My boyfriend’s ex is way more beautiful than I am. Sounds stupid, but how can I be fine with it?

[linduskainen]

So, as the title says, my boyfriend’s ex is a lot more beautiful than I am. I’m telling this to you as fairly as I can, without overexaggerating. I’m neither looking for attention, nor annoyed comments, but actual tips how to be fine with the fact.

I know I should just chill since my boyfriend thinks I’m pretty and he loves me, but as I suffer from depression and panic/anxiety disorder, it’s really hard for me to accept. I’m afraid I’ll never get over the fact. I need to, cause I love my boyfriend and want to be with him. It’s just hard cause I feel like he downgraded A LOT and then people think wtf is wrong with him.

So pretty please, share your experience or tips on how to be fine with the fact that the ex is prettier!

[Anonymous]

Comments saying that he chose you, or that it was in the past won't help. The reason why another person's exterior appearance are a threat is often about what else you have to offer beyond your physical appearance.

In a sense this has little to do with looks on the outside, and more to do with what's on the inside. If you felt you had a lot more to offer within, then this girls beauty would probably just be an afterthought and then you'd move on... because you'd be secure that your personality, depth, humor, intelligence, spirit, drive, energy and vibe was what set you apart from all other women... uniqueness.

Perhaps seeing this other girl made you realize that nothing set you apart from each other more than looks.

It could also be linked to the depression since that creates more anxiety through our thought process. All of the things you mentioned are about your internal world.

I assume you already work on yourself, but perhaps this is a sign that more work is needed. How this is done varies from individual to individual but it will involve a lot of reading, mindfulness, learning about who you are beyond your exterior self, the higher self, possibly Mushin, and ultimately self love.

[linduskainen]

I work with myself a lot daily, and go to therapy once a week. I know if I loved myself, I’d see myself in a better light. But the reality is that I’m already a lot better with his, so that’s why I wanted to see how I see the ex now. Ofc it made me feel really bad cause I know it’s the reality that she is prettier and I can’t accept the fact.

[DanielSon3823]

Just remember that he's with you and not her. It doesn't matter how beautiful she is. They broke up for a reason. Im sure you're really pretty too. So you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Relationships go beyond physical appearance. Its about personality. And I don't know why they even broke up but a beautiful girl who cheated or are mean or have a bad attitude can make a beautiful girl ugly real quick. Im sure you're prettier anyways.

[linduskainen]

I know that personality matters the most, but still it haunts me a lot that I can’t be prettier than her.. It’s true that it’s a matter or perspective, but I just can’t accept the fact..

[DanielSon3823]

you're really beautiful if thats you in your profile pic. And i love your eyes. I feel like you would be prettier than her tbh

[linduskainen]

Thank you, you’re being too kind😊 Luckily the worst went past already, it’s again my anxiety fucking shit up

[DanielSon3823]

Message me if you want to talk about this privately but i really emjoy helping people

[linduskainen]

Thank you, I appreciate it a lot😊

[AddictedGirl]

He loves you because it's you! And he left her because it's her!
.
Wise people never re-do old mistakes.

[linduskainen]

That’s very true. But how can I really accept the fact that the ex is prettier than me? I know that when I’m normal (means not in a depressive or anxious state), my personality is a 10 to my boyfriend. But still I just can’t stand the fact that my boyfriend has downgraded and I’m uglier than her!

[AddictedGirl]

Looks dosnt matter much! Even my ex was much more handsome than my current. But I know I m the happiest with my current and don't even think of my ex coz he didn't treated me well! So that doesn't matter at all

[bunny29]

Actually you lost your self confidence your boyfriend need your beautiful heart and beauty will fade with time but beauty of your heart is life time love him
n
dont think about beauty... external beauty is worthless if heart is not pure

[linduskainen]

This is something I want to understand! I know that it’s inside what matters. How can I teach myself this?

[bunny29]

Have you ever seen an acid attack girl

[linduskainen]

Yeah, I have

[bunny29]

They still love the way they are then why can't you feel that you are pretty

[linduskainen]

Because I know that other people compare me all the time.. and somehow the fact that she is prettier than me (reality) feels so bad!

[bunny29]

Does look are everything for you

[linduskainen]

Of course not, but I feel like I have to be better than her

[bunny29]

When beauty is not your first priority then why you are thinking about it just live the way you are god have created everyone in different way you
This things will make you desperate and you might lose your lose for such things

[linduskainen]

Well it’s not for me, but I expect myself to be prettier than her! I know this sounds weird, but I should always be better

[bunny29]

You are better than her and everyone else in different ways

[linduskainen]

I know that to some extent. I realised that we both are pretty, but in different ways, but I still feel like she’s the queen of this duel

[bunny29]

Ohh god please take me up

[linduskainen]

Ikr I’m difficult😂

[bunny29]

Yeap you are to difficult

[linduskainen]

I’m sorry🙈

[bunny29]

Ok you won i lose are you happy

[linduskainen]

No.. you tried to help

[bunny29]

Thanks share your opinion on my recent question 😉

[gunducci]

You need to be at peace with this fact. Although I think beauty is subjective and in the eyes of the beholder, but if you think she is prettier, so be it. Your guy is with you now, and he values what you have more. That's it.

[linduskainen]

I understand and agree with you on that, but I’m just not able to do it! No matter how hard I try I can’t.. I really want to

[linduskainen]

How to be at peace with it?

[gunducci]

The only way to be at peace with it is to accept that this is something which is out of your control. Nothing you can do will change this situation. Makes you unhappy and unsettled if you keep thinking about it.
Take pride instead in the fact that he values you more.

[linduskainen]

I’ll try, many thanks for your help! This’ll help me in the fight.

[gunducci]

You're welcome. :)

[dhruvzz]

Even though she's more beautiful than you, he still broke up with her and got with you. You can see looks are not everything. Plus you look way to good to get jealous from other girls. You like 9.5/10. ;)

[linduskainen]

Ahahah but you don’t know her😁

[dhruvzz]

What's so special about her?

[linduskainen]

Well she looks gorgeous! Okay my boyfriend told me her personality isn’t that good, but still..

[dhruvzz]

Lol. See, even your boyfriend himself told you her personality is not so good and still you're worrying about that girl. You need to stop giving a shit about her now.

[linduskainen]

I KNOOOOOOW! But it’s freaking hard cause this thing is not something I’m imagining, but it’s the reality..

[dhruvzz]

See we boys are so stubborn about girl's personality. At first sight we may like a girl on the basis of their appearance but for a relationship we are more attracted to great personalities even with their average looks.

[linduskainen]

I get it totally. But I need somehow to understand the facts that he is gorgeous, whereas I’m average. I guess this comes with time? And a lot more sessions in my therapy..

[dhruvzz]

I totally understand your situation because I helped one of my female friends who was going through same problem.

[linduskainen]

May I ask how was she getting along with it? And what helped her?

[dhruvzz]

Can you come on personal chat? Chatting on comments is really such an irritating thing. :(

[linduskainen]

Sure!😊

[Amfte]

I maybe late to this but, I know you in person, and you are very pretty, that's for sure, he did not downgrade, I don't what his ex looks like but, he is done with her and is with you and that's all that matters, foucs on yourself and your life alone, fuck other people who are not relavent to you

[AydenHazor]

The easiest way to deal with it is to remember that he chose you. He's not chasing after her, he finds you beautiful just as you are and he chose you.

[linduskainen]

I know that he doesn’t care about her at all anymore, just the opposite.. they need to be in contact every now and then because of a dog.. but how can I accept the fact that she is prettier?

[AydenHazor]

Prettier is a matter of opinion, you finding get prettier doesn't mean she is to his. Also, it doesn't matter if she is prettier, as looks are not the most important thing in a relationship. I've met some stereotypically beautiful girls that are complete wretches, and some less stereotypically beautiful girls that are far more fully beautiful as their beauty isn't just from their appearance, but they are truly amazing people. Physical beauty can only take you so far, deeper beauty comes from inside you, from who you are.

[LegateLanius]

He's with you right? That should be all the assurance you need

[linduskainen]

I know that.. and I’d love to say the same words as you, but I don’t know how to be fine with it!

[TripleAce]

You can't be fine with it... it is what it is
accept that others might be prettier than you...

[Jimmie-Rustler]

Well your like an 8.5/10 so your fine

[linduskainen]

Well you don’t know the ex so yeah..

[Jimmie-Rustler]

No trust me this dude is hitting homeruns.

[linduskainen]

Hahah you’re too kind

[Jimmie-Rustler]

Theirs a reason why he's with you other her. Looks arn't everything. Pick up some of his hobbies also helps.

[linduskainen]

Well we do averagely lot of things together

[JustRollTheDice]

Ignore it he's out of your life

[outside_Toronto]

his past is none of your business. End of story

[Casus_Angelus]

There is more to you than that