I was picky once. Got abused. Then left the guy & was stalked for 2 years. He'd probably be still stalking me 20 years later. But the guys been in jail multiple times according to the mug shots online. Last year on google I saw he robbed a bank & tried to pled he was insane & not aware it was wrong to rob a bank. After my experience with that loser. I pay more attention to my instincts
The problem is your unrealistic expectations, and not knowing what type of person is actually right for you. It's not about just you pay attention to your instincts is about how you were taught and what you actually thought what a man actually is. A lot of these guys today are not men. You sadly got caught up with the type of person that was hell-bent on destroying your life and clearly ended up making an example out of you of your naiveness. You're very blessed that you did not end up dead. I am simply talking about when you already have the right mind frame, the right mindset, you brought up with morals, you understand Godly values, you filled with both the knowledge and wisdom to how to properly navigate into this world, and you know better not to be dating strangers in a close friend that you know for a very long time. When you date strangers sadly that's exactly what ends up happening. They don't know you, they owe you nothing. You owe it to yourself to be more safer and aware of who you allow in your life.
Never judge a person by their physical appearance such as their looks. You judge a person by their character.
God remove bad people from your life let alone not allow them to cross your path if you only he to his warnings and stay underneath his covering. But when you choose to go out of his will and choose to do you're will that's exactly what happens to people. I learned that the hard way when I was 19 years old.
I use to like a guy I knew a little for along time. Then after 20 years of knowing him. He started making racist, homophobic & making sexual comments about women. I dodged a bullet when he told me he doesn't like me that way. I stopped talking to him early this year. So you could think someone is nice for years & they could change
Plus he was saying how he knows I have sexual fantasies about another guy & he was making me uncomfortable, angry etc
Oh trust me, he had a lot of signs that shown he got issues. The problem is you were too focused on his niceness and not who he could really be behind the mask. b that's why you need somebody who is far more experienced on those levels to be able to help guide you into what kind of person is okay for you to be around who's not. All those things you are telling me all red flags. They often times already had these ideas for many years you just never seen their true colors up into now.
Seeing my mother on her deathbed because of her sexual choices*Sorry for many typos *
Can be responsible for my own*
He never acted that way. Until me knowing him for 20 year's. His own family, friends & co workers even asked me if I noticed a change in him. I said yes he's not acting right or he's finally just is showing his true colors
Of course he's never going to act that way because that's all on the surface. The point is you're not the one that's monitoring his life 24/7 every single day for the rest of his life. You're not God. The only one who knows that for sure is God. If you see any kind of problems What description see, you got to question it right away.
Couldn't agree more. When people had structure and followed order with nature things went smooth as soon as we decided to fuck around like animals instead of marrying people and asking for daughter's hand be dating or otherwise respect went out the door for parents. Girls coming home pregnant out of wedlock has become the norm.
Marriage rate, divorce rate, sex before marriage, frequency of cheating no of sexual partners, age of first sexual encounter. Some metrics that can measure pickyness
I wouldn't say it's necessarily that those girls need to be more picky, I'd say they need to change what they want. When a girl wants a thug drug dealer who used to sell to their best friend of 15 years (not making this up), you know she's clearly picking the wrong guys.
@Rangers Yeah you just proved what i was saying. This is reason why we need to be more pickier so we can stop being blamed for choosing the wrong men. If have good examples of what a man should be and does then we won't have these issues any longer but the second women try to do this, we get bashed for it.
I guess this is one way to cope with losing the game. Enjoy your plastic.
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I doubt it lol they get less option as they grow older.
@Yesplease23 Actually the opposite. I get more attention now than I did when I was 20.
@Wowgirl30q @datgirl actually (couldnt take truth so blocked me lol) So you were thinking whole time I needed something and from you! Lmao!! Grow up princess. And I bet you padded bra so hard to get some cleavage for me, apparently. Flaty you don't look like 5yrs elder to me
@alex_x988 what? Which part of that was addressed to me?
nothing. all reply was for datgirl who ran away. (you seem nice :) )
@alex_x988 cool :-)
@alex_x988 bitter for a virgin night my love
@Wowgirl30q I bet you are not even sure about what you said
The worse thing you got going for you is that you are a GaG user.
@Ironic_Pepe she is right
You are generalizing tho..
@Ironic_Pepe you do realize that I am married and have all those things I listed right... I'm not seeking anyone, I'm offering advice as to why someone feels as if they are constantly be turned down by women they feel shouldn't, is wrong. Besides that no one is entitled to anyone affections not matter how well they think of themselves and people are allowed to pick what is important to them as a partner. If you're not meeting the requirements of the type of partners you're looking for, why? It's not them, it's you.
@Paul09 Of course I'm being general, I'm talking to a bunch of strangers who's lives, personalities, jobs, finances, and physical characteristics I don't know. My point is, if you have a type, and that type isn't giving you the time of day, the problem isn't them. If you want a 10 but you're a 2, you gotta do something to bridge the gap.
You've got it going on shawty
How does that mean we're the problem if we get turned down? What if I told you it's because they weren't compatible?
@Rangers If you're asking out the same type of women over and over and they always reject you, there is a reason they are all saying no to you. Examples-If you're asking out professional women who have their lives together but you're living at home with mom, then its because they don't see you as on their level. If you are asking out a bunch of women who are physical fit and very attractive but they say no, they don't see you as attractive.Compatibility is fluid, it's ever changing. If you get a good job, move out of moms house the first type of women would be more inclined to say yes.If you start working out, dressing better, grooming etc the second woman might say yes. you weren't compatible before but you are after you better yourself
End of the day men have options after all we are men. Doors are of world is all over. I can't say same for women. If they step out side of western hemispheres they are in trouble.
@DaMack999 what do you mean?
Financial isn't the only reason men and women marry but also love for children and to have nuclear family as well as marriage is good for your health.
Seen this too aha
This is so true. I know some seriously hideous and fat nasty girls who have tons of guys orbiting them hoping for a piece. It’s pretty sad.
Yep ove the last year i got a lot fitter and toned and i have notice a huge difrence in the behaviour of women even just towards me.
Careful not to romanticize the past! People have always been shitty to each other
@DonCachondo Ikr. Everywhere American soldiers go to war they leave behind biracial or binational babies & cause the population of said country to jump. This didn't start in 2019. Men are kinda dicks.
actually no everything points to the fact that you women are the issue its all over the internet lol
I agree I was no picky once in the late 90's & it almost cost me my life
@incelsr oh, I just noticed your name. No wonder...
@baseballfreak70 exactly, we all need to be. Even when we are picky things can happen, so when we're not...
hahaha she thinks im an incel do you have any idea what my name actually says?
@incelsr either way, even if you aren't after checking your profile I can see you still behave like them. Just an angry bitter little man. Anyway, the majority of men manage to find a relationship, so those that don't they should look at themselves instead of blaming women for not settling for less.
I don't blame women for that cause I have no issue finding one like I said before women are the issue it's all over the internet and lol you don't know what my name means
@incelsr its also all over the Internet that the Queen is a lizard and the earth is flat. So what? You actually sound like a 12 year old "the Internet told me so it must be true" it's dumb. And I don't really care what your name means. It's a username on a little forum. It's not important really is it.
We are looking forward to seeing more self affirmation posts from you ten years from now. You will probably still be single and lonely but somehow someway it will always be the man’s fault.
Uh huh, never said I was lonely. I never said it was any man's fault. I'm selective and I can be because I don't feel incomplete without a man. Don't take it out on me because you don't meet women's standards
If a guy can't get laid he's also not gonna get a girlfriend. Women have the luxury of having guys around them and taking their time, but guys either you make a move or you're gonna get friendzoned or never see that person again if you're at a party or a festival or whatever. The times where you get to know someone a girl as a friend and then she actually becomes your girlfriend are so rare they're non existent.
But are you celibate or do you have as much sex as you need but do not get into relationships?
Wow, a reasonable woman. Surprised.
The choosier I became, the more quickly I found a good man. It sounds counterproductive but it’s not because being selective will filter out the riffraff and paves a clearer path for better quality men. Good quality men like picky women.
@Kaazsz I have been celibate for almost 3 years because I got tired of fuckboys. I decided to hold out for something worth having. I still date but haven't met anyone that I'm interested in being committed to. I've been very satisfied without that stress in my life
Haha you are looking typical nice guy and they are unattractive
Good question. I work my ass off and contribute financially to the household. I support his ambitions, goals, help him out in those areas and encourage him to succeed. I’ve bailed him out of tough situations. I’ve nursed him back to health for about 6 months after he was almost killed in an accident. Did everything but bathe him since he was confined to a bed and wheelchair. I’m the one who cheers him up when he’s down. I’m his partner through thick and thin, through pain, illness, fun and adventure. I’m loyal af. I’m both his best friend and a wicked lover.
I actually provided financially, and all my time to a man who couldn’t run two sticks together. I drove him everywhere, paid for everything we did and all of our food, etc. he didn’t give a flying rat’s ass about doing anything for me apart from wanting to bang me every 5 minutes. I understand where the frustration is coming from. Now I only go Dutch on dates since it’s not fair to put all that pressure on one person.
Neither of you are the norm. Most women won't lift a finger for their men. The expectations from men are way beyond the 1940's level, but women's expectations of themselves is at rock bottom. I'm glad to see at least a couple women putting in the effort, but @R_cakes91 now you see how foolish it is to give everything for someone who's worthless. That's how most men feel in the dating world right now. We're expected to do everything and we're also expected to expect nothing in return.
It’s easy to dismiss our experience as not the norm, but do not know most women and how they operate in their relationships with men. The only way I am able to give in mine is because I realized I had to put myself first for a while.
@MzAsh I wasn't dismissing anything. It was meant as a compliment. I've seen so many women walk out on good men when the going got tough. I've seen so many women refuse to date men because they were expected to pull their own weight. I've broken off so many relationships because the chick was basically a paperweight who expected me to entertain her boring ass like some kind of dancing monkey. I have better things to do in life than cater to someone who has no purpose or ambition, which most women are. So no, I don't know most of the 3.5 billion women in the world. I do know that I've only met a handful of good ones, and you just get really tired of sifting through garbage looking for something worthwhile.
I see. The question there is, why do you keep going for the same type of worthless woman?
I don’t know many women who act the way you are describing. Of course, I work with many researchers and scientists (highly educated women) whom most are married to their work. I honestly think there is some truth to women wanting money but I also think it correlates with the level of education. That is not the only factor but it’s a huge one. Also, there really is no excuse these days for a woman (or man) to leech off of someone like that. And yes, I dumped that guy after I realized his promises were just words.
I’ve also noticed that the women who get the nice boyfriends are women who have little ambition and little direction in life. Like, I work my ass off to make sure I have a roof over my head. I’m also bilingual, a park ranger, surfer, I am the social party thrower in my neighborhood but I’m the one who can’t find a man who is clean, self-supported, and not crazy.
@MzAsh I don't. I just look after myself and my kids. I have a girlfriend, but I'm starting to feel taken for granted again, so I don't know how much longer I'm gonna let her stick around. Apparently it's too much to ask for a woman to match effort. The more you give, the less you get. I'm pretty much out of giving.
@R_Cakes91 I noticed that, too. I have no idea why.
That also just circles back to the fact that you need to make sure you do what’s best for you. Don’t let people take advantage of you. This is true for both genders.
Opinion owner, you need to take more ownership of your own poor choices with women. This is a reflection of you more so than it is if women.
@MzAsh lol, of course it is. That's another thing I've noticed. Any problem is the man's fault. Be good to your wife, do everything a husband's supposed to do, she changes from a good woman into a cheating deadbeat, and it's all his fault. He "chose the wrong woman" even though she was perfectly amazing before the vows were spoken. Truth is, there's probably no such thing as the right woman. Being a "good man" is for fools.
I’m sure these women aren’t perfect but you’re blaming it all on them and you even attempted to project your own personal experiences on to women you have never and will never meet. Part of your problem is your attitude. You’ll need to fix that first. The good news is a lot of your situation is within your control. But it won’t improve until you are willing to assume at least partial responsibility. There’s a book called The Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner. It’s a lot but it really helped me to understand my part in my past troubled relationships with men. I was more at fault for things than I realized. It helped me a lot.
Yeah, I agree. If you let people walk all over you they will in a heartbeat. This goes off both genders.
@R_Cakes91 after this one, I'm just gonna do what the hell I want for the rest of my life. If there isn't anything in it for me, I don't care any more. If being manipulative, demanding, and selfish is what it takes to maintain a relationship, I'd rather be alone.
I think you’d do well by being alone for a while too.
@MzAsh I don't mean for a while. I mean to hell with it. I can do everything I need for myself with no extra crap to deal with or clean up. I miss being single. I was happy. I got a lot more stuff done and had a lot more fun.
Then do it. You should do what you want and your family deserves a man that is all in. Let someone else who is willing to fulfill that role.
@MzAsh my kids are from my previous marriage. Thanks for the judgment, though. I know it's kinda hard to see from way up there.
Hey don’t be mad at me because I’ve only had one successful long lasting marriage and you aren’t willing to learn a god damn thing from anyone.
@MzAsh what. I learned it. The only point you've made is that it's my fault. I agree. I'm not giving anymore unless there's something in it for me. Is there something else you were trying to teach?
Now you’re back peddling.
@MzAsh from what? You suggesting that I'd abandon my children and let someone else step in because I'm not fully committed to them? Or the fact that you're touting a "long running successful marriage" at 34? Or maybe from the automatic supposition that if a good man can't find a good woman, that means he's not a good man instead of meaning there are very few good women out there? You only given vaguery and blame. Is there some suggestion you have in what to look for in a good woman that would help in sifting through the trash?
Yes. BE the man that attracts good quality women. Such a man man would never... ever... say shit like “we’ll I’ve had two lousy marriages I guess there just are t many good women left” Come on. Grow up.
@MzAsh one marriage. I learned my lesson the first time.
Doesn’t sound like it.
Well, I completely understand what you mean. If someone is owning up to their mistakes, keep them in your life. There are too many people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions when hurting people.
@R_Cakes91 Owning up to it is one thing: thats a huge step up from my ex. She'd use any stretch of logic to blame her mistakes on me. But fixing it is what's needed. If I screw up, I admit it, apologize, and make sure it never happens again. Apparently, thats pretty rare. I haven't had any woman who was able to do the same. When you make the same mistake over and over, apologies lose their meaning.
No no I meant that it’s good that YOU are owning up. You sound like a good guy to me whose made mistakes like everyone around the world has. Sometimes people just get it wrong a couple times. And trust me, I’ve known a woman or two who really had their husband fooled. Just continue to improve yourself as a person and take care of the kiddos. The right woman will catch up if it’s meant to be.
I’ve had to learn how to judge a man by his actions not his words. When I was younger, I got lied to over and over by a couple men. Never again!!
@R_Cakes91 well, at this point the only change left to make is to stop being a giving person. I've dated all types of women, but yes, the common denominator seems to be me. I'm not demanding enough. I don't manipulate. I take other people's feelings into account when I make decisions. I need to stop that and just focus on getting everything I can get. Guys who only take seem to be in the highest demand.
I don’t think you have to stop being a giving person. I think the disconnect is the ability to distinguish between people who will back and those who will take everything you have.
@R_Cakes91 okay, so how do I do that?
Thank you for saying this 👏
Not sure why you got so many downvotes. That's about what I was going to say. Back in the 50s, a boy might meet a girl around town, take her to the movies, etc, etc, but there weren't as many places to meet prospective mates. Nowadays, there's a ridiculous amount of options, places to go hang out, and being connected via the internet adds a pretty much "all you can eat" menu.
if you're ugly and unattractive like me you can't be selective.
digital dating hasn't made it easier for most guys. It's hard for guys to get a girl to go on a date on dating apps. Many flake out or just like the attention I guess.
@brennanhuff I never said that?The question is asking whether women are getting more picky, so I answered appropriately.
@kaylaS91 'gave men to just fuck 20+ girls instead of just a handful'Thats not how online dating works for guys.
@Edanurus Interesting, I had a girl say something similar to me. She thought men had the same experiences on dating sites as her. Literally talking to 20 women at once. I went on her bumble, and literally every single right swipe was a match. She had no written profile.Consider the same experience for a male. 100 right swipes. Tumbleweeds...
"gave men to just fuck 20+ girls instead of just a handful"Digital dating provides men to look at more women, but actually fucking. It's hard for a guy to get a date with online dating, let alone fucking a girl. Digital dating hasn't made things any easier for men, but actually digital dating I say is harder than irl. I think women are even more selective with online dating or treat it as an ego stroke many times with no desire to meet a guy.
Depends on the guys approach, which is no different than dating irl. You won’t believe how many guys I didn’t bother joining for food or even just drinks because they insisted that I come over to their place to watch Netflix first. 🙄
Those guys are idiots. I keep hearing we live in a hook up culture, which it's shown or talked about more because of social media. And hook ups happen at clubs, parties, bars and such. But most girls even if they are open to hook ups, aren't coming over to a guy's place whom they just gave their number too whether from a dating app or a cold approach. And don't even know the guy. Most girls I feel need to at least see the guy in person and talk to him in person out somewhere that is not his house. So I believe dudes get way too thirsty not thinking or not putting their thoughts in a girl's position. Like I feel trust is obviously very important for a girl, which guy's don't think from their perspective because we're bigger and I guess more a safety we feel or take for granted. I mean that's kind of risky for a girl to just go to a guy's place who she's just talked to via messaging from tinder or text or whom she talked to 10 minutes at a store from a guy who cold approached her. She saw the dude or only had a brief face to face convo so doesn't really even know him and the rest is text. Like hook ups from a party of such, the girl and guy are talking for a few hours at least in person, so more getting to know each other in person than like the stuff I already explained.
Lol exactly! I even told the guys that I’d feel more comfortable meeting somewhere in public first, breaking the ice and whatnot and then hanging out after. Each time the guy would say some variant of how they live too far from whether I suggested (~10 min drive), were leaving town the next weekend so could only make time for Netflix, etc.. 🤦🏻♀️
I'm not saying you feel nervous about being sexually assaulted, but I think guy's because of perhaps a privilege that comes with being a guy in this sense. We're bigger and stronger than women generally, so there's extra comfort that guy's don't even think about. And not to say that women don't rape, but it's very rare. I feel most guys are decent and not rapists. But fact is still the large majority of rapes are committed by men and women have come across enough creepy men to where you just can't assume you'll be safe unless you know a guy more. You're safety is on the line that isn't the case for us men so guy's don't even like think from a girl's perspective because we don't have to think about that. I think guy's would be better if they tried putting their themselves in a girl's shoes. Like some don't understand why approaching a girl on the street which girl's often get catcalled on the street. Why that can be uncomfortable for women or for some feel possible threatening and the reasons are very valid. It may not seem like going from your guy perspective, but if you think like how would I feel if I was a girl and bigger human beings were aggressively approaching me? The feeling would be different. And even a a man, I'd be hesitant coming to some chicks place who I just messaged from tinder and never met in person just for the fact of I could be catfished, so it might not be safe for me either ha, Because I'd want to see this is a woman I'm talking to thus meeting in person out in public during the day vs at their home and if it is a dude it would be obviously unwanted since I'm straight but also possibly dangerous for me even though as a guy. I could be robbed or something if I'm catfished and the person I think is a woman is actually a dude, a dangerous guy.
I'm the opposite of hot lol
What do you expect? When women become cunts, men just won’t care.
@selfdestruction Lol 😂
@selfdestruction the only cunt here is you
@Girl2890 Did some guy or guys piss you off that much?
Yeah, it's definitely NOT the men who have become douches. If men treat you badly it's probably because they're reciprocating.
Men are douche bags because women put out like nothing and therefore they don’t have to try anymore.
@selfdestruction i think its more so that when a guy assumes all girls are cunts, they stay away from those guys, causing them to become more douchey
Or plot twist, beacuse most women are more picky especially with physical expectations the guys that look better and dont have to rely on their character as much are the ones girls are picking. Hence why some womeb feel there are more asshole men around now. My ex girlfriend admited to me she used to fall in that trap.
Ugly dudes are jerks too
Yeah anyone can be i didn't say that they couldnt
Why would woman magically become more picky? Oh maybe because a woman's apperence has been judged for centuries? So yeah duh we are going to have a taste of their own medicine. Also, there are more asshole men around, considering that I have been assaulted and harrassed multiple times by different ages and races, it is clear that woman can say "no more of this shit," I used to think like you and that feminists were exaggerating or whatever but when I grew older, everything that woman have been saying has been true. Men did it first, now woman are able to without public shame and humiliation like in the past
@shawno96 sorry if I was coming off aggressive, this wasn't aimed toward you, I guess I just got caught in my past pains and vented about it. I think society as a whole is picky
Bad men have been always assaulting women its less common in the western world percentage wise now then the 1900s looks bad but there is a higher population now. Also they didn't magically become picky all of a sudden. Its has happened gradually. I think for the most part women AREN'T too picky personality wise although there are exeptions. But its being noticed not just by me but many others that in a physical appearance sence the social media age especially has spiked the pickyness of women.
I think it is because men are picky and have used the ideal image of a dream girl that they can't compare to and so they prefer a guy that most likely doesn't exist
Read my response please and tell me what you think?
Exactly!! You’ve hit the nail on the head! I’ve tried the dating app myself and i struggled with it for a couple of reasons. The main one being judging these men on what is usually ONE picture! It is a convenience in this day and age but you could be swiping left on a great match.
This. If your profile age is your real age I'm glad you can see this so early on in life!
To picky is a good thing I like it
Why u personally attacking the OP? He asked a general question
@Prof_Don I wasn't attacking him. Usually these questions stem from personal struggles.
@Kas19 stop you're gonna make the asker cry
Usually being the key word there. Im Speaking in general and there's a lot of people suggesting women are more picky. I see obese women only talk to real fit dudes.😂
Yeah and inflated ego's from all the likes on social media, I've seen it happen with people i know.
This is how life will be going forward