This is a question carried over from Quora. [https://qr.ae/pNbKf3] This is what I originally said over there:
"I wouldn’t date a girl - and have actually rejected at least three in real life - if she had any kind of height requirements. Being my shortness is my biggest - and primary - insecurity, it just kinda pisses me off when a girl tries to think of you as an inferior man just because you’re not tall. And in this case, I mean girls who try to say “I won’t date guys who are [X height] or less” or “I won’t date a guy who isn’t a minimum of [X height] and up,” even if I happened to fall under the “just barely passing” grade for these women. These girls have typically said a 5′10″ minimum, though most of the time, it’s six feet. But I don’t care; screw you and your shallow-ass dating criteria for men. To use another analogy, it’d be like a woman saying “I don’t date Asians and Mexicans. They’re gross and nasty. But hey, you’re not Asian or Mexican! Let’s go out and you can buy me a drink.” I’d still be rightfully turned-off by such a racist chick. And that is why I don’t date ANY girls with such height requirements that have specific number cut-offs."
What's a shallow reason why you wouldn't date someone?
Laugh at my shallow reasons but it actually tells a lot about a person :
He should not have more than 3 ex girlfriends.
He should not be flirty or react on the pictures of beautiful girls with "Heart Emoji". (Have the emojis lost their meaning?) Like option isn't enough?
He should not have a big social circle unless it's profession related (I'm also an extrovert but I am still picky)
He should not have more than 2 female friends and those 2 should behave like a sister.
He should be good looking. Ugly guys are only loyal as they don't have many options. His real loyalty will be tested when he is desired by many woman, so I prefer him to be good looking.
He should not be carefree in general (Relationships or even keeping a pet requires effort, interest and commitment. You can't get good things magically for free!).
Conclusion : I have the same qualities that's why I expect the same and won't settle. I would rather live alone than be with the wrong one. Only the real one deserves my fierce loyalty, love and support.
Tbh I get it. No point being with someone you won't be happy with, I just dont get the height thing (unless there's a huge difference) but someone an inch shorter than you doesn't make them any less of a person and if you wear heels that's your issue tbh.
I mean I won't be with anyone who's massively overweight, like I'm talking rolling down the hill overweight,
That and junkies/alcoholics
Anything else is nothing, I dont want my own kids doesn't mean I wouldn't be with someone cause they have kids (minus the 3 kids. woth 3 different people parents)
@Be4rdy yes I never mentioned or complained about the height. Others are doing that for even 1 inch difference. I just mentioned certain behaviors importantly.
tbh, that sounds like a nightmare. Let's see, we are looking for a romantically inexperienced man, who has difficulty interacting and making friends in general, but more specifically has an exceptionally hard time relating to and being friends with women. He should be serious about everything, oh, and hot.
At 21, you still have a good chance actually of finding this man. There are still plenty at that age who lack experience and social skills.
I strongly disagree with the premise that being carefree means you "... can't get good things magically for free!". I am considered by many to be a fairly carefree individual, yet I have had an abundance of good things in my life. I have spent over 6 (cumulative) years of my life traveling internationally (for pleasure, not working or on business), excellent health and fitness (average resting HR of 53, body fat appx 12%) own my own business, own my own yacht (which doubles as my home) plus three other vehicles which I own outright, I have no debt (other than a small business loan which I have the liquid funds to pay off completely, but I prefer to make the payments for the credit building aspect), multiple retirement accounts, and a credit rating >800. I have experienced many wonderful things in my life and gained a lot of skills (sports, mechanical, educational/knowledge, social, etc), participated in a lot of fun experiences both on my own and with others. In addition to international travel, I have also traveled most of the USA, including AK, HI, and around 35-40 of the "lower 48".
I also have many wonderful relationships with family members (I would say I am actually very close/intimate with about a dozen of my immediate and extended family) and friends (estimate about a dozen really close friends and a dozen more good friend, and maybe 20-40 more whom I love to see and hang out with but that I'm not as deeply intimate with). both men and women... oh wait, I forgot you would list this as a BAD thing!
The thing about being carefree is that (I feel) you tend to react more spontaneously and openly to opportunities as they arise. Having this flexibility of spirit and acceptance of whatever chaos life throws your way creates an adaptability which (I believe) absolutely brings MANY good things to pass. If that is "magic", then I'm a magician.
Only if it's a broad. That's it, I swear. I went on a date with a woman once to see what it was like and it was awful! I am 100% straight. Don't care if a guy is short, tall, fat, skinny, in a wheelchair, blind, has acne, is a dwarf or has a prosthetic limb, wears dentures, covered in tattoos, hairy, has one eyebrow, lazy eye or missing an eye, has pink hair (or any color) crooked teeth, doesn't speak much English, is obsessed with cartoons and dresses like a gamer, bald, has facial hair, wears glasses, walks with a limp, cross dresser, furry costume obsessed, I don't care if he lives in his parents basement or if he works at a sperm bank or has been to prison, race doesn't matter either, I like men only and that's my story, I'm sticking to it.
I absolutely agree with you and I've never understood that height requirement shit. I've yet to have it explained to me either.
On the flip side, my shallow reason? Crooked/bad teeth. I had bad teeth growing up and I went through the hassle of getting them fixed. So it's an immediate red flag for me that they don't care to do that themselves.
Tall men try to rationalize it by saying it's hardwired into women's DNA since the cavemen days, like they still need Conan the Barbarian men to wrestle sable-tooth tigers into submission for them or some sh*t. And women try to say they need to feel "safe and protected" and that they feel like they could easily beat up/overpower any man who wasn't taller than them. It's a dealbreaker with me for a reason, even if that applies to statistically 96% of straight women out there.
The tall men lie, is so obvious a lie, in stoneage , food was in short supply, and only thing about tall men that true is they consumes more food, size equals more food intake. Being tall also mean and still do, its hard to move fastt and hide, hiding were important that time too. Goosd genes, no way is tall people having better genes, lokk at the deadth rate for us tall people, so many things hit us much more often than shorter people, all those things are fact. While to say a tall guy protect you better, is openly more difficult to say, most tall guys i'd met run away at first problem. And only a idiot think a tall guy is stronger , and a tall guy might scare some at first, but most wouldn't, muschel might and a tall guy need more muschel to look fearfull
I do not like women with humongous boobs. Assuming that they are natural, I know that it is not a woman's fault that her boobs are a 38W (atermelon.) But I am just not attracted to those huge-ass, flopping around in the wind, tucked under her belt titties. No sense in pretending that I'm attracted when I'm not.
I don't know if I have a "shallow" reason. I don't think I would date a woman who had an income requirement simply because while I understand the need for money, if that is your first priority your clearly an idiot and I don't have time for that. Also if they are flaky (I've had women do that, they would flake then come back. I don't play that game.). Things like that. I don't think its shallow, I think its seeing the red flags for what they are.
If he's shorter than me If i dont like the shape of his nose If he looks like he's balding If he's had sex with more than a handful If he has a lot of female friends If i dont like the sound of his voice If he's too attached to family If he games too much If he's 5+ year difference
If I’m not attracted to them but who wouldn’t. More to your question, voice. I literally didn’t date two guys because of their voices. One i was attracted to physically and the other I wasn’t. But I don’t think such things are that shallow. No more so than someone eating with their mouth open etc. there’s some personal attributes/habits you can overlook and some you just cannot.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Height too short, hairy chest, just unattractive, I don’t know if it’s shallow but I don’t really give conservatives a chance, his job depending on his age. Let me explain if you are waiting tables but your 25 it’s fine but if your 32 and still living at home it’s not someone I would date or make up with.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
How they treat other people (I know they probably won't treat you like crap if they like you but it puts me off if they're nasty). I don't know if that's shallow though?
I'm sorry but be has to be taller than me. He has to have gold hygiene. But also I like guys who are not told friendly around other girls as crazy as it seems
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