Why do guys want to remain friends after dating?

[Anonymous]

So this has been a recurring theme in my dating life, whether I saw someone for 2-3 dates or up to 3 months, whenever it ends up not working out, the guy always wants to stay friends. The first couple of times this happened I figured they were just saying they wanted to be friends to be nice but didn't actually mean it (ofcourse). But then these guys actually kept in contact with me and genuinely want to meet up as friends, which I have done quite a bit and it seems there's a genuine friendship there.

I just don't get it.
Most people I date it just doesn't work out, also because I'm picky and refuse to settle but sometimes it does hurt, but it seems the friendzone is the zone for me with these guys?

Any guys (or girls) care to shed some light on why this keeps happening?

[Ianto]

Note: this is only a deduction. Any resemblance to questioners on GaG is coincidental. (I. e. I have no wish to offend, merely contribute)

One possible logical conclusion is that you are brilliant company but not great in bed.

[meesegoMoo]

Honestly, you might be that type. You might be so cool or wonderful they want you in their life desperately, but so ugly looking or reserved that they can't feel any romantic interest in you.

[VIVANT]

Is that a thing? I’ve never heard of that.

[VIVANT]

Plus she actually dated them, so They had romanyuc I great in her

[meesegoMoo]

@VIVANT Some people will still try. And it's a thing. I've met people like that. People who I'm not attracted too at all, but I know I could live with long-term. I just usually also respect these people, so I can't be with them because they deserve somebody who actually appreciates them.

Most dudes would still try to see if it would pan out. Just like how if women are stunningly beautiful and horny but are terrible people most men will still use them for a month or two knowing fully-well they aren't going to stay together.

[VIVANT]

Romantic interest* ( typo above)

So you mean try anyhow Bc he likes her but they don’t click ultimately?

[meesegoMoo]

@VIVANT Exactly. Most men are like that. Just look at the average woman, eventually you want to get married. So do men. But men are more likely to pretend that's why their interested in you, despite already having somebody else in mind for actual marriage. They know it won't happen with you but they want something from you so they pretend.

[VIVANT]

hmm I never thought of that Bc I’m not looking for marriage.. well what can they get by pretending?

[meesegoMoo]

@VIVANT Sex. Or tears. Some men like to know they made women sad. It's a power thing. Some believe they can't get married till they've "sowed their wild oats" so they leave the woman they want to marry, have sex with a bunch of strangers, then come back and marry the woman they left.

I've seen more than a couple relationships that went like that.

[VIVANT]

Wow. 🤢🤢🤢 but wow.

[VIVANT]

I mean I guess I’m not totally surprised it’s how a lot of stories unfold

But I don’t think that means this is the case in her case lol it can just be bad luck

[meesegoMoo]

@VIVANT Hopefully. And again that's just most men. I know there are some out there more like myself, we just aren't likely to be found on tinder.

[VIVANT]

I would hope those guys would Be the exception lol

[Asker]

Not to call myself hot or anything, but I know I'm not ugly and I could tell that those guys were definitely attracted to me. Kissing, holding hands, hugging all in public lol, so that's where my confusion comes from. I am very reserved tho, is that a bad thing?

[meesegoMoo]

To some guys. If you were letting them kiss you than that's likely not the issue. In that case you would be in a different group altogether.

Have any of these dudes tried making booty calls after you split up?

[Anonymous]

I can not imagine wanting to be friends with my exs. I would like to see them die in a fire.

[spartan55]

To have sex with you later.

[Malachi69]

They think it's part of a slow let down lol

[legalboxers]

so no ill will...