Why are there negative feelings about white guys who date East/Southeast Asian women?

[Logorithim]

I've generally never heard this stuff said about any other interracial combination. Comments like:

"Yellow fever"
"Creepy"
"Fetishist"

[desidoll]

My best friends are all Asians so I guess I can answer this. The negative comments arise because the truth is there are a few of white guys who date Asian girls solely because of their race. This is coming from my Asian friends. I have this Chinese friend who dated one white guy just to find out that he dated her just because of her being Asian. He ended up cheated on her with another Thai girl but eventually married a Russian girl. My friend almost commit suicide because of him. This is just one story. I know more from my Asian friends.
However, of course not all white men fetishize Asian women. There are many who are just naturally attracted to them.

[Logorithim]

@desidoll- have any of your friends had good experiences with white boyfriends or husbands?

From what I understand from Chinese friends, cheating on or even breaking up with a Chinese woman is viewed as deeming her as not worthy as a girlfriend rather than merely the cheater's personal failing.

[desidoll]

Yes but not really my own friends but more like my mum's friends so there are kinda around your age. Not sure if age plays a role too but from what I have seen, the outcome of them dating a young white guy seems to be quite negative. I don't really think it is because of the fetish stigma but more of them choosing the wrong guys.

[Nachowedgie]

There are also Asian women who date white guys solely because they're and and have babies with them so they can have mixed babies, for some reason that's a huge thing over there

[desidoll]

@Nachowedgie Well I didn't say white fever doesn't exist. It goes both ways and it is wrong to like someone solely because of them being "X" race. I have a best friend who will date an Arab guy just because of him being a Middle Eastern. About the mix babies thing, this is usually coming from Asians like Chinese, Filipina, Indonesians etc... Korean and Japanese seem to prefer their own kind although it is always depends on the individual.

[Logorithim]

@desidoll , since you are in Asia and in a Country with a significant Chinese minority, can you Hazard a guess as to what percentage of Chinese women would date or marry a White guy?

[desidoll]

I am pretty bad at rounding up a percentage but I'd say probably 40%? The rest still prefer their own men and they want them to be rich. My students are like 95% Chinese with some Koreans and Filipinos. Two Chinese boys once came to me saying they won't date Chinese girls because they are materialistic and when the girls heard, they called them out saying if you can't afford us, "ang moh" guys are always there for us. Ang moh means White men. I didn't take them seriously lol since they are all still young to understand life. I enjoy exchanging some opinions with them.

[Logorithim]

Very interesting, and I appreciate the insights.

[WalterRadio]

" I'd say probably 40%?"
Shortly after my Indonesian girlfriend and I consummated our relationship, she introduced me to all her girlfriends. They were all quite jealous of her and wanted to know if I had any other single bule friends I could introduce them to. (they also asked her about the size of my penis, not knowing I could understand Indonesian)

I had heard a myth that many Indonesian women have a fantasy of having sex with a bule. I asked these young women what they thought of that. They said it was true. I asked to be more specific, if language were not an issue (it is), what percent would actually do it? They talked about it among themselves and agreed that it was 70%. I think their number may be right of rich Jakarta college girls, and I cannot say I disagree with them. It is certainly too high for other parts of the country.

[Nachowedgie]

What the hell is a bule?

[desidoll]

@WalterRadio he was asking about Malaysian Chinese. Not sure if 70% is accurate but I think it is a little too high. About the jealousy part I can agree since I experience it myself. One of my friends told me that the other two friends secretly wish my boyfriend (he's White) dump me.

[Kelly6]

To me it looks like fetish.
Because my husband loves to sleep with paki girls.

[Nachowedgie]

@Kelly6

1. Well you're an idiot for thinking that because that isn't what it is

2. Get a divorce you stupid women

[Kelly6]

@Nachowedgie
We both picked open relationship , so why I need divorce?

[Nachowedgie]

1. Open relationships aren't common so I assumed you were complaining about him cheating.

2. That in itself though is incredibly dumb and a really bad idea

[WalterRadio]

@Nachowedgie
"bule" = "gweilo"

[Nachowedgie]

@WalterRadio And what does that mean in English

[WalterRadio]

@Nachowedgie
Gweilo is literally "white ghost".

They are terms for ethnic Europeans.

[desidoll]

@WalterRadio Here people refer White men as "mat salleh"

[WalterRadio]

I have been sternly told by Malaysian officers when I attempted to speak to them in my Indonesian style bahasa, "That's not how we say it here!"

[desidoll]

@WalterRadio Hahaha yea these two nations both want to stand up for their own bahasa.

[desidoll]

Thanks for the MHO

[Letitgoogoo]

I think it's because some people assume Asian women are submissive and 'obedient' because of their small stature and their facial features and body type in general. But it's not really creepy unless the guy goes out of his way to only date Asian women because he thinks they are more submissive and easy to control.

[Logorithim]

The irony is that they are usually not submissive and easy to control (ask a guy whose Japanese or Chinese wife insists on full control of the family's finances). The reason for that stereotype is that it's considered very bad in East Asian cultures to lose your temper (being emotional is tolerated somewhat more in Korea).

[Logorithim]

I think you hit the nail on the head, though.

[Nachowedgie]

Well I'd prefer to only really date Asian women but it's nothing to do with being submissive or easy to control. I just find them generally far more attractive than other races and I love Japanese culture specifically, love the hard work and the fact that they tend to be very family oriented which I look for in a partner. So would I be considered creepy to you?

[Letitgoogoo]

@logorithim I agree. The east Asian women I've met so far were quite serious especially in professional settings, nothing like what people would imagine they would be if they judged them by their looks.

[Letitgoogoo]

@Nachowedgie no. I was talking about the kind of guys who think that Asian women look submissive and that is the only reason for them to date them.
But if you just find them more attractive there is nothing wrong with that I suppose.

[Nachowedgie]

Cool beans, I appreciate it

[WalterRadio]

"some people assume Asian women are submissive and 'obedient' "
Only someone who has never lived with an Asian woman could think that.

They aren't called Tiger Moms for being kittens.

[Logorithim]

@WalterRadio: Quite true

[Nachowedgie]

Lol very true

[nathanp97]

So are women who only date taller men and go out of their way to do so creepy? It is pretty much the same thing.

[Nachowedgie]

No of course not because the dating world is riddled with doubled standards and injustice

[Cosytoasty]

It's the image of the old fat bald white tourist in Asia looking for a wife because he's not high value enough in his own western country. It's probably the only interracial combo where it actually happens?

It's a little different to white guys dating western born Asians they get much more of a pass because it's seen as a more *equal* deal.

[Logorithim]

That type of guy will indeed only have bar girls interested in him, but there are also older European women that do sex tourism or get husbands in a somewhat similar manner from Africa or the Middle East.

[Cosytoasty]

Oh I’m sure they do, although a lot of the time it’s an old woman tricked out of their money by a 21 year old African boyfriend. They usually receive pity and scorn rather than just insults.

FWIW my brother in law is white and actually the negative feelings came from our side of the family who felt my sister married beneath her somewhat (something I also get a little for having a white fiancé). The negative feelings go very much to both ways, it’s just more mainstream to blame the white people lol.

[Logorithim]

Here in Germany, the most common scheme is to marry an older woman around 50 or so in order to get permanent residency or citizenship (sometimes they will even pay her), then divorce her and marry a woman from their own country (often being paid by her family to do it).

[Cosytoasty]

Ty for MH!

[Nachowedgie]

I don't get it either, I just think people are sad, bitter and jealous and take it out on people and try and make people feel bad simply for what they find attractive.

[WalterRadio]

I have dated a LOT of East and SEA women.

Many of those women are hookers. Find the gaggle of Filipino and Thai wives at a military base and I guarantee 2/3rds+ of them are hookers the men met at a bar. I read somewhere that by the fall of Saigon, 20% of the women there between 17 and 60 had prostituted themselves at some time during the war. Westerners sometimes wrongly assume they are all hookers. (I never date bargirls; I can't stand them)

They tend to have less of a hangup over age than Western women. It is fine for a 19 year old girl to be marrying a 50 year old guy in their minds. But it drives Western women batty.

There is usually a disparity in socio-economic position for the SEA women. An American or European making $45,000 a year is rich in their minds. Westerners often automatically assume they are gold diggers (and some are).

These women are often much sweeter and kinder than the typical hardened bitch Western woman (applies mostly to single/divorced women over 30). They despise the competition.

East Asian women (Korean, Japanese, and non-mainland Chinese), are usually more intelligent than their western counterpart. They can be sweet, pretty, slim, and smart; all the things that a western woman hates.

The labels you described should only apply to those few guys who are wrapped around a culture, of which a girl from that culture is a piece of his collection. It exists, but is rare. Mostly, white guys who date Asian women simply want someone with certain positive traits that are not as common among white women. Also, it is because Asian women want to date them.

A successful, intelligent, respectful white man gets chased by ambitious, smart, pretty Asian women. That works for me.

[Logorithim]

Although you've made some really accurate points here, I'm compelled to point out that Vietnam was actually a pretty prudish society during the Vietnam War and it's only in recent years that out-of-wedlock sex has become common among younger people. It's nothing like Thailand or the Philippines.

[Nachowedgie]

You have literally summed it up perfectly, thank you

[Logorithim]

@WalterRadio: Military guys when overseas usually mess around with the women that are most accessible to them (this often also means speaking idiomatic English that they learned from other servicemembers), and it's not unique to Asia- in Europe, there are also the "barracks girls".

[WalterRadio]

@Logorithim
"Vietnam was actually a pretty prudish society during the Vietnam War"
Not having any money to buy food for yourself or your family tends to overcome prudishness.

The mother of one Vietnamese girl I dated, American born, UCLA graduate in chemistry and a virgin until our first date fits the profile. She was extremely strict on her daughter, not allowing her to even visit friends or have friends over. She had that look of shame when I met her, as though a white guy dating her daughter brought back memories she wanted to forget.

[Logorithim]

Oh, sure, there was plenty of that (and not unique to Vietnam), just that it wasn't as longstanding as in Thailand and the Philippines. It wasn't just white guys, either- nonwhite US troops and Korean troops that also served in Vietnam also had Vietnamese gfs.

The image of a wm-af couple should have caught up with the times, though, since these days These couples typically meet on University campuses or professional workplaces, as you have.

[WalterRadio]

The last Asian women I've been with were a law student, a nurse, a marketeer, an engineering student, a business student (and rich daughter of a C-level executive at a major corporation)... nothing to be wanting.

[andreasderjuengere]

Being in the midst of this: Especially Thailand and the Phillippines for some part are known for sex-tourism. To a certain extent, these stereotypes are justified. Myself, I am also frequently ''judged'', simply because timing, location and ethnicity match. I can assure all of you guys not being here: the local ladies cook water the same way they cook it at your own places... ;) // Where does a ''negativity'' come from? I see two major motivations: One is a sort of envy; which has no base or realistic foundation, but just comes from the stereotypes I mentioned. One other is disapproval where I actually join in: to be with an Asian lady is ok - but for the right reasons (and feelings), please.

[Stockton]

Because racist with small minds always want to keep their "bloodlines" "pure". Then again their are a small percentage of people who have a fetish. But that will be the same percentage of people who have any fetish whether it be racial, or a body part etc.

[Ellie-V]

Maybe because a lot of people don’t get the hype.
I mean in my opinion a lot of Asian girls look like fragile stick figures. I don't know but maybe that’s what guys are into these days..🤷🏾‍♀️
However, there is SOME truth that men in general who only have a thing for Asians tend to have a fetish thing going on. Probably because of the preconceived notions about Asian ladies being submissive.
Which isn’t 100% wrong...

[TacosRAwesome]

I only think their obsession is weird when they think Asians are perfect just because they're cute. Otherwise they can date anyone who makes them happy.

[Nachowedgie]

Would you think the same about any other interracial coupling

[Logorithim]

@Nachowedgie: I think to some extent there is somewhat of a double standard regarding wm/af couples, i. e., that it is OK to be openly negative about them.

[TacosRAwesome]

@Nachowedgie well its Asians and to an extent Eastern Europeans that have that reputation so I can't say the same about other races. But be free to date whoever you like.

[ATuairiscean]

We are just in the negative stereotyping area for some reason some combinations in interracial dating draw ire white men/asian women, white women/black men - There is probably an element in each race who feel everyone should stay in their own race, bit 17th century I think.

[Aynsof]

Well there is the presumption that white guys who cannot find white women who will tolerate them will get go to Thailand or wherever to find a white who will accept them just to get into a better situation in life
Wether it is true or not is another matter

[iFarted]

Cause it is a fetish, i have 2 white coworkers that literally gawk at allll east Asian girls. Even the not so appealing ones.

[Logorithim]

Some do have a fetish, but, trust me, far from all.

[iFarted]

Well, i dont truly believe its always a fetish but i does seem like a lot of times it is.

[Anonymous]

To be honest I've seen some really hot white guys with some ugly Asian girls which cause me to believe that white guys like any Asian girl hence the stereotype of them having yellow fever

[Logorithim]

Asian friends tell me that white guys seem to find Asian girls attractive that usually aren't considered attractive by Asian guys. That makes me wonder if white guys like Asian women who are a little bigger than average.

[Opinion Owner]

White guys are their main preference so they don't care what other Asian guys think. Also, I wonder why white guys are so drawn to Asians than Latinas. Is it because they think that Latinas have African DNA?

[Logorithim]

I think in the US there are more White guy/Latinas couples than White guy/Asian woman couples. Latinos and Latinas are less straightforward racially, that's true, and there are differences among Hispanic groups. For example, Mexicans have relatively little African DNA, which is definitely not the case for Latinas with roots in the Caribbean, Colombia, Venezuela and Ecuador. Skin color probably does play a role, though, in White guy/Latina couples.

I think what attracts most White guys to Asian women is that they are very unlikely to be overweight, they often have a good education and career, and they are very family-oriented.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh okay

[WalterRadio]

@Logorithim
" if white guys like Asian women who are a little bigger than average"
I married pair of friends of mine I've known for almost 20 years is Filipino F/WM. He specifically can't stand larger women and pointed out how fat the average American woman is compared to the average Filipina.

[Logorithim]

@WalterRadio: Yeah, that's a big reason for white guys' interest in Asians, but a little bigger than the average Asian is still thin by US standards.

[aaronbw]

Honestly I dont get why people are so worked up over interracial dating. As long as they are human it doesn't matter. Anyone of us gets cut, we all bleed red.

[LegateLanius]

I think it's because racists can't get their heads out of their asses. It's the same reason why someone is said to have jungle fever for liking black people.

[Nachowedgie]

I agree

[unkqty]

not in my world.
it's not my "thing;" however, it's their business and choice, not mine.

[TripleAce]

It becomes closed off if everyone feels the same and it catches on... I guess

[Kelly6]

We are in open relationship.

And my husband have sex with Asian girl from Pakistan, but we don’t see it as negative.
Matter of fact; he’s even looking for another girl from South Asia

[Anonymous]

White women won't have sex with you if they know you dated an Asian girl. They kill you with their eyes in the street if they see you walk around hand in hand with Asian girls.

[Logorithim]

I don't believe that for one minute (I have had plenty of sex with white women after having had Asian gfs). White women have plenty of options.

[Opinion Owner]

Well in your generation. Millennials are quite racist.

[Logorithim]

Has this actually happened to you?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah man. Also my gym boss has an Asian wife, white women hate him.

[Logorithim]

Is this in California?

[Opinion Owner]

No in Belgium.

[WalterRadio]

A Korean girlfriend I had wanted to have a white girl join us in bed. It never happened because she was too picky, but it was always amusing.

[Logorithim]

I've never heard of that being a problem in Germany. There are some guys with Asian gfs or wives, but they're most likely to be Thai here, and I've never heard a German women express jealousy for them or any other Asian women. German guys who like foreign women prefer ones from the Balkans, Poland or Russia other than Thailand.

[blubblubblub]

just another dumby generalization

[Lance1965]

I don't get it. To me they are just other people.

[YourCrusader]

Why should we even care. Screw who you want. Yolo.

[Anonymous]

Because they are jealous. Duh

[John_Bouff]

Cause they bought them

[Logorithim]

Guys these days meet them at work or at universities.