Are you the more submissive or dominant partner in a relationship?

Question

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I’m simply not a submissive person. It doesn’t matter what kind of person the guy is, it is not a part of me as an adult.

He will either like this about me or we won’t be together. I had to live life on my knees for 8 years. It doesn’t come naturally to Me, I literally felt disgusted the entire time, I did it to survive and I won’t go back to it.

I do understand People are happy choose it, A NCE version of it.. but to me FOR me it is always has negative Connotations and there is nothing enticing about it, to me.

Partly bc I simply am not passive I don’t have that impulse. And also bc of my past. I do think even withoit my last I would not tend towards submissiveness. I was never that way even when life was normal. It’s just not my spirit.

it dots cause some hiccups bc I get easily uncomfortable of I shear I’m being too passive in a situation, but no relationship is ever without sone give for anyone or there will be way too much friction.

I am not an aggressive person I’m not out to try to control it dominate anyone. It is not in the least attractive to me. Nor is the reverse.

I do best in relationships with people who are OK with how I am or are similar themselves. Assertive when necessary chill otherwise and don’t feel a need to dominate.

As for sex.. it is no different. Unlike (it seems but I can be wrong) most people, I don’t consider sex an act of domination or submission, but a mutually pleasurable consensual activity. We are BOTH voluntarily there. If I get picked up or thrust around a bit I do bc I like it and it is fun. I’m not giving into Anyone else’s will, in fact it’s more like getting a ride at a carnival. Which normally you have to pay for bc a service is being provided. Sex isn’t about demonstrating power or pricing a point about Femininity or masculinity , it is just a bonding experience where energy is used efficiently for the enjoyment of both. Everyone takes their part and does what they do best. That’s what makes it work. I don’t see any power play there and I really wouldn’t enjoy sex with someone who needed to use it to prove something about power dynamics. I just want to be in it , not about it.

My answer is really I’m neither submissive not dominant in any relationship, as a position. I like there to be flow.

As a person and in relation to relationships, I am not submissive period.

Rocky_Jocky57 · Accepted Answer

In neither. I'm a compromiser. But, I will hold my own Nd in not about to just f8ve up my views and ideas and longings for someone, on the drop of a that, unless communication, solutions etc, have been discussed.

However, if we discuss it and something of my side requires to be put on hold for a significant reason, I'm willing to do, so and allow the my partner to have his thing done, but in not neglecting my side forever.

This is why I like to plan, strategize and discuss things prior to the day its needed and such. It allows both to get what they want and both can be satisfied with the outcome.

leftygriffy · Accepted Answer

I'm both!!! When I want something I'll make damn sure to get it without breaking boundaries or respect!!! And when she wants something I'll break to her will and join her lol makes it for a good relationship

MrHopper · Accepted Answer

Submissive in day to day but Dominant in the bedroom. I like the feeling of making her do what I want.. Almost feels like payback

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

Submissive, and sometimes it can be a problem. All the girlfriend I have had are very assertive and dominant so it's not easy to always take charge.

Lexiwho · Answer

My husband and I have been together for what seems like forever. In a good way. We were really good friends before we dated and then married and so we know each other extremely well. And because we were friends first, we didn’t gravitate to traditional roles. Just like in our friendship, in our marriage we both have areas where we are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive. But I would say he is more dominant in more areas than I am... except when it comes to sex. Sexually, I have a more dominant personality.

MikeAndMolly · Answer

Definitely more dominant, at least in the bedroom.

We treat each other's opinions and feelings respectfully and equally in other aspects of the relationship (to do otherwise is unhealthy at best and more probably abusive), but she's a definite sub, sexually.
We live with her family at the moment so we don't have much chance to get into really freaky stuff, but I know she's into dress-up, roleplay, bondage, and "forced" fantasies, and I'm 100% on board with living those out (in a safe and trusting environment).

We sometimes flip things around for a fun change of pace, but the dominant role definitely feels more natural and comfortable for me.

CubsterShura · Answer

I really don't know since I am a virgin and we will only find out with my future hubby after marriage 😂 I personally like the idea of switching. I don't believe that sex is something that's supposed to be done to me.

I don't want anyone to think that just because I'm petite and emotional and like being girly-feminine and I'm quite traditional and religious in terms of sex/marriage 'values' it means that I'll most likely be submissive in bed. Again, of course I'll never know until I get sexually active but the idea of me being submissive all the time just sets me off *eye roll*, part of me was always strongly passionate for stuff and thirsty for learning more and more, which even includes educating myself about eroticism and sex... Am definitely gonna apply the education, enthusiasm passion and in bed once I'm married.

Ok that's too many words for the fact that I secretly strongly fantasize femdom 😂😂😂 don't judge meee I just wanna be assertive and love my man ❤️🙈🙈

alelectro · Answer

Generally dominant except for my kryptonite -- which is a girl who cooks and likes a guy who can eat. If I was ever with a woman who liked fat guys for some reason, I'm sure she could blow me up so fast, which would incidentally probably also make me easier to dominate.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Sexually I like to switch, although usually default to being the dom since women are generally submissive. Ideally I'd date a girl who likes to "take turns" or something to that effect, although switches seem harder to find than a total sub or total dom. (I've only been with subs so far, although on occasion they would take charge and it was pretty hot!)

In the non-sexual aspects of relationship I like to make decisions together on important things like where we live etc. And on less important things like where to go for dinner or what dress she should choose, then I'll be the more assertive one and be like "I love you in this dress, you should wear that to the restaurant I've picked out for us." But if she wants to pick the other dress, then I'm not gonna be like "no bitch how dare you defy me!" xD I'll lead as much as she enjoys being led, beyond that everything else is up for negotiation.

lightbulb27 · Answer

submissive because I hadn't learned to enjoy arguing and I learned the woman is going to complain until she gets what she wants and her needs supercede mine. If she doesn't get what she wants, she will simply amplify the pain.

I started to learn to be the one who does some smack down, but that isn't often, only when needed... I believe in freedom and choice. don't want to be the "boy who cries wolf"...

AynonOMouse · Answer

When it comes to making decisions I am dominant. When it comes to intimacy it depends on the girl. If she is a medium height or tall athletic build then I'd be more dominant for intimacy, but if she was short, very petite and wimpy looking I would be significantly more inclined to be submissive to her.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i'm a bit controlling but it's more of a personal issue. some girls like it and some girls can't stand it. is there an in between? because i don't get the dom/sub shit. i need sex to be intimate and normal and just a little off when we want it to be. maybe it's all about how comfortable you are with someone that you do know?

BuckWild · Answer

I've always been dominant but I've always secretly wanted to be submissive. I'm too freaking dominant the real world. When I get home, I just want a good woman there to give me a kiss, put my cock in a cage, and make me clean the entire house.

yoganshB · Answer

Depends on my partner's opinion. If she wants to be dominated then I'm the gonna fulfill her desire. Of she wants us to be equally dominant then no problem at all. I don't know what would it likely be to be dominated.

jacield · Answer

I believe woman should be submissive towards their husband as long as he is leading in the right direction and way. Yes it's old school way of thinking but guess what it's how God intended..

morimeme1 · Answer

In general I would say we are pretty equal, I am pretty independent but I wouldn't classify as either dominant or submissive. In bed it's a whole different story tho 😉

andreasderjuengere · Answer

My woman is my partner - not a servant.
Potentially, I am both dominant AND submissive.
We do have situations, when 'she' can't get to an opinion or decision. "Case pending" gives me itchy fingers - in such cases I may be a tyrant even... but for the good of both of us.
I will also not 'submit' where it comes to my own 'higher values'.
Then: not having it 'my way' does not mean that I can't be happy or comfortable with 'her' ... way/s.

The_White_Queen · Answer

Submissive to him i guess. I dont find submissive men attractive and i dont think i could respect my man if he was submissive toeards me.

Bribree18 · Answer

Dominant in the relationship (I’m a more assertive person in general), but more submissive in the bedroom.

scholastic_vibez · Answer

I’m more submissive in my relationship. I just don’t get turned on by aggressive sex antics like pulling her hair or choking her neck etc. I enjoy being tied up or being told what ways to please my girlfriend. Sometimes she’ll leave love notes behind hinting or telling me what to expect later in the evening.

Sonorous · Answer

I could definitely see myself being sexually dominant. It would feel too weird to be submissive. Like kinda emasculating. But in other situations, like if a decision is being made, I prefer to be equal.

GhostMochi · Answer

I'm submissive, sadly. I want to try and be a little more assertive and get my point across for potential future relationships.

BrighteyedAsh · Answer

It's more dynamic than that. Sometimes I can be more dominant and others more submissive. We are both very happy with not getting pigeonholed into one specific role.

Anonymous · Answer

I refuse to ever submit to anyone ever again, no matter what. Either she submits to me, or there IS no relationship.

Mommy95 · Answer

Depends if im with a girl im more dominate and if im with a guy im very submissive

Agem123 · Answer

I'm the boss of the relationship. Lol Submissive only in bed (even though I like to switch sometimes)

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

I used to be submissive as fuck but I managed to crawl out of that shit. Now I can be a little TOO "my way or the highway" sometimes lol.

_SOARER_ · Answer

Dominant for sure.  I gotta initiate everything and that makes me happy.  Thats what a man does.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

with men, I am very very submissive. with needy girls, I am the dom... most of them won't do anything I want, so i have to take charge...

phateacher · Answer

There is two side of it when we deal with the things in which she has expertise then she acts as a dominant partner and vice versa in most cases
But when it comes to sex most of the time i like to be dominant one positive side of this is when occassionally she act as dominant partner it feels too good

Besomorph · Answer

Welp i would like to be both but only on certain things
A relationship should be equal, both should have the same rights and the same things to say
Submissive probably in the part of sex, dominant when it comes to arguing between us
But yeah i kinda like equality more

SMOOTHBROTHER · Answer

All men are dominant ALPHA MALES.. but some don't fully learn this until there later years in life. some are slow learner's. but all men are ALPHA MALES... some will not graduate from beta males but that is ok for them.

mrpowerz · Answer

In all of my relationships I have always been the dominat one. Actually I had to be the one to introduce several of them to the Idea of submissive
and believe me i take great pride when I hear that little squeal she makes letting me know i have her right wear I want her. secretly always wish one of my exgf would dominate me but it hasn't happened yet

TahoeHiker · Answer

In the bedroom it varies. We generally know who will be dominant or submissive the first five minutes.

BlondeGoneWild · Answer

Definitely submissive. Personally I don’t find it attractive at all when a guy is submissive

loveslongnails · Answer

Women don't like men they can push around, they just like "trying" to. I don't let that happen. :)

RedThread · Answer

I think a relationship should be an equal partnership with give and take.

Grond21 · Answer

I will be the dominant, but I won't ride roughshod over her. It's a partnership

crazy8000 · Answer

What do you mean, dominant or domineering since both of them are two different things and are misused in that area?

(people that normally dominate aren't dominant and dominate people rarely dominate unless they must, does the dominant person need to dominate a person most of the times that person usually gets cut out of the dominant person's life. a lot of female's get this wrong. someone that has a need to dominate others are usually overcompensating)

Cherokeehp · Answer

I am definitely more dominant. I think I’m just a very strong willed person in general.

PinkMichae · Answer

We are both switches. We bring out our dominant and submissive sides at different times.

ecfresh · Answer

Dominate overall, obviously switch when she has the knowledge and expertise. Can’t have a healthy relationship when the roles are set in stone.

boumka · Answer

Submissive if she's kind and make me feel I'm in the right place at her side. At first Im quite dominant and not willing.

sawno · Answer

I love both, but if i have to pick submissive because the thrill of dominating her does not hold up the the pleasure of being teased.

GreatnessBack · Answer

I'm more dominant and I loooove to choke, and a little bondage.

Anonymous · Answer

In our relationship, slightly more dominant. She's very strong minded and is definitely no push-over, but I make more of the big decisions. Then when it comes to sex I'm completely dominant.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Both depending on my mood. That goes for in the bedroom as well.

Finchie40 · Answer

More dominant but i like to be submissive once in awhile so switch keeps things exciting

Anonymous · Answer

Mostly sub since am a very go with the flow person, which got my ex say I should stand up to her and argue, that relationship didn't last long since I don't like to argue

Bellaboo01 · Answer

I'm always the submissive one and I want it to be that way all the time

Apple1996 · Answer

I'm definitely dominant

TheRealQuestion2 · Answer

Always been submissive but im becoming more dominant.

Iuse2hands · Answer

Dominant. I do like it though when she takes initiative from time to time. It's nice to be surprised.

kablamm · Answer

Dominant. I actually see it as a responsibility thing. I take more initiative and try to make things better.

whitehide · Answer

Dominant for the most part, but sometimes I just like to let it go and be a little submissive for a while

DanOh2018 · Answer

I'd be a sub for a worthy master, but she'd have to be rich and have a powerful presence. I'd also have to gain from my service. Otherwise I'm usually the dominant one.

LazyMan · Answer

I am a Switch. But it depends on the person. Usually if I am dominant towards a partner. I will stay as such. But it takes a really specific person to make me want to submit.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Dominate, but not in terms of being annoying, control freak or having my way or the highway attitude, but rather I'm the leader as a man of my woman and household.

BadGoyim · Answer

I'm dominate. No matter what her Jewish mother says.

hisokadb · Answer

I like to get dominated by older girls then me (milfs etc) i like to dominate when they are younger then me

westwordbound · Answer

I prefer to be dominant. The problem is I’m a low key guy and some women mistake that for being submissive.

Karl1982 · Answer

Depends on the situation. Relationships are about compromise.

COMMODOREII · Answer

I like to take turns but i do love a dominant woman..😎

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