The lack of male attention I receive makes me feel less of a woman. Is that weird?

Question

I don’t understand why guys think they always make the first move. In my experience, I always had to be the one to talk to them first. And now that I’m older, I’m just the friend. I’m not the one that goes on dates or a potential life partner. The lack of attention from males is making me feel less like a woman. I don’t really know how to describe it, but it’s like when my students call me Ms. so and so, I cringe because I’d rather just go by my first name. The female label of ‘Ms.’ has now become uncomfortable because I don’t feel like I’ve done enough in my life to be a real woman other than being born with female reproductive parts. Or dresses that I once thought were beautiful just don’t seem like they were made for me, that I don’t belong in them. But I’m not gay or neutral. I want a guy. And I want kids. I’m just not understanding what about me is so unattractive to the opposite sex. It used to be that I felt just not pretty but now I feel less feminine, too.

JustherefortheInfo · Accepted Answer

I think it is a self esteem thing at the root of all you have described.

I say this because it is opposite for me, but seeming to come from the same place.

I'm told I'm attractive, I get "the look" from girls, but I don't feel or think I am attractive and am constantly trying to reaffirm that.

It seems as though, the lack of attentiom causes your esteem to lower, leading to feeling less of a woman.

Just like, the lack of girls as a kid plays a part in how I view myself now.

You've got to place your confidence and your feelings in something else.
Rather, find your femine feeling in that you DO desire to have kids, and a husband.
That you do desires to take up that role, you ARE a woman.

Dont let men be the sourve of your confidence, we are selfish fools.
But let your own qualities be what you focus on.

A guy WILL come along who sees the good qualities, and the feminine things, in you, and you'll need to be happy in them at that time anyway.

Change lanes, switch your focus.

If a guy doesn't want you, that is on him.
But you have PLENTY to offer and adore.
The guy who notices that is who you're looking for.
You're a real woman regardless.

mancatten · Accepted Answer

Do you think that it's possible that you're putting out a bad vibe? I think that's the problem with me, since i believe that i'm giving off an unfriendly vibe. Other than that, all you can really do is focus on improving yourself and focusing on things that are in your control. The truth is that guys are visual and go for looks at first. Of course we care about a girl's personality, but the first thing we notice is her appearance. I don't know how you are, but you're either giving a bad vibe or you could work on improving your appearance. I know the last part may seem shallow but it's the truth, guys want a girl who they find visually attractive. Like i said though, i don't know how you look or what kind of vibe you're giving off.

Carrieberry · Accepted Answer

If you could post a picture of you I could try to give some suggestions how to improve things look wise. But I can tell you without seeing a picture: let your hair grow long and healthy. Get into shape, buy clothes that are feminine and flatter your body. Fix your teeth and whiten them if needed, learn to use make-up up subtly. Blush, mascara and concealer can go a long way. If you take care of yourself you are signaling to men that you are interested in finding a romantic relationship. Also: smile a lot, very attractive.

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

First,, stop empowering others (men, children) to make you feel any certain way. Be a woman as you see a woman. You no longer mike a dress, go find another one. You don’t get the right response from a man, go ask another one. If that takes too much time for you, utilize the internet to help get “you” out there more. I firmly believe there is someone for everyone, even those much much less fortunate than you. so just be you and stop letting others make you feel any certain way. 💟

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

No that's perfectly normal. I used to feel like that really strongly. Society has oriented us that women are to be "desired" despite modern movements that anyone is allowed to desire anyone. Most people still define feminine attractiveness and attractabilty in your perceived and real ability to be desired or to "get" someone of the opposite gender. It is completely valid.

Pizza_lover159 · Accepted Answer

Then try to have a glow up week. Exercise. Get plenty of water , go to the gym and work that body. After you get your goal body. Go and get some hot clothes (not slutty , its a difference) , some that fit your body and makes you look how you want it. After that. Go to places you know guys go. And if you are alone there are better chances of getting attention.

21feminist · Answer

Listen you have to understand in today's society we're everyone feel entitled. Most men would complain about how women have high expectations and how they have to be doing all the work in a relationship and that they have to be the ones making first moves.

These are all excuses so they don't have to feel bad about not being about to start or maintain a relationship. They feel entitled, they want to have a hot babe without putting much on the table.

So here's the good thing you're likely to be somewhere between 6 to 8.5
Your problem could be that you're trying too hard to date someone or you're not giving guys an actual chance, having really high expectations (which is actually possible),

As for how you feel... I think you're not finding enough time for self improvement. Finding a problem you like solving. For example going to the gym. Blogging. writing a book. a passion of any sort, getting a hobby or improving or learning a new skill. becoming a youtuber. Thing is although these may sound stressful and tiring, once you find something you like doing that takes time to improve, which in turn improves your value and well being, you'll be happier and also a lot more attractive. Women without any interesting traits, talents, passions or values are not pursued by men for a reason.

Also a little extra advice read: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck and The 48 Laws of Power (May you could also read Ms. Fletcher if you haven't already, the book changed me.)

DrDastardly · Answer

I've experienced a similar problem to you. As a guy approaching women and getting rejected over and over again I started getting depressed and feeling like less of a man. My logic was that if I can't find a woman who finds me desirable, then I'm a worthless man. I know that how I felt wasn't right, but when you're depressed sometimes logic doesn't really get to you.

So no, I don't think it makes you weird that you feel like less of a woman. I do think that, like me, is a symptom of depression or frustration caused by not finding a partner. Gotta keep trying, your so is out there, and always in the last place you look 😉

Holyguga · Answer

It sounds like you base some of your base worthy or femininity in the attention you get from men. This is in part due to culture. But it might be a pattern you have gotten used to. You may never have flirted much because you were insecure and now you don't know how to garner attention.
You shouldn't base your worth of of male attention but I can understand the frustration.

One issue could also be the circle you are in, many men, especially more mature men and especially in the modern social climate, feel intimidated in making the first move for fear of "being aggressive" since this can lead to many rumors and other nonsense being said about them. So it might not be that men have no interest in you. They might not feel comfortable enough to make a move. Thus where the need for minor flirtation is needed. The guy needs to have at least an inkling of safety so he knows HR won't being having him sign a paper for sexual harrassment.

0112358 · Answer

No it’s not weird.

As a first point let me note that most men can empathize. Most men do not receive any attention unless they actually do something (be funny or successful) to draw attention. And for many then that lack of attention from women hurts.

More women then you realize share your feelings. There’s sort of a narrative that all women are constantly gawked at flirted with and harassed and actually... it’s not all. And given the expectation it’s tough on women who aren’t getting attention.

So no, your feelings aren’t weird.

Leo3572 · Answer

Hey dear ✌🏼 I can understand what you mean. It's really upsetting I guess. It's difficult to give an answer on it without to know how you look like, because it's a question based on attractiveness. I would tell you, if you send me a picture of yourself. You can pm me if you want to.
Else I can give you just a answer in general. There are a lot of reasons why people won't make the first step with you. Unattractiveness is just one, but beauty can cause the same. When you are beautiful people will think you are already in a relationship or just think they aren't in your league.
This question has to be answered for everyone individually.
However have a good day and ✌🏼 out.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

I've been there. Girls don't often pay attention to me. But it doesn't mean that I am any less a man for it. No more are you any less a woman because men don't pay attention to you (even if you feel like it). The girls that don't pay attention to me are not the right ones for me anyway. The guys that don't pay attention to you are not the right ones anyway.
I live in the (fading) hope that someday I will be noticed by the right girl.
Just like I hope that someday you will be noticed by the right guy.

kokorozashi · Answer

It's not necessarily you being unattractive maybe its you not being attractive enough and I am not talking about how you look. Not always that guys make the first move also the lack of attention from males isn't a problem you just need to pull the attention and I am not saying to be what they call attention whore just look for a guy that you like and ask about him see what he likes and so then you can crap that attention out of him show him that you are there don't over do it though and if he interested you will notice his interest and after that if you are sure of him being interested but he can't find a way to tell you what he feels then you approach him if you can but make sure to find and choose the right guy not all guys are nice some are dicks so be careful

buttercupshero · Answer

Ok. You know how women like a confident man. Men want the same thing. Walk into every room with your chest and head up like you own the place. Think of yourself as the smartest, most successful and sexiest woman in the room. Even if your not. Men will take notice.

Tinwin · Answer

Well none of us can comment on your attractiveness for obvious reasons.
I'm not psychologist, but not feeling like you can attract the opposite sex does seem like it would be linked to how feminine you feel.
Why not go by "Miss" instead of Ms? Subtle difference, but maybe more appropriate for you.
I'd keep being the one to make moves first. Obviously the guys you are around aren't going to do it, so you may as well take the lead if you want anything to happen.

Drunkennomad · Answer

Confidence is key. Be proud of your beauty and sexiness, even if YOU dont think you are, you are to someone else. Flirt with people, there's nothing wrong with making the first move. And once more people realize how open you are, they'll start flirting first.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not weird and it's true guys don't always make the first move or at least they don't always make it obvious or they give up too fast. I was single for the longest time until I made a move myself. The guy was taking way too long and admitted to me he was going to take even longer until I did something to speed things up. My mother frowned upon my choice and thinks I should have let him chase me but I wanted him NOW (and have him now) and did not want to wait longer than I already did. My advice is to just ignore society's so called rules and the advice women tend to give of being pretty and passive (like look good and just smile) and actually go for it. Actually make the moves instead. I did it and now I'm not single anymore and even other guys started noticing me since my confidence has been boosted and I make more of an effort in my appearance.

ThiccBoiSkeetSkeet · Answer

When called miss by students more often than not it's because they don't take the time to actually care if you are ms or Mrs, most Mrs are called ms instead anyways out of laziness, and as king as you are actively looking in more ways than one there's a very high chance you'll find someone for you, many people are in the same boat, even the opposite sex, so just don't give up

Duke07 · Answer

Not weird at all. We all need affection. Dont give up. Sending love and prayers your way.

BeowulfTheMighty · Answer

It's likely nothing, as most men now lack the balls to approach women, because they lack the balls to control their bodies sexual energy for anything more than jerking off to porn, and they lack control of their minds. Most guys today wouldn't have been seen as men a few decades ago, and for good reason. (Let alone a few centuries ago)

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve seen some ugly bitches pull dudes. I’m what they say is a very beautiful woman. I’m 21. Never had a serious boyfriend. People are shocked. Because at my age they were whoring it up. I get judged all of the time for this. My advice would be to date online. Play hard to get. Don’t give them what they want so soon. Play very hard to get. The egg doesn’t race to the sperm, now does it?

jaidee · Answer

Get Tinder. Upload 3 photos and write 2 feel good sentences. Receive attention from 1,000 men. Problem solved, yay! You're welcome.

Cutekate67 · Answer

a lot of men who don't approach a woman actually fear her. essentially, some women can be easier to hit on not always because they're attractive but because she's open and generally a high-spirited person. you may be a little more reserved and appear shyer in a way, if that makes sense?

Dirk41 · Answer

Try to get some female friends to help, ask if they know a guy that they'll think would be a good guy for you to be with. Going on a dating app would be pretty awkward since you being a teacher (judging the fact that you have students and they are on the hunt these days assuming they were HS students).

Dolanymo · Answer

hey, you probably won't read this because its flooded in comments, but trust me your gonna find that one person thats gonna start out as a friend and the moment your trying to hint each other and make each other jealous u know what time it is, things aside tho are you just lookin for a guy to talk about sex, future, kids and such? or are you looking for a man that loves you?

Anonymous · Answer

It will depend on looks and you’re personality on what attracts guys, if you’re looking overweight and a plain Jane you probably won’t get any attention. Maybe you just need a makeover and a different attitude towards things, if you’re happy a lot of the time then you’ll attract people to you

Bananaman177 · Answer

So, it sounds like you now know how 80% of guys feel for their whole lives. But who cares, guys don't have feelings! They're made of rubber.

WalterRadio · Answer

If you posted a photo, maybe someone could help you. Otherwise, nothing anyone says would be relevant.

enigmatic236 · Answer

I do not think that it is weird, especially if it's something you are so accustomed to. What you do need to realize is that you do not need the attention of others to make yourself feel beautiful.

Canuckto · Answer

Well blame it on women as a whole who feel entitled to be courted while sleeping with other guys. Most guys have given up on dating. On top of that a lot of women don't want to be approached and considered it creepy or harassment.

madgoat · Answer

Sounds like you are missing feeling cherished. And perhaps you'd find that having a man in your life would help underline that you are a woman.

NathanStrat · Answer

Update with a photo, im blunt but need to know what ya look like to make a suggestion.

A-man-22 · Answer

Get the mentality the guys need to be coming to you out of your head. You can totally get guys attention but you have to get it from them. Guys now a days won't spoon feed you attention.

rsALEX · Answer

Try tinder or OkCupid, I've had friends like that who had a lot of success. Unfortunately I've had none. You could also invite guys you like for drinks and then ask would they like to hang out more. And then pop the question

cherryphi82 · Answer

Yeah, I know how you feel. I was like that for a long time.

bongger · Answer

Relax, you just didn't find someone that suits you yet, stay positive and have confidence. You could play the hard and all of that and it will bring you attention but those don't last long. Have patience.

Skullpool · Answer

When we feel bad inside, people note this at the outside. You might be sure of yourself and some day someone will want you as your are. Something that helps a lot it's being comprehensive

Talldee · Answer

I get how you feel. If you want to talk more about it you can add me in Skype daltontb6662
Truth be told I just want to talk to someone that's the opposite sec of me about how we can never find someone

zainnnn · Answer

It's not you it's your surroundings the way the society around you has responded to you, don't stress upon the fact that you should be requiring male attention, you just need to find someone who is worth it 🤔

RicoSuave123 · Answer

send me a picture I wanna see what you look like  and yes the human race is shallow accept it and move on

Gedaria · Answer

Don't worry about it. It not the end of the world , sadly when you do get someone it maybe an anti-climax...

Rickardolow · Answer

1st I would pray to God. There is always someone who appreciates you for you. Go to other places you have not gone. Be careful that you don't get taken for granted.

MindTime · Answer

It's natural to want to feel desired, hopefully someone notices you soon 🙏

Anonymous · Answer

I get what you mean and guys don't make it any better. Especially my close guy friends. They bring me down and make me feel lesser than every other woman. I don't really know what to tell you about it, but just know you aren't the only one. :)

freakingMagma · Answer

I had d same problem then I was able to crack it. Ping me on personal chat... and we cn discuss... I can tell you exact Why... Not sure how PM works here... freakingmagma@yahoo. com

BabyKrakatau · Answer

All this stuff you're describing: It's all in your mind and that means it's not real and can be fixed. You're the only one who can do that though. You don't have to conform to society's benchmarks and other people's opinions. Listen carefully to your emotions and adjust the way you think in order to feel happy.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Don't you have social media? Instagram, Facebook, twitter, online dating sites?

clampfan101 · Answer

It’s not weird to feel that way, but try not to. Stay positive.

WhoDatGuy · Answer

Men just don't want to bang you real bad. You think it's any easier for us? We do all the work

Myrdices · Answer

I don't get attention from anyone I prefer it that way I don't like people looking at me

Anonymous · Answer

Let me tell you something Its not all about style or being beautiful or things like that. Your way of behavior and being approachable is more important. Work on your body language.

BonnieBunny · Answer

We can't say much if we don't know what you look like

Mikester100 · Answer

Do you dress really normal of do you have a sexy/feminim style? It can go a long way

jimmy2 · Answer

oh sweet heart you are a woman with a full life ahead of you. i know a sweet man is coming your way. get ready for him

Sebrez · Answer

You need to look somewhere else. There is always someone. You just have to look. Ask a stranger, guys love it when girls ask them out.

old-guys-rule · Answer

You need to put yourself in situations where you're likely to meet single men, for starters.

Iamanintrovert · Answer

Yeah it is weird that you can only live if others know that you are living.

Anonymous · Answer

Post a picture here, you will get a lot of attention

pranav_vashistha · Answer

watching some retro movies might help you learn some good moves😛😛😛

mojo- · Answer

That shouldn't be happening, I'm sure you are attractive. Maybe you're just around the wrong people?

order66jedi · Answer

You need to have confidence in yourself. Be a woman just to be a woman and guys will pay attention

Greylen · Answer

Never give up! But also stay safe and smart. Right person will find you.

Chupes · Answer

It isn't weird but you shouldn't let it bring you down. Be confident and know your value.

Slim57 · Answer

Maybe you're not very attractive or you're too attractive and intimidating

guyNextDoorMorgan · Answer

Not at all you feel a sense of deprived I can understand

LeeKenz · Answer

I get 0 male attention and you don’t see me complaining...

The lack of male attention I receive makes me feel less of a woman. Is that weird?

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Is it weird that as a straight woman, I’ve never craved male attention?

The lack of male attention I receive makes me feel less of a woman. Is that weird?

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Is it weird that as a straight woman, I’ve never craved male attention?

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