Guys, Why do you guys assume that nice guys always come in last?

[Yads_Is_Back]

It’s not black and white. That’s not the only thing we consider in a man. Some nice guys do get a lot of women, and some rude guys actually don’t get crap. So what else is it about YOU that women might not find attractive? Because being nice is NOT the only factor, guys

Don’t believe me?
I’ll use celebrities. (Here the other factors are very attractive looks and wealth.)
***** I can PROMISE you that if Channing Tatum and Chris Hemsworth are nice guys in real life, they DON’T finish last!

So, there are other factors besides being nice. That’s not the ONLY thing we consider in a man. Personality matters too! (Maybe one thing we like is confidence, and you show a lack of that when you assume all nice guys finish last, so maybe that’s a factor of why you’re in last 🤔🤔🤔)

[jaybee281]

By nice guy we don't mean the good man to his girl like there is no girl who would go for a guy who is just a dick to her that's illogical.. By nice guy we mean the guy that sugarcoats everything that agrees with the girl on everything she says that is hiding what he would truly say if it was someone else just to make the girl think that he's nice.. That's why the so called jerks win because they're real and are actually good men with their woman (of course not all of them are just sayin that jerks in the eyes of other guys are like satan or something which ain't true)

[Yads_Is_Back]

Wow. You're so right!

[Fromdusktilldawn]

So my opinion is: msny refer themselves as nice guys but actually they are insecure, have low self confidence and try to be as nice and gentlemen-like as they can. But if they get rejected they take that really hard and get jealous easily.
I honestly say I speak out of experience, made that mistake too

[Anonymous]

Why do guys assume that nice guys finish last?
It's fairly easy...
When you look at the actions of almost any female, you will see that they always treat the "nice guys" like shit (but usually keep them around for the attention they get from them) and then they cream themselves for the assholes who are "bad boys".

Rude guys do get crap... there is an actual thing called negging which works with women in dating where a guy treats her like shit and she will feel the need to prove herself. This is what douche bag PUA's use to get women and it works. It's been proven time and time again.

Cherry picking rich & famous males (and therefore handsome, because money buys looks) as your "nice guy" example... is nonsense. They are nice because they have money, fame, women, and everything else. If they weren't famous, were broke, still looked like they did, but were cheating assholes who basically didn't give a shit about their girl... women would still pick them.

But you are right, their are other factors... the main one being money, then status, fame, etc.

"Confidence" is just a word used to explain arrogant, cocky, and generally a dick personality.

This guy had all the confidence in the world, it wasn't until he had money and fame (which allowed him to look like this)...

... that women gave him the time of day.

[Yads_Is_Back]

We basically agree on my point then. (Another way of projecting it: a nice guy with all certain factors will prevail over a rude guy with all the same factors. Give them the exact same factors and the only difference is one's nice and one's mean, and see who wins the chicks.) Don't forget that personality also comes in as a factor. And where you mentioned my example, you said "... still looked like they did..." well that's a factor, amigo. Appearance counts, and it would be even more to their benefit in that way because it wouldn't be due to the money (as you said when you took those factors away).
Where you're absolutely wrong, though, is about confidence. There is a huge difference in confidence and conceit/arrogance. I can't stand a conceited guy. I don't care how nice he is to me, I will not be with a guy who's stuck up. And I'm not the only woman who sees it that way either.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes and no.
Yes I agree that given the same factors the nice guy will prevail over the non-nice guy but the factors are almost never the same.
The "hot" guys are almost always assholes, because they can be. Rich guys as well.
Guys with status or power get there by being assholes.
Nice guys are nice guys because they have to be, they have nothing else. Like a fat girl who has a "good" personality. She would likely be a shallow, snarky, bitch if she was one of the "hot" girls.

In regards to the conceited/confidence. As a male, I know it's the same thing. Women have variations dependent on what works to justify their situation. Two guys who act the exact same to a female will come across differently depending on how she wants to perceive him.
A normal looking guys who is confident... will be seen as a cocky and arrogant pig.
A "hot" guy who does the exact same thing will be seen as "confident".

[Yads_Is_Back]

In the first part you basically just said that the other factors count again lol, and there are good-looking nice guys and there unattractive mean guys. The world is full of variation.
As for the confidence vs. stuck up thing, yeah I agree with you because the first thing to consider is if his reason for being confident is justified. If he’s confident in himself, that’s one thing. But I get what you’re saying and I agree, because let’s say two guys are both confident about their looks, and one is really hot and one is average or maybe below. Yes, I’d think the below average guy is stuck up. If you’re a 10 then yeah be proud of it like the first guy, but if you’re a 2 then don’t go around thinking you’re a 10. Yes, I would say that’s very stuck up. So overall, it looks like we agree on pretty much everything. It’s just that there IS more variety - more rare, yes, but still existent nonetheless. Not all nice guys finish last, and not all mean guys are first. That’s my point, and you’ve already said it. The rest doesn’t invalidate my point.

[Opinion Owner]

My stance is that assholes finish first until women hit their 30's then when their looks start to fade, they begin looking for the "nice" guys who by this point are now financially stable and they need someone to help them through the years where life isn't handed to them on a platter.
Which is why so many end up on dating sites with lines like "Tired of the bad boys" or "just looking for a real man".

[Yads_Is_Back]

Lol yeah, but what percentage of women are on dating sites? Not a high percentage. You’re talking about a small group there. Again, there’s variety (of women too). It’s really simple how we go pick and choose if you consider everything, but I think many men are closed-minded to it because they don’t possess the factors that the woman is looking for. I think it’s an ego thing for guys in that way - not as a stuck up thing but more as a natural one.

[Obtuse]

I don't think it's that all guys who are kind finish last. I think more often, people who finish last use their unproven kindness as their last bastion of hope as being desirable. That's not just a guys' thing in my opinion. It's a thing people who finish last tend to do. "I would have made the sweetest great boyfriend/girlfriend if they just picked me!"

[Obtuse]

The thing I see is that calling ourselves a kind person is the easiest thing to do. Anyone can say that without actually accomplishing anything substantial. It only requires wishful thinking.

[Obtuse]

It's like someone who doesn't get along with anybody and has no friends but says they have a "great personality". I think it's like that. It's not that nice guys finish last. It's that guys who finish last will tend to believe they're the nicest.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Agreed 100%!

[normalice]

Being "nice" for a lot of guys is akin to republicans who are "not racists." Its a thin veneer they only maintain because they think it's how to get what they want. That, in itself, isn't a problem except the "nice" is usually stretched thin by insecurity. It can break under any pressure, and often does.

[Yads_Is_Back]

That makes sense.
You pretty much just said it though. "Insecurity" = no date, usually (We want a man who's secure in himself.)
We do appreciate the men who are nice by nature and not just trying to put on a show for us.

[normalice]

Well, everyone appreciates it when someone they meet is genuine. Even if they are a total ass at least they aren't trying to hide it. I suspect that's where the stereotype of girls preferring "jerks" comes from - jerks are just the most visible of genuine people, so it's what "nice guys" are most likely to see.

[ArrowheadSW]

I think that in this case, "nice guys" are the ones who go out of their way to be nice and women might not see that as a masculine trait. Just my thoughts. Others might be naturally nice people who are considerate to others, etc, that women might find attractive.

[Yads_Is_Back]

If you mean "go out of their way" to impress us because of insecurity, no that's not a masculine trait. That's putting on a show lol, Generally, nobody of either gender wants insecurity. People want partners who are secure with themselves, and that's both genders, as I'm sure you can verify that you wouldn't prefer a woman who is insecure with herself over one who is. Also, when somebody is putting on a show like that just to get a partner they want, the "show" usually doesn't last long because it's fake and it's not who they have always been.

[ArrowheadSW]

Right... Insecurity normally isn't seen as attractive. Although to some extent both genders might find it to be "cute" and not a total deal breaker.

After this post, I was wondering what kind of "nice guy-ism" wouldn't be attractive to women. I knew a guy in grad school who a lot of people considered to be "the nicest guy they knew". To me he was kind of a "suck up" and he was overly complimentary. I never knew of him to have a girlfriend although he "said" that he had a girlfriend back home where he was from.

What kind of "nice guy-ism" would you not find attractive, besides the one who is nice out of insecurity?

[Yads_Is_Back]

To me if it’s not fake and he’s actually a nice man and isn’t just using it to try to get me, then I’d really like the guy.

[AynonOMouse]

I think what they actually mean is that after a girl has screwed a bunch of people and has kids by them then she tries to find a nice guy/sucker to take care of her and them. So they would be her last choice and she chose the other user types first.
Pretty much a lot of single mothers, especially the ones that have kids from more than one man fit into that category.

[Anonymous]

We've seen women time and time again get with complete assholes, ignore the most obvious red flags. One way or another it doesn't work out, then they come crawling back to us, suddenly wanting us. Too late! We found someone who actually wanted us.

[Yads_Is_Back]

You didn't finish last then, did you? If the one you wanted came to you to begin with, like you are saying :) So if you're saying nice guys come in last due to this, that means you're still viewing it in reference to the first girl you wanted, which basically means you're with the second one due to desperation lol
But yeah, most women appreciate nice guys. But again, as I said there are other factors. The second girl obviously saw something else in you that the first girl didn't see.

[Opinion Owner]

I most certainly didn't finish last. But I still have to laugh that women (this has happened several times) who turned me down for some douchebag thinks I'm just sitting around waiting for her. The audacity and entitlement is astounding. They had their chance.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Ehh, as a woman I will say that we tend to have more options, and we don’t take it like you’re saying. It’s not like she’s gonna sit and sulk over you. Trust me, she probably found a better option lol, and usually in these situations the second turns out a lot better than the guy in your position who thinks we are just waiting on him to come back. If you see it as a “game”, which it’s not, then in reality you kind-of lost. You wanted her first, you lost then, she came back to play you, you had found another woman, and then she found a better man. It’s simple math, but it still shouldn’t be seen as a game.

[Opinion Owner]

It is indeed a game. She only wants me when some douchebag failed her. She has every right to choose whoever she wants, but doesn't mean she's not playing games by expecting me to now drop everything when I've moved on.

[winterfox10]

Unfortunately, so many guys think that way because of life experience, my darling. Your sisters don't always treat men with the understanding that other girls will need to clean up the mess later.

[888theGreat]

It is not because women want bad boys over nice guys, it is that women don't want to hurt nice guys if relationship ends badly. They know bad boy can handle it.

[Chitown10]

Because we always do. Females tend to go for the guys who sweet talk first then turn out to be a holes instead of the ones that would compliment and be happy to be with the female.

[COMMODOREII]

Im glad you think so.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Well it’s only all over this site - guys complaining about it 😂