Honestly I don't really know what to do?

[johnT58]

I waited for my crush to get over her ex So I can asks her out , she had a really rough break up.3/4 months have passed till then just to find out that now she has a crush on someone. she is kind , gentle etc and she is actually looking for something serious , she values feelings a lot , yet she is chasing a guy right now that said he doesn't want anything serious and turned her away when he found out that she wanted something to last and the age gap is kinda big. Should I try or it's lost already? Right now she is waiting for him to respond and find out if he wants her and stuff like that

[rud0_88]

She just needs a rebound man. After a few other guys, she might be ready to date again, but chances are, she'll end up with a rebound. Your best bet, be a rebound and hope you're exciting enough that she stays. But to be a rebound, you gotta play her. Is that what you want? And with play her, I domt mean mistreat her or lie to her, or anything like that. I just mean, dont bring up long term stuff. Dont being up deep feelings, unless she does first. Just make sure she gets the hint you just want to comfort her physically and maybe she'll let you stay emotionally.

[johnT58]

But at the same time she is saying she wants someone for long term relationship , someone she can rely on etc... isn't it weird?

[rud0_88]

Yeah its weird. Maybe you've been friend zoned, my friend. No pun intended. I mean, I'm a firm believer that girls and guys can be friends, but its either just friends, or its lovers. If you try to be friends with most girls, you'll probably always stay a friend. There HAS to be this sexual chemistry in the air. If its not there, then she'll go for other guys that give that to her.

My recommendation (which might be crap for you, but works for me) is back off and let her come to you. Show that you're happy, successful, healthy, fun and show her that if she wants all that too, that she needs to be with you. But dont back off all the way. Keep her in your life and communicate, just back off a little. Maybe even ask directly ask her out, but don't be clingy. You're good on your own. You just enjoy her company.

Keep that attitude and it might work.

[johnT58]

Actually it's not crappy at all , I was planning to do something similar to that , the only thing I am trying to figure out now is how I can give her hints that I am interested but nothing that will look like I'm trying to get her , if you know what I mean

[rud0_88]

I know what you mean, but honestly, if you keep the "playing a game" attitude, she shouldn't feel anything wring with it.

Not sure where your friendship level is at though now. Maybe its already just friends, or whatever. I don't know man but yeah, you dont have to let her know anything. Just persue her. Make small advances amd see if she accepts. If not, back off, if so, keep going.