaffirm that.

    It seems as though, the lack of attentiom causes your esteem to lower, leading to feeling less of a woman.

    Just like, the lack of girls as a kid plays a part in how I view myself now.

    You've got to place your confidence and your feelings in something else.
    Rather, find your femine feeling in that you DO desire to have kids, and a husband.
    That you do desires to take up that role, you ARE a woman.

    Dont let men be the sourve of your confidence, we are selfish fools.
    But let your own qualities be what you focus on.

    A guy WILL come along who sees the good qualities, and the feminine things, in you, and you'll need to be happy in them at that time anyway.

    Change lanes, switch your focus.

    If a guy doesn't want you, that is on him.
    But you have PLENTY to offer and adore.
    The guy who notices that is who you're looking for.
    You're a real woman regardless.

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  • All this stuff you're describing: It's all in your mind and that means it's not real and can be fixed. You're the only one who can do that though. You don't have to conform to society's benchmarks and other people's opinions. Listen carefully to your emotions and adjust the way you think in order to feel happy.

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    • Um, it is real.

    • Lol. I think what he said can be summed up to "you can change it.".

      Even if we find no worth or quality in ourself, we have to admit if our desires are virtuous or degenerative.
      Our desires and actions are of the heart/mind (our passion and will),
      If you desire womanhood, well you are a woman.
      (Aside from the biological boys who want to girls)

    • No, I can’t.

  • Get Tinder. Upload 3 photos and write 2 feel good sentences.
    Receive attention from 1,000 men.
    Problem solved, yay!
    You're welcome.

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    • I tried that. I didn’t get any attention from men on there.

    • None? Like, at all? I do have a hard time believing that. Because it goes against the most established theories on who men and woman are attracted to (basically, all but the top men are attracted to ALL women).
      You must have received SOME attention. So hit me: how many matches per day or per week? and what factors possible hinder your profile? (I could offer some list of possible hindrances in next message if you ask)

  • Confidence is key. Be proud of your beauty and sexiness, even if YOU dont think you are, you are to someone else. Flirt with people, there's nothing wrong with making the first move. And once more people realize how open you are, they'll start flirting first.

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  • First,, stop empowering others (men, children) to make you feel any certain way. Be a woman as you see a woman. You no longer mike a dress, go find another one. You don’t get the right response from a man, go ask another one. If that takes too much time for you, utilize the internet to help get “you” out there more. I firmly believe there is someone for everyone, even those much much less fortunate than you. so just be you and stop letting others make you feel any certain way. 💟

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  • Ok. You know how women like a confident man. Men want the same thing. Walk into every room with your chest and head up like you own the place. Think of yourself as the smartest, most successful and sexiest woman in the room. Even if your not. Men will take notice.

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  • Well none of us can comment on your attractiveness for obvious reasons.
    I'm not psychologist, but not feeling like you can attract the opposite sex does seem like it would be linked to how feminine you feel.
    Why not go by "Miss" instead of Ms? Subtle difference, but maybe more appropriate for you.
    I'd keep being the one to make moves first. Obviously the guys you are around aren't going to do it, so you may as well take the lead if you want anything to happen.

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  • I get 0 male attention and you don’t see me complaining...

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    • Judging by your profile picture, it’s clear why you don’t get any. I wouldn’t be complaining if I knew the answer lol

    • Show All
    • Lol, whatever makes you sleep better at night.

    • Fuck you. Why do you have to be such a bitch?

  • When called miss by students more often than not it's because they don't take the time to actually care if you are ms or Mrs, most Mrs are called ms instead anyways out of laziness, and as king as you are actively looking in more ways than one there's a very high chance you'll find someone for you, many people are in the same boat, even the opposite sex, so just don't give up

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  • Then try to have a glow up week. Exercise. Get plenty of water , go to the gym and work that body. After you get your goal body. Go and get some hot clothes (not slutty , its a difference) , some that fit your body and makes you look how you want it. After that. Go to places you know guys go. And if you are alone there are better chances of getting attention.

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  • It's likely nothing, as most men now lack the balls to approach women, because they lack the balls to control their bodies sexual energy for anything more than jerking off to porn, and they lack control of their minds. Most guys today wouldn't have been seen as men a few decades ago, and for good reason. (Let alone a few centuries ago)

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    • Teach me how to be an alpha male master.

    • First, some great videos from "The Golden One" starts this off well https://m.youtube.com/user/TheLatsbrah
      Then you've got the wonderful reference of Beowulf, who managed to be both the ideal of Norse Warrior Pagans and The meek humble servant of Christ.
      As well, "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz, "Act as If" by Richard Wiseman, "What every body is saying" by Joe Navarro, and "Meditations" by Marcus Auralius.

  • Well blame it on women as a whole who feel entitled to be courted while sleeping with other guys. Most guys have given up on dating. On top of that a lot of women don't want to be approached and considered it creepy or harassment.

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  • a lot of men who don't approach a woman actually fear her. essentially, some women can be easier to hit on not always because they're attractive but because she's open and generally a high-spirited person. you may be a little more reserved and appear shyer in a way, if that makes sense?

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  • Try to get some female friends to help, ask if they know a guy that they'll think would be a good guy for you to be with. Going on a dating app would be pretty awkward since you being a teacher (judging the fact that you have students and they are on the hunt these days assuming they were HS students).

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  • hey, you probably won't read this because its flooded in comments, but trust me your gonna find that one person thats gonna start out as a friend and the moment your trying to hint each other and make each other jealous u know what time it is, things aside tho are you just lookin for a guy to talk about sex, future, kids and such? or are you looking for a man that loves you?

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  • Not weird at all. We all need affection. Dont give up. Sending love and prayers your way.

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  • So, it sounds like you now know how 80% of guys feel for their whole lives.

    But who cares, guys don't have feelings! They're made of rubber.

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  • I do not think that it is weird, especially if it's something you are so accustomed to. What you do need to realize is that you do not need the attention of others to make yourself feel beautiful.

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  • When we feel bad inside, people note this at the outside. You might be sure of yourself and some day someone will want you as your are.
    Something that helps a lot it's being comprehensive

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  • I get how you feel. If you want to talk more about it you can add me in Skype daltontb6662
    Truth be told I just want to talk to someone that's the opposite sec of me about how we can never find someone

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  • Try tinder or OkCupid, I've had friends like that who had a lot of success. Unfortunately I've had none. You could also invite guys you like for drinks and then ask would they like to hang out more. And then pop the question

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  • Relax, you just didn't find someone that suits you yet, stay positive and have confidence. You could play the hard and all of that and it will bring you attention but those don't last long. Have patience.

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  • I've experienced a similar problem to you. As a guy approaching women and getting rejected over and over again I started getting depressed and feeling like less of a man. My logic was that if I can't find a woman who finds me desirable, then I'm a worthless man. I know that how I felt wasn't right, but when you're depressed sometimes logic doesn't really get to you.

    So no, I don't think it makes you weird that you feel like less of a woman. I do think that, like me, is a symptom of depression or frustration caused by not finding a partner. Gotta keep trying, your so is out there, and always in the last place you look 😉

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  • It's not you it's your surroundings the way the society around you has responded to you, don't stress upon the fact that you should be requiring male attention, you just need to find someone who is worth it 🤔

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  • 1st I would pray to God. There is always someone who appreciates you for you. Go to other places you have not gone. Be careful that you don't get taken for granted.

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  • If you posted a photo, maybe someone could help you. Otherwise, nothing anyone says would be relevant.

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  • Get the mentality the guys need to be coming to you out of your head. You can totally get guys attention but you have to get it from them. Guys now a days won't spoon feed you attention.

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  • Sounds like you are missing feeling cherished. And perhaps you'd find that having a man in your life would help underline that you are a woman.

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  • Update with a photo, im blunt but need to know what ya look like to make a suggestion.

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  • I had d same problem then I was able to crack it. Ping me on personal chat... and we cn discuss... I can tell you exact Why...
    Not sure how PM works here... freakingmagma@yahoo. com

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  • send me a picture I wanna see what you look like
    and yes the human race is shallow accept it and move on

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  • Yeah, I know how you feel. I was like that for a long time.

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  • Don't worry about it. It not the end of the world , sadly when you do get someone it maybe an anti-climax...

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  • It sounds like you base some of your base worthy or femininity in the attention you get from men. This is in part due to culture. But it might be a pattern you have gotten used to. You may never have flirted much because you were insecure and now you don't know how to garner attention.
    You shouldn't base your worth of of male attention but I can understand the frustration.

    One issue could also be the circle you are in, many men, especially more mature men and especially in the modern social climate, feel intimidated in making the first move for fear of "being aggressive" since this can lead to many rumors and other nonsense being said about them. So it might not be that men have no interest in you. They might not feel comfortable enough to make a move. Thus where the need for minor flirtation is needed. The guy needs to have at least an inkling of safety so he knows HR won't being having him sign a paper for sexual harrassment.

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  • No it’s not weird.

    As a first point let me note that most men can empathize. Most men do not receive any attention unless they actually do something (be funny or successful) to draw attention. And for many then that lack of attention from women hurts.

    More women then you realize share your feelings. There’s sort of a narrative that all women are constantly gawked at flirted with and harassed and actually... it’s not all. And given the expectation it’s tough on women who aren’t getting attention.

    So no, your feelings aren’t weird.

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  • If you could post a picture of you I could try to give some suggestions how to improve things look wise. But I can tell you without seeing a picture: let your hair grow long and healthy. Get into shape, buy clothes that are feminine and flatter your body. Fix your teeth and whiten them if needed, learn to use make-up up subtly. Blush, mascara and concealer can go a long way. If you take care of yourself you are signaling to men that you are interested in finding a romantic relationship. Also: smile a lot, very attractive.

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  • oh sweet heart you are a woman with a full life ahead of you. i know a sweet man is coming your way. get ready for him

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  • You need to look somewhere else. There is always someone. You just have to look. Ask a stranger, guys love it when girls ask them out.

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  • Hey dear ✌🏼 I can understand what you mean. It's really upsetting I guess. It's difficult to give an answer on it without to know how you look like, because it's a question based on attractiveness. I would tell you, if you send me a picture of yourself. You can pm me if you want to.
    Else I can give you just a answer in general. There are a lot of reasons why people won't make the first step with you. Unattractiveness is just one, but beauty can cause the same. When you are beautiful people will think you are already in a relationship or just think they aren't in your league.
    This question has to be answered for everyone individually.
    However have a good day and ✌🏼 out.

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  • Don't you have social media? Instagram, Facebook, twitter, online dating sites?

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  • It’s not weird to feel that way, but try not to. Stay positive.

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  • It's not necessarily you being unattractive maybe its you not being attractive enough and I am not talking about how you look. Not always that guys make the first move also the lack of attention from males isn't a problem you just need to pull the attention and I am not saying to be what they call attention whore just look for a guy that you like and ask about him see what he likes and so then you can crap that attention out of him show him that you are there don't over do it though and if he interested you will notice his interest and after that if you are sure of him being interested but he can't find a way to tell you what he feels then you approach him if you can but make sure to find and choose the right guy not all guys are nice some are dicks so be careful

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  • We can't say much if we don't know what you look like

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  • Do you dress really normal of do you have a sexy/feminim style? It can go a long way

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  • It's natural to want to feel desired, hopefully someone notices you soon 🙏

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  • watching some retro movies might help you learn some good moves😛😛😛

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  • You need to put yourself in situations where you're likely to meet single men, for starters.

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  • That shouldn't be happening, I'm sure you are attractive. Maybe you're just around the wrong people?

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  • Men just don't want to bang you real bad. You think it's any easier for us? We do all the work

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