Why do guys never talk to me or make a move?

[Anonymous]

I have this problem where I'm chronically single because men never show any apparent interest in me, and I don't know why. People call me attractive a lot, but even if this is true, I don't have that certain thing that galvanizes men to actually act on any attraction they may have. My friends all like to make fun of me for being the permanent third wheel as they all have boyfriends. I don't know what's wrong with me. Here's a description of me:
- 5'8", 130lbs
- Natural blonde, green eyes, pale skin, good teeth
- General hourglass figure - 32DD/small waist/curvy hips, but long skinny legs and a small, flat-ish butt (don't know how much of an issue this is...)
- Good job in a field I'm passionate about
- Hobbies/interests include volunteering, cooking, and reading non-fiction (primarily history, science and politics)
- Highly introverted but very friendly if you start talking to me. I try to smile at everyone even though it makes me uncomfortable sometimes.
Is there anything glaringly wrong based on this? Is something about my appearance, interests, or demeanor stopping men from initiating things? I'm starting to get really self-conscious because other women my age seem to be getting boyfriends very easily...

[Doody22]

From your description you sound ideal (without making you sound like a second hand car) the problem could be one of or a mixture of a few things, firstly the introverted thing introverts usually don't ooze the vibe of come and talk to me (I am an introvert too) but you can't change who you are and nor should you have to, if your always in a group of people especially if your with your friends and their boyfriends are there it makes it even harder for guys to come and talk to you. You could try using your hobbies to your advantage by joining a cooking class, book club or a volunteer project and meeting someone there at least you would have something in common and it would make conversation easier at the beginning.

[Doody22]

and the flat ish butt isn't a problem as long as it is some what convex lol

[winterfox10]

Being introverted is definitely not doing you any favors in the current social climate. You have to understand that a whole lot of men, maybe even most men, think that it's a waste of time to approach women. Forget about the immediate risk of rejection, or whatever else, because that isn't actually that bad. Most men just figure that they have things they would rather do.

I'm gonna be real, you sound sexy. If you look like I'm imagining, then most guys will probably figure that you are either already taken, or simply wouldn't be interested in dating them.

[Crystal03]

Maybe you are attractive but has a plain personality.

[Anonymous]

It's strange seeing women writing stuff like this. This society ridicules men, screams about toxic masculinity, they have laws on street harassment and approaching females, feminism, METOO, risk of being labelled a harasser, creep or worse... and women wonder why guys aren't approaching them?

Back before all of this stuff, I used to approach any girl I was attracted to, wherever she was. I talked to girls at Bus stops, in shopping centers, clubs, bars, random passer by. I no longer approach anymore...

A guy was even in court accused of sexual assault and when they looked at the CCTV footage, he'd walked by the girl in about 2 seconds...

[MzAsh]

It’s all in how you approach. Guys still approach me. Some are awkward as hell. Others knows what they’re doing. Depends.

[Twalli]

Honestly the only thing I would dislike from this is your cup size. I bet guys like you, but none that you also like. That's the hard part. You can get guys, just not those you'd like. It doesn't mean you are unattractive, just that the guys who fit your standards have other interests

[Browneye57]

Your total focus is on YOU. Guys just aren't into that - they want YOU to be interested in THEM.
Or as they say, you have to BE a friend to HAVE a friend.

[Bongem]

hm, I agree with your statement but I do think that in a conversation you both need to show interest in each other. I think you are saying this with your last sentence. When I was dating, my main rule was: listen to her, talk about her and only talk about yourself when she asks about you. The last thing mostly occurred when she felt I was genuinely interested in her as well.

[Browneye57]

@Bongem - OP is a navel-gazer. The entire focus is on herself. Rather typical actually. Some of them grow out of it, some never do.

[Bongem]

Well, I think she just took her first step: she asked to improve herself. I hope she takes this feedback with her and gets the result she wants. After all, I believe that most people are actually good people or trying to be. (with the psychological exceptions ofc).

And don't forget, we (and you a bit more) have the advantage of experience and gained some kind of insights because of that. It's a major advantage.

[Browneye57]

@Bongem - You need to understand, and I doubt asker can, is that her entire focus and interest in completely on herself. Read the Q again - there is not ONE SINGLE thing mentioned about what value she brings to a relationship, what she would DO for her man, what she has to offer. It's all about her looks and her interests. This narcissism and solipsism on full unabashed display. It's a mental illness, if you will.

Love can't start 'till attraction does, and then there needs to be a conversation. So asker will never get off the ground cuz she is only and completely focused on HERSELF.

[dthomas89]

You're gun shy, essentially

You just have a hard time meeting new people, because you fear that people will hurt you

it's common

Men experience the same thing

[MannMitAntworten]

Likely just that you are introverted and a growing number of men either either introverted themselves or simply terrified to approach women.

[mrcoolhk]

You are absolutely fine and just be who u are and what u r dont try to please people in the cruel just be urself and u will get everything u desire for

[sersss]

don't smile, if it makes you uncomfortable - just be yourself! And maybe you have a high raised criteria for guys? Or maybe you appear too needy?

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why you never talk to guys or make a move.

[selfdestruction]

They’re intimidated. Also, men are taught to repress those natural urges to ask women out.

[LetsDESTROYgag]

thats not jus u... men jus dont approach girls much anymore in general

[LetsDESTROYgag]

we have a fear to do so cos of the

:high risk of rejection
:be seen as creepy
:come off as awkward and embaress ourself
:get slapped

[jeffjeffjeffjeffjeff]

Have you tried making on guys?

[jeffjeffjeffjeffjeff]

making moves*

[Pric_Nick]

Ask the guy out you are almost guaranteed a yes

[outside_Toronto]

must be something you're saying or doing (or not)

[morrowlow]

Must be the flat butt

[Plitty-Tank]

He might think you would take advantage of him.

[KrakenAttackin]

You sound gorgeous!