Why are women more pickier on dating apps?

[pass_the_celery98]

I have read numerous articles online published by other women who have admitted that women and girls tend to be pickier with online dating and the question is why? I get it, looks so matter, height matters, how he presents himself matters. But here’s the thing ladies, guys online aren’t crossing their fingers with some extremely high expectations of finding a Pamela Anderson Baywatch 90s type girl online or some Kate Upton type.

Guys want to find a pretty, decent looking woman online who’s loyal, has her life together and is nice that’s all. I personally hate online dating and I’m at the point now where I just want to delete them and take chances now and approach a young woman in person.

[HawkPerception]

Officially? They have always been more picky than men. Women have all the power in online dating. They are the receivers in all aspects of life, including sex. Men have to penetrate. For that reason, it's usually the man that initiates and men that are competing for all the women. Therefore, the women have their inboxes flooded and all they have to do is choose which is their favourite of their options, whereas men have to try pitching their value over and over again. Because of that women have an inflated sense of ego and the men that they go for are usually the "high value men".

It's not fair, but that's life. Accept that social media and dating apps has made a bunch of egotistical women and just try your best. There's a lot of guys that are having issues in the dating world.

[pass_the_celery98]

But women aren't serious on dating apps they are trying to look for Mr. Perfect. I don't believe when a girl or woman says, money doesn't matter (it does), looks don't matter (it does), height doesn't matter (it does). I'm all for female empowerment but it's gotten out of hand where women don't take accountability. I knew girls who had shitty personalities and embrace being a bitch but the guy to be calm, its hypocrisy at its finest and until men and guys say no, and walk away, girls and women should deal with rejections, heart breaks and no's in life to wake up. I'm not saying she should just pick some fat loser who's 20 years older then her and plays video games all day. I get it, they have more options, but she also has a window and I'm very cautious with girls now and how much time I use because if it goes beyond a month and there's no communication where she's always like im busy then its best to move on.

[HawkPerception]

I hear you and feel you on every point. This world is really shit at the moment. I honestly wish we'd go back to pioneer times so women did not have this world made for for them and they saw the value of men again.

[SotiCoto]

For the same reason they're also pickier than men everywhere else.

Biology.
A woman can only get pregnant once per nine months. It means the mating process represents a large investment of time, energy and resources for her, so she wants to get the perfect partner for it before she commits to it.
A man, hypothetically, could impregnate hundreds of women in the space of nine months. The mating process does not represent much of an investment at all for him. Biologically speaking it is in his best interests to focus on quantity rather than quality.

Obviously in modern society, there is a rather strict social standard of one man and one woman... but that can't change millions of years of behavioural evolution conditioning females to favour quality in men, and men favouring quantity in women.

[Summerlazing]

My question is are they just talking about being pickier over guys looks or are they including hobbies and lifestyle etc in that pickiness as well? And how many guys are using the apps for serious dating rather than just looking for hook ups?

Speaking as a woman, I’m pickier in general because I don’t have the energy to waste on a stream of dates that ultimately aren’t going anywhere, just to sift out a few good guys. And that’s kind of the point of dating apps isn’t it? But I don’t do dating apps anyway - if I can’t meet someone in real life, I would rather stay single.

[pass_the_celery98]

Because you’re older you are wiser, I wouldn’t call it being pickier. You know what you want. Problem is, girls who are younger use it as an ego boost to and they want the cream of the crop in my opinion, I could be wrong but from what I’ve seen and dealt with it has.

[JoAngel]

Because a lot of women are being scammed by romance scammers these days so it is very hard to trust anyone on dating apps these days because a lot of women are being targeted every day. There are a lot of fake profiles on dating apps. You can’t blame women for being so cautious these days.

[CalmUntilAbused]

That's the simple law of supply and demand. The demand is much higher than the supply, driving prices up.

I wouldn't simply approach a woman in person if I were You, though. That might lead to sexual harassment or attempted rape charges that will ruin Your life. It's best to search for matchmaking parties and other situations where it's clear that women do wish to be approached (and if they want to be approached, just not by You, it's still mostly their problem in these contexts, fortunately).

[boggboss]

Because they get much more choice when it comes to matches online which inturn allows them or makes them be more picky otherwise she can't narrow down the amount of matches she gets

[pass_the_celery98]

I dunno, I’ve seen girls who are average act like they are everything. There are great guys on apps but get overlooked so that’s why in my opinion dating apps are flawed.

[boggboss]

Again bevause of how they work even with a avrage looking girl the amount of matches she will get is 10x that of a equally attractive guy if u date via dating apps thats simply the reality that women have much more choice to pick from which means they will end up being picky

[pass_the_celery98]

Having more matches doesn’t mean much if she’s going to complain about where all the good guys? If a woman is into guys who are 6ft4 muscular dudes I know she’s going to weed out the guys who are under 6ft but by her doing that she’s missing out on potential guys to know.

[boggboss]

It not like good guys have a sign that they are good if a girl gets 10 plus matches a week how should she weed out the good guys from that?

[pass_the_celery98]

She talks to them and narrows it down. I’ve been on tinder as an example, there are girls who wanna have sex and send them dick pics, I got off tinder after a few odd encounters with females on there. I can tell if a girl is serious within a few weeks if she’s straight up about her future, and she wants to meet to show interest and we exchange numbers. If a girl or woman has been talking to a guy for 6 months and she doesn’t even want to mention anything about him to her parents, time to move on, she’s just seeking attention from the dude.

[boggboss]

Do u not see how much time and enegy that takes I said 10 plus matches a week if each one takes weeks to weed through its unpractical

[boggboss]

And thats added with aslo being attracted too

[pass_the_celery98]

lol I work two jobs and I’m doing my masters, do you know how much reading and work I have to do? That shit requires more attention and awareness then getting matches online.

[boggboss]

Lol good for you yet your are saying that women should take up the time equal to a job to find a partner cultivating multiple conversations with men to find the "good man" like burn out isn't a thing

[TonyV]

Why do you need a YOUNG woman when you are thirty? That sounds kind of picky.

Women are picky cause they have a fuckload of options, they get more dms in a week than you'd get in a year. When 100 guys go after 1 girl, 99 are getting rejected.

[Dinklex3]

Because that’s the platform. It’s literally like shopping in a catalog.

[pass_the_celery98]

Do you use dating apps?

[Dinklex3]

I don’t, but a friend showed me and it just seemed very superficial, like shopping through a catalog of men. That was tinder though.

[pass_the_celery98]

I’ve used tinder, complete garbage.

[Dinklex3]

Yeah, I think it’s best to just meet people in person.

[Serkee]

Women being pickier in general aside, there are far more men on dating apps than there are women. So women have a far larger pool of guys to choose from than vice versa.

[genericname85]

cause they can. there's like 10 men or more for every women on there. if you had more options you'd automatically become more picky because you can not be with everyone. you gotta choose somehow. it is what it is.

[pass_the_celery98]

Nah at my age it’s easier to determine — within a wk or two I can tell if I want to continue talking to a girl tbh. If I check out a girls social media and she’s acting crazy/wild in bars and drinking (Nope, next), if she uses certain words or phrases that turn me off I know what type of girl she is because I’ve dealt with girls like that in the past (Nope, next), if she’s floozy/attention seeking/showing her body off online…I really wouldn’t bother with girls like that. As I’ve gotten older I have standards, I don’t put pussy on a pedestal and I’m not some spineless guy who supports feminism and will act like a worthless dog to a woman…some dudes don’t even have standards or morals or self respect for themselves.

[genericname85]

you said "nah" but nothing of what you said after that actually indicated a fundamental antithesis to my former statement.

[pass_the_celery98]

I have standards and I’ve used the dating apps which to me is a waste of time. I’m leaving it at that.

[genericname85]

yes and i said you would have higher standards if you had a bunch more women who wanted you. that was my entire point and my answer to your question.

[pass_the_celery98]

At one point I did but they were all immature so I didn't bother, now that im older, I know their mannerisms. I can tell what type of girl she is just by what music she listens to and how she talks to her friends about other guys. I knew a girl who told me once that she told her girlfriends to openly cheat on their boyfriends.

[genericname85]

so look. you yourself even got pickier too xD so you exactly understand the very mechanism you question was about already.

[Fireguy17]

Yeppers.
They seem to rarely care about superficial things, what car, how much you work out, stuff like that.
To me they seem to be more interested in the person, not the stuff.

[pass_the_celery98]

Yeah but this is 2024 not 1975. We live in a superficial, materialistic, highly capitalist, egotistical, sensitive, cancel culture, situationship, toxic social media era.

[Fireguy17]

Yeppers, but you still have to actually like the person you are with.

[LiamJHayden]

All they have to go on is a small blurb and the pic (s). It is not easily discernable if you are a witty conversationist, caring person, talented musician, etc. in such a setting.

[Chazmatazz269]

Evolutionary biology; historically women had to be choosier. Their lives and the lives of their children depended upon it.

[handsomelad70]

Because there are MANY more men seeking women on dating apps than vice versa, giving lasses the ability to be a lot pickier about us lads than we often can about them.

[exitseven]

Most guys I know would have sex with a snake if they could find someone to hold its head

[JHAYES317]

Because there are way more men than women on dating apps

[pass_the_celery98]

Well when world war 3 hits and many men die during war the ratio will be much higher with less men soooo

[Massageman]

They can afford to be since guys are visual.

[dolemite58]

And water is wet 🤣 why was there a study done to point out the obvious?

[katiesmuff]

Because of the scams and phony's

[DextroShade]

They drastically overestimate their value.

[JBlade]

No matter how much they deny it, it's true. The majority think they're the catch and they deserve the best.