Any tips for dating a divorced man?

[Anonymous]

Any tips on dating a man who is divorced?

[akihon]

As a divorced man I can give you plenty of tips

I don't know his history so I'm going to relate to mine, you might not like what you read but I didn't say it was going to be pretty.

I was for want of anything better an abused husband, badly abused, I didn't loose body parts but i very nearly took my own life as a result of the lies said in court and the loss if my home and everything that went with it including seeing my children, the biggest abuses were done by the state and how they jumped to her side even with evidence provide to show she was lying.

So your starting from a position of living by default, I wouldn't trust you, so what you say and do have to match up.

If you say Saturday then mean Saturday and if you say seven then mean seven not 7:30-7:45

If you're not happy about something then speak up, I can't read your mind and you can't mine. Speak up and say. It can't be fixed otherwise but if your in the wrong accept it and fix it.

Don't expect that I'll be willing to make those sacrifices for you, I did that before and it nearly cost me my life, I'll do it because you've asked and I want to but if I don't you have to accept it.

If you want it to work you need to put in as much effort as me, if you expect me to go the extra for you but you won't for me, goodbye I'll be fine and I'll move on.

I won't get married again, you already know why so for him maybe the same thing but push it and you're going to be single again.

Grow up, don't behave like an entitled princess, you have to earn what you get from him nothing is yours by right.

[LightEnd]

I share your pain man. Just dont get married and life will turn around for you. I have about 7 more years of wage slavery before I can start enjoying the fruits of my labor and rebuilding my personal assets and stability.

It really is bullshit what can happen

[akihon]

Yeah it is mate, don't worry it already turned around for me.

Not going to brag about it but as a software developer I build a lot of my own stuff in my time, after the divorce and when I'd got the help I needed I sold off the licences and software and was able to buy a two houses, two cars an island and two bikes with cash, my life is settled now and I have lots to be thankful for, even though I can't have contact with my kids, my eldest did contact me and asked for the truth so I gave him a address to contact to get a copy of the court papers, so nobody could say I'd altered them.

He got the papers and he's not a happy kid for what she did. I have gone mgtow so concentrate on myself, marriage is something that I'll never do again. I do date but stick to only short term and kill it when either of us develops feelings. I've been asked if I get lonely but in truth I'm most often far too busy to care or notice.

Either way I feel free and happy with my life, my eldest knows the truth and it's only a matter of time before my youngest will as well, after that they'll get to an age where they can decide for themselves, of course it means that my ex looses in the long run but she made her choice.

[LightEnd]

That's great man, I'm very happy for you. I hope I can emulate you in some of those things.

[akihon]

@LightEnd Whatever it is, keep working away at it and things will fall into place for you, it might be next week or next year but in my experience, when men have been down this low and don't give up nothing can stop them and they always make it to the top of their mountain.

[LightEnd]

1. Be a truly independant woman
2. If he has kids develope some sort of relationship with them if things get that serious
3. Dont complain about things, rather try to be a helper in life. Life is hard enough for all of us.
4. Understand that he probably wants to provide for you but he likely had a woman that was sucking off of him, complaining all the time, at home getting fat and he is weary of this repeating itself. He may still be paying her money so dont judge him too much on financial issues.
5) help pay for dates.
6) dont push for cohabitation and marriage, if you desire those things show him by your actions over a long period of time that you won't be like other women
7) if you get him to drop uis guard and commit to living together and/or marriage.

DONT CHANGE!!

[LightEnd]

Also, dont get mad or take it the wrong way if he desires a prenuptial agreement and is overly concerned with keeping what is his.

The divorce laws are a bunch of bullshit in a world where women are equal to men

[MissDawn7961]

yes ! do not date a divorced man ! for you will never know who was at fault for the break up of his wife and him ! also , she may keep in contact with him and follow him and you around every where ! it is called stalking too ! Thanks

[kibbenkat]

Be gentle and direct. Learn about the flaws of his previous marriage, and learn lessons from it. Apply the lessons to your relationship to create a better relationship than his last.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

He is still a human being, even though his divorced so treat him like a new person not divorcee or don't have pre assumptions never show him pitty.. If you like the guy really be yourself and discover him as a person without backage from his past once you get close everything shall reveal itself

[codycccccccccc]

at least pretend to like his kids
Let him talk it out if needed
Realize divorce is extremely expensive so he might be less financially stable than his peers
And most importantly lots of sex because most marriages end because of a lack of sex

[Anoniemus]

His guard may be up especially if the woman screwed his. So be careful.

Then again, divorced men are usually the best ones to date since they are more likely to commit again (from what I’ve read).

[D_Bone_Steak]

Pay attention to what they share about it and mind what baggage they're bringing with them or the baggage of themselves they haven't dealt with still.

My opinion is genderless as well.

[spartan55]

It's really pretty much the same EXCEPT FOR THE EX FACTOR. Due your diligence on the ex BEFORE you get serious. Trust me on this.

[lucas262]

He's not over it
He will have trust issues
And a lot of his emotion is likely buried in there and could take a long while to get out of him.

Someone who's been stabbed in the back isn't usually quick to turn it to another person

[jss123]

Don't mess him around. Understand he might be hurting. I divorced my ex because she had an affair... I don't trust women too easily anymore so he might require you to prove yourself to him that you're not like that and won't use him.

[Avicenna]

This is a good question. He may still be feeling the effects of the divorce, especially emotionally, so be reliable, consistent and trustworthy.

[Laozi]

Be patient with him. Because it would be hard for him to trust you. You need to understand him.

[AynonOMouse]

Figure out what he disliked about his ex and make sure you don't have or show those kinds of tendencies.

[DiscomfortZone]

Yeah. Don't be a bitch, he's obviously had enough of that.

[BasicBad]

Yes. He’s like any other guy. If he has a Dick, Suck it.

[Anonymous]

He got divorce raped already and pays alimoney to his ex wife, so there is no money to extract from him. What could you possibly want from a divorced man?

[Anonymous]

Dating a divorced man is like dating an emotionally unstable person, it's very unhealthy. Better rethink that and make sure he doesn't treat you like crap if you want to date him.

[Steve061963]

If the divorce is recent then I'd agree with you, emotions need time to play out, but to use that as a general statement I think is misleading. They have done studies on divorced people to see how long it takes to 'recover' from the relationship. It's usually about a 4:1 ratio. For every 4 years married, you should take 1yr off from dating. That is just an average so it doesn't fit everyone, but it's a good rough idea, so if he was only married a couple years and it's been a couple years since the divorce he should be more emotionally stable, but if he's been married several years and only divorced a few months, stay away. He needs time to find his own way again.

[aly34]

I think u shd also have some knowledge what went wrong in his marriage.

[howlinsilently]

Have a word with the one who has been there.

[Chill_Meta]

Be patient and considerate

[Plitty-Tank]

Just ask them if they'd like to date you.

[rockyroc16]

just be alert of signs it may happen again

[Jamie05rhs]

Beware.

[dthomas89]

Just date him