There are, it seems to me, Dian, several types of men in this situation. Firstly though, his attention is attracted by them in the same way as it was attracted to you, it is how all heterosexual men are hardwired. If he was not attracted at all by any other woman then his sexuality might be in doubt. I have seen many women check out men when they are with their husbands and boyfriends, If you are completely honest you would have to say that you are not oblivious to any men other than your boyfriend. You may put that away after a split second but it is there.
Men fall into several types in dealing with this as I say.
Some men pretend to see only the woman in their lives when they are with them - if they fool themselves and the woman they are with fine, but it is dishonesty and not natural behaviour.
Some men will briefly look at a woman but not gaze ... not trying to hide it .. a man should be happy to be a man and appreciate a pretty woman and he should want his girl to be happy being a woman - of course if either is the jealous sort he will have to retreat to the type I have mentioned firstly.
The third type are those who not only gaze too long but humiliate the woman they are with by extolling the charms of the person he is staring at - this man gives the others a bad name!
There are more variations but you get the idea!
What you perhaps need to remember Dian, is that he is with You, not them ... he knows you as a whole person - it is about what is inside as well as the shape of a breast or the line of a hip etcetera. We are not angels floating about on heavenly clouds wearing halos and playing with ribbons - we are mortal human beings no different inside to what our ancesters were 30,000 years ago. We are still driven to search for a mate, to procreate and to pass on our genes. Society may try to imprint patterns of behaviour but what 'attracts' us runs deep ... we camouflage our natural body odours with soap and fragrances but visually the imperatives remain.
An interesting tangent to this is that where I live in the North of the United Kingdom there used to be an unwritten rule that a married lady would not speak to a stranger and her clothes were a lot more modest and did not invite attention. Nowadays the opposite is the case although very few people consider marriage as a certain part of their life together.
Personally I would not stare at or comment on another female even if I was talking to a female friend / aquaintance other than the lady in my life, but then the conversation is usually so interesting that I just don't bother looking around!
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Two things...
1) Being in LOVE with you doesn't mean he's now gay. He'll always find other women attractive. Always. Especially younger women as you both age.
There's nothing to be done because attraction isn't a choice. Our bodies want what they want.
This is NOT a measure of your beauty, or your value in his eyes. If he's WITH you then he's made his choice.
He's NOT shopping around, he's simply enjoying the scenery.
I explain it like this... I own a new 4-Runner. I love my "truck." It's my most treasured possession. And yet when I pass other new vehicles on the street I will often admire them. This doesn't mean I want to sell my Truck and buy some other guy's expensive car... I can simply admire the beauty in other people's things.
Most guys can admire other women without a specific desire to "own and operate." If that makes sense. He will always find beautiful women attractive. But realize that attraction is a feeling, like pain and hunger. It ISN'T a judgment on you, or these other girls. He's not comparing either of you. He's simply admiring.
2) He should be mature enough to control his outward behaviors.
Even if he finds other women attractive he should never behave in such a way that is disrespectful towards you. If you don't like him looking at girls he should respect that while walking with you.
He should also never bother to tell you how nice these other girls look in appreciation for your sensitivity about the subject.
This is basic polite behavior.
If he IS being rude, let him know that you find it disrespectful and to oogle girls when you're not around.
I hope this helps!
~ Robby
My blog ( link )
first let me start off by saying GUYS ARE PIGS. they act on impulsive decisions and are very rude. they can't help it. its just the way most guys are. if he's checking out another girl, it does not mean he likes her better. if he liked all of these other girls better then he wouldn't still be with you. he would have dumped you at the first hot girl he saw. but he didn't so he obviously likes you and you have to give him so credit. he may be fantasizing about these other women but as soon as he can't see them any more he's fantasizing about you again. he's not likely to cheat but it can happen. we're all faced with the urge to cheat for one reason or another but I doubt this will be the reason that causes him to cheat. even us girls stare at an impossibly pretty girl and are jealous. when our boyfriends see us they're probably like what the hell?! they might question whether your into them or the girl you saw. we know that we love our boyfriends and wouldn't cheat on them. another thing to know about guys is that theyre simple minded. if you convince them once that your all for them, they believe you. they trust you. so trust him with this. but if its really bothering you and it continues, you may want to put an ad on craig'slist for a new boyfriend. don't stay in the relationship out of guilt. make sure your happy first. good luck(:
I don't have a blog or anything but I can say this: Bla bla bla Men are visual creatures so they look at other women etc etc. Just like how you and I would look at an attractive guy, he'd look at an attractive girl. Heck, maybe the girl IS more attractive than you are and he thinks so, maybe he does actually want to fuck her. Maybe he has visions of fucking her in disturbing positions... Now if you see that as a bad/ abnormal thing then hon, you'd be setting yourself up for some major insecurities. There are definitely going to be more attractive girls than both of us combined and if your man has eyes, a penis and taste, he'd definitely look.
Now does he put his head out and stare like a disoriented turkey when he sees those woman in front of you? If yes, that's another issue.
Also, you can never tell when a man is more likely to cheat. You'd have the perfect relationship and he's still capable of cheating. Love is a gamble where you'd just have to 'trust' him to 'love' you enough to not do it. One thing I can tell you though, if you're insecure in your relationship, it can spiral into a domino effect of messing up your love life.
You know what it means? It means he is a man. Just because a guy loves us and is attracted to us does not mean they cannot also find other women attractive. Since we do not have testosterone driving us the way it drives guys, we just don't get it, but guys won't stop noticing other women just because they love us.
Oh, and the most he can be thinking is seeing another woman as an object. Not like he knows her, cares about her personality or can imagine himself being with her. But he can think her breasts or ass look f*ckable. It's the same thing that happens in a one night stand. Women think if a guy has sex and enjoyed it, he must really like them, and how could he stop at one night, or how he could just want friends w/benefits without wanting more with them. It is because he is stuck just seeing that girl as a sexual object, nothing more.
I wouldn't worry about him. This is not a sign he is going to cheat. Sounds like he just isn't very sly about this. If you find it disrespectful the way he does it in front of you, tell him. He will still do it, he should just be better about how he does it.
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BE CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX OR LOVE BACK, ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTER HERE MUST BE IGNORE. BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE SCAM I MEAN REAL SCAM WHICH I WAS A VICTIM AND I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY WIFE BACK AFTER SHE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2 YEARS WITH MY 13 YEARS OLD DAUGHTER Betty, I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME ADDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM WEST AFRICA UNTIL I SAW A POST ABOUT MAMA ANITA SPELL AND I DECIDED TO GAVE HER MY LAST TRAIL. SHE ASK ME FOUR THINGS MY REAL NAME, MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND $200 AND SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN 24HOURS, I HAVE PAID OVER $3000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAVE WORK FOR ME AFTER 3 DAYS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR SO I SAID LET ME GIVE HIM A TRY SO I CALLED HER AGAIN AND SEND MY REAL NAME, MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND THE $200 BECAUSE I SWEAR IT WAS MY LAST TRY SO I WAS WAITING AS HE TOLD ME TO WAIT TILL NEXT DAY AND I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE MY WIFE AND WANT HER BACK AT 9PM THAT DAY I SAW MY WIFE ON LINE ON FACE BOOK AND SHE SAID HI AT FIRST I WAS SHOCK BECAUSE SHE NEVER TALK WITH ME FOR THE PAST A YEAR AND 9 MONTH NOW I DID NOT REPLY AGAIN SHE SAID ARE YOU THERE? I QUICKLY REPLY YES AND SHE SAID CAN WE SEE TOMORROW I SAID YES AND SHE WENT OFF-LINE I WAS CONFUSED I TRY TO CHAT HER AGAIN BUT SHE WAS NO MORE ON LINE I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AS I WAS WONDERING WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY, BY 7. AM THE NEXT MORNING SHE GAVE ME A MISS CALL I DECIDED NOT TO CALL BACK AS I WAS STILL ON SHOCK AGAIN SHE CALL AND I PICK SHE SAID CAN WE SEE AFTER WORK TODAY I SAID YES SO SHE END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY I GOT OFF WORK SHE CALL ME AND WE MEET AND NOW WE ARE BACK AGAIN I CALL DR OKAYA THE NEXT DAY THANKING HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE IN FACT I STILL CALL HIM AND THANK HIM AS MY LIFE WAS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT MY WIFE PLEASE BE CAREFUL HERE I HAVE BEEN SCAM THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU WANT A TRUE LOVE SPELL THEN CONTACT DR OKAYA (OKAYASPELLHELP@OUTLOOK. COM)
Not all men do this. Rather I spend my time keeping my eyes on my girls goods. For the most part it's because most of those other hot girls are sluts, whores, and skanks. Not to mention a lot of them have some serious baggage or serious issues...(I would know the last hottie I dated would cry throughout the day EVERYDAY how every guy she ever knew used her. I felt bad for her at first, but the more she talked the less sad I felt and the more I got tired of being around her. For one losing your virginity in 7th grade to a friend she had known for 2 weeks just because he was crying about being a virgin won't make a guy feel bad for you. ALSO telling him about every guy you ever had sex with is only going to make him think "I wonder if there is any tread left") I don't know what these other guys are smoking, but they wouldn't want to f*** those hot girls if they knew how messed up many of them are. Roughly 90% of women don't deserve happy relationships. There role is best served as single mothers and temptresses to attract cheating husbands from their wives.
The answer to all your questions is no. no! no! No!
Stop freaking out and getting all insecure.
Here is a few truths, some you will like, others you won't.
First if a guy checks out another girl, it does NOT mean he thinks she is more pretty than you. So calm down. Take a deep breath. Seriously. It is natural for men to enjoy female beauty on display. We all like hot women, its in every aspect of our culture, it is incredibly unfair for you to get mad at him for something all men do and have done since the dawn of time. We like hot women. Period.
Second, this is the part you won't like, it is also natural for men to have the urge to sleep with many, many women at once. He may not act on that urge. he will probably be sleep only with you, but he will want to sleep with other women, its biological, we are ALL want that.
When he sees a hot girl he is not comparing her to you to decide who is better. In fact he is not consciously thinking anything, he's on auto-pilot.
What his sub-conscious mind is thinking is: "boy I sure would like to f*** that hot girl and also continue to f*** my even hotter girlfriend. Then I would have it all"I think I see his point of view completely, and I see that the problem is that you don't fully understand the minds of men. In the minds of most men, there is a disconnect between sexual desire and love that most women do not have or understand. Men are subconsciously promiscuous, but their love for one woman and fear of STD's gives them restraint. It does not matter who you are; most straight men subconsciously want to have sex with multiple different women in any given month regardless of how attractive their one woman is. He checks other ladies out in front of you because he does not want to lie about the deepest, most secret parts of himself and because he knows that his love for you will keep him from ever cheating on you. Most men are not satisfied sexually by one woman because most men want to have sex once or twice a day and most ladies do not have sex with their man more than forty times per month. That's why most men who have a girlfriend still secretly masturbate and sometimes watch p*rn, and that's okay and totally normal and that is not wrong. It is true that it is something that he cannot help because he is probably a naturally honest and open person. That does not mean he is likely to cheat on you; the honest and open type are less likely to cheat then the very smooth, charming, and charismatic type. He does not love those other girls; he loves you, regardless of what other girls look like. Just keep in mind that guy love is a little different than girl love and that if your relationship can overcome your little insecurity then it will be stronger.
The reason guys look at girls with good physical features and why girls do the same with guys is because we are biologically meant to. Good physical features = good genes. People have been researched on what they find most attractive and the results? Symmetric bodies! What do symmetric body parts represent? Better genes! If your boyfriend is looking at other girls, he is looking for qualities that would give his offspring the best competitive edge possible...having said that, our species have learned to love and find THAT more attractive. Thus, although we look for certain qualities, being with you and having your personality is worth more to him than how good your genes may be since he is still with you, which is saying something in my opinion! He will not be more likely to cheat on you but just make sure he knows that it hurts you and hopefully he will take it down a bit...getting more adventurous in bed will never be a bad thing...the more you give him what he wants or has thought about = keeping him DEEPLY interested in you!
I am extremely attracted to my girlfriend. I see guys with girlfriends walking around malls and stuff, and they could be holding hands with their girl, and I see the boyfriend raping my girlfriend with their eyes while holding another girls hand. It's disgusting and I usually say something, but at the same time, I can't help doing it too sometimes. If I notice someone that is just visually flawless, I don't even think. I just tell myself damn in my head. I keep it pretty quick at least. (staring in general is creepy. If your boyfriend is staring a little too much, you might wanna think about what kind of thoughts are going through his head that are captivating him for so long. Be bold! call him out.) What gets me every time though are those leggings. My girlfriend picked up on me noticing those real quick. It gets kind of annoying though because she always assumes I was looking when she sees a decent girl wearing them even if I didn't see her. I love my girlfriend and I go home to her every night and that is what matters. I wouldn't cheat on her. Not worth losing such a great girl over sex when I can get it from the girl I love and have already. Any day. So like I said, I would just relax if I were you. It's natural. If he ends up disappointing you though, I wouldn't forgive him. Staring and mistakes don't go good together.
Here's what you do...when your boyfriend checks out other girls in front of you...YOU check out other GUYS in front of him...if he trips, then you call him out on his B*llsh*t..if he doesn't, then you may have nothing to worry about, he may not realize that his behavior is offending you. If a guy can't handle you doing the same thing to him as he does to you, then it's time to kick him to the curb, or continue to give him a taste of his own medicine until he sees how offensive his actions are! Men are just as insecure as women, but men and women handle their insecurities differently. Women turn their insecurities inward, and feel bad about themselves, Men turn their insecurities outward by trying to see how many women they can get with...or a man might turn his insecurities toward his girlfriend in order to make her feel bad about herself and unattractive, so she can began to think she cannot get any other man besides his sorry a**.But if this scenario exists, it is not all the man's fault...if a woman is dumb enough to believe she cannot get another man then..."Houston we have a problem"!
Welp, here's the deal. I don't think you weren't made to satisfy him, and neither is any other woman on the earth. And not just him specifically, but all guys. Doesn't it seem like a lot of guys are looking at porn even though they could have the real thing in their girlfriend/wife? It seems like all of us are looking for something more out there, maybe something that would finally satisfy all of our wants/needs. I'd say it's God, but you have to check that out for yourself.
Secondly, I think he can control it. As a guy going through the same sort of thing, I know its possible. I'm pretty sure the difference is between us trying to do the right thing, and us training to do the right thing. This is what I mean: what if some dude was going into the army, and he knew they were going to make him do 50 push ups right when he got there. No matter how hard he wants to and how hard he tries, if he doesn't physically train to do 50 push ups, he won't be able to do them. Same sort of deal with your boyfriend: He has to stop mentally "trying" (or maybe he's not even trying at all yet) and he has to turn that into action.
I think its fair for you to expect him to honor you, and if he's not living up to that, let him know. He may not care, but he may care. If he doesn't care about honoring you, its time to reassess the relationship.Hi,
When your guy checks out a girl he's not doing anything that any man hasn't done, and continues to do. As you know men and women are made differently, but what you might not realize is that men are visual creatures of habit, and women are emotional creatures of habit.
You and your kind are moved by how something makes you feel, and your guy is moved by what he sees. That doesn't mean he will cheat on you, or that he even thinks that what he's looking at is more attractive than you. There are times that I've looked at a woman's butt, but the woman herself didn't appeal to me, yet I still looked.
Hopefully, he'll show some tact and do it respectfully.
Hope this helps1
Rudes
My Blog: therudeawakening7.tumblr.com
linkOk, so ill explain this to you in the best manner possible.
Yes, ur boyfriend still loves you and find you attractive.
No, it has nothing to do with findinf them more attractive.
Males are wired differenty then females. As men, we are wired to focus on fertile women.
Big boobs, nice ass, fit body, cute face...those are all fertile qualities.
So, it is natural for him to look at other women.
Attraction happens, its a natural thing.
If he has a strong emotional connection with u, he will always prefer you out of every other women.It's natural for a guy to see a pretty girl and automatically check her out. Guys are very visual and while a lot of times a girl is attracted to a guy emotionally, guys are purely attracted physically, but personality does play a role also.
It's really just natural... While these girls may be more physically "attractive" he says, he still thinks you are more "beautiful" because he actually knows you and likes your personality as well... You're beautiful inside and out to him...
Nothing to worry about... If he already finds you to be the most beautiful girl in the world, he might look at other attractive women, but he won't really have any interest in meeting/getting to know them.
:)First, I think you worry too much about your appearance.
Next, A guy will ALWAYS look at other girls.
Guys are visual. We like to look at what's nice to look at.
It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
It doesn't mean that he's want to cheat on you.
It doesn't mean that you're not good enough.
He's with you, right? He puts up with you any time you're difficult, right?
He does that for you, not them. That should say something.
Why do you think a lot of guys hesitate about commitment?
It's our challenge to focus on the beauty on just 1 girl when so many girls are beautiful.
If you have a brother, or cousin or a friend that's a guy, ask and you'll see.Your boyfriend is being extremely inconsiderate of your feelings when he "checks out" other women in front of you. Perhaps a reasonable tactic would be for you to ask him if he would like it if you checked out every hot guy that walks by, maybe comment on the possible size of their package. I bet he'd go through the roof, but it would make your point.
Bottom line, even if your boyfriend "must" check out other woman, you should be able to expect him not to do it in front of you. By doing it in front of you he's putting you second to his momentary indulgence of some chick walking by - your feelings should rank higher than that.
Lay it out for him and if he keeps it up move on.
- DavidI'm a people watcher. It drives my girlfriend crazy. To the point that she'll pick the seat with the best view so I won't have one.
I look at women and men. Of course, when I'm looking at women I might find some attractive. I also may find something funny about them, or hideous, or noteworthy for a multitude of reasons.
So how do you know he finds them attractive and that's the ONLY reason he's looking at them? Does he tell you this?
Do YOU ever look at a guy and think "He's Attractive?" If you say "No" I have a feeling it's total BS.
Be glad he's with you. Let him satisfy his curiousity by looking around. If you ever see him look at someone's dog, ask him if he's into beastiality.Well, it's pretty rude to check other girls out in a way that is obvious to you. I'm not saying he should check out other girls or you check out other guys for that matter, it's just something that should be discreet and less obtrusive to your relationship.
I suggest you flamboyantly check out other guys while you are with him. Make some little comments under your breath so he barely hears them. See how he likes feeling self conscience and have the attention off of him and onto someone else. Sometimes a taste of bitter medicine, wakes people up.I would say 'No' to your first 2 questions. Everyone gets tempted by what is forbidden to them. Especially guys, in the area of physical attraction. But while most of us are like this naturally (as your boyfriend obviously is, please try and empathise with him) it can be controlled and eventually disciplined (though never fully).
From personal experience, if these habits continue, they could well lead to a guy being unfaithful to his lady. Your man needs to form a habit of bouncing his eyes off attractive females, and its highly possible to do. Talk to him as gently as possible and let him know how much it hurts you when he does this.
What I do is I think about God, is he displeased by my unfaithfulness? (cos that's what checking out other women is). Then I think about my girl, isn't she worth all my attention and sexual desire?
I hope your boyfriend isn't an atheist cos then you're screwed (joke)!
Hope this helpsdefinite insecurity with you, men who are looking for something will go over and talk to the while men who just think the girl has nice features will just look... its natural for guys to check out other girls... doesn't mean he likes them more it just means he likes a certain aspect of them... you strike me as a girl who wouldn't even like if her man looked at porn cause then he's fantasizing about another girl or some sh*t. Men will always fantisize about other girls and sh*t but it doesn't mean they will act on it and/or that they aren't perfectly happy with you
We guys have a real problem with our eyes. I didn't really notice that I had a problem until I had a girlfriend who let me know in no uncertain terms that I was cruising other women while I was supposed to be with her, and that she didn't like it. When I'm with her now I make a huge effort, if I see another girl, not to stare, but instead to direct my eyes back to my own girl. She checks me on it too. Every time a pretty girl goes by she watches how I'll handle it. I make it a point not to look longer than a second at the other woman, and when my eyes get back to my own girl her eyes are waiting for mine and she will smile and nod to indicate that I passed the test... this time. Maybe you can teach your man this difficult discipline.
This subject is a little iffy for me because I think it depends. Everybody knows that guys like to look at girls.. it being 'natural' isn't an excuse if it bothers the girl though. I have come to accept the fact that guys are gonna look at other girls, it doesn't mean I'm not pretty enough, it doesn't mean they want a different girl, they just like to look! lol. HOWEVER, it is rude to do this blatantly in front of me. If we are at dinner, on a date, and you are sitting across from me and some girl with big t*ts hanging out of her shirt walks by and I can practically see the drool coming out of your mouth I'm gonna be irritated. Sometimes, the guy slips up, and I'm like okay, I get it, I forgive you, whatever. But doing it ALL the time right in front of me with no regard to how it makes me feel, is unacceptable.
im an average looking girl, and I accept that there are much more gogeous girls than me out there and it doesn't bother me. I like looking at guys, and if I have a boyfriend I still have hormones lol.
if I catch a guy I'm with checking out a girl, whether its on the street or in a movie, it doesn't annoy me. most often ill say out loud what I think the guys thinking, like "i wish my t**s looked like that", or 'wow, look at the ass on that!" I make a joke about it. it catches them of guard and they love it! it can lead to a conversation about fanatsies about threesomes etc. its good fun, for you and the guy, and gets the attention back on u. I've had some pretty kinky conversations doin this, and we both end up horny ;)
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