Would you date a therapist? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

I'm a mental health therapist and I've found that a lot of guys get turned off/afraid of this fact. They constantly think I'm analyzing them and diagnosing when I'm not! I've noticed they change the way they act around me when they find this fact out so I've stopped saying what I do. They also hold back feelings and truth from me since they freak out that I can figure them out better than most. Would this bother you guys?

[Brando]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. The problem I would actually have is if I was your patient lol. I would feel that you were off limits to me.

But anyway, no it wouldn't bother me if you are a therapist. The one thing I can say that doctors seem to be is dominating. I don't know what it is, I guess doctors are more nurturing and tend to want to take care of people more? It might put them off if you seem really dominating. I actually feel really comfortable with people who are doctors because they are super open minded. Try playing that aspect (if you're open minded, that is) and maybe it will show men that you are accepting and an understanding person that DOESN'T critique their every move.

[Asker]

You're the second person to bring up dominating and I never would have thought of that! Maybe I do come across that way when I really don't mean to. Something to think about, thanks!

[Brando]

Well see, that's how it would appear to other people. If you are actually the nurturing, "doctor-ly" type of person, then to you it's showing interest and compassion for a person. But if you are looking out for them like a mother would her child, then it's either dominating or clingy. The only reason I say dominating is because you might be caring so much about someone that it's almost against their will.

I could be wrong about all this nurturing stuff though haha.

[Belgie]

I would have a problem with it, but not for the reasons you stated.

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be analysing me all the time or anything like that. But I think all women have an annoying tendency to want to "improve" their man, or fix him in some way. And I think in a therapist, such a tendency would be magnified to a frankly impossibly annoying degree.

[Sharigirl]

I know what you mean. Have you read The 5 love languages? I found it very informal. Once you figuare out what love language someone speaks it's easier to find a partner that understands you and how you communicate. I recommend it highly for any couple.

Men can be intimidated by an educated woman. Especially anything thing to do with feelings or emotions.

[Asker]

No but I will check it out! You're so right. I have a graduate degree in it as well so that also makes them nervous and they always say that I'm smarter (when I'm not) and get intimidated haha.

[DrownedInBananaMilk]

cutie, don't worry too much about it. confident guys will date you. only insecure/weak guys might get intimidated by you (i'm sure you don't want to date one of those "men"). don't stop saying what you do... it's part of who you are. I'm pretty sure there are guys out there who are actually turned on by the fact you're a therapist.

almost forgot, do you tend to dominate the guys you go out with?

[Asker]

I don't think so, but I do tend to pick men who need "fixing" out of natural habit so I guess I dominate them in a way of understanding emotions/relationships more.

[DrownedInBananaMilk]

"I don't think so, but I do tend to pick men who need "fixing"..."

to be honest, every man needs "fixing". are you attracted to sensitive men? have you ever tried dating a therapist? many guys think therapists can see through their minds by simply looking at them (which is ridiculous. obviously), so try to make sure they understand you don't have superhuman strength. they need to know you're just another girl that needs love, so don't act in an overly didactic way.

[Asker]

Haha, I like that... everyone could use an improvement. No, I don't date my own kind, I don't think it would work! Yes, I love sensitive guys who can talk bout their feelings. Maybe I do attract these men because they think I can help them, which sometimes I do but it makes dating them weird.

[Thiezz]

> I'm a mental health therapist and I've found that a lot of guys get turned off/afraid of this fact

And how does that make you feel? ;)

[Asker]

Lol like I need my own therapist! No but seriously, I feel cheated on how great I am for someone just because of the fact that I want to help other people. Not fair!

[Anonymous]

Not only was the potential therapist/dater dominating, but manipulative. The person could not remove themselves from a therapeutic reference. There as constant referral to their training, and the person did not seem stable. I could have been hurt by this expereience had I not had the ability to step out of my perspective to see things as they are without any ornimentation. There was an ethical challenge for the therpist.