Would you date someone with Asperger's Syndrome?

[AuroraRoseat]

Apparently this contestant had Asperger's syndrome and others said he was a Troll. Either way, no, I wouldn't. What about you?

[cherryqueen01]

I have it myself and I have male friends with it but both of them are people who needs lots of space and time to themselves. We don't even text much more than a few times a month but when we do it's like no time has passed and we talk for hours on end. They're great people, very caring and supportive, but it's hard to date anyone who needs to be alone that much. Both of my exes are neurotypical (not on the autism spectrum).

I'm not really like that. I like being alone but in a relationship I enjoy spending lots of time with my partner at least in the beginning, as time passes i'll start missing being alone so it would require my partner is okay with giving me space when I need it and not take it as an insult (so not a clingy person). However I get so emotionally invested in someone i'm in love with that my partner never has to worry about me getting bored of them or even caring about any other men and if I was to fall in love I am too honest not to let them know so I wouldn't lead them on or start cheating like others might.

[cherryqueen01]

The last sentence is supposed to say "fall out of love".

[girlygirlsweety]

I found him kind of adorable and endearing because of how honest he seems to be. Yes, I understand that he could have been more restrained with his words but I think the lady was a bit over-reacting. I do not assume he was arrogant. I wanted to go be near him! Came off as a genuine sweetheart.

[AuroraRoseat]

That's so interesting. I like sarcasm but his mannerisms couldn't lead me to tell if he was serious or not (even his apology seemed like he could have been joking... lol).

On the wrong day with me, I could see myself becoming angry. But I think it's cool that you'd be able to handle it.

[SueAnon84]

That Kara was just a bitch! Who was SHE to act so mean and arrogant like that! You need a spanking? She needs to shut her pie hole and go to hell! She needs to have gotten FIRED from that show! I was never really a fan of this show but this confirms to why I think they should have chosen better MORE PROFFESSIONAL more matured judges above 10 years old!

[Jjpayne]

It's tough.. dating anyone with an illness is a sacrifice and to be fair I have my own mental struggles myself but I'd like someone of similar brain functioning to share my life with. It's ok to be friends with those that struggle but to spend your life with a person you really need to be able to sacrifice and be generous to have a marriage or date an SO with struggles of that nature

[Jjpayne]

Thank you for the MHO!!! :)

[Electric_Dreams]

Aspergers is not an illness. The fact that she awarded you most helpful is a reflection of her own ignorance. It's not an illness.

[AuroraRoseat]

It's a developmental disorder. What's interesting is the fact that you're making inane assumptions. I gave him MHO because he of the fact that he was amenable to dating someone with the syndrome which I thought was really sweet. He was being honest so don't presume that you know why I gave someone it.

Disorder or not, you need to stop commenting because you're annoying. That's the reason why I don't date anyone with the syndrome: everyone of them that I have met was annoying, pretentious, and haughty. Not all of them are you, I'm sure, but it's enough to cross it off my list.

[mistixs]

@AuroraRoseat Do you know for sure that "everyone of them that [you] have met was annoying, pretentious, and haughty"? It's possible you've met some people with Asperger's without even realizing they had Asperger's.

[Jjpayne]

Illness was not a proper wording I'm sorry but I've often heard the term mental illness used a lot let me check this...

[Jjpayne]

According to Google "Mental disorder

Also called: mental illness

A wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking, and behavior.

MOST COMMON TYPES"

"Autism

A serious developmental disorder that impairs the ability to communicate"

[AuroraRoseat]

@mistixs Every male Aspie that I have met and disclosed that he is an Aspie.

[CaptainSmartass]

It's not an illness. It's a condition, which the British government has actually weaponised (we've all heard of MI5 and 6, right?)

[CaptainSmartass]

I have it myself, but I wouldn't date a woman with the condition. However, I hope to find a woman who would date me and ideally would understand me and my struggles. I'm beginning to lose hope of that happening, though.

Simples...

[DevylasArsaukas76]

you won't though, you'll be too much of a challenge for anyone I'm afraid,

[Electric_Dreams]

@DevylasArsaukas76 That's a discriminatory sweeping generalisation. Yes many males with AS tend to like to be by themselves quite a lot and can even be so emotionally disconnected that the partner sometimes is under the misconception that the male is abusive. However, there are males with AS who can have a successful relationship. The main factor in such a relationship being a success usually tends to be both partners having AS though, so Smartass, if you want a healthy relationship then you're best off being open minded to females with AS. I think a case could be made for the theory that people with AS and people without AS are just incompatible in relationships.

[mistixs]

@CaptainSmartass Why wouldn't you date a woman with AS?

[CaptainSmartass]

@mistixs Because I wouldn't want my worries and stresses to make her worried and stressed out and cause her to have a meltdown. However, Misti, I'd be happy to let you persuade me otherwise :)

[Electric_Dreams]

Why would you not date someone with Aspergers?

I probably wouldn't.. then again I probably wouldn't date anyone. I'm not asexual, but abstinent. I don't like physical intimacy it freaks me out, although I enjoy watching it. So I prefer porn over relationships. It's much less complicated and I can just get what I want easily. So yeah the though of having sex with someone is disgusting to me, but I like watching it so that's weird but whatever. I've kissed people and I hate it.

I have Aspergers. Most people with an autistic condition do seem to want to date someone, except perhaps those who are lower functioning. I'm very high functioning. People generally don't know I have it unless I tell them, and they'd probably be surprised to know I've never had a relationship or sex or anything. They think I'm just a regular cool dude 'cause I dress groovy and direct ambitious films n' all that shit but no yeah I just enjoy watching porn but have no interest in being with someone in real life.

[Shamalien]

I feel like I need to date a girl with aspergers lol, that ultra logical perspective is easier for me to handle than the pure irrationality of most women, sorry ladies XD the best of you are on g@g but on the degenerate west coast of Canada, it's a wasteland

[Electric_Dreams]

See if you feel like that then you may well be one of the many individuals with undiagnosed autism.

[Shamalien]

Maybe a very mild case

[mistixs]

I have Asperger's. I would love to date a fellow Aspie who has the same special interests as I do. ("Special interests" are a characteristic of Asperger's in which we become obsessed with certain topics.)

[CaptainSmartass]

@mistixs What are your interests?

[GhettoGirl]

No, not knowing it up front, nor would I seek to so alter my life to accommodate a psychotic schizophrenic transgendered vampire. Or a bipolar meth addict that was abused as a child. I dont bring shit, I dont want shit.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

aspies aren't usually psychotic but ok

[Electric_Dreams]

That is a ridiculous statement.

[lonelyanxiousgirl]

yeah i would i mean i have autism myself I don't know if it would work but if i like the person sure i would try!

[Electric_Dreams]

Have you read some of the comments on here? How do you feel about certain ones that are horrifyingly narrow minded, vitriolic, mean spirited and ultimately discriminatory. From DevylasArsaukas casually stating that people with Aspergers are retarded and should be locked in warehouses, to ronaldo75 stating that he knows from his experience knowing two people with Aspergers that all people with Aspergers are crazy, to JiPayne casually referring to Aspergers as an illness, to AuroraRoseat awarding JiPayne most helpful answer and very politically correctly thanking "all deities" that she does not have Aspergers. The irony.

[Emmalouise03]

I have aspergers, I seem normal on the internet but to those who actually see me irl don't like me that much, cause it's hard to talk even tho I want to and I have anxiety

[Electric_Dreams]

See but there's nothing wrong with that. I have anxiety which is at time debilitating but the thing is I do have close meaningful relationships with friends. There are some people I feel very comfortable with and don't really have anxiety with, and then there are other people who I am not so close with who I can find it difficult to get on with due to anxiety. I'm sure there is, or could be in the future, close friends who do like you. In this world that is not yet completely morally corrupted, I believe it is impossible for a good person to not be liked by anyone.

[Emmalouise03]

@Electric_Dreams i have a few close friends, mostly on the internet tho... but one irl

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

Dont they lack empathy? I would find that to be the most challenging part.
Also communicating with them could prove difficult
Most likely no. But I wouldn't write someone off completely.

[ronaldo75]

People with asperger's are a pain in the ass. I'm speaking from experience. I was in a band with a guy who had asperger's and was in 2 week (yes...2 week) relationship with a girl who was on the spectrum. They have the "gimmie gimmie me first" immaturity of a child and are always up to some selfish bullshit.

Some example of the shit people with asperger's do:
- Cook or order an entire pizza and eat it in front of guests without offering any. They are also the type to show up to a BBQ and eat 3 plates before being offered

-5 people are talking about a subject and a person with asperger's will totally change the subject because the current topic isn't about them.

- Lie... and I mean LIE about EVERYTHING.

- If you don't do what they want, prepare for hell. Including suicide threats.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

@ronaldo75 ok, maybe they were Leo's though

[DevylasArsaukas76]

wow retard, it's mental based, not behavior based, do some actual research

[DevylasArsaukas76]

and not to mention they operate like a fucking machine,

[Electric_Dreams]

Okay you're just a little misinformed however there is nothing wrong with that in itself. I admire your honest open mindedness and thank you for that. Generally people with autism do not in fact lack empathy; that would be psychopaths, who can be either autistic or near-typical. People with autism, those who are not psychopaths, do empathise quite a lot actually, but the difficulty is that they do not know what they are supposed to do about it.. they very much struggle to show it. For example I always want to console someone if they're upset and it gives me great anxiety to see someone so upset, but I don't know if it is okay for me to do so.. even if I know the person well. Firstly I have a thing where I cannot make physical contact with another person without asking permission. For me it's the only way of knowing whether it's okay to touch someone. Secondly, I don't even know if it is okay for me to go up and talk to the person who is upset. They might want to be alone, they might be angry or something and they might just want me to fuck off, and say something to that effect, or it might be none of my business. I might be invasive if I approach the person. So as much as it makes me anxious to see someone upset.. I don't know if it's okay for me to even go and talk to them.

[Electric_Dreams]

Actually.. seeing that you believe it's an excuse to be an "asshole" and they should be physically beaten as a method to correct their neurological difference.. I am not so sure of what I said in my first comment. You are forming your opinion based off of an individual who implies that he knows what he is talking about because of a bandmate and a two week girlfriend. Firstly that is only two people. Secondly the two week girlfriend doesn't really count as a frame of reference if she was only in this person's life for two weeks. The reason for this is that anyone could be a mess in a two week period if they are going through a difficult time relating to depression, anxiety, grief, or attempting to recover from a painful break up.

[mistixs]

I have Asperger's. There are 2 different types of empathy: cognitive empathy & emotional empathy. Our difficulty with empathizing refers to *cognitive* empathy, not emotional empathy (which is what most people think about when they hear the term "empathy").

We struggle with cognitive empathy, which means we have difficulty understanding people. People tell me that I'm embarrassing to be around, because I don't understand social cues. That's due to my struggle with "cognitive empathy". But I feel so bad that I cry when people tell me that I embarrassed them - that's because while I struggle with cognitive empathy, I do NOT struggle with emotional empathy; people have actually told me that I'm too empathetic in that sense.

[DWornock]

What a God Damn bitch. She shouldn't be allow to be a judge.

[AuroraRoseat]

She had a strong reaction to him as many people would, so it's understandable to me. If he does have the syndrome, they should have been alerted (or he should have told them). It doesn't excuse his behavior but it does explain it. Then again, they're there to judge singing, not whether or not the individual is likable.

[DWornock]

Frankly, I didn't see anything he did wrong. I did see very rude judges that expect people to act in some undefined manner that they apparently like or expect but don't explain that to the contestants.

[Electric_Dreams]

It's not necessary for an individual with autism to disclose that they have it. That is a choice that each individual can make.

[Screenwriter]

Yeah, but someone's "likeability" and how they present themselves sells their music too. It's a package deal. If you're just starting out you have to be patient, like she was saying. Waiting three hours is nothing. But he was open about something he never should've admitted because he has Asperger's. His behavior ruled him out of the contest. It was clear he had trouble "reading" the reactions and governing his own behavior. He was "off."

[Passinggas]

There are varying degrees of it and some can be really smart, so yes possibly.

[Darth_Autismus]

I depends on the individual.
You can't atribute negative traits to an entire population, that is stupid.

[AuroraRoseat]

Yup.

[Avicenna]

No, female Aspies are rarer, so I'll leave to them to the male Aspies.

[ronaldo75]

Asperger's is a form of perpetual childhood. Meaning they are immature beyond belief in ways that are actually dangerous. I was with a female aspie and she was NOTORIOUS false rape accuser and had a documented history (her grandmother emailed it to me) of being violent with men then calling the cops to say she was beaten and/or raped.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

male aspies will just talk about yu gi oh, and other childish shit,

[Bensbooks]

Fun fact: Kara, the judge who was being mean to Andrew, actually went to Andrew and apologized and dated for a while.

[ronaldo75]

No. Asperger's makes people incredible self-centered and difficult to deal with.

[DWornock]

What a racist you are. People with Asperger's syndrome or no more self-centered or difficult than others. In fact, they are less so because they are far more logical, truthful, and honest. They just don't catch all the nuances that others see.

[ronaldo75]

@DWornock Racist?

[DWornock]

Yes, racist! Discriminating against those that are different whether they are black (a different race) or some other reason, it is the same thing.

[ronaldo75]

@DWornock Asperger's isn't a race, dumbass. It's a personality disorder.

[lonelyanxiousgirl]

i dont really think thats true.. i mean anyone can be self centered its not something unique with aspergers

[ronaldo75]

@lonelyanxiousgirl It's 10 times worse in people with asperger's.

[ronaldo75]

@lonelyanxiousgirl Asperger's creates a lack of empathy in the mind and people with Asperger's can't pick up the social queues and body language that let people know how they feel.

For example if you as a girl went up to a cute guy with asperger's and starting giggling and flirting with him he would have NO clue that you're attracted to him and would keep playing with his cell phone like nothing is happening.

[lonelyanxiousgirl]

its still possible for them to get better at recognizing those things with time i think...

[Electric_Dreams]

That's a common misconception, that people with autism are self centred. Often seeming to be self centred is considered a identifying trait of autism, when in actuality most people with autism just don't enjoy being around people so often as most neuro-typicals. People with autism do get lonely, and do need human contact as pretty much any human does, however many of them can get anxious and irritable when around people for extended periods of time, or what they would consider to be too frequently. Furthermore it is actually believed that many people with autism may perhaps have an excess of empathy; they empathise too much, however the highly frustrating thing is that they do not know what to do with that empathy, or how to convey it.

[Electric_Dreams]

@DWornock I'm sorry dude, this made me laugh. As a comedy writer this is something I would put in a sitcom; someone calling an individual racist for making a sweeping generalisation about people with autism. Autism is not a race. People with autism are of the human race, as much as they often may not feel like it. Actually a fairly common analogy for what it feels like to be autistic is if a neuro-typical person were to go to another planet with intelligent life where everything they do is wrong and frowned upon. Nonetheless, as far as we know, people with autism are of the human race. I believe the word you are looking for is 'discriminatory'.

[EmbraceThePain]

Only if it’s AuroraRoseat.

[AuroraRoseat]

Haha. Funny. I don't have the Syndrome, thank all deities.

[EmbraceThePain]

Well, if you did, you can rest assured that you have at least one man on speed dial.

[DWD1994]

This is exactly why I refuse to tell women I date that I'm an aspie.

[name_is_eric]

Hell no! First, it's wrong. Second, I don't want retarded children.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

Down Syndrome is basically retarded, someone with aspergers might have a better future, but there's no guarantee, and they'll probably end up being a financial drain, and will cause a divorce, best to avoid that outcome

[Electric_Dreams]

@DevylasArsaukas76 "might have a better future, but there's no guarantee, and they'll probably end up being a financial drain, and will cause a divorce, best to avoid that outcome"

You are describing the human race, not any specific group within the human race.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

@Electric_Dreams still it is hard for them either way, if you left them alone to fend for themselves without any assistance or anyone to rely on, they would perish

[mistixs]

I have Asperger's & I don't want to reveal personal information about myself, but if you knew me personally, you'd know how laughable it is to refer to people with Asperger's as "retarded."

[DevylasArsaukas76]

@mistixs ignore him he's just a small dick, Nazi punk

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I don't know this is a tough one for sure?

[ChocolateBrowny]

I’d date an aubergine yeah.

[YHL6965]

Yes, it's not an issue for me.

[IHateBeingaMan]

I can see myself doing that