Why do guys talk to multiple girls at once?

Question

why do guys talk to multiple girls at once and tell them the same things? do they ever feel bad about it? currently in this situation and cutting things off today

HitGirl_4680 · Accepted Answer

Going through the same thing doll and wondering when or if it will stop and at what point. Do I wait it out or call it quits before I catch too many feelings.

Are we both not on the same page? Am I over reacting? Is it all innocent?

Who knows I don’t think he will be completely honest as if he is I would walk I’m not here to fuck around or be fucked around too many fish in the sea for that even if he is a pretty rad fish and we get along amazingly, I just have learnt my lesson by now and no more heart breaks for me!

AuroraRoseat · Accepted Answer

The more people you talk to, the higher your possibility of getting laid. Also if the guy is still on the market, he can talk to many women. He isn't committed to anyone. I don't see why they would feel bad about it.

Did you and him commit to each other? If you haven't, then there is no reason for him to limit his options (and the same goes for you).

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hunter gatherer relationship in dating. Guys offer themselves to women, and women either reject or accept. Rejection is more common than acceptance, so you don't "count your chickens before they hatch".

If you haven't started officially dating I can see where the guy is coming from, otherwise he's just an ass.

Cosytoasty · Accepted Answer

Because it’s better for guys to keep their options open at the early stage. Talking to girls individually early is not a good use of time, only once you get closer to one of them.

Logorithim · Answer

If that's all he's doing, it's OK. You don't know right away which girl is the most interested or best one for you, and you don't want to put all of your eggs in one basket until that basket materializes, i. e, a relationship.

Omaewamo · Answer

I only do that until I reach a stage of commitment. Once I hit that, i let my the other girls know I am unavailable. I can't speak for other men, but I am not stupid. It's not worth putting so much effort into one person, to risk that connection with another "potential". It helps me learn about women in general too, and understand certain things, since at the beginning, i had zero common sense. I am now learning about stuff, but yeah, until a commitment is made, guys can talk to whoever they want, and so can girls. However, if a guy is making you stop talking to guys, and he is still talking to girls, that's a really dick move on his part. And dishonest. Only girls I think a guy should talk to are STRICT friends, relatives, maybe some coworkers, and that's it. Same for girls. If you see any proof or reason that he is deviating from that, and legitemately flirting with other girls, he is a class A douche bag.
But most decent guys will stop talking to other girls once we find a girl we really like. Hope this helps

James_R · Answer

I will quote Spock, it is wise to cultivate other options and this is especially true in the beginning stages of getting to know the other person. My perspective is I am not cheating since it is just getting to know someone. If we make it to date number 3, we get along, and there's chemistry then I'll end the search and see only one woman.

By the way every girl I've dated does the same thing. I don't see an issue for the girl or guy to do this while they get to know each other. You need to talk to more than one person to see if that is the best person suited to what you need and want.

By the way I do not advocate lying and say you're only dating one person when actually you're seeing several people. You need to be transparent and if. you're ready to see that person exclusively you have a chat about it.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Because it's in our 'NATURE'.

Lifelong Monogamy is one of the biggest scams perpetuated upon humanity (aside from Religion).

Most people are not cut out for one partner their entire lives. That's not me saying that, the Statistics on divorce and infidelity already say that. The question is WHY does monogamy fail so often? It's because we are Primate Mammalians and we evolved to be polyamorous, not monogamous ! Study Human Anthropology and free yourself from the fairytale life of lifelong monogamy!

Also read 'SEX AT DAWN' by Cecilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan!

kaewk · Answer

Talking and dating are completely different.
Let the men test the waters b4 they make any decisions.
I’m sure just like women, they enjoy the attention from the opposite sex. Just a small conversation with the opposite sex is usually more fun than same sex.

ZanyInternetName · Answer

Why do guys apply for different jobs at once?
Why do guys apply to different universities at once?
Why do guys apply for different flats at once?

There's a common thread with all of these and I am sure you're smart enough to figure it out. These situations aren't merely analogous. It's always the same thing in principle, merely what the person tries to get is different.

jordantallblack · Answer

Well girls do it too. And if one is doing that its usally because in thier words they are looking for love in all places. But i think thats bs all people who say that hide behind it i think the truth is they do it cause they are to needy or won't admit they can't stop themselves from the lust that haunts them.

NineBreaker · Answer

I've spoken to a couple of guys about why they did that. Both have new the same explanation: In case girls A and B suddenly flake out and ghost him, he at least has girl C to continue with.

Personally I don't like that approach at all. One at a time is the right way.

WalterRadio · Answer

It is hedging.

It takes time, effort, and money to go from identifying a potential mate to settling in on a relationship. By hedging, one can reduce the risk of wasting time.

Women do the same thing.

If you don't like a guy doing it, then sleep with him immediately and get him to fall in love with you immediately.

Finchie40 · Answer

It you're single then there is nothing wrong with it considering you are seeing whats out there and trying to figure out who the perfect partner would be. Nothing wrong with being single and going on different dates with people , but if you plan on doing that , out of respect ypu should try to keep it as secretive as possible

TrixiePooch · Answer

They don't want to put all their eggs in one basket and invest their time in one only to have it flub. That way they can say no biggie and still have a couple of other good prospects. People are talking to others on dating sites all the time, looking for the best offer.

Aetotone · Answer

Maybe he doesn't know what he wants? Or finds it really difficult to make a decision? I went through that recently. Two girls were interested. Both cute. Both smart. Both sweet. I knew I had to choose, but I didn't want to hurt either one. I made a choice. It wasn't easy. Took me days. But I finally did the adult thing, made a choice, and lost both of them.

Kelly_aleksandra · Answer

Cos they think that showing they have more than 1 girl whom is interested in them wiĺl make them look cool. But they're actually making life worse for themselves as later in life it may become harder for them to actually find the 1 instead of having multiple women and then they will end up dad and lonely

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Based on a recent experience, i spent 6 weeks talking exclusively to one woman who ended things for no good reason. As much as i enjoyed that time it felt like a wasted 6 weeks. Currently dating someone, am talking to someone else, do feel a little guilty but haven't had discussion with woman i'm dating about exclusivity yet. If i had then i would not be talking to anyone else

HiraethThought · Answer

I did this when I was younger. Don't really know why I did it. I guess in part it was because I liked the attention. I mean, having more than one girl into you was kinda an ego booster, not to mention, I was a teenage guy with hormones raging and all that, so at the time, no I didn't feel bad about it. I grew up though. Now looking back on it, I see how messed up it was.

Gopnik · Answer

a friend of mine does this but he's just a fuckboy and he's really insecure about that.
anyways my guess being some guys just want to have multiple options ready for if the first one is not their type.
but to my friend my guess being he's just insecure about something or anything in that direction causing him to only go for sex because that's what he seems to go for.
on my own take i'd rather have 1 girl that i'll talk to and build stuff with then 3 more options.

Boo_Boo_Bumpkin · Answer

Because it increases are chances of finding a girlfriend I'm talking to usually 3 girls at once and usually one ghosts me after a week so... no I dont feel bad about talking to 3 girls at the same time cause if just one is serious that my attention goes straight to her and then fuck all the basic bitchs I want the one that wants an actual relationship

GeorgeGeorgenson · Answer

Well guys today are in social chatting apps way overpowered by girls since girls choose "ideal" type. If a guy that is rejected most of thr time finds one girl he would be happy but the "ideal" guys get greedy and "hold their horses" as much as a usual girl can which has way more tinder matches then a guy.

Yatagurusu · Answer

When I dates my last girlfriend, I was talking to multiple girls before I dated her. I liked her but I didn't feel too strongly when I asked her out.

After a couple days in the relationship that girl was all I could think of and she suddenly went from eh to 10/10.

I presume this is how it is for most guys. Cast a wide net and dedicate yourself to the fish that you catch.

Anonymous · Answer

Both sexes do it.

I call it hedging bets. They keep multiple options going in the event things don't work with one, they have a fall back, or multiple fall backs.

Women that do this tend to string along "friendships" with guys they are fully aware want more. Men tend to have these blurry deals where they won't allow things to go beyond the "talking" phase with the backups.

Edanurus · Answer

Well talking to several girls and dating several girls is different, though if someone's telling them all the same thing then it's likely because it's a line he uses.

I personally don't feel bad for it. If I commit then that's different. But that's not what you asked. Guys like the one your talking about never feel guilt.

fazilkp · Answer

I believe (It's still an opinion) girls are the culprit here. Girls tend to take time when it comes to deciding if he is the right guy or not. Sometimes they tend to take way too much time. And, even online, girls tend to reply very late usually. By this time, men will look for options and by the time first person replies, most of the others also do. So, he will have several girls to talk to.

benjaminqualitza · Answer

A lot of guys don't know what there thinking while they are doing that if that's the case A he's trying to find the one that's most loyal or one that can hold conversations or B he's a fuckboy trying to get all the attention he can an nd has to talk to multiple girls cause that guy calls it cool.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a kind of “not putting egg in one basket” kind of deal, but only kind of.

They are forced to be opportunistic. Guys have to seize on opportunities as they arise and they have to cultivate a social life where these opportunities arise. They can afford to just stop talking.

RenegadeSailor · Answer

Instead of getting pissed a guy is talking to more than one woman, why not show him why you are better than the rest?  Rage qyitting doesn't solve shit.

Jackieboi · Answer

I do feel bad about it sometimes bu i mean its just "cutie" maybe a line or two etc and only when i mean it, never like "i never felt this way about anyone" etc. there's a fine line between a little flirting/turning on and deception

Anonymous · Answer

Well dating can kinda be like hunting people don’t want to have a sniper riffle and shoot one shot for a duck (duck being a person) and so what they do is bring a shotgun (shotgun being talking to a lot of people) so that no matter where they aim they will hit at least one

JamesDylan1990 · Answer

When I’m single I just flirt with whoever unless very I’m exclusively talking to someone most of the time they don’t really like me back so it’s just for boredom but I sAy most guys like to have backup options if it doesn’t work out

LonelyGuy87 · Answer

Most guys can barely get any girl to talk to them. This applies WAY more to girls. A girl who is average or above in this day and age who is NOT texting at least 4 guys does not exist. Don’t put this on us honey.

Lance1965 · Answer

Same reason girls talk to multiple guys. Most people either have options or they are looking for options. No girl is the only girl on a guy's mind much like no guy is the only guy on a girls mind. No one is 100% faithful in that regard.

ImSoSquishy · Answer

but how do you know it's not multiple girls competing for him trying to get some D?

Chaz269 · Answer

Same reason women do. Until a commitment is made, finding a mate is purely a numbers game. Everyone keeps their options open.

hebrewhammer0924 · Answer

Its insincerity. .. they are fishing... it can be two things though... one. they dont know how to talk to women so they use the same line to see which one bites... fishing... Two... they are not interested at all really.. just trying to hook up.

ForteExe · Answer

Cause if a guy asks out 10 girls MAYBE 2 will give him a first date. If he only tries one at a time he'll be single forever.

Jack_L_andTurn · Answer

It's like economics. Diversification of investment is the best way to avoid losing everything on one bad guess.

winterfox10 · Answer

So many girls lead you on and play you, so you talk with a few so that you don't take it too seriously

Stockton · Answer

Just there on the opposite side. She wanted to find the best one out of all of them. She picked me😎

bubble_tea · Answer

Because they are not serious about any of those girls, but haven't found -the one- yet.

ravenengr · Answer

keeping there options open... because they know they will scare away 75% of them

heylovess2001 · Answer

I do it too, unless I meet someone I’m extremely down for. I think as long as they clarify that, it’s completely okay tbh.

RockStarBob · Answer

The very same reason that girls do it. 🤨 Until we've mutually agreed to a level of commitment, what's the wrong in that?

amelia2345678 · Answer

Couse they hope.. That in all of this girls.. One of the girls.. Is the right one.. Till then. The hunting continues

AmazingGuy008 · Answer

No, we don't feel bad about it and I'd say we think it's perfectly normal. If you advance with that you, maybe you can ask him to stop talking to those girls or he will do by himself (I do it a lot).

Anonymous · Answer

Because girls can't make up their mind, and every time I've put all my eggs in one basket I'm the one who gets burned. Never again.

worldscolide · Answer

For the same reason women talk to multiple men at once. Because we can.

Nahid1707 · Answer

I don’t know any girls.  I mean it’s part of being a guy in western culture? You are meant to keep on meeting new girls and stuff.

Taxation_is_Theft · Answer

I have a hard enough time talking to one girl, no way I'd be able to do it with multiple.

Volvagia · Answer

not everyone wants commitment, talk to him about it

jyoung726 · Answer

simple math the more you talk to the better your chances of getting laid

BobbyC65 · Answer

There trying to has sex with multiple girl's at once. I guess.

Synesthesia256 · Answer

IF I'm serious with someone, I only talk to someone.  Bt if I talk for fun, limit is the sky.

corkr900 · Answer

Because most women lose interest quickly, so guys need to play it as a numbers game in order to actually find a partner who doesn't leave

MountainDewMan · Answer

Yes, talking and dating is not the same. Until we agree on a relationship. There is no reason not to continue talking.

Robert77 · Answer

There’s nothing wrong with talking as long as he isn’t asking them out or dating them

deeznutzzz · Answer

That's the best thing to do... If they talking to several or even u and another that's too many and his motives aren't true

youssefwahb · Answer

We do it because it's fun honestly -as bad as it sounds- but to be honest, talking to two women or more at one time, means you love neither of them.

valualty · Answer

I guess because in an ideal world if don't do something it gets done to you

RumEro · Answer

women do it more than guys , for guys it's a ego boost

DaMack999 · Answer

Don't you like variety in life. Can you eat the Same food every day. Not complain.

Didi1 · Answer

They feel more secure while having too many options around. Get over them, they r worthless

Why do guys talk to multiple girls at once?

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