Boyfriend doesn't want to hang out?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of over 1 year doesn't have a job and isn't in college at the moment. aka, no commitments. He sometimes says things like he wants alone time or time to do what he wants and that we don't need to hang out everyday or all the time. I have a job and normally we hang out when I get off. Opinions?

Updates

+1 y

He also says stuff like he's fine with hanging out all the time. I'm not sure why he wouldn't want to hang out when he has all the time in the world right now. I usually work until 3 or so. Sometimes later, like 4-6. It seems to me like he has a lot of free time.

[Baobei]

Oh that sounds terrible... I'm sorry to hear that! Maybe something happened to him that he didn't share with you so he needs time to process? Or he's just a dickhead and if I were you I'd dump him. There's plenty of amazing guys that will genuinely want to see you and be with you all the time. But I suggest sitting him down and sharing what you feel, if he dismisses it and doesn't take you seriously, I think that would be an eye-opener for you. Good luck!

[amanda_smith]

He could just be an introvert that likes his alone time... And I'm saying that from experience lol. I'm an introvert that can only handle so much social interaction before I just need some time to myself to chill and unwind. Doesn't mean I'm purposely ignoring people in my life because I'm bored of them, but rather I just need to do it for my own mental health.

[Asker]

Yeah I totally get that. Except that he's always home chilling unless he's with me, because he doesn't have school or work atm

[natasha3012]

Talk talk talk. The only best thing you can do is talk through it with him. Only he can tell you what he is feeling better than any of us on gag

[Sevenpointfive]

i don't know you or your boyfriend, but if college doesn't make things better then it won't get better. i know what it feels like for someone to think that you should always be available for them. it's not a good feeling.

[Asker]

It seems like if you're in a serious relationship you'd wanna be with that person all the time. I don't know, maybe I'm too clingy? I just enjoy hanging out with him. Besides, I come to his house often and his family is there. It kinda sounds like an excuse to me

[Sevenpointfive]

i'm glad you brought that up. you can recognize the flaws in yourself and that helps. but the right guy for you would want you there every second of every day. he wouldn't see a flaw.

[Asker]

oh sorry i thought i included... one of his reasons is to spend time with his family

[Asker]

yeah thats kind of how i feel...

[Sevenpointfive]

i don't think you're wrong. i think he's wrong for not realizing how great you are

[Asker]

I think im going to back off some and make him less of a priority and focus more on myself. maybe he'll realize he wants to spend time together, maybe we will both enjoy time apart, or maybe he won't care and I'll have some clarity

[Sevenpointfive]

yeah. and keep your options open

[TheFlak38]

Just look at what type of men women pick these days. No purpose, no job, no mission in life, no masculine energy and breaking through barriers. Yeah the perfect boyfriend. Un-fuckin-believable.

[Asker]

He got fired like a month ago, but starts college Monday. He'll be an EMT by January and continue on to become a paramedic or get a degree

[boggboss]

Is he dating hebdontbwant to hang out at all or that he wants to not always hang out

[Asker]

He says he doesn't want to always hang out. But he doesn't do anything. His reasoning is to see his family, play xbox, etc. But he has half the day to do all that. I don't know

[boggboss]

I don't see anything wrong with what he is saying apart from being a bum maybe he feels you are spending too much time together and it's getting too routine

[Asker]

Yeah it's possible I'm being to clingy lol

[boggboss]

Yeah that is possible

[DyaVerone]

I think youust leave him...
If he loves you...
He Will hangout with you...
Maybe he is Boring with your relationship

[theoneyougoto]

So... he just stays home?

[Asker]

Pretty much. He does start college in a few days though

[theoneyougoto]

Well hopefully that will change things... just wait and see what happens after he takes classes

[Asker]

Do you think he's just bored of me? Like I enjoy hanging out with him, not sure why he wouldn't want to. Like yes we may hangout almost everyday, but its not all day. I have work and stuff

[theoneyougoto]

It's not you it's him maybe he needed motivation or a little down because he didn't have anything going on