Why do I not get male attention?

[Anonymous]

For some context, I'm a 27-year old woman living in a major U. S. city. I've been single without any dates for nearly 5 years now, and I have genuinely no idea why men just don't go for me.

In terms of physical appearance, I get called 'attractive' by both male and female friends quite a bit. I'm 5'8, 125lbs, natural blonde hair, green eyes, good teeth, 32DD breasts, long legs, general hourglass figure.
I'm what I'd call a "social introvert" - I can be quite chatty in social settings, and I have a tight circle, but need a lot of downtime on my own to recover, and I'm normally terrified of interacting with men in a romantic context - I always worry they're going to say something cruel if I try to initiate a conversation. Because of this, I generally need them to make it 100% clear they're attracted to me before I'll engage. I don't like to use dating apps either, as I don't photograph well and I know I'll just get left-swiped a bunch.

Professionally, I have a great career going for me that I enjoy, and my interests tend to be more on the bookish/nerdy side. I've tried joining things like book clubs, museum groups, etc. to see if I can meet any men that way, but nope, still ignored... lol.

What am I doing wrong? I really don't think I'm repulsive, and might be a good catch to some. Any insight?

[Staximus]

If you don't show interest in them or attraction to them, they aren't going to make the first move. Are you going to wait around forever or start acting like you want to see them again? If you talk to a guy for a while and like him, either act interested enough to inspire him to ask for your number, or give him your phone number. It's that simple. Either that or stand there like the bloody statue of liberty and pray for a miracle. Life is short, find your courage now. You might meet the best guy, but he's just going to walk away if you let him.

[Staximus]

You sound like a socially awkward person. Maybe you can take a class on social skills or human interaction or something. Or a class on how to attract the right kind of men. Go somewhere where like-mined people hang out. It's tough right now because all the cowards are trying to lock down the whole country, but get out there and live your life before it passes you by

[Staximus]

If you're a good catch, don't settle for some dirt bag

[Staximus]

You should see how hard it is to get s decent woman in Southern California. I'm short, fat, bald, and broke. Women only want me around to solve all their problems because I'm like Mr. Wolf from Pulp Fiction. A younger, fatter, balder, Mr. Wolf without the suit and fancy car.

[Staximus]

You also sound like you need to work on your self confidence

[Waldoe]

this is what you need to work on... " I'm what I'd call a "social introvert" - I can be quite chatty in social settings, and I have a tight circle, but need a lot of downtime on my own to recover, and I'm normally terrified of interacting with men in a romantic context - I always worry they're going to say something cruel if I try to initiate a conversation. Because of this, I generally need them to make it 100% clear they're attracted to me before I'll engage" but more open and welcomeing, do not be afraid of getting hurt, it's all part of getting what you want and need...

[silvermoon84]

Speaking as a woman, I think you would benefit A LOT by making the first move. Sure, it’s scary because you’re making yourself vulnerable to rejection, but sometimes in order to get a man to be your boyfriend he has to know you’re interested. Not to mention, many men are scared to approach women because they’re afraid
the woman will make a false rape accusation against them if she doesn’t find the man attractive enough.

[Anonymous]

I think it's your social incapability that may be affecting you. You're body language could be standoffish or your facial expressions. Maybe because the romantic interaction scares you so much that you don't notice when guys are noticing you.

[OlderThanILook]

I don't like the idea of trying to meet someone in person. It just comes across as creepy if a man starts talking to a woman out of nowhere. If I were to try and find someone new to start dating, it'd be through an app or through a mutual friend. I'm especially hesitant to talk to an attractive woman because I assume she gets people approaching her all the time. I don't really have a chance because I'm not attractive and she doesn't know who I am. I also don't want to be accused of harassing her.

[Jamie05rhs]

^This. 💯

[Juxtapose]

This is what society has become, people would rather meet each other electronically rather than face to face.

Jfc

[Jamie05rhs]

@Juxtapose It's true, though. 🤷

[Juxtapose]

@Jamie05rhs I would much rather meet the other person as nature intended. I don't need screens to do that.

[pnay88]

If it's your social anxiety and confidence that are the main factors, I would try some sort of female empowerment/ confidence etc weekend retreat. I've seen no end of friends, male and female, come back from such things feeling much more confident and full of the vitality in their person that sometimes everyday life can drain from you! Perhaps the best you there is for such situations has been lost along the way, and needs a helping hand finding her way to the surface. It's not you that is the problem, only the neurosis you harbour that hinders your inner self x

[MCheetah]

You're either way too shallow, picky, and entitled, or you're way too attractive looking for guys to assume you're single or that they have any shot with you. If you want to change things, start being more proactive and stop being so passive and waiting for guys to make the first move on you.

[CallmeTheKnight]

If you're not getting approached then it's you. Maybe you're not in the right areas. Maybe you need to get over yourfear if rejected approach men that catch your interest. Maybe you have an expression on your face or an attitude that repels people.
If you are attractive as you claim to be then, this shouldn't be a problem. It's just you

[AmeerX]

I believe you are the same person who made another anon question here. I think I understand it a little more.
You have a good career and maybe that intimidated some of the men. It is good to be yourself. But I see you are being too much hard on yourself.
Why do you think someone will think cruel about you?

[Anonymous]

The MeToo statutes that guys know will get them life in prison or executed

You're too smart and attractive for the generally uncaring idiots and we'll the same guys just don't date anymore hence myself and others in this age and status range

You sound great but from the above listed reasons I have to say no to even the concept of anything more than this statement

I have to go private or else with the public information I could be risking my life to say as much as I have

[slatyb]

So in other words you give men no chance to engage with you, and you wonder why you’re single? Hmmm... I have no idea. “General hourglass figure” Being honest, are you at a healthy weight?

[Phoenix98]

Maybe try asking a guy out?

Sometimes guys are pretty dense and we don't pick up on all the "subtle" hints women make.

Sometimes it's better to just be direct.

[FilmGuy93]

You probably just don't give off a very welcoming vibe. You sound extremely attractive. My guess is that men meet you and pick up on that shyness and interpret it as hostile energy.

[Anonymous]

I haven't really heard anything that sounds terrible. I'd have to see a picture of you to give an accurate impression, remember men are mostly visual at the onset.

[Yourfriend2021]

Guys don't approach you because they think they will get shot down or you are already taken, you have to make the first move.

[Jamie05rhs]

Post a photo in How Do I Look. What you've told us so far doesn't really tell us anything.

[spartan55]

I give the odds of that happening at 0-0.

[Jamie05rhs]

@spartan55 🤷

[harrison102]

I think you need to somehow make your self obviously available, if you don’t want to use dating apps? I’m sure you are a very pretty young lady 🙂

[zagor]

Museums and book clubs? Try some biker bars and brewpubs.

[Jamie05rhs]

And end up married to an alcoholic who's going to hit her when he gets drunk?

[zagor]

@Jamie05rhs She didn't specify good attention...

[Jamie05rhs]

Smh...

[Anonymous]

You're emotionally unavailable. You are wearing a sign around your neck that says " go away".

[Anonymous]

From what you described, I couldn't say. Maybe it's just an energy you put off

[In_Trance]

Must be something you're saying or doing (or not)

[jimmy2]

Are you in Dallas