I swear I've noticed women are becoming more picky when deciding weather to even date or talk to a guy. Especially seeing the way some women talk on here. Has anyone else noticed this or is it false? Are women getting more picky with guys?
Women are getting more picky because we're constantly being used for sex and is hardly any marriages that actually sticking around. Let alone any guys actually wanting to wait for marriage to have sex at all. But then blame the women when they choose to have sex outside of marriage and his partners, and now the guy still don't want them. So let's do it looks and more to do about whether or not you're going to be compatible with this person actually going to stay with them. Women not getting too tired of guys hopping in and out of their lies only to have sex and it does nothing lasting. As I'm pretty sure men are getting just as picky because they're tired of seeing women whoring around, don't want kids or don't want to get married, but then they spend your money on women that act like they don't want to be there. People in general are getting pickier. Because the world is getting more disorganized and more evil every single day. People and our children are dying for crying out loud because of other sexual choices. And at the scene the death of my mother on her deathbed because of the sexual charges she done before she even met my father, that she did not even deserve, I think I have every right in my mind to be picky about who what type of person I'm going to commit my life to. And besides. We're only supposed to be with one person for the rest of our lives anyway. The fact that people want to go against the order of God is proof that this world has a lot of problems but then we complain about those same problems. I don't blame people for being picky. I blame people for not actually thinking about what type of relationship they expect to have in the type of person that actually need in their life that they can actually commit to for good. I cannot be responsible for other people's choices. But I can't be responsible for my own.
I was picky once. Got abused. Then left the guy & was stalked for 2 years. He'd probably be still stalking me 20 years later. But the guys been in jail multiple times according to the mug shots online. Last year on google I saw he robbed a bank & tried to pled he was insane & not aware it was wrong to rob a bank. After my experience with that loser. I pay more attention to my instincts
The problem is your unrealistic expectations, and not knowing what type of person is actually right for you. It's not about just you pay attention to your instincts is about how you were taught and what you actually thought what a man actually is. A lot of these guys today are not men. You sadly got caught up with the type of person that was hell-bent on destroying your life and clearly ended up making an example out of you of your naiveness. You're very blessed that you did not end up dead. I am simply talking about when you already have the right mind frame, the right mindset, you brought up with morals, you understand Godly values, you filled with both the knowledge and wisdom to how to properly navigate into this world, and you know better not to be dating strangers in a close friend that you know for a very long time. When you date strangers sadly that's exactly what ends up happening. They don't know you, they owe you nothing. You owe it to yourself to be more safer and aware of who you allow in your life.
God remove bad people from your life let alone not allow them to cross your path if you only he to his warnings and stay underneath his covering. But when you choose to go out of his will and choose to do you're will that's exactly what happens to people. I learned that the hard way when I was 19 years old.
I use to like a guy I knew a little for along time. Then after 20 years of knowing him. He started making racist, homophobic & making sexual comments about women. I dodged a bullet when he told me he doesn't like me that way. I stopped talking to him early this year. So you could think someone is nice for years & they could change
Oh trust me, he had a lot of signs that shown he got issues. The problem is you were too focused on his niceness and not who he could really be behind the mask. b that's why you need somebody who is far more experienced on those levels to be able to help guide you into what kind of person is okay for you to be around who's not. All those things you are telling me all red flags. They often times already had these ideas for many years you just never seen their true colors up into now.
He never acted that way. Until me knowing him for 20 year's. His own family, friends & co workers even asked me if I noticed a change in him. I said yes he's not acting right or he's finally just is showing his true colors
Of course he's never going to act that way because that's all on the surface. The point is you're not the one that's monitoring his life 24/7 every single day for the rest of his life. You're not God. The only one who knows that for sure is God. If you see any kind of problems What description see, you got to question it right away.
Couldn't agree more. When people had structure and followed order with nature things went smooth as soon as we decided to fuck around like animals instead of marrying people and asking for daughter's hand be dating or otherwise respect went out the door for parents. Girls coming home pregnant out of wedlock has become the norm.
mm maybe. I don't know, there really isn't a scale that shows the years if men or women have gotten pickier. I just think men and women are picky anyway when it comes to choosing partner/dating.
But from what I've witnessed on this site, i think women do need to be picky cause over guys blaming us for "poor decisions" and that the woman should have "choosen better" and if she would have done that then she wouldn't be crying about being heart broken or left behind with a bunch of kids but then at the same time we're told "your're too picky, that's why you single".
It's like make up your minds, you either want us to be picky so don't end up choosing the "bad boy" or you don't want us to picky cause we're acting "too stuck up". These are the mix messages i keep seeing from men and It's making me highly confused. Don't get me wrong, I understand there are just some people who are OVERLY picky, but a lot of us are just trying to be careful and not get hurt or accused anymore for choosing the wrong men.
Marriage rate, divorce rate, sex before marriage, frequency of cheating no of sexual partners, age of first sexual encounter. Some metrics that can measure pickyness
I wouldn't say it's necessarily that those girls need to be more picky, I'd say they need to change what they want. When a girl wants a thug drug dealer who used to sell to their best friend of 15 years (not making this up), you know she's clearly picking the wrong guys.
@Rangers Yeah you just proved what i was saying. This is reason why we need to be more pickier so we can stop being blamed for choosing the wrong men. If have good examples of what a man should be and does then we won't have these issues any longer but the second women try to do this, we get bashed for it.
In the internet they are. In person, I personally don’t feel like it. Although I have to admit that most women are becoming entitled or they have a search engine mindset.
The biggest frustration are the sh*t tests. Like recently a girl who was a solid 7/10 did all of the sh*t tests from A to Z to me. First test, playing with her phone on our date to see how I would react. Then she had the NERVE to do the final sh*t test when we were about to get it on. Bra, panties, everything was off then she said softly “I can’t”. So I got up, and started putting my clothes. Before I walked out of the door she pulled me back into bed.
The game never ends, the game just got harder thanks to social media. Everyday a girl wakes up, first thing she sees is a like on her post. That’s the equivalent of snorting a line of cocaine.
Thank god Sexbots and love dolls are BOOMING. All my friends said I was stupid to invest in that mini industry, soon I’m going to enjoy the fruits of my reward. Once artificial wombs will be a thing, it will be game over.
I don't think women have gotten pickier. When you see their responses on here you're hearing what they prefer for their ideal. A lot of women have a set type of guy in mind and when guys hear what that type is, he feels he has to fit in every single category perfectly and thus get the impression that the woman is too damn picky. In reality a woman knows what she prefers, what her ideal man is, but also has areas where she's willing to bend a little here, bend a little there, and won't bend at all in some places. They will end up with someone that differs from their ideal man but when a guy asks the girl about her ideal man it does feel like it's a "you must be exactly this or the answer is no". Women do have more options now than they did in the past so it can seem like they're being pickier but I don't really think they are. They just have a more clear picture of what they like because they've been exposed to more. So, in essence, they're able to gain the experience of figuring out what they like at a much earlier age.
It's possible, especially given the high cost of living in most urban areas these days. Don't forget that at your age women are outnumbered by guys and are at what most consider their peak attractiveness.
Well, 60 years ago women were just suppose to be wives, mothers and maids... Now we are expected to be wives, mothers, maids, coworkers, graduates, philanthropist, physically and mentally fit, cooks... the list goes on. Women have the opportunity to be so much more and seeing as most families can't live off of a single wage anyway, need to be more than a stay at home mom. Why would we want men who are just providers? Go to work, come home, get fed, have sex, sleep, repeat? We want partners who will put as much into life as we do? It's not that we are picky or harder on men, we just don't want to waste our time with someone who isn't not on the same page as us.
I'm married but let's pretend I'm not for this. I have a house, a jeep, a great job, a daughter, I'm clean, A great cook, highly educated, great friends, I volunteer... I do a lot. Other than physical attraction what would I share with someone who just got out of high school, worked at panera, lived with their parents and takes the bus with no plans to change? Not much. SOOOOO my advice. If you feel like women are being "too picky" because they aren't picking you. Rise up. The more you have going for you, the more women will see you as a possible partner.
@Ironic_Pepe you do realize that I am married and have all those things I listed right... I'm not seeking anyone, I'm offering advice as to why someone feels as if they are constantly be turned down by women they feel shouldn't, is wrong. Besides that no one is entitled to anyone affections not matter how well they think of themselves and people are allowed to pick what is important to them as a partner. If you're not meeting the requirements of the type of partners you're looking for, why? It's not them, it's you.
@Paul09 Of course I'm being general, I'm talking to a bunch of strangers who's lives, personalities, jobs, finances, and physical characteristics I don't know. My point is, if you have a type, and that type isn't giving you the time of day, the problem isn't them. If you want a 10 but you're a 2, you gotta do something to bridge the gap.
@Rangers If you're asking out the same type of women over and over and they always reject you, there is a reason they are all saying no to you. Examples- If you're asking out professional women who have their lives together but you're living at home with mom, then its because they don't see you as on their level. If you are asking out a bunch of women who are physical fit and very attractive but they say no, they don't see you as attractive. Compatibility is fluid, it's ever changing. If you get a good job, move out of moms house the first type of women would be more inclined to say yes. If you start working out, dressing better, grooming etc the second woman might say yes. you weren't compatible before but you are after you better yourself
Actually I’d argue that both genders have become more picky but let me explain why. It’s because of something known as the paradox of choice. Basically when people have more choices they are less likely to make a decision and less likely to chose something or someone they deem as “average”. Now let’s take a look at online dating. We swipe on hundreds maybe even thousands of people at once. That cute girl or guy you’d normally flirt with in public? Well you swiped no because she was wearing a team jersey you didn’t like. Online dating is on the rise and this is fine but the problem with this is that it creates an environment of too much choice where gender roles are often taken to the extreme. Ex: girls getting lots of messages, guys having to send out hundreds to get a response. Say what you will it’s no fun to be on either side for anyone regardless of gender. I think we can fix this by getting out in person more and organizing dating events where we don’t just cold approach people but we actually sit down in front of someone and talk to them in person. This way we get to hear them talk about their passions and see the way they smile. We feel a rush as we look into their eyes and flirt with them in person in an environment where it is easy to have a conversation 1 on 1. I think the one thing modern dating lacks most of all is the personal in person emotional connection and conversation which is difficult to create online or even at a party/bar where the music may be too loud.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Yeah I think so, there was a guy I was talking to, at first I didn’t think he was my type... because of his looks, he wasn’t bad looking or anything I just didn’t think I was that into him. I ended up falling in love with him tho, and things were good... I thought he was my soulmate, I loved him so much and suddenly he got so attractive to me? It’s weird, but it’s over a year ago... and I still miss him, like I’m still heartbroken over someone I wasn’t even attracted to at first, until I got to know him and not just his looks, now when I see guys that looks like him in just some similar ways.. I get so sad, and I still find them so attractive. I just want another him, he broke my heart. But so yeah women are getting pickier with guys for sure, but I believe it was worse before though. Like I don't know, 100 years ago I’m guessing guys got judged not just by looks but because of money. Also, I think feminism has something to do with women being so picky>.< you know how some say that you don’t need a man, because you’re So independent and shit, and they’re talking like niggers acting sassy as fuck, pushing men away. XD idk! Oh well that’s my opinion.
End of the day men have options after all we are men. Doors are of world is all over. I can't say same for women. If they step out side of western hemispheres they are in trouble.
Women are becoming more picky with men because men are putting them on a pedestal. A fat unattractive woman with a wart will get the same amount of attention as a genuinely attractive woman these days. Heck, I've even seen men who think they are women getting loads of messages from other guys.
Yes! I personally am because there’s so many douche bags now. Can’t find a decent dude to be with because most of these men are assholes and cheaters!! I hate the male species!! I might as well marry myself and adopt kids with all these cheaters running lose these days!! Some are even married men on dating apps... trying to look for side action while they have like 2+ kids and a loving wife (F these ungrateful pricks)!! Just a little rant because some of us single ladies are genuinely looking for someone to settle down with but end up talking to a douche bag/married dude😷
@DonCachondo Ikr. Everywhere American soldiers go to war they leave behind biracial or binational babies & cause the population of said country to jump. This didn't start in 2019. Men are kinda dicks.
Everybody should be picky. Then maybe people would stop getting with lazy bums, deadbeat dad's, spiteful babymamas, all sorts really. It's a relationship, that's quite an important thing to get right, so it'd be dumb not to be picky and to just settle for whatever.
@incelsr either way, even if you aren't after checking your profile I can see you still behave like them. Just an angry bitter little man. Anyway, the majority of men manage to find a relationship, so those that don't they should look at themselves instead of blaming women for not settling for less.
@incelsr its also all over the Internet that the Queen is a lizard and the earth is flat. So what? You actually sound like a 12 year old "the Internet told me so it must be true" it's dumb. And I don't really care what your name means. It's a username on a little forum. It's not important really is it.
Of course they are, and I don't blame them. The average woman gets bombarded with male attention. Whether it's on a night out, going out with friends to a bar, or even just walking down the street.
Throw online dating into the mix and that male attention gets even more extreme. Hundreds of matches and daily messages, women at this point can afford to have whatever standards they like because of the amount of options they have.
If a guy doesn't meet her standards there's plenty more where he came from. I saw a comment about tinder a while back and it was something like this. "If you're talking to a girl, remember, there are currently 50 other dudes trying to do the same thing".
I'm picker because the men in my area have gotten worse. more pushy & it's always the unattractive older men or guys with sagging pants & that smell like pot bothering me. I don't want to date a guy near my step dad's age gross or a guy that does drugs. If that's been called picky then your probably just offended because your the type of guy I'm talking about. When I don't want to be hit on by a guy that smells like weed. One minute they tell me I'm beautiful. The next minute when I tell them sorry I'm not interested they call me a slut. I have deal breakers & that is one of my deal breakers
With all the choices in the world that were given every day I don't think they have gotten pickier they have just got more modified more directly to the source. Back in the day when there wasn't all these things to choose from for mate besides kindness being a love with them things like that like a so the holder the world gets the more things we have the more things we have to choose from tends to cloud our judgment a little bit but women should be picky they have that right just like a man should be picky and not just take whatever comes along. But doing it is at such a young age you'll learn things in your move on so I mean sure to them being a mass murderer we you learn from that experience from their relationship hopefully and it's not right you make it right by changing it not changing the person Themself just a whole nother person
Well I personally think because now days most women are more independent and self reliant that we don't need a man as much as many decades ago. It's more of an option than a necessity. So if we don't need a man to rely on for financial support than why accept anything but the best. Women used to more often depend on men for the income and to support her and the family. So it seems people used to marry yoinfer and put up with more and try harder to make things work because divorce would be really bad for a woman with no career or income of her own and no way to support herself and children.
Yes, because online dating has given them the impression that even if she’s a 3 she deserves a 10. These women are getting tons of sex from tons of great looking guys BUT when they decide to get off the penis monkey bars and eventually look for a long term they’ll be in for a surprise.
Men are becoming more picky too which is why the club industry is going extinct. Men are spending more time at the gym... and predictably the women have followed them there.
I don't know, but all the guys that show up in my friend suggestions, and all the guys in the town I live in that are my age, are chubby and have beards and look about 5 to 10 years older than they actually are. You know? they just don't take care of how they look. Its kind of disappointing tbh. Its not really picky, just why do they all have to look the same? why do they all look like they've given up on themselves and are in mid life crisis looking mode? dress for success? the general population of men around me aren't cutting it :\
Well, THEY'RE the ones that are going to end up alone and old maids because, at the moment, the ratio is 3 girls for every boy!! When I was growing up in the `60's it was 2 girls for every boy!! In another 30-some years, it'll be 4 girls for every boy and so many more of them will ether be alone or into sharing with other girls! So, girls, if you don't want to spend the rest of your days alone, you damn well better stop being so damn icky about who you want to be with, especially for such incredible superficial reasons like, what he looks like, how well he dresses, how flashy his car is or how much money he's got! WE'RE more in demand than you are so, you better get yours while you still can!!
Say whatever you want, but starting in 2008 there has been an upward trend. Fact.
graph is of people who have not had sex at least one time a year, plotted independently each year. UChicago does this study for the federal government every year.
It seems times were good between 1990 - 2000. Then something happened between 2000 - 2004 that caused the girls to stop having as much sex, then times were good again between 04 - 08.
But then starting in 08' everyone is having less sex, but for the first time ever in history the number of men going without is rising faster than the number of women going without.
Makes for some weird math, in my opinion. Could possibly be explained by Tinder, instagram and social media.
We need to be pickier. Everyone does. There's too much hooking up and not enough of actually getting to know someone. I have things that are absolute deal breakers that I refuse to compromise on. You also can't force chemistry. I'm happy being single and will stay that way before I settle for less than I deserve
We are looking forward to seeing more self affirmation posts from you ten years from now. You will probably still be single and lonely but somehow someway it will always be the man’s fault.
Uh huh, never said I was lonely. I never said it was any man's fault. I'm selective and I can be because I don't feel incomplete without a man. Don't take it out on me because you don't meet women's standards
If a guy can't get laid he's also not gonna get a girlfriend. Women have the luxury of having guys around them and taking their time, but guys either you make a move or you're gonna get friendzoned or never see that person again if you're at a party or a festival or whatever. The times where you get to know someone a girl as a friend and then she actually becomes your girlfriend are so rare they're non existent.
The choosier I became, the more quickly I found a good man. It sounds counterproductive but it’s not because being selective will filter out the riffraff and paves a clearer path for better quality men. Good quality men like picky women.
@Kaazsz I have been celibate for almost 3 years because I got tired of fuckboys. I decided to hold out for something worth having. I still date but haven't met anyone that I'm interested in being committed to. I've been very satisfied without that stress in my life
Here is what I think is happening : a lot more young women (usually in their early 20s) tend to think they are queens and they deserve everything. Unfortunately, that mindset get them nowhere and the only thing they can get is hookups with guys who basically lied to them to empty their balls. After a while, they will hit their 30s, realize they have no stable personal life while everyone around them is happy and starting families. At that point, they either become depressed, bitter and/or start to hate on men because it's too hard for them to admit that they are not queens and do not deserve everything for just having a vagina.
Maybe. There are more self entitled with double standards, more self damaged one's. Still. If they want what thay are after they need to come up to the standard what the one's they are after have otherwise must they crawl to the cross reevaluate their standards and settle with what comes around soner or later to not be alone.
That phenomenon have been around for more than 40 years, most likely the same amount and some people stumble in to almost only that kind of female's, just don't get hucked up on it. doesn't someone want you your better off without that misfitting person, she wasn't that much of quality as you first thought.
Remember that shit is still shit. misfit is still misfit.
I haven't had an issue. Its all about attraction looks, confidence, success, if you have these three things women will flock to you. If you have it all there is almost no girl you can't get. I rank myself up there as attractive and I have success while my confidence is high but not too high. I have no problems getting with a girl. This is not overconfidence this is fact. A story when I was just bar age I had the looks and the confidence but would always lose out to the guy flashing money around. What this did for me was push me to be successful and right now I don't have an issue getting a date.
Social media is bringing out the worst in women. They get bombarded with images they “deserve more” and should “want more”. Feminism is telling them that no man is ever good enough. They will quickly find flaws in guys that show interest. They will keep chasing the “perfect man” who doesn’t exist. Even if he did exist they don’t deserve him given their selfishness.
Now this isn’t true for every girl. I’ve also noticed that women are more sexually liberated. They don’t feel the slut complex as badly as they did a few decades ago. This is good if you want to get laid, horrible if you want to find love. Overall I think it’s a bad thing because now guys feel pressured to make a move fast. If they don’t they risk being friendzoned (happened to me).
Thankfully my girlfriend isn’t like this. But my ex turned into a complete Instagram whore. She already was doing the Snapchat nude thing to me all the time. Fun at the time. But then she start showing her bare ass off on Instagram.
Back in the day when women couldn’t support themselves, they took what they could get so they didn’t end up spinsters living with their parents forever. Nowadays, when can have careers and make as much money as men so they don’t feel that pressure to get married anymore just to survive.
I’m personally very picky because I’d rather be alone than be with someone I can’t stand.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
All these women in the comments talking trash about men only wanting sex...
... what else do bring into a relationship that adds value to a man's life? Women have shunned every single expectation that a man has for who he dates and marries, claiming that it's unfair gender bias, yet expect men to uphold traditional male gender expectations.
So a man is supposed to protect, provide, entertain, cook, clean, do yardwork, etc...
And what do you ladies have to offer in return for everything he does?
I work my ass off and contribute financially to the household.
I support his ambitions, goals, help him out in those areas and encourage him to succeed.
I’ve bailed him out of tough situations.
I’ve nursed him back to health for about 6 months after he was almost killed in an accident. Did everything but bathe him since he was confined to a bed and wheelchair.
I’m the one who cheers him up when he’s down.
I’m his partner through thick and thin, through pain, illness, fun and adventure.
I actually provided financially, and all my time to a man who couldn’t run two sticks together. I drove him everywhere, paid for everything we did and all of our food, etc. he didn’t give a flying rat’s ass about doing anything for me apart from wanting to bang me every 5 minutes.
I understand where the frustration is coming from. Now I only go Dutch on dates since it’s not fair to put all that pressure on one person.
Neither of you are the norm. Most women won't lift a finger for their men. The expectations from men are way beyond the 1940's level, but women's expectations of themselves is at rock bottom.
I'm glad to see at least a couple women putting in the effort, but @R_cakes91 now you see how foolish it is to give everything for someone who's worthless. That's how most men feel in the dating world right now. We're expected to do everything and we're also expected to expect nothing in return.
It’s easy to dismiss our experience as not the norm, but do not know most women and how they operate in their relationships with men. The only way I am able to give in mine is because I realized I had to put myself first for a while.
@MzAsh I wasn't dismissing anything. It was meant as a compliment.
I've seen so many women walk out on good men when the going got tough. I've seen so many women refuse to date men because they were expected to pull their own weight. I've broken off so many relationships because the chick was basically a paperweight who expected me to entertain her boring ass like some kind of dancing monkey. I have better things to do in life than cater to someone who has no purpose or ambition, which most women are.
So no, I don't know most of the 3.5 billion women in the world. I do know that I've only met a handful of good ones, and you just get really tired of sifting through garbage looking for something worthwhile.
I don’t know many women who act the way you are describing. Of course, I work with many researchers and scientists (highly educated women) whom most are married to their work. I honestly think there is some truth to women wanting money but I also think it correlates with the level of education. That is not the only factor but it’s a huge one.
Also, there really is no excuse these days for a woman (or man) to leech off of someone like that.
And yes, I dumped that guy after I realized his promises were just words.
I’ve also noticed that the women who get the nice boyfriends are women who have little ambition and little direction in life. Like, I work my ass off to make sure I have a roof over my head. I’m also bilingual, a park ranger, surfer, I am the social party thrower in my neighborhood but I’m the one who can’t find a man who is clean, self-supported, and not crazy.
@MzAsh I don't. I just look after myself and my kids. I have a girlfriend, but I'm starting to feel taken for granted again, so I don't know how much longer I'm gonna let her stick around. Apparently it's too much to ask for a woman to match effort. The more you give, the less you get. I'm pretty much out of giving.
That also just circles back to the fact that you need to make sure you do what’s best for you. Don’t let people take advantage of you. This is true for both genders.
@MzAsh lol, of course it is. That's another thing I've noticed. Any problem is the man's fault. Be good to your wife, do everything a husband's supposed to do, she changes from a good woman into a cheating deadbeat, and it's all his fault. He "chose the wrong woman" even though she was perfectly amazing before the vows were spoken.
Truth is, there's probably no such thing as the right woman. Being a "good man" is for fools.
I’m sure these women aren’t perfect but you’re blaming it all on them and you even attempted to project your own personal experiences on to women you have never and will never meet. Part of your problem is your attitude. You’ll need to fix that first. The good news is a lot of your situation is within your control. But it won’t improve until you are willing to assume at least partial responsibility.
There’s a book called The Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner. It’s a lot but it really helped me to understand my part in my past troubled relationships with men. I was more at fault for things than I realized. It helped me a lot.
@R_Cakes91 after this one, I'm just gonna do what the hell I want for the rest of my life. If there isn't anything in it for me, I don't care any more. If being manipulative, demanding, and selfish is what it takes to maintain a relationship, I'd rather be alone.
@MzAsh I don't mean for a while. I mean to hell with it. I can do everything I need for myself with no extra crap to deal with or clean up. I miss being single. I was happy. I got a lot more stuff done and had a lot more fun.
@MzAsh what. I learned it. The only point you've made is that it's my fault. I agree. I'm not giving anymore unless there's something in it for me. Is there something else you were trying to teach?
@MzAsh from what? You suggesting that I'd abandon my children and let someone else step in because I'm not fully committed to them? Or the fact that you're touting a "long running successful marriage" at 34? Or maybe from the automatic supposition that if a good man can't find a good woman, that means he's not a good man instead of meaning there are very few good women out there?
You only given vaguery and blame. Is there some suggestion you have in what to look for in a good woman that would help in sifting through the trash?
Yes. BE the man that attracts good quality women. Such a man man would never... ever... say shit like “we’ll I’ve had two lousy marriages I guess there just are t many good women left”
Well, I completely understand what you mean. If someone is owning up to their mistakes, keep them in your life. There are too many people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions when hurting people.
@R_Cakes91 Owning up to it is one thing: thats a huge step up from my ex. She'd use any stretch of logic to blame her mistakes on me.
But fixing it is what's needed. If I screw up, I admit it, apologize, and make sure it never happens again. Apparently, thats pretty rare. I haven't had any woman who was able to do the same. When you make the same mistake over and over, apologies lose their meaning.
No no I meant that it’s good that YOU are owning up. You sound like a good guy to me whose made mistakes like everyone around the world has. Sometimes people just get it wrong a couple times. And trust me, I’ve known a woman or two who really had their husband fooled.
Just continue to improve yourself as a person and take care of the kiddos. The right woman will catch up if it’s meant to be.
@R_Cakes91 well, at this point the only change left to make is to stop being a giving person. I've dated all types of women, but yes, the common denominator seems to be me. I'm not demanding enough. I don't manipulate. I take other people's feelings into account when I make decisions.
I need to stop that and just focus on getting everything I can get. Guys who only take seem to be in the highest demand.
I don’t think you have to stop being a giving person. I think the disconnect is the ability to distinguish between people who will back and those who will take everything you have.
I personally think it’s important for women to be picky. They want a man that is going to stick around and be faithful and loving and kind and be compassionate and communicate. We women are tired of being hurt by men and I’m sorry I know it goes both ways which is why I think men need to be picky too... don’t just hook up with a girl because she will have sex with you. There’s way more to a relationship then that. Way more and finding someone that is compatible with you is what is truly important.
There’s a girl that really likes me but the only thing that I like is her body but she’s not that smart, funny, or have a good personality so I try my best not to pay attention to her even when she throws herself at me, I 100% agree with the people that say we need to get more picky and people need to learn to have standards, dating around hurts both girls and guys views of the opposite sex, the guys that don’t value girls sleep around which in turn makes girls think that guys don’t want a romantic relationship so they expect guys to just want to sleep around which affects the guys views on girls and it just goes around in a circle over and over
What’s wrong with having standards people? Having standards doesn’t make you a “stuck up bitch” or an “insensitive asshole” it makes you a good person because it makes the people who want you to try and achieve your standards
sure. While woemen largely chose from the guys around them in school or community, now there are far more places to interact with guys, its only fitting that girls, and guys can be more selective. It's like having one mall or department store in your community before online shopping became available.
Not sure why you got so many downvotes. That's about what I was going to say. Back in the 50s, a boy might meet a girl around town, take her to the movies, etc, etc, but there weren't as many places to meet prospective mates. Nowadays, there's a ridiculous amount of options, places to go hang out, and being connected via the internet adds a pretty much "all you can eat" menu.
I think it's justified. I look around and a lot guys aren't growing up and becoming men. They seem to be stuck in an adolescent state of mind and extremely feminine in their behavior. Women don't want a pussy they already got one, they want men and i see our society as lacking in that regard. Fellas you aren't entitled to a woman when you look at history the vast majority of males simply did not pass on their genes. So stop being weak, complaining on how girls don't want to be with you and start bettering yourself mentally, morally, and physically. Hell, don't even do it for women just do it for yourself and things will start looking up.
Everyone’s getting more picky about who they date in comparison to the mid to late 1900’s. Where there was not only a lot less pressure to get married/have kids as soon as you finished university, if not during, but also before the age of digital dating.
Which gave women the ability to choose between 20+ guys instead of just a handful, as well as gave men to just fuck 20+ girls instead of just a handful.
digital dating hasn't made it easier for most guys. It's hard for guys to get a girl to go on a date on dating apps. Many flake out or just like the attention I guess.
@Edanurus Interesting, I had a girl say something similar to me. She thought men had the same experiences on dating sites as her. Literally talking to 20 women at once. I went on her bumble, and literally every single right swipe was a match. She had no written profile.
Consider the same experience for a male. 100 right swipes. Tumbleweeds...
"gave men to just fuck 20+ girls instead of just a handful"
Digital dating provides men to look at more women, but actually fucking. It's hard for a guy to get a date with online dating, let alone fucking a girl. Digital dating hasn't made things any easier for men, but actually digital dating I say is harder than irl. I think women are even more selective with online dating or treat it as an ego stroke many times with no desire to meet a guy.
Depends on the guys approach, which is no different than dating irl. You won’t believe how many guys I didn’t bother joining for food or even just drinks because they insisted that I come over to their place to watch Netflix first. 🙄
Those guys are idiots. I keep hearing we live in a hook up culture, which it's shown or talked about more because of social media. And hook ups happen at clubs, parties, bars and such. But most girls even if they are open to hook ups, aren't coming over to a guy's place whom they just gave their number too whether from a dating app or a cold approach. And don't even know the guy. Most girls I feel need to at least see the guy in person and talk to him in person out somewhere that is not his house. So I believe dudes get way too thirsty not thinking or not putting their thoughts in a girl's position. Like I feel trust is obviously very important for a girl, which guy's don't think from their perspective because we're bigger and I guess more a safety we feel or take for granted. I mean that's kind of risky for a girl to just go to a guy's place who she's just talked to via messaging from tinder or text or whom she talked to 10 minutes at a store from a guy who cold approached her. She saw the dude or only had a brief face to face convo so doesn't really even know him and the rest is text. Like hook ups from a party of such, the girl and guy are talking for a few hours at least in person, so more getting to know each other in person than like the stuff I already explained.
Lol exactly! I even told the guys that I’d feel more comfortable meeting somewhere in public first, breaking the ice and whatnot and then hanging out after. Each time the guy would say some variant of how they live too far from whether I suggested (~10 min drive), were leaving town the next weekend so could only make time for Netflix, etc.. 🤦🏻♀️
I'm not saying you feel nervous about being sexually assaulted, but I think guy's because of perhaps a privilege that comes with being a guy in this sense. We're bigger and stronger than women generally, so there's extra comfort that guy's don't even think about. And not to say that women don't rape, but it's very rare. I feel most guys are decent and not rapists. But fact is still the large majority of rapes are committed by men and women have come across enough creepy men to where you just can't assume you'll be safe unless you know a guy more. You're safety is on the line that isn't the case for us men so guy's don't even like think from a girl's perspective because we don't have to think about that. I think guy's would be better if they tried putting their themselves in a girl's shoes. Like some don't understand why approaching a girl on the street which girl's often get catcalled on the street. Why that can be uncomfortable for women or for some feel possible threatening and the reasons are very valid. It may not seem like going from your guy perspective, but if you think like how would I feel if I was a girl and bigger human beings were aggressively approaching me? The feeling would be different. And even a a man, I'd be hesitant coming to some chicks place who I just messaged from tinder and never met in person just for the fact of I could be catfished, so it might not be safe for me either ha, Because I'd want to see this is a woman I'm talking to thus meeting in person out in public during the day vs at their home and if it is a dude it would be obviously unwanted since I'm straight but also possibly dangerous for me even though as a guy. I could be robbed or something if I'm catfished and the person I think is a woman is actually a dude, a dangerous guy.
I blame social media for how everyone is picky to be honest , social media has destroyed relstionships , and people think grass is greener on the other side by always comparing , ir wanting what others have. To find someone that loves with the Heart is very slim chance considering people today are more selfish
Surprisingly im getting less picky. This year, i gave a good few a chance who werent what i usually go for. They were their own kinda hot. The majority in a geeky sense but yea i liked that
I don’t think so. What has happened is that there are so many options now... you can initiate relationships any time of the day 24/7 with just your phone. People used to be stuck with actually meeting one another in person. Meaning you’d have to actually leave your house and socialize as like saying hi to someone at the grocery store. There’s too many choices nowadays and with the divorce rate at 50% people are afraid of making the wrong choice
Exactly!! You’ve hit the nail on the head! I’ve tried the dating app myself and i struggled with it for a couple of reasons. The main one being judging these men on what is usually ONE picture! It is a convenience in this day and age but you could be swiping left on a great match.
Yeah and that fact that men are too desperate I blame desperate men more then picky women of men stopped giving women free validation I bet women would be less picky but lower men leave the house thinking “Hmm what ways can I validate random women today?”
It's a natural consequence after emancipation takes effect. Women will become more independent and self-sufficient. Unlike two centuries ago where men have to provide for women, today's women are now given the same chance to provide for others and most of them doesn't want to marry guys with lower status than they are.
Yes. Data shows that. Women surveyed stated that "80% of men where below average in looks". That's quite telling. Some data has linked it to hormonal birth control which has altered their brainchemistry enough that they have a very skewed view of what is desirable and what is not. However I think another factor is this society that tells women that they shouldn't "settle" and constantly validates them to the point where they have far to high of an opinion of themselves.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
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Yes, it's call the illusion of choice. Because of things like tinder, women are seeing just how easy it is to get male attention, when they go on the app and have dozens and dozens of options they can pick from and don't have to worry about the ones they choose to ignore. So women have become less and less willing to settle for the slightest fault in a partner that they normally would have overlooked. This is called the illusion of choice because it gives women a FALSE idea that they can have "perfection" and they become pickier and pickier, eventually they will get to a point where they can't simply get the attention simply because "they are pretty" and they will start to become desperate dating app sludge.
But this along with many other variables are the reason males are starting to simply bail on women. They have become disposable fuck holes and nothing more.
i like when women say that they are picky because they don't want to be used, when they are the same ones that are sugar babies, sleeping with married men or taken men or have open relationships.
if you don't have anything to offer a woman in today's world then you won't get far with them.
Yes and they should be. Men these days, in my opinion, are hornier. Girls need to find the right man who respects them and wants to be with them forever. Not just some sex buddy. It’s harder these dahs to find a respectful *MAN*.
I'm confused. Is this picky as far a character/ personality? Or picky as far as looks?
Also does being a virgin hurt me or is that a plus? I'm not religious but I'm VERY picky with who I'm going to lose my virginity to. I don't even care if I make the sequel to the 40 yr old virgin lulz 😂
Everyday time I go to a theme park, fair, or any public gathering... I see ugly dudes with pretty attractive girls. Women can get picky with who they choose to hookup with, but women are also emotionally stimulated. If you can emotionally stimulate a woman, then you’ll become attractive to her. Women on the other hand hold a lot more of their own dating value in their beauty. So women have it harder in my opinion.
No, they continue to pick the same ones they always have and then don't understand why they keep getting the same results. More of the good men are becoming picky that is for sure. And they realize that the majority of women don't even come close to bringing as much to a relationship as a good man does.
I think it's less that they are getting picky, and more that they are getting more insistent about thing. They are more willing to walk away if something doesn't work for them. Interestingly, many women still seem to find themselves in unsatisfying relationships though, so I don't know how much of that is just talk.
Its the guys, not the gals. We've raised a whole crop of girlie-men, weak supplicating beta wannabes, and women just loathe them. Time to develop awesomeness, make a shit-ton of dough, and hit the gym hard. You'll have all the pussy you can handle.
@traveltheworld - And you're a fool. No woman wants a man that cannot support her and and the 84 children she wants to have with him. It's not about being materialistic and cocky, although confidence is key, it's about simply being competent. You're saying you would rather choose a loser. FAIL.
@traveltheworld - Wrong again. My youngest got a masters degree in four years, recruited by a tech giant, started at a buck-fifty. Getting ready to buy a house - almost 24. Of course a smart girl who also got a masters in four has snagged him. He's a catch. They're out there, but they're not a fuck-buddy or a badboy. Oh well. You lose.
Yes depends where you are from but if you come from a small place from the scottish highlands many people haven't got it. No opportunities that's why I moved. Good for him tho I have other goals than that stuff
@traveltheworld - Sounds like you're broadening your horizons. Good for you. While we're a product of our environment and our upbringing, we are only bound to the limits of our own imagination. The question was are women more picky. And I say it's not that, it's the FI that has claimed what they want in men, then reject what they have become. Women are always and have always, been drawn to good looking successful men that are actually going someplace and being someone. That has not changed. But there are a ton of guys that simply don't and cannot measure up. They've literally given up trying to be a real man. Hell, we got a whole segment that thinks a real man is toxic. Oh well, a bunch of losers.
Would you say guys would find it intimidating if the women did more like if she travelled, in better shape, University student and immigrated to another country. I have dated guys who have actually asked me what impresses me on the date. You gave a good answer about guys tho but yes I feel it's odd if I dated someone with no drive or ambition and if they aren't in good shape
@traveltheworld - Ah, so the truth comes out. Guys simply are not intimidated by anything a woman does or is, unless she is physically going to kick his ass. No, the NUMBER ONE priority is HER attraction and desire for HIM. What you do or have done, where you went to school, where you're from, where you work, is way secondary. Your looks and your desire are what pulls them in. And you have to choose a man worth caring for, and be willing to do for him. When all the pieces fit it's a dynamic relationship indeed. When they don't it implodes, it fails.
I had a crazy fuck boy before who wanted me film girls in a locker room and fo other pretty bad things. So I have had a pretty bad experience and scared to get into anything again
@traveltheworld - Living life 'scared' is a giant fail. Don't judge all people for the actions of one. And what you get out of life and relationships is in direct proportion to what you put in. I know that's stating the obvious, but most people have been brainwashed into thinking they are somehow entitled, are deserving of something, anything. They're just not - you get what you get for the effort and work you put in, just like everybody else.
I'm reading your conversation here with a high interest. I see some things here overlapping with what's going on in my life.
What if you're a late bloomer like i am and get your bachelors of science degree in 25 due to the very rough and broke backgrounds of upbringing (needless to say to be at a disadvantage in life)? Any advise to keep the course or accelerate to catch up on time? What are the best ways to manage life as a young man in my case?
@Unit1 - You keep at it until you reach the success you desire. No excuses - don't blame anything or anyone, or your timeline, none of that, just keep at it and NEVER give up.
Do this for YOU, not anyone else. When a man is focused on his life mission, his goals and aspirations, he tunes out all the static. And low and behold you'll meet a bright and cheery woman that will want to hitch her wagon to you, and share your life with you.
But none of this happens in a vacuum - YOU have to make it happen.
The one common thing amongst all successful people is that they never give up. EVER. They keep at it until they reach their goal. Your age is irrelevant.
Say, you keep telling men to work out at the gym and earning mountains of money in order to attract women. I understand the money earning thing but what exactly has working out to do with attracting the ladies? How does that work?
Also what do you tell women when they want to attract high quality men? Do you tell them to work out at the gym and earn mountains of cash or do you tell them something different?
@Unit1 - Something completely different for women... we'll get to that later.
If you want some good content on becoming an awesome man go here: www.theartofmanliness.com There's stuff on how to dress, how to socialize, how to date, how to get ahead in your career, and tons of how to get in shape. That's where the 'hit the gym, hard' comes from - it's part of your 'looks' - the number one thing guys need to get the ladies. You don't have to become a bodybuilder (I did, it was awesome) but being in good shape and having some muscles and some muscle tone just drives women nuts. Their lizard brain clicks in from the cave man days where they chose best suitor to protect them and their offspring from saber-tooth tigers and roaming trimbesmen. This is the same reason so many like tall men as well, or at least taller than themselves. This is biological programming. So of course there are always exceptions, but for the most part women are drawn to good looking strong men. It's just the way it is. And they don't even know why, if you ask them they'll just say that's what they FEEL. It is ALWAYS about the FEELZ. The more you understand that the better you can play to their needs and wants. But you do these things for YOU. You are the one that it will benefit the most.
The art of manliness as well as Rollo's rational male both talk a lot about pumping iron. It boosts testosterone, endorphins, all kinds of feel-good stuff for a guy, puts him on top of the world. Even the old MAP of Athol Kay was about the lazy old husband and his 'man action plan' included hitting the gym to get in shape. If the wife doesn't appreciate it and bails, or he shit-cans her lazy ass, he's in a MUCH better place to land a better replacement. It's a win-win for the guy, all the way around.
For the ladies it's a completely different approach, on how they'll land a high-quality guy... -->cont
A woman needs to be most attractive to land a great guy. And why their peak SMV is early twenties. All the whole world admires and desires the young and beautiful woman. Their youth and beauty are their greatest asset, above all else. Unfortunately most just don't' get this, and squander their twenties riding the cock-carousel hoping to actually snag one of those fukboyz, which just degrades them to the point where they become undesirable. So sure, they have free choice to do whatever the hell the want, fuck any guys or number of guys they want, but not without consequence. If they do this crap for too long they completely lose their innocence and desirability to any decent guy. And generally the entire time they have spurned all manner of great guys that were simply not edgy enough, and now realize their window of opportunity is closing and they better try and snag one. Oops... too late... those great guys have gotten snatched up and married off, and now all that's left are the weirdos, geeks, nerds, and divorcees with kids in tow. Worse yet, as they hit thirty and beyond, their youth is fading and they now have to compete with the younger, prettier, and more desirable women in the dating pool. It's a natural disaster.
So they need to cultivate their lady-like qualities, their attractiveness, and their social skills. They need to date - a LOT - but not have sex with them all. They need the experience in order to be sufficiently experienced as to be able to discern if a guy is a match, if they are worthy. Too many settle on some guy they think they can change and mold and improve, trying to make him into something she might be able to stand to be with. This is a completely failed prospect. It's been said that women go to college, not for an education, but to find a husband. If they play their cards right they find a great guy that's really going to be a huge success, and 'hitch their wagon' to him. It can be a great opportunity and a successful relationship.
@Unit1 - The content of Rollo Tomassi is more like a lifelong commitment. This becomes who you are as a man. And it helps unlock the secrets of why and how women think, and what drives them. You can get a point where you understand them and what they need better than they do. Oh boy, that can really piss them off. Or it's like you're magic, all depending on the situation. Men and women really are drastically different, in almost everything. But the entire FI has been built on the mistaken belief that men and women are the same, completely equal and identical humans inhabiting the planet. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I think the average women thinks she’s a god gift sent from heaven because of online dating The results are so messed up online thats why
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I believe so. The internet has done a lot to ruin women and relationships in general. What is already an ego-driven affair, the internet has completely blown the lid off of the whole idea. When endless attention is given out to women where it feels like their opinions are endless. It’s a big problem for men especially, in the short term, but women will see the effects in the long term.
I don't think so, but if you go to sexy girls you will find it a lot. My advice, learn to difference between sexy and sexual and train yourself to see the sexual girls and pass of sexy ones. You will see how that treatment will decrease a lot. (Bailey 2006)
I think it's fair enough for women to be picky with the types of guys they would date or associate themselves with. Some girls just know what they want and won't settle for less.. the same goes for guys too, and I think it's completely okay.
Can't force something that not there. And honestly, you can see that the world is not simple anymore. I think it not just one gender. It just people. We have created so many choices that it is nearly impossible for people to not be.
Only in the looks department. Women still seem clueless about men of substance and character. They go after either looks or money, but that's it. They may be more picky, but they aren't more successful.
No longer being financially dependent on a male partner has freed women to select on different criteria. Of course, everyone should be able to achieve financial independence, so that’s not the real problem. The real problem is that boys have still been trained to attract women by taking on the increasingly obsolete provider role. Boys need to start being raised to become attractive in different ways, ways which don’t depend on women depending on them.
Women are picky. Recently I was talking to someone and she said that she wanted second relationship, I thought that she just went through breakup and want to go into dating again. After talking to her, she told me that she's in a relationship and is looking for a secondary relationship. And I assure, she wasn't pretty.
Tinder and the like should not be a measure of how "picky" women are these days. But should simply be a marker for how fucked up and clown-worldy the dating scene is at present.
Just my opinion... they say women have greater intuition than men. So when it comes to choosing their partner whether for long term or short.. it will surely be like going for job interview. so from lady's point of view, it's a character judgement i think.
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