Found out my boyfriend isn’t a fan of holding hands when walking?

[Angels12345]

Hi guys. Me and my boyfriend have been dating 3 years. He often holds my hand on the train or if where seated somewhere, but the other day we were walking down my street and I wanted to test him as I had in my mind he never holds my hand in public. so I held his hand, and for like 5 seconds he reciprocated but then let go again to it h his nose, and this happened like 3 times in the space of a minute! I questioned him, and he says he feels to be free when he’s walking, and not just in one position - it’s uncomfortable :( it really hurt my feels but he doesn’t understand. I’ve explained it makes me feel like he’s embarrassed but he said it’s nothing to do with that it’s uncomfortable... I don’t want to break up with him over it but it’s just so sad as I love that stuff.

[ettubrutus]

Personally I'm the same. I don't really know why I used to dislike holding hands while walking, it has nothing to do with being embarassed. I just felt like it made us a target of some sort, maybe I'm just paranoid. I'll hold hands in public, but it's just kinda annoying if we're trying to walk.

[Angels12345]

Target on what way?

[Massageman]

My wife and I seldom hold hands in public, and then usually just to stead the other as they move around (we ARE almost 70). We've never seen it as a source of embarrassment, rejection or anything else. If this is the worst thing that happens in your relationship, you will be very blessed.

[annie6815]

If that is all you have to worry about in your relationship then you have it good

[TonyMetal___86]

There is nothing wrong in holding hands, actually if i had a girlfriend or wife, i'd always love to hold her because it makes me feel always close to her and makes me feel that she is mine all the time, also her little soft hand will give me a nice feeling 😊
People are just different, all i know is that someone should never be embarrased from the one that he or she loves...

[PeterCharie1991]

I was the same with my ex I felt embarrassed etc holding her hand in front people and in public , it upset her she walked off her nan spoke to me gave me words of wisdom and I apologised and I asked for a hug, I promised her ill try harder in future and fron that moment on I loved holding hands till we broke up , my advice is just talk to him give him words of wisdom

[RemoErdosain]

I think if you're proud of your girlfriend, you will hold her hand. Maybe it's just me, but such public displays of affection come with having a partner. I'd be offended too if my girl didn't want to hold my hand in public

[spartan55]

You are considering breaking up over this? Damn that's fucked up.

[Primrose21]

Yah. Girls are always looking for drama. Crazy right? 😂

[spartan55]

I'm certain there are things about you that annoy him too... keep that in mind.

[Primrose21]

First of all i don't have a "him".
😛🙃

[spartan55]

I was directing my opinion at the OP

[DavidFox]

Compromise. Let him know on a date you would appreciate it if holds hands while strolling.

[Angels12345]

Yeah but then I feel like it’s forced. I wanted him to naturally wanna do that with me since he loves me blah blah.

[DavidFox]

Damn right it’s forced. So many things are forced to meet the needs of our SOs. Look he’s not going to wake up one day and all of a sudden want to hold hands. Better to slowly train him now

[Browneye57]

Oh my, you're one of those. A GIANT PITA. Knock it off or you'll get dumped.

[Angels12345]

So you think this is totally acceptable? Never holding hands when outside! Kinda romantic less if you ask me!

[Browneye57]

If you don't really love your guy, he's not the best thing ever in your life, then dump him so he can find someone who does, and you can find someone you do.
This whining and fussing about holding hands in public is beyond petty and ridiculous. That you make a big deal about it is a GIANT RED FLAG. You are beyond confused about what's really important, and that will be your undoing. I guarantee it.
Next thing you'll decide to be perturbed about some other innocuous thing, it will be the toilet seat, or the car door, or his dirty clothes, or some other stupid and unimportant thing. in my opinion you're simply not ready for dating or commitment. You need to grow up some more.

[Angels12345]

Okay first of all he does MANY irritating things around the house and I’ll simply tell him not wine about him. I pick up after him all the time, I do everything in the house. All he has to do is work. So for me to ask for a little bit of romance doesn’t make me confused about what’s important. It makes me human!

[Browneye57]

Uh, no. This is a failed relationship. Fix it or get out - it ain't changing.
The bottomline is you don't really like this guy, there's no respect or awe, so it's going nowhere fast. DUMP HIM.

Guys get with girls hoping they'll never change.
Girls get with guys thinking if they bug the shit out of them hard enough or long enough, he MIGHT turn into something she can stand to be with. Ain't never happening honey. You chose poorly. Cut your losses and move on.

[Angels12345]

It’s fine...

All I was wondering is if it’s normal behaviour for SOME guys to not want to do that and your coming for me like I’ve done something wrong.

[Browneye57]

You HAVE done something wrong - you chose poorly and keep hanging around for more, hoping he'll change. Ain't never happenin' toots.

[CT_CD]

What's the point of walking around in public holding hands?

[Anonymous]

You've been dating him for three years and you are just finding this out now? What have you been doing in the interim?

[Angels12345]

He works like all the time!! So we rarely go out to be honest for me to pay close attention to it...

Yesterday we had a date night in first time in ages! I got all dressed up and excited as we hadn’t been out for months especially coz of lock down. And this is how our night ended! Me upset and him like I’m being a baby

[Opinion Owner]

Well you're not getting what you need out of the relationship. You should talk with him about it more to see if you can come to an arrangement.

[On_the_other_hand]

Can you walk arm in arm?

[Angels12345]

I have done that before.../ but his arm is so stiff... I feel like hand holding is more romantic but he just doesn’t see it that way :(

[On_the_other_hand]

The thing I would be concerned about is... is he willing to publicly show the world we are together as more than friends. If you can do sustained things that say as much or more about the relationship then I wouldn't take it personally. I have had a few relationships where they just didn't like holding hands and it wasn't how they didn't want to know she was mine. If you can check and see if he is willing to show the world he is with you in other forms then I'd accept his reasoning. If you can't be close in public with a lot of witnesses then that would be a red flag.

[Twalli]

Maybe try something else that he is okay with.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Oh darn.

[GreenGold1992]

talk to him about it

[eagle1951]

well that just sucks