Why do guys talk to multiple girls at once?

why do guys talk to multiple girls at once and tell them the same things? do they ever feel bad about it? currently in this situation and cutting things off today

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Because it’s better for guys to keep their options open at the early stage. Talking to girls individually early is not a good use of time, only once you get closer to one of them.

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    • Yeah we are close enough to the point he should NOT be talking to other girls. He doesn’t want me talking to other guys but he can do whatever he wants? BS

    • Okay but those are his rules. You have the freedom of choice not to be a part of that and you are cutting it off. So I don’t understand the angry tone, there are plenty of guys out slug it out one at a time, I hope you find who you’re looking for in one of them.

    • Yeah i know eventually i hope.

  • Hunter gatherer relationship in dating. Guys offer themselves to women, and women either reject or accept. Rejection is more common than acceptance, so you don't "count your chickens before they hatch".

    If you haven't started officially dating I can see where the guy is coming from, otherwise he's just an ass.

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    • We had talked about us both not talking to other people, but apparently he is. He’s said he wants to be with me and made all these promises so it just makes me sick

Most Helpful Girls

  • The more people you talk to, the higher your possibility of getting laid. Also if the guy is still on the market, he can talk to many women. He isn't committed to anyone. I don't see why they would feel bad about it.

    Did you and him commit to each other? If you haven't, then there is no reason for him to limit his options (and the same goes for you).

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  • Going through the same thing doll and wondering when or if it will stop and at what point. Do I wait it out or call it quits before I catch too many feelings.

    Are we both not on the same page? Am I over reacting? Is it all innocent?

    Who knows I don’t think he will be completely honest as if he is I would walk I’m not here to fuck around or be fucked around too many fish in the sea for that even if he is a pretty rad fish and we get along amazingly, I just have learnt my lesson by now and no more heart breaks for me!

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    • You’re not overreacting. If you’ve established not to talk to other people (like we have) then it’s really not fair and it’s disrespectful. I would say to ignore him and see if he tries to come back or even notices if you’re gone lol. I was going to cut things off with my guy today i told him to call me he said he would but never did so I’m just going to not talk to him or try my hardest at least.

    • We haven’t had a chat about what we are or are not. So that also means we haven’t discussed if he’s talking to anyone else or not. But I’m not stupid, I’ve eyes and ears and mostly intuition.

      I have on the other hand said a few things to make certain things pretty clear, but I think guys are very good at wording their phrases between the lines so if you ever say, um but you said this or that they can say no I actually said this.

      Look he can do what he wants as everyone has clearly stated until your committed and official and had the talk, BUT there is still respect decency and what’s right and wrong based on time spent together, where you are at in your courtship, how intimate you are with each other etc that I feel should just naturally mean your not fucking around with anyone else.

      That’s how I feel and am, but I’m loyal and rare I guess

    • Ps good luck with your sitch girl xx I know how much going through this sux.

      Do you have a feeling what will happen if you stick to your guns and don’t contact him?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 71

  • If that's all he's doing, it's OK. You don't know right away which girl is the most interested or best one for you, and you don't want to put all of your eggs in one basket until that basket materializes, i. e, a relationship.

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  • I only do that until I reach a stage of commitment. Once I hit that, i let my the other girls know I am unavailable. I can't speak for other men, but I am not stupid. It's not worth putting so much effort into one person, to risk that connection with another "potential". It helps me learn about women in general too, and understand certain things, since at the beginning, i had zero common sense. I am now learning about stuff, but yeah, until a commitment is made, guys can talk to whoever they want, and so can girls. However, if a guy is making you stop talking to guys, and he is still talking to girls, that's a really dick move on his part. And dishonest. Only girls I think a guy should talk to are STRICT friends, relatives, maybe some coworkers, and that's it. Same for girls. If you see any proof or reason that he is deviating from that, and legitemately flirting with other girls, he is a class A douche bag.
    But most decent guys will stop talking to other girls once we find a girl we really like. Hope this helps

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  • Why do guys apply for different jobs at once?
    Why do guys apply to different universities at once?
    Why do guys apply for different flats at once?

    There's a common thread with all of these and I am sure you're smart enough to figure it out. These situations aren't merely analogous. It's always the same thing in principle, merely what the person tries to get is different.

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  • Maybe he doesn't know what he wants? Or finds it really difficult to make a decision? I went through that recently. Two girls were interested. Both cute. Both smart. Both sweet. I knew I had to choose, but I didn't want to hurt either one. I made a choice. It wasn't easy. Took me days. But I finally did the adult thing, made a choice, and lost both of them.

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  • I did this when I was younger. Don't really know why I did it. I guess in part it was because I liked the attention. I mean, having more than one girl into you was kinda an ego booster, not to mention, I was a teenage guy with hormones raging and all that, so at the time, no I didn't feel bad about it. I grew up though. Now looking back on it, I see how messed up it was.

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    • Yea, ego. But it’s part of being a guy that we are supposed to meet girls often and shit

      Anyway, you explained it good that is why girl like the comment

  • Based on a recent experience, i spent 6 weeks talking exclusively to one woman who ended things for no good reason. As much as i enjoyed that time it felt like a wasted 6 weeks. Currently dating someone, am talking to someone else, do feel a little guilty but haven't had discussion with woman i'm dating about exclusivity yet. If i had then i would not be talking to anyone else

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  • I've spoken to a couple of guys about why they did that. Both have new the same explanation: In case girls A and B suddenly flake out and ghost him, he at least has girl C to continue with.

    Personally I don't like that approach at all. One at a time is the right way.

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  • Instead of getting pissed a guy is talking to more than one woman, why not show him why you are better than the rest?

    Rage qyitting doesn't solve shit.

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    • I have for the few months we’ve been talking. And he posted on his Instagram story today his username and said to add him. He’s just a POS

  • Well talking to several girls and dating several girls is different, though if someone's telling them all the same thing then it's likely because it's a line he uses.

    I personally don't feel bad for it. If I commit then that's different. But that's not what you asked. Guys like the one your talking about never feel guilt.

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  • I believe (It's still an opinion) girls are the culprit here. Girls tend to take time when it comes to deciding if he is the right guy or not. Sometimes they tend to take way too much time. And, even online, girls tend to reply very late usually. By this time, men will look for options and by the time first person replies, most of the others also do. So, he will have several girls to talk to.

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  • When I dates my last girlfriend, I was talking to multiple girls before I dated her. I liked her but I didn't feel too strongly when I asked her out.

    After a couple days in the relationship that girl was all I could think of and she suddenly went from eh to 10/10.

    I presume this is how it is for most guys. Cast a wide net and dedicate yourself to the fish that you catch.

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  • A lot of guys don't know what there thinking while they are doing that if that's the case A he's trying to find the one that's most loyal or one that can hold conversations or B he's a fuckboy trying to get all the attention he can an nd has to talk to multiple girls cause that guy calls it cool.

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  • It is hedging.

    It takes time, effort, and money to go from identifying a potential mate to settling in on a relationship. By hedging, one can reduce the risk of wasting time.

    Women do the same thing.

    If you don't like a guy doing it, then sleep with him immediately and get him to fall in love with you immediately.

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  • a friend of mine does this but he's just a fuckboy and he's really insecure about that.
    anyways my guess being some guys just want to have multiple options ready for if the first one is not their type.
    but to my friend my guess being he's just insecure about something or anything in that direction causing him to only go for sex because that's what he seems to go for.
    on my own take i'd rather have 1 girl that i'll talk to and build stuff with then 3 more options.

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  • Because it increases are chances of finding a girlfriend I'm talking to usually 3 girls at once and usually one ghosts me after a week so... no I dont feel bad about talking to 3 girls at the same time cause if just one is serious that my attention goes straight to her and then fuck all the basic bitchs I want the one that wants an actual relationship

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  • Well guys today are in social chatting apps way overpowered by girls since girls choose "ideal" type. If a guy that is rejected most of thr time finds one girl he would be happy but the "ideal" guys get greedy and "hold their horses" as much as a usual girl can which has way more tinder matches then a guy.

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  • It you're single then there is nothing wrong with it considering you are seeing whats out there and trying to figure out who the perfect partner would be. Nothing wrong with being single and going on different dates with people , but if you plan on doing that , out of respect ypu should try to keep it as secretive as possible

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  • Well girls do it too. And if one is doing that its usally because in thier words they are looking for love in all places. But i think thats bs all people who say that hide behind it i think the truth is they do it cause they are to needy or won't admit they can't stop themselves from the lust that haunts them.

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  • When I’m single I just flirt with whoever unless very I’m exclusively talking to someone most of the time they don’t really like me back so it’s just for boredom but I sAy most guys like to have backup options if it doesn’t work out

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  • I do feel bad about it sometimes bu i mean its just "cutie" maybe a line or two etc and only when i mean it, never like "i never felt this way about anyone" etc. there's a fine line between a little flirting/turning on and deception

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  • Most guys can barely get any girl to talk to them. This applies WAY more to girls. A girl who is average or above in this day and age who is NOT texting at least 4 guys does not exist. Don’t put this on us honey.

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  • Its insincerity. .. they are fishing... it can be two things though... one. they dont know how to talk to women so they use the same line to see which one bites... fishing... Two... they are not interested at all really.. just trying to hook up.

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  • I will quote Spock, it is wise to cultivate other options and this is especially true in the beginning stages of getting to know the other person. My perspective is I am not cheating since it is just getting to know someone. If we make it to date number 3, we get along, and there's chemistry then I'll end the search and see only one woman.

    By the way every girl I've dated does the same thing. I don't see an issue for the girl or guy to do this while they get to know each other. You need to talk to more than one person to see if that is the best person suited to what you need and want.

    By the way I do not advocate lying and say you're only dating one person when actually you're seeing several people. You need to be transparent and if. you're ready to see that person exclusively you have a chat about it.

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  • Same reason girls talk to multiple guys. Most people either have options or they are looking for options. No girl is the only girl on a guy's mind much like no guy is the only guy on a girls mind. No one is 100% faithful in that regard.

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  • The very same reason that girls do it. 🤨
    Until we've mutually agreed to a level of commitment, what's the wrong in that?

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  • but how do you know it's not multiple girls competing for him trying to get some D?

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  • It's like economics. Diversification of investment is the best way to avoid losing everything on one bad guess.

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  • Same reason women do. Until a commitment is made, finding a mate is purely a numbers game. Everyone keeps their options open.

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  • Cause if a guy asks out 10 girls MAYBE 2 will give him a first date. If he only tries one at a time he'll be single forever.

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  • I don’t know any girls.
    I mean it’s part of being a guy in western culture? You are meant to keep on meeting new girls and stuff.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Talking and dating are completely different.
    Let the men test the waters b4 they make any decisions.
    I’m sure just like women, they enjoy the attention from the opposite sex. Just a small conversation with the opposite sex is usually more fun than same sex.

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  • They don't want to put all their eggs in one basket and invest their time in one only to have it flub. That way they can say no biggie and still have a couple of other good prospects. People are talking to others on dating sites all the time, looking for the best offer.

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    • I repeatedly make the mistake of putting all eggs in one basket and it NEVER leads to anything but dissapointment

  • Cos they think that showing they have more than 1 girl whom is interested in them wiĺl make them look cool. But they're actually making life worse for themselves as later in life it may become harder for them to actually find the 1 instead of having multiple women and then they will end up dad and lonely

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  • Couse they hope.. That in all of this girls.. One of the girls.. Is the right one.. Till then. The hunting continues

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  • I do it too, unless I meet someone I’m extremely down for. I think as long as they clarify that, it’s completely okay tbh.

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  • not everyone wants commitment, talk to him about it

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  • Because they are not serious about any of those girls, but haven't found -the one- yet.

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  • They feel more secure while having too many options around. Get over them, they r worthless

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  • Makes me wonder if girls do the same thing idrk

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  • Us girls do it too tho

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  • dont put all ur eggs into one basket

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  • Because he thinks it’s fun to play games

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  • Hoeing around

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  • Scared of commitment

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