My friends always get more attention from guys than me. Should I just give up on dating?

Question

For years I’ve been constantly compared to my friends and noticed a pattern of guys going after them and not me and I knew it was because of my skin colour

because I’m not white with blonde hair and blue eyes it seems like I get pushed to the side.

yesterday I posted a selfie of me and my friend on Instagram.. 2 guys messaged me asking “Oo what’s your friends name? Is she single? She’s stunning”

I then jokingly replied back saying “what about me?” And they said “you’re hot but she’s my type, I like blondes”

this is a recurring pattern and I’m actually fed up of guys showing an interest in my friends and not focusing on me. I feel ugly, I feel undesired, it’s actually got to me.. my mum always told me black girls will always be the least desired in the dating world but things are getting better and more interracial couples but if that was the case why am I still single?
Just to clarify I go for men of all colours, but seems like they all like the same blonde, white girls. Any advice?

GraveDoll · Accepted Answer

I have a lot white/Asian female friends and a few are blonde and honestly i get hit on more than all my friends. That not a joke at all and half the time i dont even wear makeup of any kind. and i dont believe in weave etc.
it always the more dominant male of their group i end of up with majority of the time too.

but the fact your mother told you that has probably killed some of your confidence. My mother told me growing up dont you ever let anyone tell you that you deserve less. ever. my mother who has always been a beauty to. she raise all of her three princesses as she calls us as beautiful and dont ever settle on the ideas of a society that dont know much i the first place.
My father is the same way.

One thing all people tell me is when i walk in a room im hard to miss. My confidence is very hard to miss.

when you are out why are you just staying next to your friends. go mango with everybody. and i mean everybody.

Your thinking pattern isn't help your looks at all people see low self esteem rather they know it or not.

we are not going to be everybody's cup of tea. that everyone. But hanging with the same people in the same area is achieving what? nothing branch out and find yourself.

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

Please don't believe you're not beautiful because you're black. And what you're mother said is terrible and untrue. Never have I ever had a problem with getting men even growing up in a town with very very very few minorities.
Try doing some soul searching and focus on yourself. Try to not focus on dating or comparing yourself to other females.

CuriousAnt · Accepted Answer

You are massively hotter than your friend. Guys dream about fucking and dating a girl as hot as you. So if that's not your experience, there is something else going on and absolutely not your appearance.

You could be hanging out with the wrong people, or it could be psychological. Maybe your disappointments have put you in a negative mood, creating self fulfilling prophecies in a vicious circle. IMHO self esteem issues are most likely the real problem.

Whether it is a room full of dicks covered in flowers, or a fulfilling relationship, your looks are actually on your side. You need to believe 😘

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

in my opinion you're making an inaccurate comparison. But you'll never see it that way, you're just sure it's about your looks, when really it's about your personality.

Guys are looking for YOUR level of attraction and desire for THEM. It's just not about race. People like what they like. Go for the ones that like YOU.

And you're wasting your time in insta. It's all fake. Just go out and actually meet and mingle with people in the dating pool. The social media thing is a giant fail.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

No, you shouldn't give up. There are definitely guys out there who like something other than blonde haired, blue eyed girls. One type is not everyone's type.

Truthatanycost · Answer

I think when we have anything that is not 100% authentic (the hair) than it saps our mental / emotional energy and prevents us from flowering. This may have a bigger impact than you imagine. That's my take on it anyway. My friend has recently gone natural and looks much better, and she also talked about the mental difference. She uses rice water and it made her afro hair very easy to comb, even after several months without reapplication.

magiusX26 · Answer

try doing some social things without your friends being connected in any way, such as a secong IG without any of them following you or in any of the pics you post. another example is something like go to a new social gathering (clubbing maybe) way away from where you all as a group hang out by yourself or with some coworkers (assuming the friends are not coworkers) and see how things go.

sorry you have so far been "meeting" fairly close minded guys

scott04sa22 · Answer

I give up on dating because each Each time when she comes to me then another guy come in then takes her from me then she'll get into a LTR then the fucking bastard proposes to her then marries her shortly under a year. All my crushes, ex FWBs and ex girlfriends all have long term boyfriend's, fiance's and husband's if she doesn't want to commit then they become best friends forever until she's ready to commit. That's how my rotten bad luck works. I even had an affair with an unattractive girl to prove my point! Then the next thing you knew another lucky bastard guy comes in then rescues her 🙄 she even knocked Up with twins with the same bastard who took her from me 😒 but she always posting shit on Facebook saying it's the best thing that ever happened to her ^ ^ 😒. I stopped dating soon after.

xANGEx · Answer

I mean it's obviously just because your black. You're cute, you take care of yourself and you obviously have a decent body at least from what I can see so yea. maybe the solution is just going for black guys or mixed guys

JananiiSrii · Answer

Now don't give up or feel unworthy just because some guys liked your friend more Lol. Blonde White girls aren't everyone's type, and there are plenty of guys I know who like Black girls.

BlckGrl · Answer

These middle age white dudes won't understand the whole "I prefer blondes" is just a cop out of saying i'm not into black girls. Which sure is his opinion but in my opinion you're more attractive than her although you both are gorg

Reaperbot666 · Answer

as a white male. I have no issues with dating a darker skin tone female. kind of seems exotic in many ways.

you have a cute face and have a nice body. so as long as you also have an enjoyable personality. there will be someone for you out there.

Tyson656 · Answer

Honestly out of both of you I think you're the more attractive one. But everyone has their own type of person they prefer.

Anonymous · Answer

Why are u comparing urself with her? Or why the hell do u care if guys find u attractive? I find this a big problem in our society, we tend to look beautiful and sexy all of time and get the attention of others! Like ok she is recieving so much guys but she will end up with only one right? all of this will end someday and both of u will end up married ! So why the hell would the concept of guys liking u so important? Actually u look hot too, on her level even higher...

Anonymous · Answer

You're beautiful, try to embrace your natural hair. If you did that it would be game over!! I personally feel that is what sets we as black women apart from other women.

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

My advice stop stressing over this little thing try loving yourself more and the right person will eventually find you

Liam_Hayden · Answer

I know it sucks but I learned long ago to ignore those who are disinterested and move on to other girls. There are enough guys out there for you to do the same.

Jack-mayhoff · Answer

Well I can’t speak for everyone that’s obvious. But i honestly don’t see why. You are a hottie. So unless it’s your attitude then. I’m that’s pretty sad. And I am not saying you have bad attitude or personality. Just saying.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have any advice but you're way more attractive than the average black girl in my opinion and I would pick you over your friend in the picture based strictly on appearance.

Prof_Don · Answer

To be blunt, you hang around mostly white people. Diversify your friend groups and social circles, and you’ll see a difference in your desirability.

swettannie · Answer

you are gorgeous. if a black men don't choose you, then it don't deserve you ! you deserve a lot of love !

andreasderjuengere · Answer

When you go hunting for men: why do you show your friends?

honestGUY45 · Answer

Next to you, your friend isn't even cute. By herself she might have a shot, but not for long. Someone else will walk by eventually, putting her 'beauty' in perspective.

Josephx760 · Answer

Hell nah you cuter then you're friend, you'll find someone good for you.

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer the skinny black girl over the chubby white girl. But I am not a black guy so “thicc” isn’t my thing.

life_isshort · Answer

Fuck your friend # sorry no offence , everyone is unique  U will have your chances ,

Jedai · Answer

No because because they probably are just putting them selves our there for anyone, and what happens there is they those guys who are just want to be palyers. So they probably get hurt a lot. Because those guys who hit on them are hitting on some may more girls, because they are uncertain if them own self.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

I believe you will find som3that will love you and care about you for who you are.

michael1469 · Answer

Girl you are 21... you should have no problem finding a guy.

andy530 · Answer

No you’re gorgeous you’ll find a good person to be with

Gregorysub · Answer

Never give up I like u better than the blonde thick chic

SilverRain92 · Answer

You look attractive, just find a guy who is into black girls

Kathy_Scorpio97 · Answer

Your Gorgeous if you were closer I’d take you to dinner.

Knuxx · Answer

Everyone has thier preference and you are pretty. I'm pretty open but I have a preference still.

DaMack999 · Answer

She is cuter so I'd find a friend am cuter then them. Lol

AcidT0y · Answer

I'd for sure prefer a black girl over a blonde

Nahid1707 · Answer

You’ll find somebody.

Crimsonstorm · Answer

What? you are a Goddess next to her

neoxx · Answer

Aw no you are girlfriend worthy.

Anonymous · Answer

You have some attention?

Anonymous · Answer

Wgtow? 🤷🏽‍♀️

My friends always get more attention from guys than me. Should I just give up on dating?

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