Is it pathetic to be depressed because I never get male attention, ?

Question

Universaldance · Accepted Answer

You’re not alone here. I feel pathetic as a guy. No one has ever told me to do any character development. I’ve had to discover it at 24 years old. I’m 28 now and really thought people skills was enough but apparently not on this subject of dating in this modern day so lots of learning psychology of how both men and women communicate differently

I often feel like others have had certain advantages with healthy social circles to socialize in and have had great esteem through their school/home/work environments and also on the other end of the spectrum too where theyve had to build tough skin or learn strong character quick which would in a way make them learn to be both firm and confident when grabbing attention to get what they need to sustain

All in all, sticking to the context of your q. Are you keeping an open body language to socialize with everybody or do your expressions come off as someone not to be bothered? How are people reading you? Are you making an effort to put yourself out there?

(Are you situationally aware of the setting and if at a workplace most single men will not make advances on a girl due to code of conduct and harassment consequences so they would much rather give no attention)

(Keep in mind also that there are guys and girls who crave attention for the mere reason of boosting their ego, with no regard to leading the other individual on)

RavVid · Accepted Answer

We would all like to the center of attention of our gender preference, You are a comely woman so it surprises me.

What attention and to what purpose though? I will assume a relationship is the goal but maybe it isn't. Men do like happy friendly girls because they are easier to approach. We do notice how you interact with other men. If you are interactive with all men irrespective of whether of they are a guy you might be interested in or not the threshold is lower.

There s a strong 'fake it till you make it aspect. You may be depressed but smile and laugh at the small jokes people make and be willing to talk.

I don't know what venues you go to. In my locale it is about cafes more than bars. It is good to be an insider at these venues as that gives you a support network. It is lonely to be at a venue by yourself and it becomes easier to say hello to new people. I remember you said something about social events recently. I think having a local is far better.

I'd suggest flowing feminine clothing. I'd dismiss girls in grey hound skirts (joke is they are an inch away from the hare).

You do have to get out and if you don't feel happy then fake it till you make it.

All the best.

Rosexøxø · Answer

As a female I can understand and I don’t think it’s pathetic about you.

YOU are NOT pathetic. BUT

you FEELING that way and sort of accepting it to somewhat coexist with it or let it determine other things onwards IS pathetic. You’re above that feeling for that reason.

You can do better with your feelings and focuses. I say acknowledge it, accept it, and then MOVE ON from it. Don’t live your WHOLE life in entirety being depressed about men not giving you their eyes. You have eyes. Use yours and enjoy the finer things in life. If you want you give it a go and stare at any hot guys you like. Give your eyes purpose and use them for hobbies and things that are more likely to fulfill you.

I think if this is what you observed and are harbored on, then it means you haven’t given yourself the time and space to focus on better things that will compliment you. They’re not complimenting you, so find other things. Cause you’re an exceptional person with a unique and once in a lifetime personality and you’re gorgeous as ever. A true gem 💎. So just don’t waste too much time on this, cause that would be pathetic. you're SO MUCH BETTER. It doesn’t fit who you are- this way that you’re feeling. So much to do. You’re more beautiful than those feelings. Don’t give them the time of day. And the same goes for the guys, don’t give them too much time in your day for observing and wanting attention.

Find other ways to be noticed. Good hobbies. Get noticed for cool things like your writing or your art. Etc. etc. do something that would command attention. OR have fun putting yourself out there and in doing so simply putting an off limits sign for the guys. Go to the beach in a bikini if you want to! Wear a two piece on a Ferris wheel. Live life in enjoyment! And if they all come around asking for numbers cause they thought you were putting meat on a platter- simply say NO WAY JOSE. If they can’t notice your amazing character when you’re decent then they can’t take you when you’re in that manner. Just do for you. And enjoy that. Enjoy the freedom. The power. Control and independence. Feel the sun on your skin, and LOVE YOURSELF. That’s MOST important.

Account · Answer

I won't call it pathetic, but the root of it lies elsewhere. I am not a therapist so I am not sure if my assumption will aid you, instead of side-track you, since I am not infallible but what is certain is that the root of lies elsewhere within you. I think you need to see a therapist for that because I doubt that is the only issue. That is simply one of the consequences of it in my opinion.

DishLady · Answer

Yeah, tbh. Why should that be the “end all be all” thing that causes you to feel depressed?

Avicenna · Answer

Surely you are kidding- you must get lots of male attention.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

using "words" to describe yourself, your feelings or acts doesn't help...

you have to love yourself and accept yourself as you are... it's a game changer...

so... why don't you start with accepting the fact you are sad? and the reason for this feeling? and then... maybe you can retrospect the last situation you didn't like... and think what one thing you could change and check how it would work?

everyone, not only men but literally everyone... likes people who have this internal light... this natural confidence that comes from knowing yourself and accepting and loving yourself... it's always the starting point...

Crimsyjo · Answer

I don't believe you never get attention! I'm sure you do. Maybe it's just not from where you want it to come from. Or you don't notice.

Either way of course it's not pathetic. We are desire love, acceptance and to feel worthy. And i know people say to look for that within but it just doesn't work that way. We can't help feeling more validated when attention comes from others.

However, saying that, it is probably wise to not make it your whole endgame. Decide to fund joy in life. Going out, making friends, socialising. If you get attention that makes you feel great that's good! If not? Have fun for sake of fun anyways!

Minky17 · Answer

Yes. You should decenter men. You can't attract attention if you don't pay attention to your self. Also men love women to be self absorbed/obsessed with themselves. They don't want that obsessive energy on them as it leads to clinginess/neediness. Just be clingy/needy to yourself and the men will flock to you.

If you're obsessed with yourself, you will also be obsessed with your looks, facial features, speech, body/fitness, and personality. It's just better overall to care about yourself over men you don't know.

sage2021 · Answer

I am not the type of person that get's depressed because I didn't let myself go there.
Believe me, my life has been full of adversity but I am a fighter. I don't give in to depressed feelings.
I take time to think about whatever it is I could be depressed about, mull it over in my mind and come to the conclusion that 9 times out of 10 there's nothing else I can do about it so it's time to not let those thoughts take up anymore rent space in my mind.

Since I am older than y'all, it's easier to do this with age. But even when I was younger I never fell into depression.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not pathetic it's just waste of time.

I have siblings all who are married. They all tell me what a great guy I am. Yet no woman I take interest in seems to agree.

Now I could be depressed about this, and at times I have been. But then one day I came to the conclusion that all you can be is. Be the best person you know how to be. And if another isn't observant enough to see what you bring to the table, then there's no point getting upset about it. You're only only 50% of the equation.

I consoled myself in the past with the fact that most people, in a relationship or not are just as miserable as you feel. In fact what is worse? To be single and alone? Or to be in a relationship and still feel alone. Most people are unhappy.

Now I'm quite content to find meaning in my own life. I got friends and family that care about me. And that's just fine. There are a lot of people in life that don't even have that.

Hopefully this helps you in some way.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Looking at your profile picture and assuming that is you or at least bares a resemblance , i find it incredibly difficult to believe that you don’t get some sort of male attention.

To answer your question though , I wouldn't say it’s pathetic or worthy of causing you to feel depressed but would urge you not to sit back and expect to get attention. To put it bluntly that’s the world that I live in where if you want something then you at least turn up and play your part not just expect it to happen to you? Is that fair?

I wouldn’t imagine that you would have to work hard though , us guys are relatively simple creatures generally , once you separate the wheat from the chaff. So unless you are the glen close fatal attraction bunny boiler type then it should be pretty much open season for you !

Lynx122 · Answer

I don't think so we're all struggling with social things in one way or another. Focusing on social connections is a good thing because it's pretty much the most meaningful thing we can do with our lives. And dating is part of being social.

Good luck :)

Serkee · Answer

I don't think so, in men or women. Feeling like you're not wanted is something I'm very familiar with, and that's a very common thing to be depressed over. It can really hurt your self-esteem. A lot of women like to mock men over it and act as if it's because we're creeps, especially here, and I don't understand why. No, it's not pathetic to feel lonely or unwanted over a lack of attention from the opposite sex. Anyone who tells you otherwise just wants to hurt you.

HawkPerception · Answer

So that's not you in the picture then 😂

It's not pathetic to be depressed because you never get male attention. We all have some desire to get some attention.

I would say the way to fix it is simply to workout (the right kind of workout), diet well, and clean up nicely and you'll likely start to get more attention once you get results.

If you're talking about being approached, that's a whole other topic about society and the state of things currently.

Pegases · Answer

We are wired for human connection with the opposite sex. Thus, the same way a woman desires male attention, a man desires female attention. There is nothing pathetic about human nature. So embrace it.

Apple1996 · Answer

Remember male attention is about the most meaningless shit you could ever get. Most men would literally fuck dead bodies, animals and childern if it was legal. It doesn't mean much for a man to look in your direction/give you attention

provokeesmokee · Answer

Yes.

It's pathetic if you attribute something as serious as depression - a chemical imbalance in brain chemistry, and mostly treatable - to the simple fact you're too pick me to be seen.

Focus on making yourself happy, independent of men or other people. Then you'll find yourself drawing men in without trying.

People tend to gravitate towards folks who are sure of themselves, enjoying their lives, and who contribute positivity to the people around them.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

@bethany22 I find it hard to believe you don't get male attention. If it's for real, the guys must either already be in a relationship that you hang with, intimidated by your beauty and don't have the balls, or can't see from having their head jacked-up their azz.

Kaneki05 · Answer

No, that's a reasonable response to why. Most people would get bad feelings about not getting attention from the ones they like.

Kelly6 · Answer

@bethany22 depression is not a option or choice, it is hard to control.

normalice · Answer

That's more a "blood in the water" situation than anything pathetic.

RetroReviews · Answer

I think it's a natural human feeling to be depressed to not get something that we really want

Nikki1989 · Answer

In a way, yes. You think you need a man to complete you, and no woman needs that at all.

Nifrayu · Answer

I wouldn't say that, but depression is a problem. Something you should find an answer for.

TallAnon · Answer

Wear a skirt, pushup bra and some eyeliner; problem solved

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s odd. You’re very pretty. It’s not pathetic but you need to focus more on yourself and less on what guys think of you.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

We all have to deal with depression.

FreyaRed · Answer

Go in a bar. With enough alc every girl looks for them like underwear model

andy530 · Answer

A feeling is a feeling it’s not pathetic. What you do as a result of that feeling though can determine a lot of things

genericname85 · Answer

do you get "no male attention"? or does the male attention you get not come from the kind fo men you'd want?

Booklover_90 · Answer

You shouldn’t be. Be grateful. You don’t want everyone’s attention.

DextroShade · Answer

Welcome to the epiphany phase. Time to find a man to settle down with because your options are only going to get worse from here.

stratford · Answer

I am happy to give you all the attention you desire :-)

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Oh im sure you do, you just haven't noticed it But, yeah, kind of Work on yourself, before you can be happy with another

RyanK9b · Answer

No, its the primary currency of woman. Thats normal

ImVeryOld · Answer

I wouldn't say pathetic, but rather, misplaced emotions.

eagle1951 · Answer

it's hard to believe half of what you read on here, to me this is your way of getting attention

Anonymous · Answer

Go get male attention... fins a skimpy outfit, go to a bar, and you'll get male attention

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, because you do get male attention. Just not from the guys you want.

SweetJoyGirl · Answer

I don’t think so.

DrPepper12 · Answer

I doubt thats even true!

MrGSpotHer · Answer

Life's depressing as hell I've gotten used to it

Stef12 · Answer

Of course not.

kwsmith2 · Answer

In no way.

jahaims · Answer

Yeah

CubaPirate · Answer

Pathetic no sad yes

Enginn · Answer

No. Just relax

Is it pathetic to be depressed because I never get male attention, ?

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What Girls & Guys Said

We all have to deal with depression.

I never get any male attention, do you understand why?

Is it pathetic to be depressed because I never get male attention, ?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We all have to deal with depression.

I never get any male attention, do you understand why?

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