When the guy pursues the girl and messages her daily before a relationship. Does he look more attractive or less attractive?

Question

Barbaric · Accepted Answer

If one person is making more of the effort, that means that the attraction is more one-sided.

If the guy is pursuing the woman, and she's sitting back rather than meeting him half-way, it's bad for that reason. He should move on from such a woman.

Another thing men should consider when it comes to women speaking about these things and giving advice is that, as Rollo Tomassi speaks about, women "make rules for betas and break rules for alphas". Betas meaning guys she's less attracted to, alphas meaning guys she's strongly attracted to.

Women will tell men things that give them the power in the dating game. Why wouldn't they? It's pointless to hate on them for that, it makes perfect sense. If they could convince most men to follow their way, and give them the power, then they could avoid players for example, and get whatever they wanted. In fact for a woman that's the smart thing to do.

But, they also all sound so sensible online, we all do. To hear most people talk they never do anything based on emotion, everything they do is completely logical and we never go against those things right? We all know that's bullshit.

So, a woman will say that she'll never chase a man, that she expects the man to pursue her, that she'll make a guy wait for sex. That's when the woman has the power. And that's true - with the guys she's only kind of attracted to and isn't sold on yet.

However, once she meets a guy she's strongly attracted to she acts more on emotion, and all of that goes out of the window.

The same girl who'll have with one guy on one of the first few dates will say to another one "I don't have sex unless I'm already in a committed relationship and I prefer to take it slow" and make him wait weeks/months. All depending on how attracted to him she is.

Pasiton5 · Accepted Answer

Why do we continue to add more stress to a stress full life if s babe and dude have mutual attraction from the start who cares if he text call her first second long as they feel the chemistry and go with it it's like never respond to a text right away want them to think your busy too busy to respond right away dumb why you don't answer your phone and say nothing for 5 minutes do you stop all the little quirks that adds to life's stresses a girl likes a dude tell him speak your mind always stop reading those dos and don'ts books people that write them is just messing with your head life is simple stop screwing it up putting not walls in your way,

Yads_Is_Back · Accepted Answer

Neither. How much he messages me is not a factor that can determine attractiveness.

It definitely is is a positive though, unless I’ve told already rejected him due to no attraction to him, like if he’s just not what I want in a partner. If I rejected him for that and he’s still pursuing like that then he’s losing with me really fast, making me see him as annoying.
If I rejected him because the timing is not right and I’m just not ready for a relationship then him pursuing is still positive, but I don’t expect a guy to hold on to that. He has every right to keep moving and not waste time on waiting on me. However, don’t move on then come back to me later when I’m ready. That’s a stupid move.
And there is no doubt of which is my reasoning because I’m not gonna lie about it, but some guys are afraid to ask why - which one is the reason - because when you tell them it’s the first one, that he’s just not what you want - yeah, some guys freak out over that.

So, it’s not complicated, but it does depend on the situation.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

Attractiveness is a combination of variables, which could include the frequency of texts.

To me, I don't care if you're super attractive - if you text me every single day before we're dating, I'm gonna be turned off. That sort of thing screams "desperate and needy" to me.

But I'm also someone who is very much not a needy or clingy person. And I dislike neediness and clinginess - I'd be afraid you'd be even more needy and clingy in a full relationship. I'd rather maybe go for a coffee or date every weekend to talk about our weeks and swap stories.

However, other women might find that adorable or high value.

It depends on the girl.

Mickey9999 · Answer

Attractiveness is one thing and I think completely separate from your intended question. I appreciate the attention of a daily text. Even if it’s just good morning and that’s it. It shows I’m at least in their thoughts which more than likely they are in mine. I just ended an almost relationship. He texted daily and sent cute loving emojis. Said he wanted a future with me and looked at houses saying there was room for my mustang yet giving of his time was an entirely different issue. Says he needs to figure out why he’s broken and where his fear is coming from. Part of me is upset because of my feeling of rejection and partly because I feel like this was coming the entire time. Yet chasing someone, I have mixed feelings on that. While I’m a romantic and think some people need persuasion, some Just like playing games so if you need to chase, you should be well knowledgeable in psychology and body language so that you know efforts are not being wasted.

Dazey14 · Answer

It def depends but it is nice to know you are being thought of morning and/or night. The problem with the frequent texting is that it is sooooo noticeable when it drops off. You eventually realize the person's personality is just a bit impulsive and they are running through their checklist. It was an interview. If you can't make arrangements to meet due to work or travel soon enough, it's possible it won't happen. Somebody else is on board even though you had a pretty good connection. I'm beginning to feel like I give good text. My time is being wasted ultimately. One even stole some of my stuff! "Sleep well" smh

Anonymous · Answer

Women will all answer that it increases attraction but in reality it doesn't, as the asker pointed out in his update. If they are not attracted to him they will find it annoying; if they are attracted then the unsurity of whether he is fully into her fuels her attraction. (Women do this too-by playing hard to get and/or delaying sex to keep him interested). Neither side likes these tactics but both use them because they are effective. Further, if you respond quickly and often to her texts (much less initiate a lot) then she will expect it and you will be one of those "yes precious, whatever you say" simps who hand over their testicles to their girlfriend/Mommy

Peanut127 · Answer

It depends on age and where ur both at in life, under 25 years old would look desperate. But if ur well into 30's and know u both have jobs, getting that text after work hrs shows me he's kind enough to check in and talk about our days. Proves he cares and not just lazy tired after work.. If we discussed our lives enough, he'd know if I could or have the time to talk. But late in day would help relax me hearing from him. :)

BreadNbutter · Answer

This will always depend on the type of girl you’re attempting to attract. A requirement in almost every relationship is daily communication so it isn’t bizarre if you feel the desire to speak to her on a daily basis. We women talk nonstop most days so it’s in her to communicate.

mamasan · Answer

If I'm really interested in the guy, I like getting daily messages from him. I'm happy to occasionally send the first text of the day too, however. It's not all up to the guy. I wouldn't want a guy who I'm really interested in to think I'm not interested because I'm playing hard to get or whatever.

Wild_princess · Answer

If he message daily only like one or two times then it's fine but more than that then it becomes irritating...

Despite · Answer

Definitely the second one. Girls don’t want you to waste their time. Well the good girls don’t. But attractiveness isn’t really based on that at all really.

You say that the first one is the one that works. It’s just that a lot of girls are not mature enough to handle the second one. But they do want it. I assure you.

SexyAshh · Answer

It depends. If i have some attraction to you i won't always reply, but there's something hot about you chasing and being so persistant. I will still reply to an extent.

If i dont and you message me daily i won't EVER respond and you will probably be blocked

MountAverage · Answer

This is exactly the kind of simplistic black and white thinking that will get you nowhere in dating.
Also: " Guys are responding because they know the truth of whether it works or not."? You're a such a delusional little worm, it's almost amusing. Your "us vs. them" just shows how low your mental maturity is. Ridiculous.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd say that what matters is to be authentic. If a guy wants to do it, because its his personal choice, is an act of vulnerability and courage. And yes, thats' attractive.
Half of the guys that have shown interest on me have been so "flaky" and believe me.. that is the worst a guy can do.

richardsnarky · Answer

I imagine that it would depend on how she feels about the guy. It would probably turn her off if she really isn’t that into him and it would probably increase her level of attraction if she already very much into the guy.

jshm2 · Answer

It make a restraining order look more attractive, to her.

Tru-陳 · Answer

Dont listen to women saying you're more attractive if you message, they're just saying that to keep you where they want you. ALWAYS be 10% more distant than she is.

Nawlins34 · Answer

His actions show that he's interested in that woman and only her. Nothing wrong with that.  He can always dial it back if need be. Especially if he's set boundaries ahead of time.

Browneye57 · Answer

No, it doesn't. It makes him look weak and pathetic.
The ONLY way you can establish a relationship with anyone is by spending quality time together. You simply cannot forge a relationship by texting. For a LOT of reasons.

morimeme1 · Answer

Depends on how she feels about him, if she is not sure or is not into him, that comes off as desperate or even annoying.

Superticklighgirl · Answer

Is this hypothetical or between 2 real people. Describe their personalities and I will give you my opinion.

_Whatever · Answer

It's too much. They stop respecting you after a while. They just won't ever admit that, because they actually just enjoy the attention we give them. They thrive on that and are concerned with that above all other considerations in life.

Dougzy · Answer

that is just so needy messaging every day, hello puppy if you play the way I want I might rub your tummy turn it in will ya! I would rather die alone than do that, a pretty strong chance I will. could never lower myself to do that yuk

Unit1 · Answer

There's a line between  searching for a girlfriend  and simping women and inflating their egos, so that only the top 20% of men are considered to be dating material

mamamai · Answer

It takes guts, women like men who aren’t afraid of them

Smoothing · Answer

It all depends on the maturity level of the girl/woman.

AlongCameCindy · Answer

WAYYYY more attractive if he messages me first and interacts, i'm not the type to keep messaging first, if a guy doesn't message me first, i won't bother because i'd assume he was not interested.

pigoat · Answer

Messaging daily makes him desperate  Pursuing is not the issue here

Agem123 · Answer

If I already like him, it's a turn on. Otherwise, I'd think he's desperate somehow or has a boring life.

Jltakk · Answer

its funny when they tell you to "keep letting her know you want her" and then they'll tell you "stop approaching women constantly, they said no already"

es20490446e · Answer

A guy pursuing a SANE AMOUNT looks more attractive.

Siavash_1990 · Answer

he will look desperate which women love to play with

jimmy2 · Answer

But in a short amount of time this guy will mo longer pursue without somekind of her response that builds up

Anonymous · Answer

A guy has to look more attractive if he doesn't want to get rejected.

Anonymous · Answer

well its normally the guy doing the pursuing in the early stages

CakesNCream · Answer

More attractive for sure

kemo56 · Answer

I completely don't understand the update?

Feelicks · Answer

Ya, try to avoid simping.

When the guy pursues the girl and messages her daily before a relationship. Does he look more attractive or less attractive?

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Girls do you find a guy more attractive when he approaches you directly because of that?

When the guy pursues the girl and messages her daily before a relationship. Does he look more attractive or less attractive?

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Girls do you find a guy more attractive when he approaches you directly because of that?

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